April 27th; 2024
A week later
Taylor Swift's Point of View
My eyes slowly open but shut back down as it seems draining to keep them open. I forcefully open them again and look around. It's white, it's all so very white and blurry. The light hurts, and I hear a small ring. I close my eyes again but this is when I feel a tube shoved down my throat. I quickly begin to gag and try to move to take it out but I'm too weak to do so. I think all my gagging got Joe's attention because I can hear his voice. He's yelling.
She's awake, she's awake!
I don't feel so awake. I feel like I'm in a trance of nothing. A nurse comes running over to me and I see her smile. Yeah, cool, look at me but can you take out this damn tube?
The nurse reaches over my mouth and takes out ventilator which helps with my comfort. I cough once again. Like I'm not used to that.
"Hello Taylor, can you tell me where you are?" This is the first thing she asks me out of all things.
"It looks like a hospital." I say quietly as it's hard to speak loudly.
"And what's your name?"
"Taylor Swift-Alwyn." They're running a stupid neurological exam.
"Follow the light please." She shines a bright light into my eyes which I proceed to follow.
"What happened?" I ask. Obviously something bad happened since I got a million get well soon type of shit in here and I'm also in a damn hospital to begin with.
"Do you remember anything?" She questions.
"If I did would I be asking you? The last thing I remember was playing at a concert"
"That concert didn't go as planned. Now squeeze my fingers as tight as you can." I reach up and grasp her fingers tightly. Joe sits in the corner just looking at me with a smile.
"What happened?" I ask again.
"You had a stroke."
"A stroke? I'm in my 30's. I take good care of myself."
"You have hypoxia. There wasn't enough oxygen in your blood to sustain your bodily functions. Your brain wasn't getting enough oxygen and you had a stroke."
"That's it? What am I supposed to do then? Breathe more? I can barely breathe half the time to begin with."
"Your exam checks out. I think the doctor should be here to explain all the details to you." She walks away and I look over to Joe who is slightly crying now.
"What are you doing all the way over there London Boy?" I ask with a small laugh. He walks over and brings a chair to sit right next to me.
"I really missed you." He says.
"Was I in a coma?" I ask.
"Yeah, for a week. They put you in a medically induced coma for a few days. I've been waiting for you to wake up for the past couple days."
"You smell gross." I tell him softly which causes him to laugh.
"I haven't showered for a week. I was more worried about you then my personal hygiene."
"The kids?"
"Your dad is with them."
"Joe, what's wrong with me?"
Joe looks up at the ceiling for a moment as if he's trying to pull himself together. He looks at me with small tears swelling in his eyes. "You have-it wasn't allergies."
"Am I gonna die or something?" My tone quickly becomes concerned rather then casual.
"We all will eventually."
"You're scaring me." I begin to slightly cry as the fear shivers down my bones. I hear a small knock and look over. A doctor walks in and looks at me.
"Heard you were awake." The doctor says.
"You heard correctly." I tell her.
"My name is Doctor Jenna Montgomery." She walks closer to me and bites down on her lip.
"What's wrong with me?" This has turned into the most popular question of the day on my part. All I want to know is what the hell is wrong with me. Is there something so wrong about that?
"You were performing...a concert. You had a stroke and it took 5 minutes to revive you. We ran several tests on you. You had a stroke because you weren't getting enough oxygen to your brain."
"Yeah I know. How do I fix it?"
"We did tests, we did an MRI, a CAT, EKG, everything. Then we took a chest x-ray. Here's what a normal x-ray should look like, and this is yours." She holds up two scans, one represents mine and the other represents some healthy Jane Doe.
"What's the difference?" I ask.
"Yours is covered in these things called nodules. You see those spots on yours?" She points to several small spots on the scan.
"Yeah?"
"Your lungs were covered in them and we also found a large white mass. So we did a small surgery where we basically inserted an instrument into your lungs and collected a sample. We sent the sample up to pathology."
"What did it say?"
"You have lung cancer. Lung cancer can cause hypoxia and the hypoxia is what lead to your stroke."
I begin to laugh out of all things. There were so many reactions and I just...laugh.
"Are you okay?" She asks.
"It's just so funny because my mom had cancer and now I have cancer and-and I can't sing without good lungs."
"I don't understand what's so funny about it."
"I can't-I can't perform anymore which is what my entire life has been built upon." I continue to laugh and tears roll down my cheeks. I think I'm in shock.
"You have stage three lung cancer so with proper treatment, you might be able to live a 5-10 years."
"What about my voice?" I ask through my tears
"The cancer can cause your voice to change. We can't make any promises it will stay the same."
I just burst out laughing even more. "I'm sorry, this is so-this is just so ironic. I went to the doctor months ago and they said nothing was wrong. I was going to get a chest x-ray but my son dislocated his shoulder and I had to leave. I never rescheduled."
"We need to start treatment as soon as possible if we want to try and beat it."
"Okay, sounds good to me." Jenna leaves and I calm down from my laughing fit.
"I know you're gonna be surprised but the media is all over you." Joe explains.
"Just tell them I'm fine. Just had an issue with oxygen levels. They don't need to know anything."
"Are you sure you want to lie?"
"I'm not lying, I'm just not telling the entire truth."
"You're twisting the truth which is basically lying."
"I don't want them to know. This is the only way to make sure no one finds out." I grasp his hand slightly and look up at Joe.
"We're going to get through this, you know that right?" I tell him.
"Taylor, your survival rate is 53%. There's a 53% chance you'll live five years. The odds of you beating this and living a full life like you did before is minuscule. Lung cancer is one of the most deadly cancer. It has the most fatalities."
"If we have that attitude, I'll never beat this. My mom had cancer and lost, my dad had cancer and won. This isn't a death sentence. Plus, it gives me more time to write songs if you think about it."
Joe chuckles slightly before speaking. "I think it's cute how you're trying to make this into a positive thing."
"I'll take that as a compliment. Does anyone else know I'm...sick?"
"Scott, the kids, close family pretty much. I wanted them to know you were okay and what happened."
"So I don't need to explain myself to them...yayyyyy. I'll just have Tree make a statement saying I'm fine or something."
"For a person who was just diagnosed with cancer, you seem pretty chill about it."
"Don't worry, I'm terrified but I can't focus on that. I have bigger problems in my life."
"Like what?"
"I want to fix what I've done. I keep screwing everything up. I want to fix all the things I destroyed, starting with Liv. I was so mean, I just want to help her now."
"She has made it very difficult to be nice to lately."
"I know but I'm her mom. I shouldn't be so hard on her. I gotta take care of myself and make sure I love my family."
"Taylor, just so you know, I'm never going to leave you. I'll be here every single day."
"No, no. You gotta take care of the kids. They need you more than I need you. Olivia is having the baby in a few months. She needs you more."
"I don't know-how am I supposed to do this? I love you so much and...you just better not leave me. Promise me you won't leave me until we're old and grey." Joe pleads.
"You know I can't promise that."
"Please just tell me you'll be okay."
"I'm-I'm going to be fine. We make a good team, we have for quite some time you know."
"You're my best friend."
"Damn I just got friend zoned. Married for almost 10 years and you just now tell me this?" I say sarcastically.
"You know what I mean."
"I know what you mean. I'll always know what you mean and what you want to say because I love you. I know you."
Joe grins and looks slightly downwards. I know I'm acting nonchalant about this but I'm terrified. I never really thought of death and if it really scared me or not. I don't think I've ever been too scared of it but when it comes knocking at your front door, you definitely become scared. I'm becoming agitated because I have things to live for. I want to see my kids and my grandchild grow up. I don't want to die. If I die because of this, I'm going to go down with one hell of a fight.
I should have rescheduled my chest x-ray.
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Authors note:
I have so much drama :D
Also, I did as much research as I could into lung cancer. I watched videos, read articles, and looked at people's stories. I didn't just guess anything. If something is medically incorrect, just know I tried my best. I'm not any form of a professional medical practitioner. It is very common for lung cancer to not be diagnosed until into later stages as people tend to not know they have it. Lung cancer can be detected through chest x-rays and obviously you don't go around getting one of those. Lung cancer is more common in people who smoke, have been exposed to radon, and have a family history of it. It's uncommon but not impossible for a perfectly healthy person to end up with it. There are several early symptoms to it but the most prominent is a cough that doesn't go away. You can live years with lung cancer until it's diagnosed and it usually isn't detected until it's already spread. Most people who are diagnosed are unfortunately diagnosed with stage 3 or stage 4. Stage 4 is viewed as a death sentence and gives you very little time to live. I did actually unintentionally find a case where someone had lung cancer but was diagnosed with hay fever btw
I've had family with cancer but I truly don't know how it feels to be in the position of the person experiencing it or a close loved one. I tried my best to take emotions I've felt and place them into these characters. I've been diagnosed with epilepsy and I've seen my family fall ill before and go to hospitals. I know the position of being ill and knowing someone who is. I haven't gone through either of these with cancer. (Unless my dog counts)
Lung cancer is very deadly and my condolences to those who have lost anyone due to it or any form of cancer.
Okay I'm done now lol.
Song: Welcome to the Black Parade-My Chemical Romance
WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY MY FATHER TOOK ME INTO THE CITY TO SEE A MARCHING BAND HE SAID SON WHEN YOU GROW UP WILL YOU BE THE SAVIOR OF THE BROKEN THE BEATEN AND THE DAMNED HE SAID WILL YOU DEFEAT THEM YOU DEMONS AND ALL THE NON-BELIEVERS THE PLANS THAT THEY HA-