Buck grabbed his bag, ready to leave his big empty apartment, and head into work. He looked at the note sitting on the side table as a reminder. It had been over three months since he came home from a hard shift to that note and his whole world came crashing down. He knew soon he would have to face the fact the person he fell for was not coming back, that he was alone again. He shakes his head and slams the door as he makes his way down the hall towards the elevator.
As he presses the button to head down to the car park, he stood watching the numbers count down. This became normal for him; most days he was on autopilot, he just felt so numb. He would go to work, paint a happy face on and do the job that he loved, then come home and sit and wallow in the big emptiness of the apartment. He knew it was his fault he was alone, after all, he was the one who suggested they go and visit the places around the world, now though, he regretted it, and to add to the hurt more he hadn't received a single text or call back for over a week. He knew he was been ghosted, but still, the love was there and the hope that he would get some kind of contact soon.
As the elevator doors opened up to the vast car park that was full, Buck imagines the people and families that must live in the same building, who he rarely sees as he is out early and back late. As he makes his way towards his Jeep, he sees his neighbour.
'I hope they don't want to talk to me,' he thinks to himself.
He hurries himself to his jeep but as he gets there, he hears a voice call out to him.
'Damn, caught,' he thinks.
"Hey Evan, how are you today?" Mrs. Chester asks.
"Hey Mrs. C, remember I told you to call me Buck. I'm good, just off to another shift. What are you doing up so early?" Buck asks.
"Oh, I just needed to nip to the shop, wanted to get in before the masses wake," she chuckles.
"You should give me a knock if you need anything, I don't mind going out and grabbing it for you," Buck says; anything to be out of the apartment.
"You're too kind. Have you heard from Alex?" she questions.
"Not recently, but with times zones and my shifts, it's hard to talk. Anyway, I best be off- don't want to be late. I'll see you around and remember give me a knock if you or Mr. C need anything," Buck says with a painted on smile
"I will, I'll bake you something for later. Be safe," she says as she heads off, and Buck jumps in his jeep.
He looks at the steering wheel and punches it before placing his head on it as he starts to cry. The one question Buck wanted to avoid. His boyfriend left after his father died to travel and find himself, and Buck let him, hell he even encouraged him. His friends told him it wasn't good, they told him he needed to face facts; that Alex wasn't coming back, but Buck told them he wasn't going to listen to that, Alex said he would be back and when they spoke, he always said to Buck he will be back for him. Buck believed the man he loved and the note he left explained to Buck that he would be back for him once he did his traveling. Now over a week with no contact but seeing new posts on social media, it was evident he had been left behind and forgotten.
Sitting there, looking at the charm that swings from the mirror, brings back memories of their first meeting. Buck smiled at his thoughts but turned sad as he realizes he won't ever be happy.
His phone goes off. An unknown number.
"Alex, is that you?" He asks as he answers in hope.
"No, it's Maddie. Wait, who's Alex?" She asks.
"It doesn't matter, what do you want?" He had not heard from her in years. Another person who said they would be there but left him, now calling out of the blue.
"I needed to talk. Some things have happened and well... I'm in LA," she says. 'Oh great, now she is here and most likely in trouble.' Buck was in no mood for it today.
"Got to go, I need to get to work. You can call later, but I may be working late." He ends the call abruptly, hanging up on his sister.
He gets his seat belt on and starts the engine, driving to work with thoughts of Alex and Maddie now on his mind. He hadn't heard from her much since she got with Doug. Buck knew he was a douche but she was happy, so let her go on with it, he had his own problems with their parents and coming to terms with his sexuality. As he drives down the roads he focuses on driving and finally arrives at the station. Stepping out he grabs his bag and paints on the fake smile and attitude he had become so used to doing. Walking in he looks over and sees most of his team standing there looking towards the locker room.
"What are we looking at?" Buck asks as he approaches the group.
"The new recruit. Comes highly recommended apparently," Chimney replies.
"Best watch out Buck, you might not be the favourite anymore." Hen chuckles as she punches Buck in the arm. He shifts to look at the recruit, but all he can see is their back. They have a hat on but since they are so short it's all he can see.
"Ah, I see you've all noticed our new recruit. We were lucky to get them as they were poised for Station 6, but I persuaded them to join us," Bobby calls out.
"And what's their name?" Hen asks.
"It's recruit Ken-" starts Bobby, but is cut off by Buck who was watching as the person turned.
"Maddie!" Buck exclaims, shocked, and starts walking towards the lockers with his sister now looking at him.
"Evan, what are you doing here?" She says surprised.
"No, the question is what are you doing here at my place of work as a new recruit!" Buck snarls. He was not impressed. She had only just dropped the bomb that she was in LA but now here she was standing in front of him.
"It's complicated Evan; we can talk after the shift," she says as she turns and walks into the back.
Buck throws his bag down and punches his locker.
"Woah, what rattled your cage? And how do you know the recruit?" Bobby asks.
"She, well... she is my sister. I'm sorry Bobby, but I can't work with her." Buck looks at his Captain. He knows he sounds childish but it was hard enough focusing at the best of times; now with her here, he knows he would make a mistake.
"Buck, you don't get to decide who I hire, like I said she comes highly recommend. If I had known about her being your sister, I would have spoken to you first but I didn't and she didn't say she knew you so my hands are tied. Get dressed and we will try to work this out," Bobby speaks with a stern tone.
Buck rolls his eyes and goes to his locker, grabbing his uniform, and quickly changes. His head down as he ties his laces, he knows the person who just walked by was his sister. He didn't even acknowledge her. Chim walks in as he finishes tying his laces.
"Well, this day just got interesting didn't it? Why didn't you say we were getting your sister?" Chim asks.
"Not now Chimney, I'm not in the mood" Buck snarls, hoping his tone would put him off.
"No, Buck. I know you put on a front for us, I know you're hurting from... well- you know, but this is your sister and more importantly a part of our team. I get you have some history and we won't pry but like Bobby says; when you're here it's work and work only. Forget about other things." Chimney finishes his rant and Buck lets out a sigh.
"When did you become so wise?" Buck chuckles.
"There see, I got you to chuckle! Look, let's get the shift over and we can try to sort this mess later, what do you say?" Chim asks holding his hand out.
Buck reaches and grabs hold, shaking Chim's arm up and down. "Fine, but no promises, I can't even stand to look at her, I just want to yell at her." He stares down at the ground.
"I'm sure you have your reasons and I get it. Families can suck, but let's focus on saving people," Chim says.
"Okay, I'll see you up there," Buck says as he takes his leave and heads up the stairs.
When he reaches the top, he sees his sister talking to Bobby and some others. Buck rolls his eyes and grabs an apple from the counter, makes a quick coffee while ignoring everyone that speaks to him. Walking to the other side of the upper floor and taking a seat looking out, he places the cup on the table and pulls out his phone. Repetition kicking in, and he loads up Alex's social media and sees he's somewhere in Italy. What hits Buck even more, is when he sees a photo of the one place he mentioned to Alex that he would love to visit. The Colosseum. It's like Alex knew Buck was checking, and this was his way of hurting him but Buck knew deep down Alex wouldn't do that to him, but the Colosseum image felt apt as he felt like he was in an arena and the lion is waiting to pounce. He can see out of the corner of his eye, Hen and Bobby talking and looking over at him, most likely discussing who was going to come over.
Buck looks back at his phone and continues to scroll through the images.
"Buck, do you think that it's healthy to do that?" Hen questions as she sits.
"Do what? See how my- well, I don't even know what he is anymore- is getting up to or distracting myself from the shambles that my life has become; even more so thanks to her," Buck says nodding towards Maddie.
"She is your sister, surely you can't be mad she is here? And maybe it's time you look at the facts with Alex; he has ghosted you and hasn't been in contact and I'm sorry to be so blunt Buck but I feel you need this- he isn't coming back! He left you and I'm sorry he did but you deserve so much better, and it is time you move on and enjoy life before the sorrow consumes you!" Hen finishes with a forceful exhale.
Buck looks at her, deep down he knew she was right. Alex wasn't coming back and he hadn't been in contact. Buck needed to focus on himself; he knew he was always feeling sad and lonely and he could be out there enjoying life. But now even if he wanted to do that the new storm called Maddie had rolled in, he just wished he could get a break for once, maybe he should get away, go on a trip.
"You're right, maybe it is time I moved on, maybe leave and travel," Buck says with a smile. It felt like a great idea and as he looked at Hen he could see the shock on her face
"Buckaroo, I didn't mean it like that," her worried tone hitting Buck's ears.
"It's fine Hen, it makes perfect sense. I need time to think and maybe a change of scenery will do me good. Thanks for making me see sense, I'll speak to Bobby in a bit." Buck explains
Hen goes to say something but the alarm goes off and they all make their way down to the trucks. Buck jumps in as Maddie joins them in the back. Buck looks at her and she smiles but he turns away as the truck speeds off.
"We have a pile-up on the freeway- three cars, no information on major casualties. Buck, I want you and Chimney to work on one car, myself and Kendal will work on another, and Mack and Hen on the third are we clear?" Bobby orders over the radio.
"Yes," is called out by everyone.
"By the way, just call me Mads, saves time," Maddie explains and Buck rolls his eyes as he watches the LA streets fly by.
"That's fine," Chim explains.
The chatter goes on and Buck doesn't take any notice until they arrive at the scene. Climbing out Buck can see the three vehicles, it looked simple enough only one wedged in the middle that would need the jaws while the other two looked easy enough to free. Buck and Chimney made their way over to their designated car and as they start to work Buck looks over and sees his sister working hard. He had to admit he was surprised at how quick she was moving with the gear on. He turns his attention back to what he was doing and catches Chim watching him.
"What?" He snaps.
"Nothing. Well, Hen-" Chim starts as he cracks the door open. Buck knew she would say something, most likely what they were talking about on the way here. "-she says you may go traveling, why now?"
"No reason, Hen explained- well she was her usual blunt self- that I need to face facts so I am, and maybe I deserve to see some of the places Alex has seen," Buck says.
"Or is it you hope you will bump into him?" Chim asks looking at Buck and to be honest, Buck hadn't thought about that.
"I never thought about that, but I don't think I could see him again. It would hurt too much; I need to move on." Buck turns his attention to the driver they were now looking at.
"Hi, my name is Chimney and that's Buck. We're here to help, do you have any pain anywhere?" Chim asks the driver.
"Just in my neck" The lady explains.
"Whiplash?" Buck asks looking at Chim.
"Can you move your legs and arms for me, is there any pain?" Chim asks.
"Yeah, I can and there is no pain."
"Good, most likely whiplash," Chim confirms. "Let's get a neck brace on you and get you out, eh."
Buck passes the brace to Chim who attaches it to the woman. Buck loved working with Chimney. He would show Buck how to do things if it was time permitting; if it was something serious Chim would work a lot quicker. Buck made mental notes and helped Chim get the driver out and escort her to the ambulance. Once there, they explained to the medic their diagnosis and made their way back to the truck.
"Buck, I know it sounds selfish of me but stay. I know it will be hard with your sister here, but it wouldn't be the same without you and I know Bobby and Hen will feel the same," Chim says as they walk.
"I know Chim, but maybe for once, I need to be the selfish one and do something for me. I am always doing everything for everyone else and I'm not complaining as I love doing it... but I feel I'm owed this, you know," Buck replies as they arrive at the truck.
"I know you do Buck, and I don't think you are being selfish. I get it but please, think long and hard before you commit," Chim asks anxiously.
"Commit to what?" Maddie asks.
Buck lets out a huff. "Nothing that concerns you." He walks away from them.
He rounds the side of the truck and sees Bobby looking at him and shaking his head, obviously not impressed with Buck's attitude towards his sister while they are out.
"Buck, what was that?" Bobby questions, disappointed.
"What, we weren't dealing with anyone, and Chim and I were having a private conversation so I did nothing wrong. Look, I had the talk with Chim and while I'm at work I will be professional okay? Work is work- everything else stays out, remember?" Buck says with a smirk.
"Don't quote my sayings back to me or I'll put you on cleaning duty," Bobby smiles back. "But we do need a chat when we get back don't, we?" He adds with a knowing look.
"It will be good to get your input on what I've been thinking," Buck hints.
"Okay, let's get packed up and head back and we will chat," Bobby says and Buck smiles back.
He helps Bobby finish up packing the truck and he climbs in the truck. Full conversations go quiet as he takes a seat and places his headset on and looks around the cabin and Hen gives him a smile that he returns. The truck starts up and Buck yet again watches the LA streets go by as chatter resumes in the background. He spaces in and out, hearing Hen and Chim asking Maddie questions, noting that they avoid anything to do with himself which he is thankful for. It was hard enough having his sister there, let alone talking about him. Finally arriving back at the station, Buck is the first out and heads to hang his gear and as he turns Maddie stands there smiling at him. He lets a small smile slip and walks off; he knew it would be a long day so best try to be civil. He could do civil; if not for himself then the team, he didn't want his negativity affecting them. Walking through the bay he sees Bobby who signals him to his office and follows him in.
"So, what you do want to talk about?" Buck asks even though he knew there were only a few options to choose from.
"Well, how about the one that joined us today?" Bobby asks.
Buck knew it would be this most likely followed by Alex and then his idea to travel. He looks around the room, glancing at all the papers on the wall and then to Bobby who was just looking at Buck. This is one of the things he liked about Bobby; he would never push him to talk, he just let Buck open up slowly.
"I just can't forgive her for leaving me, she promised to be with me but she up and left the first chance she got. I had to deal with my parents alone and my sexuality which then made my parents a hundred times worse and when I tried asking her to come to help me, she wouldn't. We lost touch and I moved on but the hurt of being left was still there. Then everything with Alex happened and now seeing her and still dealing with Alex leaving... it hit home, Bobby. That I am always the one who seems to be left behind and I am always doing the right thing for everyone but when is it my time, Bobby?" Buck forces out, feeling tears form. He hated opening up and knew the second he did the tears would come, but Bobby would never judge him.
"Buck, I can't give you all the answers on what's best to do. I know you have the biggest heart and even with everything you have been through it still shines through, you come to work and I see how much you have grown. I know everything with Alex is raw and you need to process and make a decision but from what I can see he left you. I know that sounds harsh but I can't see you suffer thinking he is coming back when he clearly isn't. When was the last time you spoke to him, be honest with me" Bobby finishes and Buck cannot help but feel guilty that he had put Bobby in the awkward spot.
"Over a week, I tried calling and texting but no reply," Buck says.
"So, nothing at all. Buck, that isn't fair. My advice is you need to move on with your life, you are twenty-eight, you still have loads going for you and I'm here for you," Bobby says, strongly.
"I know, Bobby. I was talking to Chim and Hen and I was thinking maybe I would go traveling... " Buck hesitates to finish his thoughts. "...and maybe put in a transfer to another station." He cringes at the last bit, especially when he sees the look on Bobby's face.
"No Buck, I won't do a transfer- you belong here. I know it's tough with your sister being here, but is running away the right answer?" Bobby questions him.
"I'm not running away, just everything here reminds me of Alex. I know eventually my sister and I will get on the same page, but then I will still have the reminders of Alex and it's too much to bear." Buck is glaring at the ground as he finishes.
"Okay, how about I arrange a few weeks off for you as vacation, you have racked up a lot of time off as you're always here covering. During that time, find somewhere to live to get you out of Alex's place and do some traveling." Bobby looks deep into his eyes, hoping Buck can see his pleading in them. "But promise me you will come back to us."
Before he can answer the alarm goes off once more.
"Saved by the bell, I'll want your answer later," Bobby speaks as they both rush to get their gear on.
Once in the truck, they start on the way and Buck glances at his sister who gives him a sheepish smile. He smiles back and looks out the window. He knew he needed to talk to his sister and most likely would end up in a shouting match, but at the end of it all, he knows they will be better for it. Plus, having her by his side might make moving out of Alex's easier.
"We have a tower block fire at a private clinic. From what we can tell there may be several people trapped so we will be going inside. Two more stations are joining us since the fire is moving so quickly. So, when we get there, we move double-time, understand?" barks Bobby, briefing the team quickly.
Everyone voices their affirmatives.
Buck hated these kinds of calls. Nine times out of ten they always find at least one person who has died and hated seeing the families' faces as they are brought out, but he is hoping today is a different story. The ride there is in silence, everyone getting into their own headspace, ready to do whatever is necessary to save lives.
Pulling up they all step out, staring up at the flames shooting through broken windows.
"Right, we need to move fast. With it being a doctor's clinic there are highly explosive materials inside as well as other chemical's so watch what you touch. Keep low, keep steady, keep in contact," Bobby explains. "Buck and Chimney, I want you to go in and start on the level below the fire. Check every room, understand?"
"Yes, Cap," Buck says, looking to Chim as they head to get suited up.
"Ready for a race," Buck taunts while sliding on his oxygen tank.
"It's not a race, but we both know I'm quicker," Chim jokes back, sliding his own tank on.
"Ah, but that's a good eight flights of stairs we gotta get up," Buck explains as they check each other's lines.
"True that, but you know the story of the hare and the turtle,"
"Okay, we shall see," Buck smirks as he pulls his face mask on, Chimney responding the same way.
"Radio check, you read?" Chim calls out.
"Roger, do you read?" Buck responds.
"Copy," Chim replies. "Bobby, you read us both?"
"Loud and clear, be safe," is his answer.
Buck and Chim make their way around and towards a fire exit leading to the stairs when Buck spots an elderly woman and a little boy waving at them. He looks at Chim who starts to make his way over; if they had anyone in the building, they would know roughly which direction to head in. As they headed over, Buck noticed the little boy had blonde curls, red glasses and was leaning on a pair of crutches.
"Are you both okay?" questions Buck, glancing between the pair."
"My grandson, he is in there!" the woman exclaims loudly.
"Where was the last place you knew he was?" asks Chim.
"He messaged me that he was done and would meet us in the car. He just needed to run to the restroom. His doctor is on the floor right below the fire, please you have to help him." Just as she finishes, a massive explosion rocks the area.
Buck turns and starts running with Chimney following him. The woman shouts something, but they don't catch it as they enter the building.
Eddie- Inside Just Before Explosion
Eddie was finishing up after seeing his doctor. He had sent a text to his Abuela that he was done and would be out shortly; he just needed to use the restroom. He hated having to explain where he was going all the time but understood why, he knew full well she would be waiting with his son and would moan at him if he was a bit late. After washing his hands and drying them, he opened the door, noticing the air smelled a bit funny but brushing it off. He knew his senses were all over the place at the moment and couldn't be trusted.
Walking out, he noticed the offices were darker than normal while the lights on the wall were flashing. He looked around confused and glances into an office that was beside the restroom, unable to see anyone. Making his way through the hall he can't help but notice each office he passed was empty; almost like people had just disappeared. Approaching the elevator, he presses the button but nothing happened. Pressing it again, he saw the elevator was still unresponsive so he smacked the button to see if it would do anything. The third time's the charm, right?
When it still didn't respond he turned around towards the reception for his doctor, hoping someone might be there still. As he did, he felt the ground rumble under his feet, then feeling something smash into his back. Knocked down in shock as he wasn't expecting to be hit, he tries to move, unable to do so. He can tell one of his legs is pinned and feels blood start seeping around him.
"Help!" Eddie shouts, but no one is around to hear him.
Looking around, his attention is brought to the orange glow above him. The flames flicker across the open hole and burning embers start falling. He watches as they land on papers left on a desk and within seconds the office is on fire. He continues trying as hard as he can to pull his leg free, but feeling no give whatsoever.
"HELP ME, PLEASE!" He shouts again and again and still nothing in response but the glow of the flames and building around him.
Eddie can feel the tiredness seeping in his bones, feels his energy draining from the blood loss. He has run out of adrenaline now too, but one thing he learned from the Army is knowing he cannot fall asleep right now. He just can't...
"I'M HERE!" he yells out, but his voice is fading fast as his eyes close. Eddie rests his head on the ground as the fire builds around him.