"Look who's here," Helena announces when she hears David enter the house.
I lift my head from the counter and drop the cloth from my forehead. She takes the cooled thing from me then peers into the hallway. "We are in here," she calls to him.
I bite my lip and dread the second he appears in the archway. I don't know what he's thinking after last night, and if Helena weren't here cooking me dinner, I would be safe in my bedroom. I'm sure the last thing he wants is to come home after a long day just to hear about my headache. How could my head hurt? All I've done is wake up and listen to Jeremy talk.
Helena comes back in with David just behind her. She points to me and says, "Brigette isn't feeling well, aren't you? It's her head."
If I could, I would jump into the pit that's forming in my gut.
"Oh, it's actually not so bad anymore," I lie and struggle to look at him. "I'm sure I'll be just fine. Nothing to worry about."
"She's been lying there for thirty minutes," Helena tells him. "I told her to rest but she's too hungry to sleep."
My mouth opens but David speaks first, asking, "Is that right?"
"Stubborn one, this one. Why doesn't she sleep well? Look at her, she's exhausted."
David comes around the counter as I say, "You know, Helena, it might be genetic. I have a family of terrible sleepers; paralysis, apnea, insomnia, sleepwalking—the whole nine yards."
"Where does it hurt?" David asks as he stands behind me.
I turn in my seat and peer up at him. "I'm fine, really."
"Well, I best be going. Everything is ready, so please help yourselves. For once nothing is going in the fridge," Helena ponders as she prepares to leave. David walks her out, and while I'm alone in the room, I look over the meal she's made.
When he comes back, we serve ourselves and sit in the dining room, and once again I'm under the pretty chandelier. My eyes are down this time, consumed by my plate.
"So you canceled my self-defense lesson."
David nods. "I did. I moved it to next week, after Alpha Nicodra's visit."
"Why?" I ask. "I was fine to do it today."
"After last night, I thought you would want some extra time to rest."
I sit back in my seat and set my fork down. "About last night, you know, I was just sleep-deprived, that's all. I slept, so don't worry about me needing extra time."
David sets down his utensils as well, but just before he speaks, I say, "We don't have to talk about it. We can just pretend like it never happened."
"I don't agree," he says, his elbows on the table and hands clasped together. My gaze lingers on his hands. "I need you to explain to me why you need to distance yourself, why you don't want a mate."
My shoulders drop. "And if I can't?"
"If you can't provide a plausible reason, then I think we have some things to work on."
I smile a little to myself, a sad little smile. "A plausible reason, huh?" I take a breath and look to the side. "You're a good man, David, really. I see why you're an Alpha now.
"You're good at these things. Obviously neither of us have had a mate before, but you seem to have experience with this," I ramble. "And I feel bad. I feel this overwhelming want for you to be happy, but all I do is waste your time. I screwed you over, or hey, maybe the goddess did. Either way, you're the victim here."
"Brigette—"
"But I was screwed over too—by her. I had my plans. I knew what I was going to do, and how I was going to live my life, and that's all impossible now. So no, I can't give a good reason as to why I am the way I am. There might be one that I'm not aware of yet, but this wasn't supposed to be my life. I don't know how to handle any of this; I never wanted to have to handle this."
"How about we start with your lack of proper sleep," he suggests. "Because I'm sure everything is much harder when you're exhausted."
I watch him closely. "I-I don't—I sleep alone, David. I always have and—"
"You always will?"
"Yes. Believe me when I say it isn't just you, it's anyone. I would behave the same if my mate were anyone else."
"And with all your plans and restrictions aside, what do you want?"
I shake my head. "You know you don't have to ask. You know. Despite other's disbelief, I do feel the bond."
My eyes fall again as my body grows warm. It feels as if a spotlight has been aimed down at me, but the last thing I want is to fess up under his steady gaze. I take a breath and push my seat back.
"I know this is difficult," he says before I stand, "but you don't have to sacrifice everything you wanted. If you want to visit your family and friends, you can. They are welcome to come here as well. If you want to travel, you can. I am willing to give you freedoms I'm sure others would not."
"I know," I say and hesitate for a moment. "It's just—m-maybe that isn't the main issue anymore. It's not my dreams I'm worried about, it's us."
David's hand forms into a fist on the table. "I want you, Brigette."
"What? You're worried that I'll never let myself want you back? I'm scared because you're all I want, no matter how hard I try to convince myself otherwise."
I stand and step away from the table.
"Brigette don't—"
"Are you happy? You got me to say it. You know now."
I walk out of the room but hear him behind me. "You can't keep running away," he says.
"Really? But I have a tendency to, right?" I reach the steps and turn back to him. My lips part to fire again, but only air escapes.
"Now is not the time to distance yourself," he says. "This is progress."
"Progress? All I feel is embarrassment," I admit breathlessly and rush up the stairs.
Alpha Nicodra arrives with a handful of his men and his Luna. I catch sight of them Saturday morning when Jeremy takes me out to try on dresses. David is with them, and he glances to me in the distance as we head our separate ways.
Without even a hello, Alpha Nicodra unsettles me. His hair is as dark as my own, and he wears a short, carefully trimmed beard. Every one of his features is heavy and dark, and his Luna—frail and brunette—stays by his side as if leashed. Jeremy calls to me to grab my attention. "There's no need to stare," he says, "you will be meeting them tonight."
David and I did not speak at all yesterday. It is the first day since our meeting that we've been silent. When we get to the shop, Jeremy hands me dress after dress to try on, but as I look in the mirror, all I can think about is seeing him tonight. Sure, I see David all the time, but there is a difference between watching someone and actually interacting with them. I want him to talk to me, even if it is just to tell me I am doing something wrong. Maybe I took our talks for granted because I would rather embarrass myself than stand in the background like an extra.
"What about that one? Do you like it?" Jeremy calls through the changing room door.
"It's nice."
"You've said that about all of them. Is there one that's better than nice? You need to pick out two. One for tonight and one for tomorrow night."
"Well, I guess I liked the two black ones," I say and unzip the current dress off of my body.
"How about one black dress and one that's a different color?"
"I can't wear two black dresses?"
"Here," Jeremy says and hands me a hanger over the door. I grab on and pull, revealing a long, red dress that weighs significantly more than the others. "Try that one."
I do as I'm told and comment, "It's a little much."
"What does that mean?"
I open the door to show Jeremy the dress. I motion to it and explain. "It's a bit tight, you know, everywhere."
He scans me up and down. "I think it looks nice. Elegant."
"I'll wear whatever you think is good enough. If you think this is what a Luna wears, then I'll pick this one and the other black one. The longer black one, not the short one."
We take the two dresses and leave for the house. As we exit the shop, a group of three girls passes by. My eyes linger as they talk and laugh their way down the street. They couldn't be much younger than me—at least sixteen. It reminds me of when Lindsey and I would walk around town together at my old pack. Before she found Timothy, we would stay out late and get ice cream from this quaint place that smelled of sweet cream and chocolates. Back home there weren't many exciting places to go as a young girl, but we were happy with our desserts and moonlight strolls.
To do something like that now seems strange. Every day my situation matures me in ways that don't fit ice-cream and gossip. I'm supposed to be a Luna now—mated to an Alpha—and everyone knows that a mated girl is not a girl at all, but a woman.
So I watch these sweet things skip down the street, and I think about the Alpha at home who tells me he wants me.
"Come on, we have to get going," Jeremy says.
"Where are the Alphas?" I ask as we walk.
"Our Alpha is likely showing them to their private accommodations. The Alpha will be busy for the day, so you will not see him until tonight, if that is alright."
I pick up my pace to walk alongside Jeremy instead of two steps behind. "That's fine. Do I hang around until then or—"
"You have four hours to relax. At four o'clock Helena will be coming with some assistance to prepare tonight's dinner. Unlike tomorrow night, tonight will be only you, the Alpha, Alpha Nicodra, and his Luna. You will be wearing the black dress. Tomorrow is the larger dinner party which calls for the more elegant, red dress."
"Okay so—"
"You must be ready at 6:30 when Alpha Nicodra and his Luna arrive. Our Alpha will be back around 5:30. If you like, I can send someone to style your hair and makeup."
"I suppose that would be nice."
Jeremy types something into his phone and says, "Okay, your stylist will arrive at 5:45. Shower before she comes, and do not put on the dress until her work is done."
"Copy," I breathe and speed up again. "Do you have to walk so fast?"
"Remember that tomorrow you have lunch with the Luna. I will be at the house around nine o'clock to make sure everything is on track."
"How do you do all of this?" I ask.
Jeremy glances back at me. "The Alpha has me do what I do for a reason. I'm the best at this, and apparently, you need the best."