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It's been 8 months since my brother Cain died, My friend Sharif died right next to him during a shoot out that happened. My boyfriend Kevin but- everyone calls him O or O-dog wanted to find them motherfuckas who killed my brother.
But, on the other hand... I didn't want Kevin going out there in the streets and he fucks up and goes to jail or worse. I wanted him to be here for me.
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I was home with Kevin at night the day Caine was murdered, I was in our bedroom as he was on the telephone talking to A-wax and Stacy. "A'ight on them motherfuckas." he said, he slammed the phone on the table and came to the bedroom to get his gun.
"Baby, I know you mad and shit but, you don't have to do this." I told him, he was infront of the bed sitting on the end, I crawled by him and laid on his back. "Caine was my boy, I'm not go let the shit ride Y/n" he told me, He pulled himself of me quickly and walked to the other side of the room. "Caine was my brother O, If you do the shit you're going to be just like him!" I said, my voice became shaky. I feel my eyes becoming watery, seeing him like this wasn't gonna do shit! I wanted to beat that bitch that was so-called pregnant for my brother but, you don't see me getting my home girls to find that bitch and kill her!
Trust me, I'm as mad as Kevin is but, I'm not gonna put my life on the line. he turned around slowly and gave me this evil ass look as he looked like he was about to kill me. "fuck you mean like Caine?" he asked, he started walking up to me, I know he wasn't gonna hurt me but, he is not risking his life.
Caine is my brother and I love him no matter how much shit gets fucked up but, this my man we talking about.. I know that sounds fucked up how I pick my boyfriend over my brother but, Kevin been having my back before Caine. "you know what the fuck I mean Kevin! just like Caine dead-" I was saying, before his bony ass cut me off. "Nah fucked that! them niggas killed Caine for what?! cuz that hoe was pregnant? over some dumb shit like that?!" he yelled, at this point I was scared. I lost Caine already and I wasn't ready to lose him too.
I got up from off the bed, my tears was falling down my face, seeing my eyes red and my eyes puffy. I walked over to Kevin who was standing next to the window in our room, "So what Kevin? you kill someone and risk your life? YOUR LIFE?!" I said, I started yelling making him roll his eyes.
"I guess I do what I have do..." he said, he brings his head up showing that he wasn't scared but, that shit didn't have nothing over me. I feel myself become heated, knowing that this hardheaded ass nigga was about to do some dumb shit and get his ass caught, the police already looking for his ass because he killed these two Chinese people in the corner and rob them for talking about his mama, crazy ass.
My anger came over me and I felt my hand go across his face, I slapped him.
"So, you have to do what you have to do huh? then get the fuck out!" I yelled, I went to my drawers and took all of his clothes out then walked over to my closet and all the rest of them of the hangers. "The fuck you doing?!" he asked, he walked up to my and grabbed my waist to turn me around, "If you keep doing this shit, killing people! then just leave." I told him, I put my hands on my hips and furrowed my eyebrows.
he looked down to the ground and chuckled then looked back back up at me, He walked back over to the bed and grabbed all his clothes. My eyes became huge, I was in shock... I can't believe this nigga go leave me for this!
He packed all his clothes in a bag and was almost out the door, I was behind him standing by the front door. He stopped in his tracks and came closer to my face, I looked away pushing myself from him.
He still came closer to my face and gave me a kiss on my cheek and walked out the house.
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That's the last time I saw Kevin, I got a call that late night saying that he was arrested.
I was home alone now, Kevin was gone, the only people I had was A-Wax and Stacie. Ronnie would visit often throughout 3 months each of the time, Stacie would visit every month of there year... Before Sharif was murdered, Stacy and him we're leaving to move to Kansas.
But Stacy, he didn't think twice. He left California with his baby and his girl and didn't look back.
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It's a year, 6 months and 20 days being without Caine, Kevin and Sharif... Today was the A-wax mama was having a cook out for O because he was coming home, I decided to go because throughout the time he was in jail, we sent letters to each other.
We decided well- Kevin decided that we should take a break, would ever the fuck that means. So, we kept it simple and went on with our lives.
I was getting ready for the cook out when a little someone disturbed me, "Mama." my daughter, Jhene interrupt me. She pointed up at her hair that was messed up, "Aww Jhene I just fix your hair!" I whined. I picked her up, walked back to my bed and brushed her up into a puffy bun, I did her baby hairs and let her be on her way around the house.
I found out I was pregnant a week after O went to jail, I never sent him any letters or even called him to tell him that I was pregnant with his baby. everyone found out I was pregnant but I told them never to tell him if they went to visit.
Jhene looks just like her daddy, she has a little bit of me in her but, a lot of Kevin.
I decided I should tell him when I go to the cook-out today, I had Jhene dressed in a all pink Guess outfit with her little shoes.
I called Ronnie and asked her if she was coming to O's welcome home party, she said yes so, I asked her could she do my hair and she said it was no problem.
Ronnie came a couple of days ago, she was staying at my grandpa and grandma's apartment. I was wearing a white crop top, with a black exposing skirt showing my stomach with straps for my shoulders with my braids wrapped up in a ponytail.
I was about to grab Jhene from out of her room, when suddenly there was a knock at the door... I walked back over to the door and opened to see Ronnie and Anthony.
"Heyy!!" I said, I hugged her as she gave me a smile and a hug back. "Heyy!" she says, I look over to Anthony who was giving me a little smile.
"Hey Little Man!" I said, pinching his cheeks. "Hey Auntie Y/n." he said, he ran into the house plopping on my couch and me and Ronnie laughed.
"So, where's Jhene?" Ronnie asked, before I can come get her she comes out the room smiling and giggling. "Hi! babygirl!" Ronnie yelled, Jhene ran to her and raised her hands for "up,up" as what she means when she wants someone to hold her.
I smiled at them two and looked over to Anthony who was watching Looney Tunes on my television, "Come on, little man we're leaving." I told him, he turned off the television and came by me holding my hand.
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On the way to the cook-out....
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"So, you ready to see O?" Ronnie asked, I looked over to her and smile awkwardly. "I'm- happy but, nervous... what he gone say when he see Jhene?" I asked her, I looked infront of me to see Jhene who was walking with Anthony playing which made me smile, I bit my lip nervously. "I mean, I don't know what to tell you Y/n, just when it's about that time you have to tell him." she says, she walked up leaving me behind lost.
At this point, I didn't even wanna see him. I mean, would it be the same if we still friends? what will he do when he sees Jhene?
I walked up faster to see Ronnie and the kids away from me, I was thinking about everything at this moment... what will happen when he sees me with his baby?
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We made it A-Wax moms house, we walked in the back of the backyard to see everyone we knew from growing up. My cousins, my home girls, Caine's homeboys, mostly everybody.
Me and Ronnie walked over to my girls, I've been knowing them since high school. "Hey girl! aww can I see her?" My girl Dashiki asked, Dashiki has about 5 kids with 8 different baby daddies, she had her first baby at 17. I gave Jhene to her while I sat down next to my Shalika, Now... Shalika she has about 13 different men... she don't care with the hell nobody say, as long as them niggas buy her shit and had good, rough sex... she's alright with that.
Jhene was sitting on Dashiki lap eating her baby food while I was talking to Shalika and Ronnie went to go Anthony and her some food, "So, how you feel about your man getting out today?" Dashiki asked, I looked over to and laughed. "I mean, It's true Y/n... we know you still want O-dog." Shalika said, I rolled my eyes playfully as in I didn't care.
"Bitch please, that motherfucka left me when I warned his ass, please." I said, mumbling that last part under my breath, Dashiki and Shalika looked at each other and busted out laughing.
"well, don't say nuthin' when O out here with another trick and you looking stupid." Shalika said, drinking her E40.
Ronnie walked back by us and had a smirk on her face, "what you smirking for?!" I asked, making a chuckle come out my mouth. "because your man here." she said, my eyes became wide open, I suddenly here everyone scream.
"Aye, ya'll go feed a nigga or what?" O screamed, everyone saw and ran to him hugging all on him an shit.
I stayed where I was, in my seat, quiet as hell. I looked over there to see Kevin laughing and smiling and he catches me looking at him, I quickly directed my eyes somewhere else and I prayed he didn't come over here.
"Aye, Y/n?" he called out, I closed my eyes and almost cried... on the other fucking hand, Dashiki, Ronnie and Shalika was laughing like some shit was funny, I was over here about cry because this nigga saw me.
I'm not gonna lie, I missed Kevin like crazy even though that motherfucka didn't listen to me.
I wasn't looking up to where he was, I looked down to the ground. "Hey, you don't miss me?" a voice called out, I looked seeing a tall, bony figure standing in front of me. Ronnie and the girls started with "ooo's" and shit, "Wassup..." Kevin says, with a smile upon his face.
TBC.......