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(n.) a hiding place;
a place of safety
and comfort
THE STARS WERE THE BEST AT KEEPING EVEN THE DARKEST OF SECRETS. It was one of the many reasons why Louis hid away atop the Astronomy Tower most nights when classes weren't in session. He had been given a pass from the professor that allowed him up there after curfew to use for extra study time. And while he had used it for that, however, he had used it for other purposes, as well.
The Astronomy Tower was a place of solace for Louis, a haven that somehow kept him safer than the confines of the library, despite the lack of walls that would have surrounded him. It was the place he had been the most at peace with himself and all the goings-on around him, with nothing but a blanket of an elusive, inky night sky full of stars to keep him company. Throughout the years, he'd whispered secrets that he couldn't quite bear to pen into the ancient pages of his journal so he told the stars about them, knowing they were trustworthy as they had never let him down before.
Now, he was opening up a part of himself and sharing that sacred space with someone who could so easily taint it as soon as they step foot into the hiding spot if they so wished but with the tired, ragged look that colored Draco's face, Louis let that minuscule fear slip into the recesses of his mind, laying it to rest before it had a chance to fester and make a monster of itself, a creation of false pretenses.
An hour after their little talk in the library and a little more back and forth to convince Draco, midnight was on the horizon and the two of them stood at the top of the Astronomy Tower, the stars as bright as ever and Draco standing a little closer to the door than Louis was hoping for. Louis turned and looked up at the twilight sky, releasing the tension that resided in his shoulders as he let out a sigh of content, feeling the crisp air roll over him.
"I like to use this as my little place to get away from it all," Louis spoke, his face still in the stars all the while smiling to himself, "my latibule if you will."
"Your what?" asked Draco, wondering if he had heard him correctly.
"Latibule," Louis repeated, turning back around to look at Draco, "'a hiding place, a place of safety and comfort'. You get to be whoever you want to be up here. It's just you, me, and the stars."
"Where'd you even learn a word like that?"
Louis shrugged, smiling a little. "Just one of my little hobbies, I guess, learning words uncommon. They make for quite the interesting entry titles, you know."
Draco nodded silently and that was when Louis noticed something different about him. There he stood, drenched in the moon's beams, his posture a little less relaxed and a little tenser than usual, the light reflecting something almost. . .vulnerable within him, a certain softness that's come on only after being hardened by the elements for some time. He had been worn down by something that had been gnawing at him for gods know how long.
"What brought you here, Draco?" Louis asked, splintering the building silence and taking a cautious step forward, toward the teen god, the adolescent Icarus, the juvenile deity. "What brought you to me? I mean, our paths had never crossed, until this year, surprisingly, so it does make me rather curious as to how the high and mighty Draco Malfoy came to someone as meek as I. And I know I said that you could come to talk to me anytime, I just didn't think you'd ever take me up on the offer."
"I. . ." Draco started then trailed, failing to be able to pull and string along any sort of dialect together that was next to come out of his mouth, not really sure how to phrase his request. He knew why he was here, however, he just didn't know how to ask, that shattered pride pricking at him, forcing him to hold his tongue. "You know what? Forget it. I don't even know why I bothered to ask." He turned to leave but Louis was swift to catch him by his elbow, his fingers gently wrapping around the crook to try and stop Draco from going.
It was sort of a rather intimate touch, a careful grasp left by someone with good, oftentimes romantic (but Draco tried not to read too much into that, reprimanding himself for even jumping to that sort of conclusion), intentions, someone who promised safety whenever one was in their presence. A dragon was breathing at the base of Draco's neck as it was beginning to flare up at the action, sticking him to his spot with how strange he was feeling.
"Draco, wait," Louis said, remembering what Lupin had said to him, "you're okay. I said you could talk to me and I want you to please know that I meant it. You're okay. Truly." His grip tightened a little in hopes that it would convince him to stay, just the tiniest hint of a squeeze as if testing to see if Draco were real and not a figment of his imagination.
Draco finally sighed and turned around, slowly tugging himself out of Louis's grip, the ghost of his touch still lingering, and he was almost blinded by the earnestness in Louis's eyes. That was the moment when he truly understood the irony that was talking to the one person that had unknowingly gone out of their way to cause all of this inner turmoil but Louis was the only person who was willing to understand and listen. So Draco swallowed whatever was left of his shattered pride before speaking, shards cutting into his throat and exposing more of himself to that vulnerability.
"There's," he started, really trying his best not to flee and feeling rather ridiculous for it, "there's this one person that I can't seem to get my mind off of and it honest to Merlin scares the hell out of me. The number of times he's— " he cut himself off in horror at what slipped out, that one, single pronoun that kept the anonymity. He then took a look at Louis, whose eyes were wide with wonderment, encouraging him to go on. Licking his lips in nervousness, Draco continued. "The amount of times he's shown up in my sleep is. . .a lot. And I don't even know why."
Louis took a moment to pause before speaking. "I just want you to know that whatever it is you're feeling is completely valid, allowed to be felt, and deserved to be explored. I know that thinking something like this probably makes you want to crawl out of your skin because you were told that liking someone the same as your own was 'weird', to put it lightly."
"They'd leave the earth with nothing left to give," Draco muttered.
Louis nodded solemnly, a little hurt to have heard that leaving Draco's mouth but he hadn't expected anything less from the boy whose blood ran silver with pride. "Exactly, unfortunately. That logic is what's got you feeling like this right now. Liking someone the same as I would have your arse handed to you in some places. But not here. Especially not here."
Draco's head snapped up at that last part, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Someone the same as you?"
Louis nodded again, softer this time, some of the light dissipating from his eyes. "No one here really knows, except for my mum, who loves me regardless. Which is okay because no one has the right to know. It's you and only you." He then walked over to the edge of the tower and sat down, tilting his head back to see the stars once more. "The stars are great secret keepers, you know? You can tell them anything your innermost heart desires and they wouldn't dare utter a word."
Draco slowly made a move to come over and sit beside him and look up, as well, seeing the daunting number of fairy lights that glittered in the night, letting out a lonesome sigh at it all. "There's quite a lot of them up there. How can you be so sure that one of them won't slip up and tell?"
"Your secret is safe with them. That, I can promise you."
Draco ducked his head, shaking it before looking up again. "I don't trust them. There're too many."
"Then trust me," Louis offered.
"That's worse."
"And why's that?"
Draco turned his head to look at Louis, the light in his eyes dim. "Because there's only one of you."
That's worse. . .there's only one of you.
This was the phrase that occupied Louis's thoughts as he slept away the remainder of the late morning. He had tried deciphering the wording, wondering what Draco had meant by that. Wouldn't that be better to trust only one person? A confidant you could lend your soul to and entrust that it wouldn't be torn at the seams. Trusting too many people would lead to more chances of one's secrets being spilled as though it were ink on a sheet of parchment paper. With the one person you trusted, that secret would be with and die with them.
Later that same day, Louis was bombarded by Professor Slughorn as he was leaving the Great Hall, half-awake and a little groggy because he had only gotten six hours of sleep before he had to get up. It was nearing the tail end of breakfast and Louis was close to the entryway and on his way to the library when he knocked into the new Potions professor. Louis hadn't run into him much, as he had chosen Astronomy as his N.E.W.T level, so it was a surprise to see Professor Slughorn approaching him in such a jovial manner.
"Louis, m'boy!" Slughorn greeted him and Louis raised a curious brow, wondering how the man had managed to get a hold of his name.
"Hello, Professor," Louis returned the greeting nonetheless, still wondering about the sudden interaction, "what can I do for you, sir?"
"I was just told about your exquisite taste in odd vocabulary and it made me want to know if you wanted to the join club for a little party in a few weeks?"
"The. . .club? I don't quite get what you mean, sir."
"Luna stopped by for a chat and she had brought you up for a short moment and told me all about you." Professor Slughorn gave Louis a wide smile.
Louis raised a brow at the sound of the moon girl's name. "Luna, huh? Well, I guess it's only right that I go."
"That's the spirit! See you then, son." And then Professor Slughorn was on his merry way, a visible pep in his step as he walked away.
Soon after that conversation was over, Louis was well on his way to the library, the thought from what remained of the twilight still sticking to his thoughts.
There's only one of you.