Sage
For over a week I've worked hard on tending the wounds to a man who deserved to not be part of this Blackstone drama I tried so hard to escape from.
Travis hasn't broken up with me but he has asked for space so he could think which in this case cannot end well. Then there's Greyson who I haven't heard from either, I'm hoping maybe that he took the hint and will finally leave me alone.
That's a lie
Ever since I met him again it's like the world began to have color in it but I'm so comfortable in black and white to venture into a world that hasn't treated me completely well. I know what I'm doing is horrible, dragging two men along, but it's hard to make the right choice when they're both the right choice.
I feel like those girls in those soap operas who do the same, when everyone clearly knows the main man is the one she should end up with. But I always rooted for the second male lead, the one who fell for a girl who he had no chance with.
"Where are you taking me, anyways?" I ask Dad, who mysteriously decided to go out for a random outing.
I'm not sure what he could possibly have to do on a Sunday morning, usually he prepares himself for football. He'll cook up an assortment of finger foods and starts cracking the six-packs to enjoy himself through the night.
He glances to me. "We've got some business to take care of."
The car slows down as he makes a turn into the parking lot of a local garden here, it's pretty famous for couples and families to visit. It took up a few acres and was all planted and tended too by one man. Recently he passed away and his children have taken his legacy and made it flourish.
Once he parks he leaves the car and I am confused, but follow him.
"You know there's no TVs out here, and football starts in a few hours." I joke.
His expression was serious and he cleared his throat. "Come on."
I was uncomfortable whenever my Dad didn't laugh at my clearly terrible jokes. It only meant bad things in my experience.
So I followed him through the garden, enjoying what was left of it. We are way into fall and they're all colored red and orange, leaves slowly falling from the trees as the wind pushes against them.
Suddenly my Dad stops and I look ahead of him to see two familiar men, ones I've acquainted myself with in my past live.
My Dad continues his way to them and I follow along, curious why this meeting was set up and if it has anything to do with Greyson. I expected if I ever saw them again I'd be welcomed with large smiles and big hugs, instead they remained seated at their bench. Both rocking expensive sunglasses and detached expressions.
"I'll walk around while you all catch up." Dad says and nods his head at the two guys.
Before I could protest, Richard stands up. "My dear, we need to talk."
"Listen, if you're here about Greyson I already told him it's not going to happen." I explain to them, even though they didn't ask about it.
Hudson didn't move or speak.
Richard sighs. "I was hoping our next meeting wouldn't be so grim."
"What are you talking about?"
He turns his head away for a moment, then looks back at me. "Please sit, this won't be brief."
"I'm confused, whats going on?" I did as he suggested, and sat down.
Richard seats himself beside me, facing me while Hudson remained silent behind us. "I have rooted for you and my son since the moment I arranged you, to this day I have no regrets."
"Richard are you okay? Why are you talking like you're dying?" I began to worry, despite this being our first encounter in years I still loved him like family.
He shakes his head, and chuckles. "My dear, you think too little of me, I'm invincible."
"Richard." I finally take a breath, relieved he's fine. "Then whats wrong?"
Richard glances at Hudson, as if he's queuing him into the conversation. "I can't do this alone, son."
"He's going to kill us for even doing this." Hudson finally speaks out, then makes eyes contact with me. "Bianca passed away."
My eyes widened. "What?"
"It happened while she was asleep, it seems she was far more sicker than she led on." Richard sighs. "Scarlett was the first to find her."
Suddenly I am frozen, as much as it pained me to hear this, I felt relief. It was unfortunate because there was no reason I should feel that way towards someone. We may have not gotten along and she has done horrible things towards me, but its still terrible that had to happen.
And for Scarlett to find her, that's truly the worst.
I raise my brows. "Why did you arrange to meet me just to tell me this? It's horrible, but it has nothing to do with me."
"Actually, that's where it gets interesting." Hudson slides me over an envelope.
It was addressed to me.
Slowly I opened it and pulled out what appeared to be a letter.
To the woman whom I could never defeat,
If you're reading this then it has finally happened, I am far away from the tragic story that is Greyson Blackstone and Sage Slade.
How pitiful that I felt the need to write a letter to someone I felt inferior too, despite me clearly being the better choice. But there are things that needed to be said and as I'm sure you're relieved of my departure, I am not happy with leaving this world without my final thoughts beaten into your memory.
For these last weeks I knew what was to come, I grew tired of fighting and the bad haircuts with it. So I took the latter option that my Doctor suggested for me, to live my remaining days without poisoning my bloodstream with life draining drugs.
You're probably wondering why I'm writing you and not smiling with the knowledge that before I died you didn't get the guy.
Well that is bullshit, I may have been bedridden but gossip works quick, I knew about Greyson's adventures to you. I know how you've led him on and remained with a man who clearly can't compare to a world class man like Greyson.
A part of me respects it, but a part of me truly hates you. I may have pushed you into leaving him at the alter but every decision after had nothing to do with me. When I did the things I did, it was to make sure the woman who would have the man of my dreams had a spine. In this world there are worse people than I, women who have physical proof of their sexual affairs with Greyson.
People who will try to ruin you.
Admittedly, I wanted him for myself but the moment I lied about his unborn daughter, I knew I had lost him forever.
Not to mention there was no way he was ever going to love me the way he did you and that is worth more than anything you've ever had your entire life. Greyson may have been a whore who toyed with your heart but that isn't him anymore. He's the kind've guy that changes all the horrible things about himself, that blocked him from the pain he currently feels, for the right girl.
Now the question is, will you continue to hold a grudge towards his past or grow the fuck up and get over it for a man who will spoil you with more than just the riches of the world? A man as fucked up as him, will love harder than any average guy you will meet in a lifetime.
Don't settle for what is safe because when has anything beautiful been conceived from being so? I would know for sure, I am a mother after all.
Before I rid myself of saying my final words to you, I ask one more thing.
Hoping you've gained a bit of sense and do whats right, I'm not asking you to be her mother but please be a strong womanly figure for my daughter. She is my legacy and despite my hatred towards you, at a young age you displayed a warmth that I could never provide to a child. Something she'll need after my demise.
This is my goodbye, this is my legacy, get it together and get that man.
Without love, Bianca.
When I finished the letter I felt like a complete idiot, the words of a dead woman seemed to have lit a bulb in my head. My fear for being with Greyson was far deeper than Bianca could even grasp, I fear if I am with him again I'll not only lose myself but become that insecure version of myself that I hate so much.
Bianca tried for years to gain his heart, she never wavered and she died without anyone to comfort her through it. Pushing even her own daughter away, which only backfired and had her find the body.
I began to cry. "It sucks that I can't hate her."
"You're telling me, that woman was awful." Richard scoffs. "Every encounter I had with her she always told me I was an adorable old man. Always patronizing me and picking on me like I was a child."
Hudson lifts a brow. "You realize you are an adorable old man though, right?"
"Hush, I am a flourishing gentleman." Richard protests.
I chuckle, then snapped back to reality. "I don't know what to do."
"Well," Richard stands up and fixes his coat. "I won't lie and say that my goal isn't to sell my son on you. But I believe you will be together once more. Greyson has been a very patient man and there's not many woman who have that pull on a man. Clearly you're more special than you believe you ever could be."
Hudson nods. "Truly we don't envy your position, I would feel horrible hurting someone else to achieve a happy ending, but I'd rather someone rip my heart out than being with me because I'm the safer alternative. I want someone to love me to the point it maddens me, not makes me settle."
"Well said." Richard sends an appreciative look towards Hudson, then looks back at me. "I hope you will make the choice that your heart truly wants. But if I'm going to tell the truth, I should be more than enough reason for you to return to us. I am truly a comedy act and your days will be filled with laughter, and if Greyson is an idiot just know you can come to me and we can speak horrible things about him. I may be his father but I'm not clueless to how my sons brain works."
I smile small. "Thanks Richard."
"Well we've got to go, Greyson has been in super Dad mode since Bianca's passing. I'm sure he hasn't been sleeping well and been obsessing over his daughters mental health." Hudson hugs me.
Richard hugs me next. "Yes, and as the comedic relief in everyone's lives, I must shine a light in a depressing time. That is the tragic story of the star of the Blackstone family."
"Take care." I look and see my Dad coming back from the distance.
The two men leave, sending their goodbyes to Dad and I. I clenched a hold of the letter and for the first time in a long time, I had to get over myself and as Bianca said 'grow the fuck up'.
~*~*~*~*~
Travis came over after a cryptic text I sent him, he still remained detached when I saw him. He'll probably never forgive me for how I treated him in this situation. I wouldn't ask for forgiveness either, I've been a terrible person.
The love I felt for Travis are because he brought me joy in a time where I was still hung up on Greyson. He gave me hope that even if Greyson and I were to never come back together, being alone didn't have to be it for me.
"You going to say something?" Travis crossed his arms, not even acknowledging me.
I figure there's no good time to do this so I don't waste time. "Travis, for the past few weeks I've been going through the motions, trying to do the right thing. For me that meant staying with you because you're a great guy and why would I ruin something that is for the most part perfect?"
Travis's jaw tightened, and he looked like he wanted to say something but didn't.
So I continued. "But I realize that me doing that helps no one, it just makes me feel less guilty about pursuing what I truly want. And in this case..."
"It's Greyson." Travis scoffed. "How long have you known? How long have you allowed him to pursue you?"
My lips part. "It's not like that."
"So you weren't feeding into a relationship with another man while being my girlfriend?" He chuckles dryly. "I can't believe this, what else did you have going on? Were you two fucking on the side too? Well that can't be true when I was the one in your bed day in and out."
I frown. "Travis I didn't do anything with him."
"Except you did." Travis stands up and is fuming. "You made him fall in love with you, like he said, and like a horrible person you won't take responsibility for it. Come on Sage, how can I compete with a guy like that? Why even try and make me believe it?"
I stood up. "I love you Travis, that wasn't a lie."
"If you loved me, the moment you began to think about staying with me out of pity would've never happened. If you loved me, you wouldn't falter being with anyone besides me. IF YOU LOVED ME, YOU WOULD'VE LIED TO HIM AND LET HIM GO!"
My eyes drop. "I'm sorry..."
"Sorry isn't enough, I wish I could hate you and believe you're just some fucking whore who likes to toy with men. But I have been with you long enough to know you're too nice, to the point you won't go for what you want so I won't be hurt. And that's the girl I fell in love with, I'm the idiot who fell in love with you and yet the victim in this is you." Travis chokes up. "Just say the words Sage, do what you couldn't do for him, to me."
I walk towards him. "But—"
"Say. The. Words!" He shouts.
I do as he said. "I love him, I love him so much I'm willing to hurt someone like you. I love him so much I hate the world without him. I love him so much...I was selfish and couldn't let him go."
Travis nods his head. "Finally, the fucking truth."
"I'm so sorry...I wanted it to be you but it has to be him."
There was a silence and I began to cry, Travis immediately hugs me. "I wanted it to be me too."
"I'm so sorry."