Horror felt like an intruder in his own home the moment he stepped foot through the entrance of Lust's bedroom.
It was like crossing a line, breaking a barrier. It was as if the creaking of the door was some sort of break-in alarm and if he lingered just a bit too long then the police would be on his heels. But he had knocked first at least— he had made sure of that. Three curt knocks before he stuck his nose somewhere that screamed he wasn't welcome. Who said criminals didn't have manners?
In the dark room he could just barely make out the tuft of white fur that has perched itself on top of the bed with eyes that were watchful and wary of him. It was a poor excuse of a watchdog as it growled and yipped and huffed at him from it's seat, but made no move to show Horror the bite behind it's bark. Lust, tangled in his covers and sound asleep, had no reaction to the intrudance. Horror tried not to think about how many boundaries he was breaking, wandering into his room in the middle of the night.
He shuffled in as quietly as he was capable of, to surprising success.
Having shed his jacket in the livingroom it was marginally easier to manurve around without rustling, now sporting only his threadbare T-shirt. It was agonzingly quiet. As if the room was possessed by a kind of calm only Lust could bring.
Downstairs, he could hear his brother move about.
Horror rounded the room, making it to the other side of the bed where, next to it, a nightstand sat. It was a small, wooden thing. It's legs were creaky and there were chips and waterstains on the wood. Lust's possessions covered most of its surface, trickets strewn about.
Horror cleared a space on the small, cramped nightstand, swiping pens and charms out of the way. Satisfied with the small area of space he'd freed, he sorted through the bag at his side. Out of it he took the biggest book; it was large and thick and had something to do with physics he believed, but no one could really know without reading it due to its missing cover. It was set down slowly and silently before Horror began to rummage through the bag again. The next biggest book was taken out this time, and it was about the ocean. There was a good chance it was a book meant for children— as anyone could quickly figure out from it's cover. It had a cartoonish illustration of a coral reef on the front of it and a diagram of some type of deep sea fish on the back. But he thought Lust would like it still.
Horror emptied the entire bag that way; slowly removing each book and examining it for quality before he set it atop of the growing stack. He was content to think that Lust would be pleased when he finally woke up to find them.
Right now, it was time for him to go.
Still, without his permission, his traitorous eyes drifted to Lust's sleeping face.
It was the nicest he'd seen Lust's face in a while, so much prettier without the flighty eyes he'd grown used to Lust wearing around him. His face was slack with a small puddle of drool forming beneath his chin. He was as carefree in sleep as he had once been around Horror only weeks ago.
The room was dark and he looked etheral as a bit of pale and weak light slipped in through the curtins. He looked kind and unbothered. Horror just wished it was a look Lust carried with him into the waking world.
Eager to put a damper on Horror's temporaily improved mood, the dog bounced across then bed and settled itself in front of Lust, blocking his face from veiw. A loyal sheriff come to ruin the fun.
A snarl quietly worked its way up Horror's throat, and, as if it believed itself to be a hundred times bigger than it actually was, the dog challenged him with a muted growl of its own. Maybe it was stupid. Maybe it just cared about its owner that much. Stars knew Horror did.
Behind it, Lust moved, halfheartedly brushing fur from his face before resuming his drooling. The snarl died in Horror's throat, and the dog silenticed itself.
Any second now, he would go.
But first Horror took a bit of time to look around the room absindmindedly, even though he couldn't see much.
It was messy, as was customary for a sans. He'd found that out the hard way after nearly tripping on some unidentified object on his way in.
The room had been sparse, borderline bare when Lust first arrived, so how exactly he had managed to produce such a wreck was a mystery far beyond Horror. Perhaps the mess had followed him, trailing at his feet like his obedient dog. Ready to make himself at home anywhere.
He wondered what Lust's room back in Underlust looked like. And how many nightly vistitors passed through it with intentions not nearly innocent as Horror. Disgust combined with another hot, sharp feeling in his chest that spiked as he thought about it. He didn't like the idea.
Soon, he would be leaving.
Although, he needed a minute first. The room smelled like Lust. It wasn't a scent easily decribed, and one Horror honestly hadn't noticed until the current moment. It had crept in through the back door with Lust and settled itself into the house at the same time he did.
Lust smelled like how it felt to be bundled in warm sheets on a cold morning, but also the feeling of when music was played so loud it reverberated in your chest. At least that's would Horror felt best described it. Afterall, how easy was it to truly describe what home smelled like?
In the end, it was a decidedly pleasant one, Horror decided.
Oh right. He needed to be going.
While in his thoughts he had inched himself towards the doorway, although not by any meaningful amount. It was something at least.
He took another step, finally intent on leaving, and, beneath his shoe, something he hoped wasn't too important broke. A curse flew out his mouth.
Sheets ruffled from behind him and Horror froze. Blearily, Lust pushed himself up. "horror?" He asked quietly.
Horror's head snapped towards him like a deer caught in the headlights. In a part of his mind, he reasoned that if he stayed still enough he could be overlooked. Lust hardly looked much awake anyway. Was it an implausible idea? Probably. "go back to sleep lust." He hushed instead.
"'s going on?"
"i just dropped off the books i said i was gonna get ya," Horror slowly lifted his foot and winced as he saw the smashed glass underneath, shattered beyond recognition. Hopefully Lust wouldn't miss it. His voice was gentle and apologetic as he looked back to him. "now sleep."
Lust, in spite of his quiet request, pushed himself up, jostling the dog by his side who let out a yip of complaint. Blinking awake with all the haste of a sunbathing cat, he looked at the pile on his table and then back to Horror, thankfully overlooking or simply not noticing whatever trinket that had been destroyed.
Horror could imagine he was a fearsome sight to see lingering in the corner of the room in the middle of the night. A hulking outline of sharp edges and one illuminating, blood red eye that stared unrelentingly.
Still, Lust didn't seem particularly scared as his mind sluggishly drew the pieces together. He nodded and slumped back down. "thank you."
Horror shrugged. His shoulders bunched into a nervous curve like a bow pulled taut and he felt awkward and uncoordinated as he was unexpectedly put in the spotlight. "i owe it to you." He said.
"really?" Lust asked bluntly as if he wanted to hear Horror suffer through saying it again. Just to be sure. "you do?"
"yeah, bigtime."
Lust laid down and shifted his gaze to a wall- too dark to see clearly, but so much more welcoming to look at. It must be hard to hold eye contact with someone he had been avoiding for the past weeks. It certainly was for Horror.
He didn't want to talk about what happened. But at the same time he almost did, if only for the sake of ripping off the bandaid and allowing things to finally get back to normal. But Lust gave him no time to be conflicted on the matter.
"i looked through that camera." He murmered. The first initiative he had taken to speak to Horror in… how long? "the girl's name was summer."
For a moment, Horror had no clue what he was talking about. When he finally did realize, a irritated sort of guilt washed over him. "oh. i didn't know."
He didn't like giving his food names. Not when it was so much easier to think of them as meals instead of a people. It was weird hearing about the life his dinner had lived before it ended up on his plate
"her name was written on it. there were pictures on the camera. she was hiking with her family i think."
The words came out before Horror could even realizes how cold they were. "i figured. you'd have to be pretty stupid to fall in the underground otherwise."
He'd meant it jokingly, but Lust frowned. "i wonder if they're looking for her."
"most likely." Horror said easily.
"i wonder if any more will fall in."
He hardly regretted what he'd done for the sake of survival. "hopefully."
Lust opened his mouth to say something before holding himself back . And then, several moments later, he tried again. "her body. her meat. Did. . .it go to good homes?"
"it went to homes that desperately needed the food." Horror tapped his chin, thinking of a way to elaborate. "none of it was wasted if that's what you're asking."
Horror was in no place to judge the moral standing of the monsters of Horrortale, not when his own was so deeply fucked. He searched Lust's face in a attempt to figure out how he felt, how he was reacting to the information. A cue to show him he'd said the right thing. But Lust chose to look blankly at the ceiling, eyes tracing faint cracks in the walls instead. "that's nice."
Horror nodded and resigned himself to sit on the edge of the bed. "it's spring now and there will be more humans coming soon." He said to no one in particular.
"i know."
"is that a good thing or a bad thing to you?" He asked.
Lust made a noncommital noise, and said with suprising casualty; "it depends."
"it. . .does." Horror agreed. Perhaps perspective was the main variable. The death of a human was a tragedy, but when taking into consideration all the mouths it would feed, it didn't seem as much. But then again, wolves didn't mourn the death of rabbits.
It was an idea to muse over. An idea he hadn't expected to come from Lust.
Horror thought a bit harder about a new subject to transfer to. "you'll like those new books, i think."
Lust petted the soft hair of the content canine in his lap and cocked his head. "hopefully i won't be around long enough to read them all."
"ouch." Was all Horror had to say.
"i meant because the machine should be complete soon," His tone carried a hint of regret. Or maybe guilt. Horror heard the shuffling of sheets before Lust finally stilled, realizing he hadn't made his previous words appear any kinder. "that was cold," he said almost shamefully. "i didn't mean it."
"it was understandable." Horror admitted, bemused.
"maybe, but kinda shitty too."
Everyone was shitty in their own way at times, Horror most certainly was. And who deserved forgiveness for it more than Lust? "and if murdering someone in front of you isn't, then it's at least justifed."
And Lust snorted. He snorted, and then giggled, and then he laughed. He laughed in small, tired hiccups and it was the most beautful sound Horror had been graced with in weeks.
He relaxed on the edge of the bed, and, for a moment, felt like slightly less of a intruder.
"i'm sorry." He said, and he was infinitely thankful that Lust didn't ask what for. Thankfully he didn' have to make an ass of himself trying to explain why.
"i know." Lust offered easily.
Silence filled the void of unspoken words between then. Not particularly foreign, but warm and heave and welcomed. Because Horror was scared to hear what Lust might say after that. Even more scared that he'd have to be the first to talk.
He fell back, laying chest up on the bed and stared at the empty ceiling. The same one he knew Lust staring at.
"did it upset you?" He asked. 'Did i upset you?' He meant.
Lust didn't speak for a long while. "go to sleep Horror."
It isn't a icy shut down. But rather a warm suggestion. Like an offer to escape.
And something almost like affection lingered on the edge of his tone. Or maybe Horror was tired. Tired and desperate.
"did it?"
A pillow landed on his face, with enough force to startle him. He snorted and threw it back at Lust.
"sleep, horror. now." Lust said, firmer.
Horror decided to drop it. A subject for another time then.
Before all of this, before the long silences and days of avoiding each other like the plague, Lust had taught him an important lesson in taking his time. In making sure one task was done, and done properly, before moving onto the next— not matter how small it was. First make the blueprints before finding the parts. Do his patrol before worrying about scavenging the dump. First this, then that.
He got Lust talking to him again. And he'd revel in this small victory before pushing any further. He didn't need an answer yet, it was hardly necessary right now. Lust could meander around the subject for as long as he liked as far as Horror was concerned.
As Lust shifted yet again and settled into sleep, Horror strengthened his decision. It wasn't his virtue, but he was patient enough. He'd sit and wait for Lust for however long he needed too.
Horror let his eyes finally weigh closed, sleep lapping at the edge of his mind like the returning tide. For all the times Lust endulged his dark mornings, the least he could do was return the favor.