4:40 pm or am (according to my pocket watch)
The sun rises in seconds, I'm startled by the sun, and my hands block the sun from my face. The magnificent Ceasers Flickermens face pops in the sky, but I stop his terrifying face away from me. My eyes are still getting accustomed to the brightness of the sun I hadn't seen in days. Feels like months.
I give a gentle smile as I am standing, feeling a moment of happiness but a mixture of pain. Ceaser Flickermen begins to name every tribute one by one and naming who killed them, then.
I'm the last one He mentions: Ceaser says proudly, "the grand victor! The one who did it all" He laughs like if this was a party and streamers were hanged wall to wall and drinks were being served. Forty seen bodies are in this arena, dead because of me? I am granted life, but they're all dead. We all sacrifice ourselves for entertainment, not even because of war anymore. I can probably guarantee most capitol children don't even know there was a war, and killing is just a normal part of the districts. The capital children probably separate themselves, and now for the rest of my life, I am considered an animal for killing all these people when it was a matter of life or death. I didn't have an option.
Ceaser Flicken ends by saying how well thought these games were and how they were extra creative. He coughs, "ahem, Haymitch... we all would like to see you take out a certain well, uh, souvenir?" He laughs in his usual arrogant tone. Of course, the watches couldn't have forgotten. I mean, I only hear the ticking of billions of pocket watches in my backpack and the one that is pounding on my chest.
Two bloody bodies lye in-front of me. One whom I called friend, Ally... she did ask a lot of questions, but that is beside the point. The other the one I was willing to get my Ally... somebody who I thought was weird or in a way unique then I realized she was beyond mad.
I crouch down to Melania. I don't dare to look at her sliced head that overflows with blood, I reach into her pocket, and I place my hand inside and feel the blood cover my skin.
Four watches are in, including hers, I look to the back of the watch, and the back says, "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME CAPITOL"... she used that when we had some paper dealing in the training, I remember now. Expect I got a beating... she didn't.
She was never capitol, she has a disability with her eyes, and they were always crossed, she wasn't perfect to the capitol eye, she was never capitol, and she never intended to be.
I stand up and sit next to Maysilee, her hands covering her throat, and her eyes bugged out of her skull. Like a fish, she's dead and lays there so unaware, so peaceful, but so tragic. I look down at her light blue eyes and shut them close. I move her long braided blonde hair to the side and in her pocket, bloody as-well...
I take away five watches, including hers. I turn her watch upside expressly down and look at the quote in the back. It says, "Any fool can be happy" she is right, but indeed, Maysilee was no fool.
Maysilee and i's relationship wasn't based on old memories or anything that I could tell in an old history book. Her family owned a candy shop, she was my sister's best friend, I knew how to get to her house, and I saw her in school. She bullied me growing up for being short, and I could hear Dahlia and her talk about boys in the room next to me. Masyilee's hair blonde but always lose. She has bright blue eyes that you could see from a mile away... she always had a lollipop in her pocket. If you brought something to her, she would give it to you. Maysilee had thin eyebrows and always denied anything that had the color red on it.
A tear falls down my cheek ever so light but carries emotional weight. My eyes squeeze shut, and I can't bear the thought that she was my sisters' best friend. She was the last from my district. She was more than what I thought she was. I knew her, but I didn't know her.
In mourning, I miss her "why" questions, and well... I don't know why. I hear a sort of roar, but when I look back, it is an aircraft ready to bring me to the capitol and make me a symbol. I look at Maysilee, and I look at her shiny blonde hair and how it shines when the sun hits it. I never thought I could look at someone this way; she is such a beautiful corpse.
I grab Maysiless hand and place both of my hands around hers. I kiss the palm of her hand and raise it to my forehead, I lay my body down to her, and I mourn, mourn at the fact that I allowed her death to take place, "for Fauna" she would've said, she loved Fauna. I bawl my eyes out and tremble. My body shakes as I hold her hand and feel her cracking hands. I look back at her, and I carefully remove the arrows from her neck. One by one, I place them aside. I grab a rag from my backpack and gently wipe the blood off her neck and hands. I wrap the cloth around her neck like a scarf. Her peach skin is so bright, almost heavenly it looks. Her blonde hair in braids reminds me of my sister, my family.
A peacekeeper shouts to me, "Haymitch Abernathy, it is time to go."
I don't look back, a place I have been dying to leave but now can't? I can't leave Maysilee, and I can't. She's twelve; she's family, she's Maysilee.
I mourn back at her and look up into the sky. Forty-seven tribute's faces are in the sky, the pictures they used when each and every one of them died. In the back of each tribute is their watch, ticking at all different times. The peacekeeper yells a second time, "Haymitch Abernathy, come." I don't dare to look back. How could I?. Not now. I resist, of course, and don't look back. I scream back at them, "NO," they don't make a sound. I look up and see Fauna, Ajax, and Maysilee's face in front of me, Faunas big eyes bugging at me, Ajax giving a cocky smile, a normal ajax look for when he didn't become a mutt, let me repeat myself; a capitol mutt. Penelope, giving a big smile and bouncing up to her curls, and giving a peace sign to the camera. The anthem plays, and the peacekeeper says for the third time, "Haymitch Abernathy, Come. Now!" I stand up and look back at him and say, "NO! You know why," I look towards the sky, "Because you made me stay in here for months! And now you are so eager to let me go. No, I'm sorry, Pres Snow, but it will take more than 47 tributes dead to make me do what you want. My friend died, and I am staying here for as long as I want," I crouch down and look back at Maysilee, still holding her hand.
Stomping, one step at a time, I hear a loud stomp. I am still holding on-to Maysilee's hand as two peacekeepers grab me by the forearm and drag me. They say, "time to go," and I scream back at them, trying to tug myself away. "NO... NOOOOO," I call. I push myself away bug they add more force and don't say a word. I scream and scream as my legs are being dragged on the rocky ground. The knives from my backpack fall out, and a couple almost hit my leg. I scream to the peacekeepers, "LET ME GO," they continue to push me away. I lean my body forward, almost escaping, but they grab me harder.
Maysilee's body, there, Faunas body, there, Ajax's Body all there, there they all are... forty-seven of them died because of me. I scream back at the peacekeepers, "LET ME GO" I swing my legs back and trip over the peacekeeper, but another one comes and grabs me, my legs and arms. They left me up to the aircraft.
A metal chair, a glass of water, pills, and a bottle of white liquor. The peacekeepers strap me down, and an Avox takes my things. I try to resist and tell her several times to keep my knives and keep the watches. She nods in agreement and sets them aside from the chain in a clear plastic bag with an aqua blue zipper. I take the pills one by one, tasting different than the old ones, but I take them as if they were pieces of candy. I open the liquor bottle with my teeth, and the cap goes flying away to the other side. And I chug the alcohol, and it burns down my throat. The liquor spills everywhere, but I can't resist. The sensation, the pleasure, the relief I feel as each drop runs down my throat. Soon I begin to pant, in seconds I'm sweating, I scream to the Avox "MORE!" (panting) She looks back at me with frightened eyes, but of course, I say back to her, "SWEETIE DID YOU HEAR ME. I SAID," I trip over my leg because the whole room is fuzzy, dark, blurry... and in a muffled tone, I repeat what I think is to say "MORE," pointing at her with my index finger... I fall off the chair and stand up and take more of the pills.
I pick up a glass of what seems to be liquor and gulp it down. It is water?.. I yell to the peacekeepers, "this.... Is.. water... I asked... for.. liquor!" my eyes bug out....and soon I am crying, I scream to the Avox girl almost laughing and crying at the same time and say to her loudly "I just killed forty-seven people, have you accomplished... anything....... more...oh wait, you can't say anything! You don't have a tongue! " I lick my lips and stare at her at least an inch away from her face. I say to her, "what? The cats go your tongue" I trip over and speak to the peacekeepers that grab me. I say to him, whispering, "I killed Penelope," I scream, laughing, "I KILLED PENELOPE." I grab the peacekeeper's shoulders and say, "I killed my best friend and didn't even flinch" four peacekeepers come at me, placing me down and holding me down on the steel chair. I laugh and say, "what did you guys get jealous of?" I say to them as an Avox nurse comes to me with a surenge as long as food... no needles.
I say to the Avox, "are. You.... going.. do put..... that.. in well. me?" I till my head, and she nods in agreement. Four peacekeepers are holding me down, but. I say to her, "wouldn't you like a taste of your own medicine?" I kick the Avox girls stomach, push the peacekeepers away and sit on the Avox's girls stomach and say, "looks like the odds weren't in your favor, sweetheart" I stab the Avox with her surenge but imminent I pull back and say, "this isn't the games Haymitch this isn't the games Haymitch" I repeat in a speedy tone "My name is Haymitch Abernathy, I am from district twelve-" and as I am repeating it-two peacekeepers come and beat me up, kicking me and tasing me, I say to them "you all seriously have never been in the hunger games, see int eh games we do take death lightly" I grab their tasers and tase themselves. The Avox girl lyes, I believe, asleep, but I say to her, "I'm sorry.... I'm.... Sorry, I didn't mean that" I stand up and look back at her and say, "WHAT THE HECK! I DID MEAN THAT," pointing at the camera on the top corner. "YOU HEARD IT! YOU TURNED ME INTO AN ANIMAL! FEEL PROUD," I start laughing hysterically. I drink more of the pills and take out the knives from my nag, and hit right in the middle the camera.
Sweat falls from the back of my neck, and the room feels like one hundred degrees. I start sweating buckets, and I take off my shirt. The sweat droplets hit the floor one by one. Soon blood droplets hit the floor. I scream and bang on the sides of the aircraft. I switched the sides of the aircraft with my legs and banged myself against the walls several times. I place my forehead against the steel wall, and I start crying.
Five peacekeepers come at me and attempt to calm me down. Several of them say, "it is going to be all right" I bang myself against them, and I am breathing. A peacekeeper comes with a wet cloth to wipe off my blood, and I say to him in a crooked voice, "you know, in the games... this cloth can mean life.... Or death... crazy" I smile back at him, laughing and cracking up, the peacekeeper ignores what I say, but I repeat it to him "life or death, I bet you don't worry about death do you... you see, I killed forty-seven tributes and I" (elongating the I) "I have" I cough out some blood... I say, "i- have bragging rights.. peace-y-boy."
The four peacekeepers come at me and strap me down. They strap legs down with black tape.
To get this tape off of me, I ask the other Avox girl that comes in, "could you give me some warm water? I am pretty cold" the Avox bows her head in agreement and comes minutes later with a shiny white mug with hot water. I reply, "thank you, sweetheart" I take a sip and wet the tops of my fingers in the water. I take some of the water with my hands and place the warm water over the tape. I repeat it over and over. Nodded notices a thing. The capital believes that we are animals, so they probably think it is some withdrawal remedy.
I strip the tape off of my arm, but not one peacekeeper notices. Soon enough, another falls off, then another. Soon the only tape I have left is the ones that strap my legs to the bottom of the chair.
A peacekeeper looks at me, but I act as if I were just playing around with the tape and being anxious... I have been acting out of order, but what do they expect. I look back up to see if they were looking, and no. I dab my fingers in the warm water, bend myself over, and slowly strip the tape away. I stand up and look at them. I saw "may the odds be ever! In your favor," I grab the tray of syringes and arm myself with them, and charge myself at the peacekeepers. Several of them come air me but what they have put in these surges is calmer, so install several of them fall straight on the ground and make a loud thumping noise. Two peacekeepers come at me, but I grab the surgical scissors they had on the tray and throw them like knives to their throats. I scream, laughing at them "feels good to have a taste of your own medicine.." I grab a peacekeeper by the shoulders, out my weight on them so that they fall, and bang their head to the ground.
I'm going crazy. I go side to side, hitting my head with trays and tripping over the knocked out peacekeepers. I'm sweating even more, and my clothes are drenched in sweat and blood.
The clocks click click and click, and I cover my ears. The ticking annoys me, and it is all I can concentrate on. The only thing I can hear is the clicking and ticking... the sound switches a mode in my brain like a scared baby animal. I scream, "MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP" I continue to scream as the ticking has become louder and louder. My hand's switching worsens, and soon, I am uncontrollably screaming, screeching, shaking, and marking myself with my long nails. My cheeks are bleeding because of the sharpness of my nails... and blood is all over the room—the walls, the roof.. everywhere.
The ticking continues, but louder and louder. I can't hear myself think.
I bend my knees to my stomach, dog my face into my legs, and cover my ears. I scream and scream, louder and louder. I start panting loudly, and the sobbing mixes with the crying, and soon I cant breathe. My throat feels like it's enclosing, and the walls feel like they are caving in, and I will never be able to get out of the state... I can feel the walls closing. It's not just me! I think it, and I think the oxygen leaves the room.
Gran's scream replays in my head over and over, and I picture Fauna, Maysilee, and Ajax's slit throats all at once. I scream, "NO... NOOO! NOT THEM, NOT MY FAMILY, NOT THEM! KILL ME DO IT I DONT CARE TAKE MY LIFE AND GIVE IT TO THEM. I CAN'T I CAN'T" their screams replay in my head over and overall I can do is the picture
Ajax skinny and out of breath. Fauna in the Eden, Maysilee speechless. All there death replay in my head, but the watches' ticking continues, and the deaths replay in my head every time the watches move to another number. Every hour or even each minute, every death replays in my head over and over. If I were watching it. How I killed them, who got killed... how at the end this all revolves around me and I am responsible for the death! I am responsible for forty-seven death. Why me.
I kick and bang on everything that is around me. I scream, cry, and curse at everything around me as if they were responsible or could even respond to me. Tick tick tick the sound of the watches make. I can't hear myself think. All I hears the repeating sounds over and over, and massive yelling is coming from everywhere. Blood spattered all over the room. This is a picture of my misery. I bet the capital is loving this, loving my withdraw and pain.
Footsteps I hear, they are coming directly at me, I scream to them "NO.... GET AWAY FROM ME"... not even looking up to see who it is, a peacekeeper grabs by my shoulders bangs my head against the floor countless times. By the last smack, I'm crying out of pain, and I tell them to stop, but they continue to bang me, and then another peacekeeper comes with a large needle. They strike me with it, and I knock out.
In my dream, I am in a clock, the center. The stick moves to one, all the deaths of district one play, district 2, and all the deaths. I turn with the stick to twelve... Maysilee Ajax and Fauna all are looking at me, and they say at the same time, "how could you" and what seems to be my clone stab them with a knife, and then I wake up. I scream to the top of my lungs and push the covers I am in away.
A Lady, middle-aged, with crazy hair and dark red lipstick, says to me, "Haymitch, it's me" I push "me" away, and I fall off the bed and knock myself against the walls and accidentally crash myself against the lamp. My forearms have tubes and needles coming out of them, and I rip them off. Several young females come at me trying to do something, but I push away, and my head crashes against a sort of glass, and it shatters all over the floor. The same middle-aged lady looks at me and says, "HAYMITCH. IT IS ME," I reply, screaming, "WELL, "ME," I DON'T KNOW YOU." I am still buzzing around and crashing through this apartment side by side. Then a lady younger, wiser looking... tall, strong... red-haired and light eyes comes to me and says "Haymitch! Stop acting childish it's me, Alma, and that's Evian... remember us?" Alma? The liar? Before the games, the one attempted to teach me how to lie and please a crowd, nothing like I have done. Evian... ugh her. She's annoying and a pest..well, actually, she's pretty sweet.
I don't know him well, but by the looks of it, she looks spoiled and like she hasn't had to work a day in her life. I look at Evian and say, "what do you want from me," she looks at me, shocked, and she says in a horrible accent, and she says, "Haymitch! I beg your pardon!" I say, "what" I turn to alma and say, "where am I" she replies, "you are in the apartment you were in before the games.. remember," I cant to remember much I say to Alma, "I can't remember much." Alma looks at the tubes that were connected to me and say, "well, this medicine causes memory loss for a while, so that might explain some of it"
Alma and Evian leave the room, and there's a small desk with the lamp that I broke, and there is a note with a chicken scratched handwriting, and it says:
"Dear Haymitch, Congrats on Winning the games! I knew you could do I, I love you and tell the team hi for me, and tell my family I Love them!- Fauna"...
How did she know? If she put two and two together and still would, have-not got the answer. My hand flies and I grab a pocket knife next to my bed and play around with it to calm me down.
A familiar sound of footsteps enters the room, a smaller person. My eyes turn, and there He is, My little brother. Lourens looks at me, frightened, frail, and says, "congrats... you did it" I drop my knife, and I run toward him and give him the biggest hug that I ever have. I put him down and say, "how did they let your come?.. wheres Dahlia... wheres mom!" Lourens says to me, "they're on their way.. the ceremony isn't un-till tomorrow. I just was able to come early, and I snuck in to see you before you got crowned victor...you would've wanted that. right?" I smile back at him and say, "would've? I did and do! Thanks".... Lourens walks a bit to the right and notices the knife on the ground and the blood on the floor... he crouches down and, with his finger, places it on the blood, and Lourens says to me, "Haymitch, are you okay?" Why do I reply? My brother has my blood on his finger, a knife on the floor, and just me in general. I reply in a muffled voice, "somethings have changed since the last time you saw me.. okay? But don't worry... we are going to live in the victor's village now, and things will change... For good, I think" Lourens looks at me and says, "I heard you screaming and throwing and crashing into things... I saw the videos of you in the aircraft" they showed the recordings, and to my brother? Dang.
"nothing to be scared of... now go back. I bet mom is lost and probably looking for you.. you know how a mom can get right" He nods back in agreement and gives me a hug. I feel a tear run down his face, and tea runs down mine.
I watch Louren leave the room, and my eyes flood with tears, and as I am wiping my tears, another familiar face walks in Jason and Karma. I can't miss them for a mile with their exotic looks... They look at me and say, "why why why! Our victor! Our Haymitch, Our Boy!" They cry and come to hug me. I awkwardly accept the hug, and Karma says, "well, Haymitch, your crowning is tomorrow, but we have to show you some outfits today! Right now, son!" Don't call me son, I almost say- but.... They do view me as family, so I leave it off. They pull out a couple of male models, and they model three different suits. One of the suits is Orang and blue, Purple and Black, and the other is black and gold. I tell Karma and Jasyn, "the gold one," they both nod, and Jasyn says, "that was my favorite! Matches perfectly with the crown and your hair" I give Jasyn a weird smile and turn to karma and say, "could it have a watch inside there" I point to where a gold chain hangs on the waist "here instead of the chain" Karma says "well of course! You are a genius! Jasyn.. how did you not think of that.. Haymitch! Now you should be a stylist" she slaps his head. Jasyn says, "any watch in particular?" I take out Faunas gold watch from my pocket and say, "here" they grab a miniature magnifying glass and look into it and say, "oh dear Fauna," their faces make a human look like they are actually for the first time realizing that Fauna is dead. I was the one who allowed it to happen. Karma looks at me, and she says, "Alma will be coming In shortly to talk to you, okay?" ... I nod in agreement, and then they both walk out.
Doctors and Avox Nurses and Alma come in. They star strapping me down again with Velcro straps, and Alma gets closer tome, and she says, "Haymitch, you lost forty-five pounds in the games...the stuff they gave you to gain weight was just temporarily... I am pretty sure you haven't seen yourself" seen myself? I say aloud, "Forty five-pound lighter?"
I push the nurses away and unstrap myself and go to the full body mirror, and I see myself.
I look at myself. I take my shirt off and look stomach. My once muscular body has turned into a frail, skeletal boney body that looks like a raisin... I look directly at my rips that pop out, the gaps in-between my arms and the sides of my ribs. I can see my bones clear as day... I am wrecked. My face is shrunk, and my cheekbones are as a promenade as how Tigirs looks.
My hand covers my mouth, and I fall to the floor. Alma comes to me, and she says, "Haymitch, these people here are going to make you normal" I reply
"no. this is normal... I just spent two months without food and water; this is My normal Alma. Why doesn't the capital want to see this?.. Why wouldn't they want to see what they caused? Why wouldn't they?" Alma looks at me and says, "they are just going to fill you up a bit surgically," I reply, "surgically?" Like they're going to put me in a room and stuff fat into my body? Alma looks at me, and she says, "Haymitch, yes, but you'll eventually gain in back... it is just for the ceremony tomorrow" I really "no. I want them to see me like this" I want the capitol to see what it is like. Alma looks at me, and she stays straight-up "well, Haymitch, you have no choice" Alma stands us and then, Two peacekeepers grab me by my arms and legs and strap me down like a pig. I resist, but as soon as I try to get away, a Nurse puts a mask over my nose and mouth, and soon, a gas fills it up, and I knock out.
I wake up patched and stuck up, my jaw filled with plastic and my cheeks feeling fuller and more prominent. I wake up, all my scars retouched, and my hands in gloves locked to don't scratch myself. I am in a new pair of clothing, and my hair seems to feel wet. I can't move, so I ask the Avox nurse to grab a mirror for me to see at least my face and how it looks.
The Avox nurse comes to me, and she points the gold-lined mirror at me, and I see myself.
My hair, longer and blonder.... My face looking more masculine and define. i look horrible.
I look at the Avox, and I burst, and I say, "do they do this to all the victors?" Blood flies from my throat, She nods her head, and I stay there stunned. I don't look like myself. I look like a capital copy like something they printed and then came me! I can't believe what I am seeing or who I have become because of the capital. Is this what my life is going to look like? Doing what the capitol wants me to do and obey their every wish and command even if I don't have a choice?
A tear falls down my eye, and I weep. I'm looking at myself, proud that I survived but sad about how I did stay because I really shouldn't have survived. I should've died, and I should be dead.
"I should have died," I whisper to myself. The nurse looks at me, stunned.. she moves to the desk and writes on a paper, "do you mean that" I write down, "yes, I do. I should be dead, and you should be too." Her eyes bug out, and I say, "sorry, I didn't mean that......that was harsh."
I should've died in the bloodbath like a typical tribute. I should've become a symbol for other tributes. I the next years 'if you die in the beginning, your life will be way more simple. If you die in the beginning, you won't have to suffer withdrawal and have to go through getting plastic fillers injected in your face and live lie this... I say to the Avox, "I look horrible," she writes down on a paper, "in a week, you'll be home, don't worry, Haymitch" she gives a faint smile. I have to give her credit. She could've said, 'just kill yourself already,' and I probably would've listened.
I rip off the tubes from my arms, again and I fall asleep again.
A familiar face is by my side. A young female, strawberry blonde hair, peach skin, blue eyes, bleached and short eyebrows...shes about 15 I think... she's blurry and looks like she would be falling off of the bed, but instead I feel like I am falling off the bed. I place myself up and say, "excuse me..um, hello?" Her head pointed upwards, and she turns it and says, "Why Hello stranger" I look at her and say, "I recognize you... from somewhere.. do you mind my asking. How long have I been asleep?" She stands up and says, "Haymitch, it's five o'clock in the morning. You slept an entire day... the crowing is at one-pm... you should start taking a shower," I reply "crowning?" She says, "Haymitch remember you won the games!" I reply, saying over and over, "hunger games...quarter quell" I throw my shoulders backward and forwards, banging myself against the bed like all the memories of the games flow back into my head ad I start sweating and panting. The girl stands up and calms me down and hugs me. And I place my head on her shoulder and begin to cry. The girl says, "Haymitch, I just left Heather's room to visit you... I don't have much time. If anybody sees me here, I'm going to be punished...you don't know what's happened, don't you?" I look at her and say, "why?.. What has happened?" She replies, "Haymitch, the capitol isn't happy with you.. you figured out the games... I showed you the force field, and you figured out that that was the end of the arEna, you outsmarted the game makers, Haymitch," the girl showed me the forcefield, I won the games, I lived the games... I survived the games, but who can this be?. The memories come back, and the girl.
It's Effie, Effie Trinket.