A/N: Concupiscent is a fancy way of saying horny. Just thought you ought to know. *faints*
(I don't know why after I wrote that first statement, my mind went straight to Quirrell, but there you go, I went with it)
This yule ball night just seems to go on and on (for three whole chapters, like 14,000 words to be exact) and I kinda wanted to spend hours editing the whole thing till it felt right but then I thought nah lets just keep updating, I can always change it later. Lemme know what you think. Part of me figured it didn't matter if it was long cause there's a bunch of Severus in it heheh
Sorry for the delay btw - I did procrastinate by writing a Jason Nash one-shot ahahhahaha wtf. But im planning on uploading it for lols so follow me 😂
Shit I was supposed to be keeping my A/Ns shorter ffs
I hope you enjoy the chapter :-{P
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Making her way out into the Entrance Hall, Asha saw the castle doors were wide open, yet no icy breeze rushed inside. She soon realised why. As she passed beneath the huge arched doorway and down the front steps, her senses buzzed with the magic of what must've been a surrounding heat barrier charm. It was like a ginormous bubble stuck to the side of the castle, keeping the freezing night at bay.
She followed the main pathway around to the left, before coming to a stop. Marking the entrance to the courtyard was a magnificent tunnel grown entirely out of rose bushes. As she wandered through it, she looked in wonder at the many pink and white flowers which bloomed then closed as she passed.
The courtyard had been transformed to the point where it was unrecognisable. Fairies of every colour lit up the wondrous garden and winding ornamental paths. The splashing sound of a fountain could be heard and over top of the bushes, Asha could spot the tips of sparkling jets of water. There were only a few people scattered around the place - mostly pairs huddled on carved benches, or the occasional couple, half-concealed in the shadows (and who appeared to be quite busy).
Asha waited until she had walked around several turns of a secluded path, before taking a seat on a stone bench. She then took out her wand and concentrated hard.
Over the past few weeks, she had been working on a difficult form of magic - a sort of combination of the Accio charm, and object apparition.
She closed her eyes and vividly imagined the unopened bottle of gin currently locked in her trunk. Before leaving for the Ball, she had laced it with the receiving wards required for this spell. She flicked her wand three times, then tapped it next to her on the bench. When she opened her eyes, there sat her prize.
Then, without warning (or perhaps Asha had simply failed to hear the hammering footsteps, given her absolute concentration on the summoning charm), none other than Durmstrang Headmaster, Igor Karkaroff, came striding around the corner. He had appeared so fast, Asha didn't get a chance to do anything except look like a deer in headlights. The bottle of hard liquor stood beside her in full view.
Karkaroff stormed towards her, his goatee askew and a fearsome look on his face - a look which made even Asha a little afraid. She opened her mouth and made to stand up, ready to plead her case, but Karkaroff stomped straight past her, not even bothering to glance in her direction. Utterly bewildered, but relieved all the same, Asha dropped back on the bench once more. What the hell had just happened?
After a few confused, apprehensive minutes, Asha decided she was in the clear. She conjured a crystal tumbler (a much easier piece of magic than apparating the gin) and poured herself a glass. The burning, bitter taste in her mouth was contrary to the sweet relief it gave her. Within ten minutes, the alcohol had successfully dulled her inner turmoil, making it easier to temporarily forget the demons of her past.
Several paths over, there was a blast followed by a bright flash and a squeal. Over the top of the layers of hedging, rose buses and statues, Asha spotted a mini hurricane of leaves swirling back down towards the ground. Then, coming from further down the winding path, she heard an unmistakable voice.
"Out of there you two," came Severus' venomous growl, and quite at odds to his tone, Asha's insides produced a glow of amused fondness.
"Ten points from Ravenclaw, Davies," Severus continued in a contemptuous drawl from somewhere in the sea of bushes, "I'm sure there are other ways you can make our French visitors feel welcome."
"Zis is an outage!" and Asha broke into a grin at the angry cries of Fleur Delacour. "I 'ave never known a teacher to be so impolite! Does 'ogwarts know nothing of privacy? Madame Maxime will be 'earing of zis, I can promise you zat! Come along, Roger!"
There was a sharp clicking of Fleur's heels on the paving stones and a dull shuffling which was presumably the captain of Ravenclaw's Quidditch team hurrying after her (and away from his dream-shattering Potions Master).
Asha was still grinning as Severus rounded the corner.
Severus' heart gave a jolt of alarm when he saw Asha. How long had she been out wandering the garden? The thought of her having overheard his conversation with Igor was enough to make his stomach churn. Igor was a heedless idiot and rash when it came to when and where he talked.
Severus knew that one day Asha would have to find out about his own past as a Death Eater. He couldn't bear to think about it. He had already imagined her look of betrayal, loathing and disgust. And it seemed that the time for her to be told was approaching was faster than he would like. His Dark Mark was becoming clearer every day.
"You enjoying yourself?" Asha smirked. Severus was so relieved that it seemed Asha had not heard him and Igor, that he let his face brighten slightly into one of amusement.
"Enjoying breaking apart concupiscent adolescents? Certainly not," he replied with an undertow of sarcasm. Asha grinned at him and his insides gave an annoying swoop. Then he saw the bottle of spirits and it gave him a sharp reminder of where they were. This wasn't his office. Igor may be careless enough to think that the courtyard was a safe place to talk, but Severus certainly did not.
"Drink?" she offered, raising the bottle.
"Not here, Winters," he growled through his teeth. Asha suddenly realised he was right. They had no idea who could be listening in this maze of a garden.
Severus made to keep walking, but Asha jumped up and cut him off just before he passed her, glass in one hand, bottle of gin clutched in the other.
"Come on then," she said quietly, her eyes sparkling with mischievous daring. She stepped past him and continued down the path, beckoning him with a sideways nod of her head. For a beat, Severus didn't move. His face was inscrutable but he seemed to be considering her. Then he glanced around, clasped his hands behind his back, and followed.
Asha led the way to the very back of the courtyard, where a stone landing jutted out from the castle. She ascended the steps and took a left, following a raised veranda that skirted the edge of the courtyard. This eventually turned right, towards the Herbology classroom and greenhouses. Here, there was a balcony which was mostly obscured from the main courtyard and overlooked a section of garden which, like everywhere else in sight, was lit up by the rainbow colours of the fairies.
When Severus rounded the corner Asha raised her arms and eyebrows as if to say, 'Ta-da. This good enough for you?'.
Severus sighed and said quietly, "And what is to stop anyone else from coming exactly the same way we did? There are students crawling their way under bushes, for Merlin's sake."
Asha sniggered, imagining Severus having to deal with those students. "Fine," she chimed, resting her glass and gin down on a nearby bench. Severus frowned as Asha walked over to the marble railing that lined the balcony and placed her hand on it.
Pressing her palm onto the cool bannister, Asha extended her senses, reaching out towards the wall of magic that made up the massive heat bubble. Once she felt it, she moulded it, pulling and knitting it until it split and re-formed.
"There," she announced after a moment, taking her hand off the railing. Severus was perplexed.
The change had been invisible. He had no way of knowing what Asha had just done. She smirked, enjoying having the upper hand. "Go and have a walk back the way we came," she said mysteriously.
Severus gave her a suspicious look, before making his way back around the corner. After several strides, he was hit by a wall of ice-cold air and a nasty, cutting breeze. He continued a little further along the veranda and a blanket of pleasant, comparatively warm air engulfed him once more. He paused, experiencing a glow of fascination and awe at what Asha had just somehow achieved.
"Clever," he commented as he reappeared around the corner, returning to their private balcony.
"I know," Asha replied, shrugging off her brilliance with sarcastic self-indulgence. Now, if anyone tried to come their way, the unwanted guests would walk into the bitter cold and turn back, thinking they had hit the edge of the heat bubble.
"Now," said Asha, and Severus watched as she sat down on the marble bench, leaning her weight back on one hand, "would you like a drink?" She crossed her legs and the slit in her dress fell open, exposing her long, smooth thigh. "I can promise it's better than champagne," she added when he didn't respond, lifting the bottle and giving it an enticing wiggle.
In that moment, Severus' mind was screaming at him to leave, but his legs remained rooted to the spot. He eyed the bottle but didn't answer. Asha took that as a yes. She slid her wand from an invisible pocket at her hip and conjured a second tumbler.
"Getting good at that aren't you?" he intoned.
"I'm a fast learner," Asha shrugged, "when it comes to vessels for alcoholic beverages, that is." She charmed the bottle to fill the second glass before topping up her own.
"How did you get that out here, anyway?" Severus asked, nodding at the bottle as she placed it down. "Filch went overboard trying to stop students smuggling anything like that in."
Now, Asha bit back a truly self-indulgent smile.
"It was locked in my trunk," she hinted.
"Not..." he paused. His common sense told him it was an absurd guess - far too advanced... but Asha wasn't common. "...Displaced Object Apparition?" he answered sceptically. And, of course, she gave a nod, looking very smug. He cocked an eyebrow. "Well done, that is challenging magic," he commended earnestly.
Asha wandlessly hovered the glass of liquor over to him. He eyed it but made no effort to take it. "I should be patrolling rose bushes, not drinking with a student."
"For god's sake, Severus Snape," Asha scolded, both amused and exasperated, "give yourself a break for one night! I'll have you know that choosing to drink with me is a win, win, win," and listing on her fingers: "you get a break, I get the company of someone over the age of sixteen, and the hormonal teens of Hogwarts get to live their best lives getting scratched up in tangles of thorns."
"It's not a win for Pomfrey when she has to deal with an outbreak of S.T.D.s," Severus muttered. Despite this, he raised a hand to the glass and took a sip.
Asha grinned in triumph while ignoring the flutter of excitement in her stomach.
Severus glanced around then pulled out his wand. He leant over the balcony to the glowing garden in front of it and tapped the stem of a large rose bush twice with his wand. All the residing fairies rose in a rainbow swarm and zoomed off towards the main garden, leaving the area where Severus and Asha stood much dimmer than before. Though it was already unlikely someone would spot their balcony from the courtyard, it would now be impossible for anyone anywhere near the bright main garden to make them out in the gloom.
For a while, Asha and Severus talked about how the evening had gone. Severus shared some curious news about Mr Crouch being ill, causing Asha's mind to, once again, ponder the World Cup and Winky.
As they chatted, Severus found that his eyes kept trying to wander away from Asha's face. It was a frustrating urge that he couldn't seem to get a handle on.
Eventually, the conversation drifted to Christmas in general.
"What were your Christmases like?" Asha asked softly. She was genuinely very curious. Somehow her conversations with him never crossed into the territory of his personal life beyond Hogwarts. But at that moment, Severus drained the final dregs from his glass.
"I should keep moving."
"So that you don't have to answer my question?" Asha intoned shrewdly.
"So that I don't get blamed for neglecting my school duties," he replied cooly. With a wave of his hand, he sent his empty glass floating back over to Asha, to land next to the bottle of gin.
"I bet you volunteered to be patrolling out here," she taunted.
"I'm leaving," Severus stated, as if in punishment for Asha's jibe. "Goodnight, Winters."
"You're leaving me here unsupervised?" she asked innocently, before tipping back her head and draining her glass. "Who knows how much I'll drink if I have no one to talk to." A mischievous smile tugged at her lips. "You've already seen how drunk I can get at those sophisticated one-woman parties of mine."
Severus couldn't help but breathe a laugh. Asha could be very endearing at times. "You're not fourteen anymore, Winters," he smirked. "I'm sure you can handle yourself. As you pointed out earlier, the most enjoyable part of my evening is, in fact, spitefully breaking up youthful romance."
"More enjoyable than talking to me?" she countered.
"Hmm," he considered in a deep hum, "I have yet to decide."
For all this talk of leaving, Severus still hadn't actually moved. Maybe that was what prompted Asha to say, almost flirtatiously, "Perhaps you need to gather more data then? Before you're able to make your decision."
There was a long pause as Severus' dark eyes pierced her. She felt a wave of regret. She wondered if she had pushed the boundaries of their unorthodox relationship too far. Then, to her surprise, the corner of Severus' lips twitched.
"Perhaps I do," he said. He raised his hand and moved his fingers in a beckoning motion. The glass and bottle drifted back over to him and the glass filled. "But I want it on the record that I don't particularly approve of your drinking habits."
If Asha hadn't been so pleased Severus had chosen to stay, she would've been irked by this comment. Instead, she easily brushed it off, retorting, "If it weren't for my drinking habits you'd still be sober on expensively shit champagne. Besides, you're in the minority."
"What does that mean?" he questioned. She could practically feel his eyes piercing her.
"Well, Karkaroff stormed past me earlier and didn't confiscate the gin. Didn't even yell at me. And that makes two professors in this castle who aren't opposed to my drinking habits."
"And who is number two? I told you, I am not in favour."
"Oh, I know. You're not the other professor," Asha smirked. Severus raised an inquiring eyebrow. "Moody and his magical eye saw that bottle in my pocket," she explained, "the one I eventually dropped at the top of the Astronomy Tower. He saw I had it and he just winked at me."
Severus scoffed. "Well, that doesn't surprise me. The contents of his hip flask is questionable, to say the least." He wasn't fond of Mad-Eye Moody. Especially since Moody had taken the liberty of searching his office at the start of the year. But he wasn't about to tell Asha about that.
This talk of Professor Moody reminded Asha of her conversation with Cedric earlier that day. She intently explained to Severus how Moody had practically handed Cedric the clue to the Second Task. When she was finished, Severus folded his arms and looked at her flatly.
"It's just a bit odd, don't you think?" Asha prompted.
"Mm," Severus half grunted, half hummed, not entirely convinced. "So that's what you were so avidly discussing with Diggory this morning, was it?"
"You mean while you were spying on me?" Asha teased. By now, both of them were down a couple of glasses.
"Spying is quite the accusation, Winters," Severus replied in a smooth, sarcastic tone. "No, rather, while I was contemplating giving you a detention for gallivanting through the corridors."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Severus," Asha said, her eyes twinkling at him as she sipped her drink. Severus did the same. For some reason, he found himself feeling slightly breathless as he watched Asha run her fingers through her hair.
There was a lull in the conversation. At that moment, the silvery illumination of the landscape dimmed as the moon passed behind a distant cloud. There was a shift in the atmosphere as everything became a blur of shadowy outlines. The soft glow from the fairies in the courtyard around the corner was the only trickle of light.
Until then, Asha had been sitting on the bench while Severus stood, leaning back against the balcony railing. Now, she reached for the bottle and rose from the bench. She approached Severus and refilled his glass. She was doing it by hand this time because she didn't trust herself not to spill the drink down his front if she tried to use wandless magic again. Her head was swimming a little now.
"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk, Winters," came Severus' drawl. Asha looked up at him as she topped up her own glass as well. They were standing side-by-side.
"Me? Never. But now you mention it, a drunk Severus Snape would be quite a sight to behold." She clinked her glass against his. "Besides, I don't think it's fair that you've had the privilege to see me intoxicated and not vice versa."
"Privilege isn't quite the word I would use."
"Irrelevant."
Severus rolled his eyes. "It would take a lot more than a few glasses of gin to get me as drunk as you were that day."
"Can't hurt to try," she smirked, her eyes glimmering up at him from beneath her magically enhanced eyelashes.
Severus sighed and shook his head at her. He turned, leaning his elbows on the railing, glass cupped in both hands, and looked out into the gloom. True to his word, the only effect the alcohol was having on him was a slight light-headedness and a pleasant warmth in his chest.
Following suit, Asha rested a shoulder against the carved stone pillar beside her and gazed out across the silhouetted garden.
They drank in silence for a while. Apart from occasional distant footsteps and indistinct voices seeping around the corner, the only sounds were the whisper of leaves in the soft breeze and the faint thrum of music coming from the Great Hall. Asha felt so contented with the buzz of alcohol and the presence of a relaxed Severus by her side, she kept biting back a smile.
Meanwhile, with a clearer head than Asha, Severus' mind had turned to darker things. If there was ever going to be a time to ask her, this felt like it. He could sense it was not a pleasant story, and he didn't want to stoke her pain. Still, he had a strong want to understand her. All of her. And he didn't want her to be alone in her torment. He knew all too well what that was like.
"Will you tell me how Albus found you in the end?" he finally asked.
For Asha, the memory was like a physical blow. Her content mood plummeted and her body tensed up.
Severus glanced over and read the flash of discomfort in her expression. She covered it as quickly as it had appeared.
Asha had been wondering for a while whether she would tell Severus this story if he asked. Their friendship was a strange, delicate yet solid thing. Though, friendship wasn't the right word for it. In someways, they weren't as close as friends, but in other ways, they were much closer. Which side of the spectrum did their relationship lie on when it came to this story? Asha took a sip of gin and pursed her lips. She already knew the answer.
Severus was convinced he had lost her, when she said, "Do you remember my Boggart?" Her tone had a tightness to it.
"That's not something one simply forgets," he replied. He recalled the mass of charred human remains like it was yesterday. At the time, Asha had been unaffected and confused. Though the sight was horrifying, she hadn't been able to remember what it was about that pile of gore and scraps of blue fabric that made it her greatest fear.
Asha didn't talk again for a full minute. Severus watched the gentle wind blow fine wisps of hair across her face. Finally, she spoke in a tone that was clinical and detached.
"I killed a man." Her words rang out. Then she breathed to herself, barely audible, "A good man."
If Severus was shocked, he didn't show it. But he slowly straightened up, his full attention on her.
Asha fidgeted with her hands, not even sure where to start. "It's a long story," she said, her voice unlike her own.
"I figured it would be," Severus said softly. She was avoiding looking at him.
"Okay," she sighed after a long pause. "Well, a bit of background then: around the time I turned sixteen, the work my group did started to evolve. Our... business pursuits got more ambitious. Our distribution team started getting involved with the big guys. A few months later, there were disagreements and... 'changes in management'. Crash and I decided that in the chaos of it all, we had a chance to steal a batch. A big one."
Asha bit her lip and shook her head.
"It wasn't like we needed the money," she explained grimly. "Everyone else in our crew was content living as we were. But I was stupid; always trying to push boundaries; always trying to run from peace and mundanity. And so I convinced Crash that with my powers, it would be an easy heist."
Asha clenched her jaw, fighting back the familiar rush of self-directed anger. Putting down her glass she held the railing tight with both hands. She didn't know why she was putting herself through this, explaining to Severus one of the worse days of her life. But she soldiered on.
Staring determinedly at her hands, she told him about the terrible string of coincidences that happened that night, all of which led to her being handcuffed helplessly to a pipe while Crash was trapped in the basement on the other side of the warehouse with a dozen automatic weapons pointed at his legs. Legs, not head. The Mob wanted information.
"The officer standing guard over me wouldn't listen," Asha growled. "He was treating me like some kind of manic, jacked-up junkie, even after we heard the first shot and Crash's screaming."
She swallowed hard, crushing the lump in her throat.
"The officer insisted on waiting for backup. Which was fine, he was only a rookie, no older than twenty-five. But he wouldn't let me go. I could've ended it if he'd just let me go." As she said this, she made a frustrated gesture with her hand. Her arm hit her glass and it toppled over the balcony. There was a splash and thud as it hit the tilled earth several meters below them. Neither she nor Severus made any effort to amend this.
Asha's heart was racing, like she was back there in the cold, damp room, begging to go and save the boy she loved. She hadn't intended to go into such detail.
Afraid of the reaction his words might evoke, Severus spoke very carefully. "Could you not open the cuffs yourself?"
"I tried," she said, her voice stark and hard. "But something about the way I learned the magic is intrinsically linked to my emotions. Albus tried to explain it to me once."
This didn't come as a surprise to Severus. The accidental magic of children often arose from circumstances of elevated emotion. Though nothing about Asha Winters was ever as expected.
"I was so panicked, so angry, so scared," she explained. "I couldn't focus. I couldn't get the cuffs undone. And then I resorted to pleading with the officer. After the first shot sounded I was screaming at him. Then there was the second. And a third. And then..." she faltered and met Severus' unwavering eyes. "And then I don't know what happened."
His face flickered with understanding but he remained perfectly still, waiting for her to close the loop.
"I just remember the most intense surge of energy I have ever felt. It seared through me, like it was too big to fit inside me. And it burst out of my palms. My wrists were cuffed to the pipe behind me and there was this blazing pain up my back. It was this... impossible heat."
Inside, Asha was cringing away from the horrendous memory. She saw it enough in her nightmares and usually did her utmost to avoid reliving it when she was conscious. But she had committed now.
"Next thing I knew, the warehouse exploded around me. Everything was on fire. The roof and walls were collapsing in every direction. But for me, the world had gone silent. As if I was safely in the eye of some monstrous, fire-breathing hurricane. And then the energy drained from my body and everything went dark, the fire gone. Like someone had flicked a switch and the lights went out. I think that must've been when I passed out.
"Albus said that within minutes it was all over Muggle breaking news broadcasts. Gas explosion, they were saying. But Albus said he knew at once, he had found Wyetta's missing child. He apparated to New Zealand and dug me out from the rubble before any Muggles uncovered my unconscious body.
"I vaguely remember him working on my back and the intense pain finally fading. Once the pain was gone there was room in my head to remember Crash. I guess even in my delusional state I was able to get enough information across to Albus for him to go back and recover Crash too. The mobsters had fled at the explosion and left him to bleed out on the basement floor."
Asha let out a heavy, shaking breath and closed her eyes. Everything that had happened that night was her fault. And good man, a New Zealand Officer, had paid her price. It was only thanks to Dumbledore that she hadn't been responsible for a second death that night. For that, she owed him a lot. Everything. Thanks to Dumbledore, Crash lived on, oblivious to his trauma. But also oblivious to what he'd ever had with Asha.
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A/N: im so proud of my hip flask line heheh (did anyone notice that?) aren't i a clever young lady /s. may i pls have a highfive tho
ps i know 'lmao' is a bit of a millennial thing (ew but i very much don't enjoy these generation wars can we pls stop - fellow genZers stand down! 💂♂️ [😱😱 i just realised emojis have they/thems now that's awesome {oooh it's because my poor wee no-longer-able-to-update iphone 6 doesn't have them 😦}]) but...
i wanted to do a bit of a poll: when you read lmao do you read it as 'L.M.A.O' or 'lahmoaw'?
Because I only started using lmao because i liked the sound of lahmoaw 😂
Last thing - the next chapter's already written so for once you won't have to wait long for the next update!