Feng Meizuo
It wasn't expected of me to have her know about my crush on her. The way she smiled, her kindness, her personality had a magnifying pull for me to want to become closer to her. She has a loving personality. The way she viewed things I could tell she has patience, devotion, and compassion. My emotions for her intensified for her the first night she arrived. I couldn't quite grasp how I haven't met a girl like her before.
It concerned me when I saw her for the first time in tears and I wanted to take any suffering she was feeling. I never felt that way before until now. She wasn't like the other girls I would take on dates or go to the bars with. It concerned me personally, because Ximen told me specially that we could not date her. Seeing the pain her eyes wanted me to pull her close to me. I wanted nothing more to tell her I liked her and I could be the person she can trust.
It was Jing who I spoke with earlier and I found out Lei was backing out of his feelings for Faye. He was denying his thoughts and feelings for her, because he was being stubborn with his love for her. She knows Lei will eventually realize what he has done. Jing had already called me out on my feelings towards Faye in private. I told Jing I couldn't pursue Faye and she asked me to make Faye happy if it were possible. I knew Jing was only trying to help the situation, but I wasn't sure how Faye would feel about this. Ximen would only do something he would regret if he ever found out about any of this.
It wasn't meant for Faye to ever find out I liked her. I on the other hand am interested in her, but I wasn't sure how it would work. I haven't talked to Faye about it either or how she is feeling now that she knows. We walked down the board walking making distance between the rented house and us. She still held my hand in silence as I pulled her further away from our current situation. She has been silent the entire time we left the house. It wasn't until I felt satisfied with the distance we were in that I slowly came to a stop and I looked towards the beach trying to figure out how I was going to explain this to Ximen's best friend. She must be confused and curious.
She continued to hold my hand as she slowly leaned against the railing and faced me. I noticed she looked unsure, but there wasn't much sign of stress. She looked down at our hands before hesitantly letting go. She was waiting for me to say something. How can I possibly explain this to her? She likes Lei. He is her type.
"Faye," I let out a sigh and knew I had to be careful of my words. She's sensitive. "I hope this doesn't weird you out too much." My tone sounded concerned for her and she smiled faintly before shaking her head.
"Is... it true?" She asked. I nod and I folded my arms as I stood in front of her.
"I do like you. Though, Lei was right when he said Ximen wouldn't settle well with the idea of any of us dating you. He specifically told us you were off limits when you arrived."
"It probably has to do with my traumatizing history with Daoming Si," she spoke quietly now. I frowned wondering what happened. "He never liked me from a very young age," she answers my questionable expression. "I'm not sure what he has against me, but Ximen first introduced me to him, because he first wanted to introduce me to each of you individually. When I was younger, I was always made fun of for how I talked. I had a childhood-onset fluency disorder from a really young age. Ximen was the first person who gave me a chance."
I noticed this wasn't something she talked to anyone about. I'm sure this was hard for her to share this information all at once.
"At first when I met Ximen, I thought he would immediately make fun of me like the other kids would. Instead, he offered a coloring book to me so we colored together." Faye smiled at the memory and I smiled thinking of a very young Faye and Ximen together. "He told me I would be his best friend from that day on."
"How old were you when you met?" I asked curiously.
"We were five years old. He really helped me through my phase of the disorder I had. It didn't quite go away though until I left Shanghai." I nod thinking I was asking a lot of her to share something very personal to her. Of course I will eventually ask about her history with Ah Si, but now did not seem the time. We now have the situation that she knows I like her. I focus the conversations back on us.
"I know you like Lei and... with everything going on you finding out my liking towards you... I'm sorry you found out like that. You clearly wouldn't have feelings for me."
"I don't think I do," she answered, feeling a bit unsure. "My crush for Lei has been going on since our first year of senior high school." Another story I have yet to ask her about.
"You knew Lei back when we were in senior high school?"
"He was my stand partner in the orchestra and I was in his class, because we were both pursuing music. At the time I had no idea Lei was Ximen's friend. I only knew of Daoming Si." It makes complete sense now, but how could Lei not recognize Faye if they sat together everyday for a year? Faye seemed to be reading my mind.
"I looked quite different back then. I've changed my hair style completely since then and I no longer wear my glasses," she smiled sheepishly. "He wouldn't remember me, because we never talked to each other." I laughed more to myself at this.
"He never talked to you once and he was your stand partner?"
"I was a really shy person and he never... spoke to me. He was always so focused on the music and I understood since he was first chair. I know it's silly to have a crush on someone I never talked to..." she said slowly.
"How about..." I paused for a moment wondering if this was a good idea. "What if we try dating?" A look of uncertainty appeared in her expression.
"Meizuo..." She hesitates. "I think of you as a brother like I do Ximen. You said so yourself Ximen wouldn't be happy about the idea and I don't want to cause any trouble." I shook my head and took a step towards her.
"We won't tell Ximen for now. If anything this could show Lei that he can no longer have an affect on you. I would like to get to know you more personally Faye. Even if I know this may not work and somehow you end up with Lei, I'm okay with what you're comfortable with."
"B-But that's using you and what if Ximen found out?"
"We're not announcing our love for each other Faye," I smiled sheepishly. "I want to give you happiness in any way possible and want to show you what it's like to have a boyfriend. That's if you'll allow me to of course. As for Ximen, we'll make sure he doesn't find out unless we get to the point there is the possibility of our relationship being serious." She does not seem convinced. "Will you give me a chance Faye?" I asked nervously.
"What about yours and Ximen's nights out with girls?"
"I wouldn't talk to another girl while seeing you Faye. You will have my full attention if you allow me." It seemed she was thinking for a moment before she made eye contact with me before smiling nervously.
"I'll give us a try."
Faye Calinao
Meizuo broke into the biggest smile I've seen him since we came here. He took a step towards me to close the gap between us and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I allowed myself to wrap my arms as well and leaned my head against his chest. I felt safe in Meizuo's arms. He squeezed me slightly and I closed my eyes for a moment to let this sink in. It was my stomach grumbling that made Meizuo pull away and he looked down making eye contact with me and let out a light chuckle.
"You're hungry," Meizuo spoke. "Let's eat." He gently took the bag from me to place it on the flat surface of the railing. I turned around as he placed my container in front of me and handed over my utensil. I thanked him before opening the lid and my mouth waters at the smell poofing out of the container and the sight of the delicious noodles appeared into sight.
"Thank you Meizuo," I said happily as I inhaled the smell for a moment before digging in.
"You're welcome," I heard him say and we ate our brunch as we enjoyed the view of the beach in front of us. The sun was shining directly above and there was a gentle breeze that blew through my hair. We enjoyed our food in silence. I would squint once in a while to look up to the sky to see the birds flying from above.
Once we finished eating, Meizuo took out containers and threw them in a nearby trash. He came back to me and held out his hand to take. I took his hand feeling calm. He led us onto the beach where we took our shoes off and walked onto the sand towards the water.
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Happy New Year!!🎊🎈
Hope everyone had a fun a safe celebration with loved ones. I spent the evening tuning, taking time with my cello; who I named Lei 🥰 and I also spent the time playing with the Nintendo Switch on the television with my siblings.
Next update: Wednesday