Chapter 37: Somebody Mixed My Medicine.
My attention was drawn to the shaded hallway to see Maria standing there hesitantly. When she and I made eye contact she turned on her heel and went back into the bedroom. Daylon had let go of my hand to go play with his toys. I got up and backtracked to the bedroom. Maria was sitting on the edge of the bed, hands caressing our unborn child.
"Every night I prayed that you were alive, now I wish you were dead." Her words ripped through my flesh easily. I stood in the doorway and nodded with my heart cracking and sinking inside my chest.
"I was finally getting used to you not being here. Now you're back. Why? Why did you leave me when you promised to me that you wouldn't. No matter what happens, you'll always be here to protect us. And if you think for one minute that what you did was protecting us, you deserve to be beaten again." Again her words stabbed me mercilessly. I knew I deserve all the hurtful things she said to me. I deserve it all.
Maria stood up from the bed, her arms cradled our baby as she effortlessly glided over to me. I braced myself to be beaten again, but what happened instead took me by surprise. Maria gently placed one of her hands on my chest, over my heart. She felt it beating through the black tee shirt and closed her eyes with tears dripping down her face. She rubbed her lips together before opening her big blue eyes and looking up at me. Her ocean blue eyes were glassy and filled with emotions I put there.
"I fucking hate you but I never want you to leave me again." She told me with a childish voice. My hands automatically cupped her face, my thumbs stroked the tears away.
"I promise." I whispered then pressed my lips to her forehead.
When I brought my lips away from her forehead she looked up at me with a wicked smile, her hand left my heart and touched the dark hair that covered the tattoos. Her eyes found mine.
"I've never seen you with this much hair before." She smiled and glowed brightly. I felt a bit of blush invade my face. I nodded at her in agreement. She has never seen me with this much hair, I've always sported that Mohawk. But as happy as I was finally being able to wrap my arms around her and have her warm body close to mine, I had to break the bad news to her.
"Maria, we have to get Percy from School then we need to leave Charming." I told her bluntly, I know she'll ask questions but for now she needs to listen to me. Just like expected, her eyebrows narrowed and a puzzled look painted her features.
"What? Why?" She quizzically questioned. I smacked my lips together and sighed softly. I hated that I had to tell her what is about to go down in Charming. She'll be so upset and I can't deal with that. I can't deal with hurting her again, not twice in a day.
"Because, Charming is too dangerous for our family." I told her simply. She shook her head.
"As much as I hate this damn club, it is our family. Gemma and Jax are the only blood family I have left. I'm not about to abandon them; they didn't abandon me when I needed someone." Maria protested against leaving. Gemma cleared her throat from behind me.
"Hunny, we'll be fine. We're strong people,"
"So am I." Maria pointed out.
"Jax doesn't know Juice is back. Jax will kill him for real this time. Now get your children and run. Don't ever come back to Charming." I watched as Maria's eyes filled up with tears again, her face paled as she brushed passed me to share a solemn expression with Gemma. Gemma was getting teary eyed as she looked down at the girl she considered a daughter. Maria wrapped her arms around Gemma and hugged her tightly before they parted from each other.
"Where will we go?" Maria asked plainly. I smiled shyly at her and stroked her long blonde hair soothingly. She didn't have to worry about that. Where does she think I've been staying these couple of months?
"I rented a house in Santa Monica, we'll go there." I told her honestly with a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. Maria looked at me with a sad but accepting look. She gave me a small nod of agreement. Luckily she didn't have to worry about us going back to the house, Gemma and Chibs helped me pack away everything and load it up in a truck. The only thing I left behind was an open door and my kutte. I sold the furniture so that gave us a couple grand more than what I originally had. Gemma helped pack what Maria had here, Chibs put Daylon in his car seat while I transferred the money from Maria's bank account to a new one then closed it. I made sure no one could track us down. I didn't want Jax finding out where I took his little cousin. Hopefully Gemma helps us stay hidden. No one knows where we are going besides Gemma and Chibs; even that's risky.
Maria, oh how she tries to keep me in one piece, but the truth is I've been broken for a long time; it's only now that she's seeing the cracks. I've damaged this club far beyond repair, I've damaged Maria far beyond repair. There are things that I've done for the sake of my family that'll most likely get me killed. I know that for sure. Maria sees the beauty in me, she sees the innocence of the child I once was; but I know she now sees a growing darkness, like a swarm of flies too thick to see through. She's trying to make them scatter, she's the only one who can make them scatter. It's true, what I said to her, about the innocence behind her eyes burning so brightly. She still has that light but it's been dulled since I met her. There are times where I think maybe I should've left her where she was. Like a flower it is beautiful but once you pick it, it dies. She's my sunflower and I picked her; she's lasted longer than most while maintaining her bright innocence. But I can see it dying in her eyes. And that kills me. Hopefully leaving Charming; leaving the club, that'll put a spark back in her eyes.