If there's one thing Kaminari Denki hates more than written tests, it's early mornings. However...
With droopy eyes and a lethargic body, the electric blond swayed side-to-side in drowsiness, with his pink female companion doing the same beside him. Mina could barely stand upright with her sleepy state, as could he, because they're still in their pyjamas, and it's four in the fucking morning on a Sunday! He swears if this is a prank, because--
What psychopath would carry their unconscious bodies from their beds then bring them in the middle of a forest, only to wake them with clanking cooking pans? Hatake Kakashi, that's the psychopath.
The silver-head is easily climbing his way up to Kaminari's top spot of his things to hate.
CLANK! CLANK!
Both Kaminari and Ashido flinched at the cooking utensils' noises, their half-lidded eyes instantly glaring at the audacious jounin.
"I said: wakey, wakey! It's time for training!" Kakashi announced rather too cheerfully for this ungodly hour, before throwing away the pans at a random direction.
"Training?!" Mina exclaimed, her eyes now alertly wide.
"It's 4am!" Kaminari followed, his body now filled with adrenaline at the prospect of working out this early in the morning. This guy is literally Satan, Denki easily concluded to himself. Never in his life has he known a person that could possess such assholery.
"We did an all-nighter, so you don't get to complain. We're all in this together," Kakashi attempted to placate with an (irritating) eye-smile, his hand landing on your shoulder, as if to seek approval from you.
"Kakashi, when I said we should train them as soon as possible, I was implying we do it in daylight," You said, rubbing your temple to rid an upcoming headache. It's obvious that your partner missed being a sadist towards his genin team, but since Team 7 technically graduated from his tutelage, the two teens became the next outlet for his sadism. How unfortunate for them.
On the bright side, he's early... Albeit, too early.
"Why is she the only sane one out of the two of you?!" The blond whined, suddenly latching onto you, his face burrowing on your chest. "Spare us!"
"Why are you begging to her? I'm your trainer for today," Kakashi's smile persisted, but his eye twitched at how the teen strategically took the opportunity to place his head on your bosom.
"Because she has more common sense than you!" Kaminari retorted, as you only attempted to will your migraine away. Your migraine episodes are starting to become a bit too regular ever since you arrived in this world.
"Alright, because of that answer, the two of you are sparring me; no quirks allowed," Kakashi declared, with Kaminari easily letting go of you from the shock, as he and Ashido openly gawked at the man.
That is a major disadvantage, they both thought helplessly.
They vividly remember how the two of you were forces to be reckoned with, as they can't think of anyone with the same prowess when it comes to your hand-to-hand combat skills. Even when it's two against one, if an army of villains can't even land a hit on him, how could they?
Their asses are so kicked.
"We're not even wearing our training clothes!" Mina tried to reason, but once again, the jounin's eyes crinkled into crescent shapes, only to respond with:
"Not my problem. But first, stretches!"
~*~*~
"What time do we operate?" Sasuke asked, his body unmoving from his futon, as his singular eye just blankly stared at their bedroom's ceiling. Sakura briefly glanced at the digital alarm clock hanging on the wall, whilst still lying down.
"It's 6:17am now and there's light outside, so maybe it's normal for vigilantes to act now?" The pinkette was rather unsure, as all vigilantes she researched had differing time schedules.
"I thought they operate at night," Naruto supplied, adjusting his body to glance at the nearby window; his water bed wobbled at his movement.
"It's usually for stealth purposes, but since we're ninjas, we won't get caught even in broad daylight," The noir confidently stated. "I'm willing to work whenever. I'm just asking you guys if you feel like it. (Y/n)-nee already gave us the greenlight,"
"Which of our abilities do we use though? It's only one pow--quirk..? per person, right?" Naruto inquired, his lethargy being consumed by the typical Uzumaki hyperactivity. He settled entertaining himself by making various motions to play with the water bed (it's so bouncy and jiggly like a gelatin).
"Can be two, but those are rare. Kakashi-sensei said that whatever we choose shouldn't be lethal," Sakura informed. "Obviously, I'll stick with healing. What about you guys?"
"Shadow clones, definitely! My shadow clones never fail me. I get to be in more places at once and beat up more bad guys that way, dattebayo!" Naruto grinned, his foxy whiskers highlighting his mischief. "And maybe do a few pranks here and there,"
"I'm disappointed to say that I expected that from our deadlast," Sasuke snorted, before barely moving from his position and one-handedly catching the pillow the blond threw at him.
"Shut up, teme! I can't waste opportunities!"
"How's your seal?" Sakura shifted the topic, easily deciding that it's way too early for the two boys' banters. She's still a bit sluggish from sleep, as she forgot how much rest her twelve-year-old self needed. Still, at least she retained her physical skills. With her excess Yin chakra, she'll recover her Byakugou seal approximately in two weeks.
"Oh, it's back to the way it's been. Kurama has free reign again," So Kurama-mode is back in his repertoire, the pinkette thought. Not like they actually need the Kyuubi's power so far.
"How about your sharingan?" Sakura directed her question towards Sasuke, to which he just hummed in contemplation before answering. So far, they just know that Sasuke's only functioning dojutsu was Obito's.
"I already have my sharingan, theoretically. I think I just need to trigger it again," Sasuke subconsciously brushed a hand over the hitai-ate covering Obito's sharingan.
"How did you first trigger it?" Naruto pressed on.
"(Y/n)-nee suspected I awakened my sharingan after the massacre, so she taught me how to activate it. She intimidated me with a quick but potent Killing Intent, and that's about it," The Uchiha shrugged, before lamenting. "Although, after all the shit we've been through, I doubt something as meagre as Killing Intent would work anymore,"
"Technically, you just need a stressor, right?" Sakura clarified, to which the noir only grunted in confirmation.
"Stressor? So like, he just needs to be mad or scared, right?" The Uzumaki questioned, sitting up from his bed to look at his still-lying-down teammates.
"Yeah, certain hormones can activate the sharingan. Maybe I can manually activate them with medical ninjutsu," The pinkette directed her suggestion towards Sasuke, but before the boy could reply, Naruto answered for him.
"No need, Sakura-chan! I know just the thing to have him panic!" With renewed energy, the blond tackled the unprepared Uchiha, having the noir wheeze at the sudden weight on his stomach.
"Tch, idiot. Fighting you isn't enough of a stressor," Sasuke sneered, as Naruto's grin grew wider.
"No, but this is!" Glancing at the team medic, Naruto's mischievous look already had Sakura curious where this would lead. "Quick, Sakura-chan! Hold his hands down!"
If Sakura really was her twelve-year-old self, she wouldn't even think of showing her interest in making trouble like how she reacted back then towards Kakashi-sensei's eraser prank... however, she was long past her genin days. She embraced her inner mischievous side wholeheartedly.
Sakura didn't hesitate getting up from her futon and pinning Sasuke's wrists down beside his head, as asked.
Now, two members of Team 7 were hovering over the Uchiha.
Sasuke didn't struggle, as he was honestly curious towards what they plan on doing. If it's to activate the sharingan, he can let them have a go. He can't think of anything they could do that would be too bad for his standards.
He immediately came to regret that decision.
Sasuke's face scrunched up in disgust when Naruto picked his nose and drew out one of the biggest boogers the noir has ever seen.
"Ew! Naruto! Haha!" Sakura only laughed, as she knew what the blond was about to do next.
"Alright, that's enough. That can't possibly work," The Uchiha bluffed his conviction of failure towards their upcoming plan, now trying to pull his arms free from the pinkette's grip. Alas, he can't do much against her monstrous strength.
The finger holding Naruto's booger was slowly descending towards Sasuke's mouth, much to the noir's horror.
"I've been covered in grime, dirt, and blood for days back then; this isn't a worse experience. Sakura, you can let go now," Sasuke will forever deny to acknowledge that his tone came out pleading at that last bit.
"Not enough of a stressor my ass," Naruto smirked deviously, as his booger was slowly going down, down, down-- shit, Sasuke can closely see the protruding nose hairs and a trail of snot from the solid mucus.
"Usuratonkachi, I fucking swear if you don't stop that--" The Uchiha desperately reeled away from the blond's descending appendage. "Dobe, I will end you, you hear me?! You too, Sakura!" Sasuke tried moving his feet to kick off the blond but to no avail.
Other than his own erratic heartbeat, all Sasuke could hear was their sinister laughter.
"Dobe, fuck off, I mean it! Dobe!" Kami, It's nearing his mouth! "Sakura, stop being annoying and let me go!"
"Only if you activate your sha-rin-gan~" Naruto's grin stretched from ear to ear, along with Sakura's.
"NARUTO! SAKURA!"
It's inches near his face!
...Then centimeters... millimeters--
And then Sasuke's vision of his surroundings sharpened.
"Huh, what'd you know? It worked," Sakura uttered out with wonder, before easing her grip off from Sasuke's wrists. The noir wasted no time to push the Uzumaki off his torso.
"See? Stressor!" Naruto proudly stated, before casually flicking his booger away at the open window (despite living in an expensive penthouse, they prefer the air of the cold night to lull them to sleep rather than use the air conditioner that's too noisy for shinobi standards). Sasuke glared at the blond with his newly activated sharingan.
"Idiots-- the two of you." He grumbled, to which they typically paid no heed to.
(Sasuke tried to get rid of the detailed picture of the dobe's booger from his head, but alas the photographic memory gifted to him by his sharingan won't let him.)
"It's times like this when I'm relieved that (Y/n)-sensei puts up privacy seals," Sakura off-handedly remarked with a snicker, before rummaging within their belongings to pull out their animal masks; the fox, hawk, and badger. "Anyway, now that we're all fully awake, wanna start our Team 7 vigilante debut?"
Later that day, Musutafu city was introduced to three new vigilantes—Kitsune, Mujina, and Taka. And later that night, the same city had a great drop of crime rates, hero activity, and death rates from local hospitals.
~*~*~
"Your performance is... it has room for improvements," You attempted to sugarcoat, but everyone immediately saw right through it.
"Just say," Mina huffed. "We sucked," She lied down on the grass, her lungs heaving and her sweat cascading body, as she was exhausted from the continuous three-hour sparring with barely a few minute breaks in-between.
Suffice to say, their bodies, pyjamas, and their morning had been ruined.
"Right, you are!" Kakashi exclaimed, snapping his R-rated book shut; his form was clearly not as worn out as the two students'. He barely even broke a sweat.
"Go back... to hell," Kaminari's groan was muffled, with his face planted flatly on the ground. The bruises-- he can feel them forming.
"Sorry, no can do. I'm out of vacation days," Kakashi quipped, before continuing. "Your fighting styles are so terrible, I wouldn't even consider them as styles; too many blind spots, too predictable, and too sloppy," The silver-haired jounin criticized without filter, and the two didn't even have the energy to react but to breathe laboriously. Even so, their despondency was still discernable.
"However," You followed, hoping to lift their spirits. "Your body builds are acceptable, and you have your own individual strengths that can be honed with proper guidance,"
"Maah, I was about to tell them that," Kakashi whined to you, but you only elbowed his side because you know he planned on making their disappointment in themselves fester longer. Once upon a time, he did the same to you, the sadistic prick. "Alright, you—" He pointed at Kaminari. "—have good reflexes, and you—" He pointed at Ashido. "—are a heavy hitter,"
When he didn't follow up an explanation, you took over.
"Although, I suggest that instead of mindlessly blocking and dodging, you should use your fast reflexes to counter instead. The best defense is a good offense. Also, avoid closing your eyes; never do that in a fight. You need to watch every one of your enemy's movements," You expounded to Kaminari, before moving on to Ashido. "While you're a heavy hitter, you waste too much time building up momentum for your hits, and recovering after delivering those hits. So, I suggest training your speed and maneuverability to give your attacks the same effectiveness no matter your position,"
Huh, those actually sounded like good tips, unlike what Kakashi just told them, Mina couldn't help but think to herself. The silver-headed jounin seems to be the off-hands-approach kind of teacher, who just lets his students figure things out for themselves. You, however, are the opposite of that, though not exceedingly so for your teaching methods to be considered as spoon-feeding.
"Okay, with that out of the way, I know just the katas to teach the two of you," Kakashi announced cheerily, clapping his hands.
"Training is not yet over?!" Mina's body further melted on the ground, additionally exhausted at the thought of more training.
"Well, of course, after all it's only," Kakashi looked at the position of the sun. "8-something-ish. We finish at 5pm," In the jounin's opinion, that's a reasonable time, however the looks of the two teens gave him spoke otherwise of his judgement.
"No way! We're hungry, thirsty, and tired!" Kaminari whined, while your partner typically smiled at them.
"Don't worry, you guys get to have a water break!" The Hatake said, before placing two bottles of water and ration bars next to them.
"Water br—that's still not enough!" The blond cried out, finally lifting his face from the ground albeit with great effort. "Our bodies hurt!"
"Let me fix that," You sighed, before kneeling near them, your hands glowing a soft green and placing them on their heads. The effects of your medical ninjutsu were immediate.
"That's... honestly really comfortable," Mina remarked, relaxing under your touch.
"Have I ever told you that you're a literal angel?" Kaminari praised, breathing out a sigh of relief at the feeling of his muscles quickly recovering.
(You've been told that plenty of times by Shisui, and one time, surprisingly, from Itachi.)
Once done, you retrieved your hands from them, and once again, stood by Kakashi's side. The two students then had enough energy to sit upright and quickly devour their ration bar and their bottle of water.
"Alright, now to teach you genin katas that you could probably memorize in a day," Kakashi announced, before Mina voiced out her concerns.
"Shouldn't we start on physical conditioning first before fighting stances?" You were chuffed at the fact that they questioned your methods, which meant that they have a mind of their own and would not follow authority blindly.
(It was your first mistake as a genin.)
"Good point," You smiled. "Like I mentioned earlier, your body builds are above average compared to a civilian's, which is what Shinsou technically is now,"
Mina vaguely remembered you discussing your plan with Kakashi involving the purple-haired boy. Something about having a witness or something so that Principal Nezu can't have you reveal too much of your tucked-in cards.
"The goal for now is for you two to be familiar how we fight; so, that tomorrow, you can show Shinsou what you're realistically capable of. Thus, your principal can't blindly invent approximates with our capabilities, since Shinsou will be our safety net of what you can and cannot do. We can work with physical conditioning with him after an assessment spar tomorrow." You explained, before Kaminari just scratched his head with mild disbelief.
"You guys are seriously playing 4D chess with the principal; it's unreal."
Well, you have to protect the true nature of your circumstances from outsiders as best as you can. After all, you can only predict so much of what would happen if authorities were to figure out that two hero students are being occupied by two unknowns.
~*~*~
OMAKE: Teaching Before Team 7 (1/3)
OMAKE 1: Sasuke with Ninja Wire
Your age: 13
Sasuke's age: 6
"Hey Sasuke, why the long face?" You greeted with a smile, watching the frustrated boy throw shurikens at a wooden post—none hit the bullseye, but it still stuck at the target.
"Nii-san is too busy from a mission to teach me... again," He sighed, before running towards the practice dummy to pull out his projectile weapons.
"I see," Ever since Itachi joined ANBU, he spent less and less of his time at home, and consequently, his little brother. If Itachi ever were to have his occasional (but short) free times, he would use it with training and honing his skills—something Sasuke can't accomplish with you and Shisui, as the only two individuals that can keep Itachi on his toes other than his ANBU squadron.
"When is he coming back?" He asked, his doe-like black eyes staring at you, anticipating your answer, and hoping that maybe your answer would be favorable for him.
"Sometime today, I've heard," You said, and he perked up at this. Despite what you said was true, it does not guarantee the fact that Itachi would have time to train him, much less spend time with him. While you do admire the Uchiha heir's diligence for his duty, you ought to knock some sense into him and remind him why he's doing his damnedest in the first place. "Hey, how about I teach you for a change?"
At your suggestion, an excited smile plastered itself on Sasuke's baby face.
"Really?! You'll teach me how to throw shuriken?" He immediately made his way to you, bouncing.
"I won't lie to you, I'm not the best shuriken-thrower in our little group," You humbly stated. "That title rightfully belongs to Itachi, while Shisui is best with kunai, and I'm best at senbon. Though, I don't think you're the senbon type," Sasuke pouted at this.
"Then... what could you teach me?"
With a smile growing into a grin, you fished out a ninja wire from your weapon pouch.
"I'll teach you how to lay traps with ninja wires."
...
As unofficially scheduled, Shisui ventured towards the training ground you usually train in, and it struck him odd that you're hanging out by the tree-populated part of the property, rather than the open fields. Shrugging, he followed after your fixed chakra signature, immediately taking notice of a smaller one next to you.
Once he arrived at the general area, he then recognized that the smaller chakra signature was that tyke who was insistent at showing his displeasure towards him whenever he can—Sasuke.
(Sasuke actually has a legitimate reason why he doesn't like Shisui; particularly, his pranks.)
"Yo! How's my most favorite person and least favorite person in the world?!" He waved at you, a stupid grin plastered on his face, and then—oh!
He narrowly dodged a trap wire that triggered at the slightest pressure of his step—the trap not fast enough to capture him; he is, after all, Shunshin no Shisui. Obviously, it was made by an amateur, with the wire not being stretched enough to have a 'snap' effect at set-off.
"Aw..." He heard Sasuke whine, and he can't help but gloat.
"Nice try, Sasu-cakes, but you need to work more on tying tight kn—" The moment Shisui took another step forward, a seal glowed and he heard the particular snap of a ninja wire.
The next thing he knew, his ankles were caught, and he's now hanging upside down by a tree, watching such sadistic glee from the smaller Uchiha.
Huh... So this is why you're at the forest part of the training ground.
"Y'see that, (Y/n)-nee?! I caught him!" Sasuke proudly exclaimed, puffing his chest out to you.
"Indeed, you did," You said, patting his head, before smirking at the dangling Uchiha who's swinging side-to-side. "I told you, making him underestimate the first trap would lower his guard on the actual trap,"
"No fair, you placed a seal-based genjutsu on the second trap!" Shisui couldn't help but defend himself, as you only raised an amused brow. As a seal mistress, you were one of the few that could apply seals on traps that could even hinder someone as fast as him.
"True, but it was still Sasuke who planted the trap," Sasuke 'hmphed' in satisfaction at your defense.
"Hmm, hold on, isn't this a scene from Icha-Icha? Do I get my upside-down kiss?" Shisui joked, his face red from the blood rushing to his head.
"You actually read those?" You snickered, but the younger boy did not take the curly-haired teen's joke well.
"NO! (Y/n)-nee is gonna kiss and marry nii-san, so that she gets to live with us and actually become my nee-chan!" Sasuke declared, before facing you with puppy-like eyes, tugging the hem of your shirt. "Right, (Y/n)-nee?!"
"Heh, maybe," You humored with a placating smile, as Sasuke preened at himself for playing matchmaker.
"Cheeky brat," Shisui uttered out under his breath, which had the smaller Uchiha glare at him.
Sasuke then picked up a stray branch, and held it threateningly at the dangling Uchiha.
"Let's make him explode like a watermelon!" The boy announced, preparing to swing, as Shisui's eyes widened.
"H-hey, now, let's not do things we might regret!" Shisui attempted to placate.
"C'mon, Sasuke, we don't hit fellow shinobi," You put a hand steadily at the branch within Sasuke's hold, silently pleading at him with a smile.
"Yes! Listen to your (Y/n)-nee!" Shisui seconded, attempting to reach for his kunai pouch (why does it have to be strapped on his leg? Why can't it be a belt instead?)
"But he casted a genjutsu on a bell pepper and made me think it was a tomato!" Sasuke cried out, pointing at Shisui in accusation.
"Because Itachi asked me to! You need to eat a balanced diet!" Shisui tried to justify, but Sasuke only fumed.
"Nii-san would never do that!"
"Exactly, that's why he made me do it!" Shisui exclaimed, exasperated. Meanwhile, you only watched their back-and-forth banter with mild amusement.
"Also, it was him," Sasuke suddenly stated to you, and it would seem Shisui already caught wind of what he meant, while you only pondered what the child was pertaining to.
"O-okay, how about only one swing, and we'll call it even—" Shisui tempted, but you were curious.
"Him, what?" You inquired, tilting your head.
"Remember when you baked a tomato pie for my birthday and it landed on your face with the snake girl watching?" You internally winced at the memory of Anko's howls of laughter when the pie you were about to bring to Sasuke's birthday flew out of your hold and landed on your head. Anko labelled you as Tomato-Head for months with how red your face was with both embarrassment and tomato sauce. It was all thanks to a stray kunai with an unknown culprit who refused to reveal himself.
Suddenly, your realization clicked into place.
"Sasuke, you promised you won't tell! I even bribed you with tomatoes!" Shisui whined, before shrinking at the glare and sinister smile you were giving him.
"Alright Sasuke, it's time for lesson two. I'll show you which vital spots to hit when in a spar. This training is called Shi-suikawari."
[Note: Suikawari is a traditional Japanese game that involves splitting a watermelon with a stick while blindfolded.]
"I'm sorry! I'll make it up to you! I—Itai!"
It was Sasuke who took the first of many swings.
...
Itachi arrived later that day on an afternoon, only to see his best friend dangling on a wire, being hit with a stick by his little brother, and surprisingly, you just stood by, watching.
"Itachi, help me!" Shisui begged.
"Nii-san! Look at what I did!" Sasuke called out, the moment the boy spotted him, showcasing the weird display. "I know how to use ninja wires now!"
"I... see." Itachi uttered out, before looking at you for an explanation.
"It's payback." You said, as if that was enough of a clarification.
"I said I was sorry!" The curly-haired teen whined, as you only smiled at him with anything but pleasure.
"I would have been merciful a year ago. If only you admitted then, ne?"
"Itachiiii!" Shisui called out for him, but Itachi is a prodigy. He knows when and when not to interfere with a woman's revenge; this circumstance applies to the latter. After all, he is familiar with the phrase: 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'.
Shisui is on his own.
~*~*~
yall, its so wild that this book started off as crack but then it grew popular and I just had to extend its lore to not disappoint lmao. this book wasnt even meant to be serious and yet here we are; full plot, backstory and everything asfghjkl. I wont lie to yall, this book veered from its original plot at chapter "A Killer's Intent".
Also eyoo, new book cover is by TsunamiCrash! Again, thank you!!