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Mateo stared at her as she laid there. She had yet another panic attack.
He felt guilty. He believed it was his fault that this had happened. She was going through a rough time. The past two months hadn't been easy for her, and though she knew the lay of the lands, this still wasn't her lifestyle. She was a respected orthopedic surgeon who lived a bright and sunny life. She didn't know how to live the life as the baby mama of a feared Capo of the Sicilian Mafia.
And yet, he had been inconsiderate. He took her understanding for granted and failed to recognize the emotions she was battling every day. For that, he felt extremely guilty and he didn't know what he could do to ever make up for it and make her feel safe.
How was he supposed to convince her that she and the twins were safe? He was always dragging them around, sometimes across the country and sometimes across continents. He had to deal with everything once and for all.
Mateo had made Alessia and Adam take the three kids out before he called the doctor. Dr. Regio, the family physician and the most reputed in the country, said that River was physically fine but she was probably bottling up too much of emotions which might have led to this.
And Mateo completely agreed with her, knowing very well that that's what River always did. And he knew that he was an insensitive arse about it as well.
River was so strong that sometimes he forgot that even she had her limits.
A lot happened in the past months. There have been drastic changes in her life, scary revelations and fatal attacks on them. And she was still putting up a strong front.
But he also figured out what was the trigger to her panic attacks. Even the last time, she had a panic attack after the kids were kidnapped. And this time, though she was the one who was poisoned, her biggest fear was what would have happened if one of their twins had the cookies instead of her.
The thing that threw her off her composure and triggered the panic attacks was one thing – Danger on their two babies.
Bless their five-year-old hearts, the kids got over whatever happened as if they were a bad dream – or he could thank the fearlessness they had inherited from both their parents or their inability to comprehend the situation. The two of them saw the good in every situation and were happy. But he was also worried that though they were just five, they were bottling all their fears and emotions up just like their mother. He hoped that was not the case but he couldn't rule out the possibility.
"Hi baby."
Mateo looked over at Susan Johnson and then at River. She was squinting at the ceiling. Mateo heaved a sigh of relief – she was finally waking up.
"Hi Mommy." She purred, voice thick with sleep. All of a sudden, the soft carefree look on her face disappeared, as if she realized she had woken up from her dream. She quickly sat up, at which her nurse friend Jacqueline Meyers hissed out in protest. "I am fine." She mumbled.
"Yeah we saw that." Sebastian Shane was quick to sit next to her, taking her hand in his. Mateo knew that they were like siblings and that Sebastian was happily married but that didn't stop the ugly green monster of jealousy clawing at his heart – he was supposed to be the one sitting next to her with her hand in his.
"I thought we had a lot to say-" He gestured to himself and Jacqueline. "-but now we realize we need to listen to a lot of things you have to say first."
River gave him a look and then turned to Jacqueline. "All I need is an exclusive quality hug from Jacqueline Meyers." She held her arms out. Jacqueline quickly moved forward, embracing her, rocking both of them back and forth.
"See! All better!" She declared, looking at all of them. Her smile flattered when her eyes met Mateo's.
He wondered if she was still mad at him for yelling at her. She probably was.
"Is somebody jealous?" Alison Shane pulled at her husband's cheek that looked like an ugly grumpy kid.
"Awww... Come here." River pulled him by the arms and placed a kiss on his cheek.
Mateo couldn't help but scoff. She couldn't even give him a smile and then she went ahead and was treating this other dude like a baby.
"Okay someone else is jealous." Alison mumbled to Jacqueline, who coughed to hide the laughter that bubbled out of her lips.
Mateo guessed he wasn't supposed to hear it but he heard it anyway.
And he was not jealous!
Why would he be jealous of Sebastian Shane? He should be jealous of Mateo. Because she was his. Sebastian and all other men out there had missed out on such a powerful and unique woman.
"Where are the babies and Nanna?" River asked as she put on her slippers, and she was looking at him. Finally.
"The bambini are with Adam and Alessia. They might have gone down to the beach. Your Nanna decided to cook for you."
"According to her, my cooking doesn't have the rejuvenating power that hers do." River's mother added, rolling her eyes, which forced a laugh out of River's lips.
"Come on, let's go find the kids." Mateo held out his hand for her to take. She hesitated, looking in between his hand and his face.
"You know it's a conversation you can't avoid, River." He said sternly. She stared at him for a few seconds, contemplating and then finally took his hand, sighing.
"We will be back in a bit." She told her family and walked out with him.
The two of them didn't speak while inside the house. River even tried to remove her hand from his once but he held on firmly, giving her the message that he did not plan to let go. Ever.
"How are you feeling?" Mateo finally asked as they walked down stone path towards the beach. The couple could see the five of them at a distance, Kiara and Lucas playing in the water hanging on to Adam's arms while Alessia was holding little Mia by both her arms while making her walk on the shore.
"Like I had a bloody panic attack."
Mateo laughed out loud and she let out a small chuckle.
That one is never going to get old, was it?
"You know I have told you time and again not to bottle up your feelings." He turned to her, stopping in her tracks.
She turned to look at him. "You told me that one time, kind sir. Do not exaggerate." She gave him her cheeky grin.
Mateo wanted to flick her nose. In fact, he did.
"Hey!!!" She whined, rubbing her nose which turned apple red within seconds.
"So you do turn red. You just don't blush." Mateo laughed.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Shut up! I need the kids in my arms."
"I thought a hug from Meyers was enough." He rolled his eyes, taking her hand back in his as they continued down the path. It was pretty long and Mateo was kind of glad that it was.
"Hugs from others are like temporary dressing of bullet wounds, and hugs from our twins are like surgery that take out the bullet and stitch up the wound for good."
Mateo gave her a flat look. "That's the kind of lame analogy one would expect from a doctor like you." He shook his head.
This time, she stopped walking and turned him to face her by yanking at his arm. "Excuse me?" She looked thoroughly offended. Uh oh. "Did you just call me lame?"
"No, I just said whatever you said was lame." Mateo shrugged, but he wasn't able to stop the chuckle that left his lips.
She rolled her eyes again and started speed walking. It wasn't hard to keep up with her because his legs were a few inches longer than hers. "Oh come on, you cannot be offended by that."
She didn't reply and completely ignored him.
Mateo sighed. Yet again, they had managed to stray from the topic they were supposed to discuss.
"How about we race till where the kids are?"
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