1- Jamie
For dinner, I decide to make pie with LJ. Not that he really helps me. Most of the time, he sits in the living room and watches me through the door. I offer to put on the tv for him but he can't seem to find an interesting channel. Watching me fail at making pie is more interesting to watch than Teen Titans Go apparently.
I'm honestly confused about him putting on Cartoon Network. When he turned on the tv and flipped to that station, I wanted to question him but decided not to. I didn't know him that well despite him beginning to appear more in my life. But, even though I don't really know him, it sure isn't stopping me from making him a pie after he asked me to.
"You know, you didn't have to." He says.
I look up at him, rubbing the back of my hand across my face to avoid getting flour in my hair. He's finally looking away from me and focusing on the tv.
"What was that?" I ask, raising my voice so he can hear me over Beast Boy and Raven.
"You don't have to make a pie. I was just joking and I didn't think you'd take me seriously. Plus," He stops suddenly. "Never mind."
I raise my eyebrows, leaning back against the counter. The smell of the flour was making me want to throw up. Pregnancy is supposed to be a beautiful thing but all I've been able to do is throw up, sleep and have cravings.
"Just say what you were going to say." I tell him, smiling to let him know I wasn't being rude.
He looks back at me. "I think you're making it wrong."
We stare at each other in silence for a few moments before I start laughing. It starts off slow but it builds up until I'm laughing so hard I have to hold onto the counter to keep standing.
"You know what, I think you're right." I put my hands to my forehead. "Oh, Zalgo, I've made a mess of the kitchen."
He laughs softly with me and I can tell he has no idea why I'm laughing. LJ then stands and walks into the kitchen. When he does, I realize how tall he is and how creepy he looks. I'm glad I'd never be his victim. He comes to stand beside me.
"But thank you for trying," he says awkwardly.
I nod. On the night after meeting Jeff, I had read his story. Both of them. The popular story where he was first introduced and his origin. Out of all of them, his had held my attention the most. I don't know why but something about him and what happened to him stayed with me. Maybe it's because his was so different. He doesn't kill because he wanted to or to get revenge on what had been done to him; he kills because he thought he was playing a game. I think that scares me the most.
"So, Jamie," he says, now looking like he felt extremely awkward. "I have a question." I nod to confirm that he can continue. "Are you sad about your mother's death?"
Inside me, something unplugs and it feels as if all my energy goes down the drain. LJ must notice this because he stands straighter, watching me carefully.
"Yes, I am." I say softly. "I miss her so much. I'm just trying not to let it get to me so I won't harm the baby." I place my hands gently on my small bump. "But, I would give almost anything to have her back. My mother meant the world to me."
My response confuses him. The whole time, LJ stays quiet, watching me intently. I know why he questioned so I don't bother asking why he wanted to know. Slender probably put him up to it.
"How can you be sad? It's just a game. Right? That's what this all is? Just a game."
I don't show the anger and sadness his words cause me. There's no way I'd be able to explain something like this to him. His state of mind and his ability to explain and understand things were mixed up because of his owner, back when he was a Laughing Jack-in-the-box. So, I chose an answer he'll understand.
"Sometimes, the games we play hurt other people. Not all games end well. The game that Gabriel played with my mom hurt me. A lot."
He nods. I desperately want to move away from this subject because I can a lump forming in my throat, making it harder to breathe. The ruined pie catches my eye and I return the conservation back to what it had been about before.
"How about this," I say quickly, pushing off the counter. "We go to a store and buy a pie and say I cooked it. Sound like a plan?"
He shrugs. "Yeah, sure. I don't-"
"Think you should go? Yeah, me neither. Actually, I think you should go back to the mansion and let me take over from here."
LJ and I both look to the back door. Jeff stands in the doorway, glaring at us. His hand is in his jacket pocket, where I know he keeps his knife. I feel LJ tense up behind me, probably noticing Jeff with his hand in his pocket, and I hold out a hand to both of them.
"Boys, boys, please," They both look at me. Realize I'm right in the middle. "Let's not. We haven't even had dinner. Jeff, what are you doing here?"
Jeff moves closer to me but I keep my hands up and keep stops advancing. "I came because I heard he would be sleeping here tonight. Is that true?"
I look from Jeff to LJ then back to Jeff. He looks down at me and his arms twitch slightly at his sides, indicating he probably wanted to wreak them around me. For a second, that's what I want him to do. Just take me in his arms and let me forget about the outside world for a few seconds while I enjoy feeling safe for once. In his arms, I always feel safe.
Shaking my head I take a step back from him. Being near him is dangerous. With my hormones all over the place, I might do something I'd regret.
"Jeff, they offered me some sort of protection. I had to take it. The baby isn't safe here. Jane could come at any moment." I explain calmly.
"Then come back with me! The mansion is the only safe place for people like us. I swear, if you come back, I'll stay away. I won't bother you until after you have the baby. Just come back. It's stupid for you to stay here." He responds.
"Yeah, you'll stay away, but what about everyone else? All the other dangers at the mansion are still very real. I'm not going to put my child's life at risk because you want me at the mansion. I will not do that, Jeff." I scream, starting to get mad.
"Well, you're being selfish! Did you ever think I might want to spend time with you and the baby?"
"Oh, please," I cut in. "You don't really care. The only reason you're fighting so hard for me and the baby is because you think you have to. Jeff, you don't have a heart. You don't really care. I'm a lot of things but a stupid little girl who believes everything a guy tell her is not one of them anymore. I've changed. Now, you can just stop with that righteous thinking of yours that I need you in my life to raise this baby. My mom did it alone and so can I."
He stays quiet for a while before saying, "You really think that? That I don't love you?" My heart aches at the sound of his voice. He sounds broken, hurt. I wish I could take everything I said back. "Jamie, you don't know how wrong you are. I do love you. I know that now. I love you as much as my dead heart can love. I just don't know how to prove to you that I do. Jamie, I'm trying so hard. Please, just let me help you. I'll be the first to admit I have no idea what to do with a baby and I never wanted one, but now that you're pregnant, I'm willing to try being a father as long as you'll let me."
I cover my mouth with my hands. Jeff looks at me, almost hopeful. I don't want to forgive him so easily. Despite, a larger part of me wants to throw myself into his arms and be with him.
"Jeff," I whisper. "I'm sorry, but I can't go back to the mansion. I can't. The baby is more important than anything both of us want. But, you can stay here-"
"You know I can't do that, Jamie," he says, cutting me off. "Here I'd be too dangerous. Plus, Jane would definitely attack if we're both here. We have to go back to the mansion."
"I can't do that either, Jeff! Don't you understand?" I exclaim.
"Can't or won't? There's a difference, Jamie." Jeff says instead of an actual response.
"I can't, Jeff! I would but this baby is my priority. Why can't you understand that?" I say, frustrated. How did we back to fighting again? This is getting ridiculous.
"Jeff," LJ says quietly, the first time he's spoken since Jeff got here. "I think you should respect what Jamie wants. You two both want different things. If you won't come here and she won't go over there, I think you two should agree on something. Like him sleeping over at night and you spending a few days out of the week at the mansion."
I nod in agreement. "Jeff, we can do that."
He doesn't look at me; he's too busy glaring at LJ. "Stay out of this." He growls.
"Jeff, he brought up a good point. Why are you biting his head off for nothing? He's trying to help us." I reprimand him.
"So now you're siding with him?" He accuses jabbing a finger in LJ's direction.
"What is wrong with you?" I ask incredulously, embarrassed by his behavior. "Why are you acting like this?"
"Acting like what?" He yells.
"Like a fucking idiot!" I scream back at him. "He's just trying to help your sorry ass and then you go and treat him like that."
LJ steps and tries to grab my arm. "Jamie, stop, you two shouldn't-"
"Don't touch her or I'll kick your ass," Jeff threatens, coming forward and pushing LJ in the chest. "You should just leave!"
I move protectively in front of LJ. "You should just leave!" I say back at him.
A look of pain and surprise crosses his face for a second but Jeff was always a master at hiding his emotions and it was gone within the next second. I take in a deep breath, a little fearful of what might come next. More screaming and threats for sure.
"Fine," he snaps, turning away from us. "Fine! You want to do this on your own, with their help instead of mine, you go ahead and do that. I'll leave you alone like you've always wanted me to."
Jeff walks to the door and throws it open. I rush after him, calling his name but he takes off at a sprint. LJ follows right after me, sticking close to my side. If I wasn't pregnant, I would have been able to catch up with him no problem. But the baby doesn't like the exertion. Black spots flash across my vision and I stop running out of fear I'd pass out. LJ pushes me towards a tree and I lean against it, trying to catch my breath.
"Do you want me to go get him?" He asks, looking ready to take off.
"No," I wheeze. "Let him. I'll talk to him later. If you go, he'll try to attack you."
He nods in agreement. "You know he's gonna get back into the liquor cabinet after this, right?"
I bow my head in shame. "Yeah, I know he is."
"Come on," he says, draping my arm over his shoulder. LJ has to stoop to stand near my height, that's how tall he is. "Let's get back inside and make that pie."
I laugh softly and let him lead me back into the house, where we clean up the mess in silence. He follows me as I get in the car to find a pie store.
"We really don't have to," LJ reminds me again. "I was just joking."
"I know," I smile and move over to the passenger seat, letting him drive. He slides in beside me and starts the car. "But now I'm craving pie."
He grins, showing pointy teeth and pulls out of the driveway. As we go driving through the neighborhood, I try to take my thoughts away from Jeff and hope that he won't do anything stupid.
1- Jeff
The second I get to the mansion, I break into the liquor cabinet. I feel a little guilty doing so, since I did promise Jamie after she got back that I wouldn't drink, but this is a special occasion. Well, not really. I just really need a drink.
Wanting to be rid of my thoughts, I grab two extra bottles more than what I need and carry them up to my room. I start on the first one in silence, tipping the bottle back and letting the fiery liquid burn it's way down my throat. The taste of liquor always reminded me of the potions we have here at the mansion and the person who made them. Or, more accurately, came up with the formula that allowed us to make his potions.
Falin.
His name is like a curse in the mansion. No one ever brought him up, especially not around me, which is a good thing. Thinking about him always brings out the worst in me and it reminds me too much of what I did to him all those years ago. His blood on my knife, the fear in his eyes, his whispered last words that I didn't hear, his broken body lying limp in my arms as I pleaded and begged for him not to die and to forgive me.
My throat closes up. He is the reason I am still alive. Falin was the one who first made the charms that allow us to go out in the real world; he was the one who built the trees and the mansion for us; he was the one that saved me from Jane the first time I saw her after I ruined her; and he was the one that saved my eyesight with these weird contacts he made that allowed me to sleep and my eyes to function like normal eyes. He was the one that built Jamie's scythe. It was supposed to be his but he died before he could use it. Died at my hands.
I cover my eyes with my hands, not wanting to see anything. Before I even realize what's going on, I've finished two bottles and my buzz has turned to me being full on drunk. My mind can't process things the same way. Objects blur in and out of shape, coming closer and doubling. Suddenly, everything pisses me off and I need to kill. I stand and walk out the door after grabbing my knife.
At this point, I don't even remember what had pissed me off in the first place nor the reason why I drank two bottle instead of one like I usually would have done.
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Alright ya shanks. I'm just here to tell you guys that I have a notification book and I recommend you do read that because it will be important. I promise.