The following day, sunlight peeked through the blinds. I tried to stretch but couldn't. I almost smiled, realizing I couldn't move because Griffin's legs were tangled with mine and his arm was still around my waist. His eyes fluttered, still shut.
I shifted, making him groan as my soft black hair curtained his face.
"Go back to sleep, Grey."
"We're going to miss the bus," I tried to insist, wriggling out from underneath his grasp.
"I'll get us a ride back," he said, digging his face into my neck and pulling me back closer to him.
I laughed, shaking my head. The scent of his woodsy cologne and proximity to his warm skin was comforting, making it harder to get out of bed. "I promised Taylor I'd sit next to her on the ride back."
"You're ditching me again?" he said sleepily, his eyes fluttering open as he gave me a lazy smile.
"You'll just have to get through the ride without me," I teased.
"I get you for a sleepover again soon then," he said, using his hand to trace lines on my bare skin.
"Promise," I said, feeling a thrill of excitement run down my spine as I realized we had all the time in the world to lie together.
"And an actual date," he said, observing my reaction. For the first time, I think I saw a flicker of shyness across Griffin Keely's face. "So, do you think you can save some time for me, Haven Grey?"
"Always," I said, trying not to beam like an idiot.
Griffin gave me a boyish grin in return.
I didn't want to leave. I wanted to keep looking at that smile, saving it until it was a memory. If I could, I'd lay in bed all day with him, talking about constellations and daydreams, wondering how I had gotten so lucky.
"Did you talk to Luce?" Griffin said, still trailing his fingers on my palm.
Her reflection flashed in my mind. "What happened to Darian was an accident," I said. "There was no foul play involved. She felt terrible knowing he was Natasha's brother, but she's doing okay."
Griffin nodded, bringing my hand to his lips before kissing it softly. "And you?" His voice was husky as he looked at me under dark lashes.
"What about me?"
"Are you okay after finding Natasha's secret after all these years?"
"It explains why she didn't trust anyone," I said. "Part of me feels like I won't be okay. Like she took that chance away from me the moment she left."
It would be easy to write off Natasha's death as a suicide.
A girl, broken by her brother's death, ends her life to join him.
Too easy to be true.
But what was I going to do? Find her alleged killer from the depth of nowhere? Every time I found a suspect, they weren't guilty. All it did was send me into a rabbit hole of more lies, more secrets.
"Maybe everyone else was right." I let out a sigh. "Maybe I'm chasing after something that doesn't exist."
Griffin played with a strand of my hair before tucking it behind my ear. "That doesn't mean we stop looking. We're so close, Haven. Remember what we said in the beginning?" His gaze was serious. "No backing down."
"No backing down," I repeated, leaning in to kiss him. I felt him smile against my own, pulling me closer until all thoughts of anyone else evaporated. His hand gently grazed my back, and I shivered slightly.
"We have to get ready," I breathed.
"They can wait," he replied, flipping me around, so I was under him.
I squealed, treading my hands through his hair. "You're. Trouble."
"So are you."
"We're going to be late," I said, pretending I didn't want him to kiss me, even though I never wanted him to stop.
The familiar sparkle in his eyes let me know he was going to say something stupid.
"We could save time by showering together —"
"Nope!" Before he could finish his sentence, I waved at him and hurried out, closing the door behind me. Even though I hadn't seen his face, I knew he was laughing.
After brushing and showering, I changed into a full-sleeved crop top, a black drawstring hoodie, and sneakers. I threw the old set of clothes into my duffle bag and zipped it up, slinging it over my shoulder and heading out to the front where the bus pulled up. I saw Luce standing there, bundled up in sweatpants and a hoodie.
"Morning," I greeted as we found seats near each other.
"How was your night?" she asked. "My butt is so sore from falling on those damn slopes. Hey, how come you look so happy? Did you have some of that special stash Jeremy kept talking about?"
Taylor walked up the bus steps at that moment, cutting her off. Before I could say anything, Luce widened her eyes and turned her focus to Taylor instead.
"You have the post-sex glow!" she accused, pointing a finger at Taylor.
"Want to be louder?" Taylor groaned, shoving her sunglasses up her nose to cover the bags under her eyes as she plopped down next to me. "I'm hungover. Actually, I think I'm still drunk."
I couldn't help laughing. Taylor's typically put-together appearance was out of place, and her blonde hair was messy, sticking to the hood of her windbreaker. She glared at me. "Why are you laughing? I heard you slept with Griffin."
Luce turned to me, her mouth dropping open. "Do either of my best friends even remember I exist anymore? You and Griffin? You and Jeremy? Since when the hell—"
"I didn't sleep with him!" I exclaimed. "Well, I did, but we slept." I pantomimed sleeping by closing my eyes, and I heard Taylor laugh.
"I believe her," Luce said expertly, swinging her ponytail. "She doesn't have the post-sex glow."
"What the hell is a post-sex glow?" Taylor said.
I laughed, pulling her into a hug before she could argue with Luce. It had been a while since the three of us had gotten to bond, but it felt like no time had passed. She leaned her head on my shoulder and mumbled, "He's a good kisser."
"So, there'll be round two?" I teased.
"Well, it'll technically be round three for us." She smiled, then moved her sunglasses back down to peer at me. "Um, you're not off the hook, though. Griffin? Since when?"
Luce surveyed my face and let out a small breath. "Since we were too stupid to see it for ourselves," she realized, shaking her head. "Wow, we're shitty best friends."
"No, you guys aren't," I tried to argue, waving off her guilty expression. "I just learned you don't know what you have until you lose it. And I'm not ready to lose him again. I like him. A lot." I bit my lip, feeling the familiar swirl of anticipation in my stomach.
"Do you think Natasha would care?" Taylor asked. She didn't sound like she was judging- she sounded genuinely curious.
"I don't know," I said. "But I feel like she'd want us to move on."
After my conversation with Luce last night, I knew I had been holding onto old, bittersweet memories and wounds that hadn't healed. If I wanted any chance of moving on, I had to leave the darkness behind.
That meant letting Natasha go, too.
The bus doors swung open. Cari entered, her cheeks rosy-red from the cold. As she walked in, there were a few hushed whispers.
"Hey, Cari," Dean called. "You want to sit next to me? I'm no Natasha, but I could make for even better company." He winked at her suggestively, and my blood boiled.
"Dean's such a sleaze," Luce muttered. "Like Cari hasn't dealt with enough."
I looked at Cari. She froze in her spot, her eyes darting between Dean and the rest of the students.
"Are you going to say something, or just stand there looking like somebody died? Oh shit. My bad. Wrong choice of words." Dean grinned, eating up the attention of the surrounding kids. There were a few hushed whispers and stifled laughs, and amidst it all, Cari stood there, frozen.
Stand up for yourself, Cari.
"You know, I have my suspicions about who Killer Cupid could be," Dean said. "You want to hear my guess?" He stood up, walking closer to her. His cold brown eyes, darker than firewood, landed on her face, a sick smile coming to his lips. "I think ... I think your looney friend planned this whole thing. She wanted a way to stay relevant, and this was her only option."
"Stop," Cari whispered.
"But now that she's gone," Dean said, "I'd watch out. Before you're... next!" He lurched at her. Cari instantly stumbled backward, tripping over the ledge. Before she could steady herself, she fell to the ground, her palms hitting the floor.
Cari looked up, noticing everyone looking at her. Her bottom lip quivered, and she looked at the cut on her palm. Blood trickled down the sleeve of her sweater. Her eyes filled with tears, but she was quiet.
"Hey, what's going on back there?" Principal Moore's voice boomed from the front.
Dean cursed underneath his breath. "Shit. Get up, freak. I can't afford another suspension."
Principal Moore's voice was getting closer. Cari stayed on the ground, looking at her bruised palms.
"I said, get up!" Dean's voice was louder now, and Cari winced.
She stood up on her own, shaking. "Nothing, Principal Moore. I just... I just stumbled." Her voice caught, but she cleared her throat so he wouldn't notice.
"Everyone should grab a seat before the bus moves."
She nodded, blinking back tears.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. "Cari." I tried to call her, and her lifeless eyes flashed in my direction for a second. Instead of saying anything, she turned away, finding an empty seat.
The bus lurched before pulling out of the parking lot. I returned to my seat, trying not to think about her. Taylor went to sleep with her head on my shoulder. All I could think about the entire ride was Cari's broken reflection.
The smooth buzz of the bus was the only sound that filled the air for the next few hours. Eventually, the bus pulled in front of our school. We piled out, getting ready to get our luggage from the back. I hauled my navy-blue suitcase from the trunk. Before I could move it, I felt a tap on my shoulder.
"Haven. Can I talk to you?" Kai said. "In private?" There was something in her eyes — a flicker of nervousness.
"Of course." We walked to the side, pulling away from the crowd. "Is everything okay?"
She licked her lips, avoiding my gaze. "I lied to you that day, by the locker. I told you I had a feeling that I knew who Killer Cupid was, and then I backed out because I was scared that he'd come after me next."
He?
My heart thudded against my chest. "Do you — do you know who it is?"
"There's something that happened the night of Valentine's Day that I never told you about. It could change everything." She shook her head, her eyes meeting mine. "I couldn't bring myself to tell you before, but I recorded the whole thing. I knew it was wrong, and I fought with myself about showing it to you, but ... not anymore."
She held up her phone, her eyes steady on mine. "I think you need to watch this."
Before I could say anything, she pressed play.
--
Valentine's Day Party
9:42 PM
The party was full-fledged downstairs — the DJ played loud music, and kids got progressively drunker. But that couldn't bother Willow; she was a little preoccupied at the moment.
Willow moaned as he kissed her, his finger teasing the hem of her skirt before they slid down her shirt. His hands were everywhere, as if he couldn't get enough of her, and she loved that. At the sudden sound of footsteps approaching, she hurriedly tried to lift the straps of her tank top over her shoulders, moving away.
"Shit," she muttered as she caught sight of the straggler. "What the hell are you looking at?" Then her eyes squinted in surprise.
"Natasha? Aren't you supposed to be quote-unquote, missing?" She laughed. "Or was that just for some attention because Griffin wasn't giving you any?"
But Natasha wasn't looking at her.
Her eyes fixated on the boy she was with, his familiar blonde curls now slightly messy from being pressed against the wall. His face twisted, a mixture of guilt and fear.
Justin.
"Natasha," Justin said, stepping closer to her.
"You're still dating Haven, aren't you?" she said.
"Please don't tell her," he said, grabbing her wrist. "You don't understand. I made a mistake. We're not good right now, and I was just angry and upset —"
"Let me go."
He didn't, and she wriggled her wrist out of his hand, suddenly nervous by the look of intensity on his face. "Let go!"
He finally dropped her wrist from his grasp, looking at her pleadingly. "Please."
"Was this the first time?" she said coolly.
Justin didn't reply.
He didn't have to for her to know that it wasn't.
"I won't tell her," she said. He looked grateful until she continued, "if you do."
He stared at her in disbelief. "I told you, it was a mistake."
"I don't care," she said. "Either you tell her, or I do."
"You're such a bitch," he said, his words making her flinch. "What's the point of being a good friend now? You weren't there for her years ago. The stuff you said about her online? You put our entire relationship on fucking blast. You're no better than me."
Natasha shook her head, swallowing. "That was different."
"What? You get a free pass because you're crazy?" he said. "And you know what? You paraded around pretending to be Haven's best friend. You never were, were you?"
Natasha looked like she was about to cry. "You don't know the entire story."
Willow shook her head. "I don't know why we're trying to convince you. Do you want to tell her? Go ahead. It's not like anyone will believe you. In case you haven't noticed, Natasha, nobody likes you. After the stunt that you pulled?" she scoffed. "Like you'd even dare."
Natasha's hands folded into a fist, and she tried to steady her breathing. She wouldn't freak out, not now.
Justin's anger dissipated, turning into nervousness. Unlike Willow, he had something worth losing.
Willow glared at Natasha, her last words in a mock whisper. "Why don't you do us all a favor and disappear again?"
Natasha backed away, stumbling over her stride as she tried to get away as fast as possible.
"God, what if she tells her?" Justin said, putting his face in his hands.
"Relax," Willow snapped. "She won't."
"But you don't know that!" he yelled.
"Even if she talks, it's her funeral," Willow said, her eyes trailing after Natasha's retreating figure. Justin shook his head, his demeanor growing more finicky. "I have to go — I have to go stop her."
"How?" Willow said.
Justin's gaze darkened, his voice coming out strangely low. "I'll do that whatever I have to."
The video ended. I stared at the dark screen, millions of emotions swirling in my mind. There was no doubt Justin's words sounded like a threat.
At that moment, Justin and Willow didn't know someone else was watching them — recording them.
And so Natasha fueled a chain of events at the party.
Kai, who had seen the entire scenario unfold, had run to find Taylor to tell her that Natasha was back.
I went to the bathroom, unaware that Justin and Willow were fighting because of me.
The rest was a blurry recollection of the night.
Stumbling into Griffin's room, seeing the boy I had to pretend I never cared about.
Sinking to the ground in the bathroom, not knowing that Natasha was there, that if I had come just seconds earlier, I would've seen her myself.
Going downstairs to see my friends gathered, the perfect group of people — now the newest suspects in Natasha's murder.
I looked up at Kai, tears stinging my eyes as I tried to process the video.
Justin had cheated on me with Willow. He had been cheating, even before Valentine's Day.
It wasn't just about Justin cheating on me; with how our relationship had been unraveling, it didn't even surprise me. But if Kai's word was credible, then that meant two things.
Maybe, just maybe, Natasha cared about me. No matter what had happened between us, she had my back in the end, and she had wanted to warn me about Justin.
And maybe, just maybe, he had gotten to her before she could.