Ancient dreams in a modern land.
I'm trying to get back as fast I can.
Back to a time before I had form.
Back to a time before I was born.
-MARINA
Previously...
Lynn questions her relationship with Cathal Wood after he unveils his opinions on lycanthropy. Weeks after her fight with Sirius, she makes amends with him when he shows up injured and disowned from his family.
January 1976, Marauder's era
By the time Christmas holidays were over, Sirius's injuries had mostly healed. The fifth year acted as if nothing had happened, refusing to mention his disownment. He rarely left Lynn's side over Christmas, expressing his happiness to be on good terms with her again almost every day. It reminded her of second year when they had become acquainted with one another, him trailing after her like a puppy.
Mr and Mrs Potter apparated them to the platform when the Christmas holidays came to an end. James' mum had been quietly sniffling all day at the thought of her son leaving again.
"Muuuumm," James whined as his mother pulled him in for another hug, but he conceded quickly, wrapping up the shorter woman in a warm embrace. "I'll be back soon, mum."
Sirius tugged on Lynn's sleeve and pointed towards Remus and Peter, whose families were both talking to each other. Remus's father was surprisingly present, normally using the excuse of work to avoid the platform. His mother was clutching tightly to Remus's arm, though she was always cheerful, she looked rather frail.
Peter was the spitting image of his mother, who was speaking rapidly with her hands gesturing towards the train.
"Lynn," Remus grinned at her as she approached him, enveloping her into a tight hug.
"Lynn dear, you're growing up to be quite the beauty," Mrs. Lupin smiled brightly at her. "You know, Remus is always talking about you. You must come to visit sometime," she said, sending her son a secretive look.
"Mum, please stop," he sighed, pinching his nose. He bent down to whisper in her ear. "She's under the impression I am hopelessly in love with you."
"Oh, but you're not?" Lynn gasped. "My heart is broken, Moony. Completely broken."
"You better get on the train, son," Mr. Lupin said as the warning whistle sounded. "You have your cloak packed, yes?"
"Yes, dad."
"Wand?"
"In my pocket."
"Good man," he grinned, patting him on the back.
"Make sure to write to me, young man!" Mrs. Lupin called as they began to drag their trunks onto the train. "Lynn, you are welcome to visit whenever you like!"
"Thank you, Mrs. Lupin!" She waved at them. "Should we get a carriage? Sirius is still outside with Peter, and James will most likely get on last minute."
"Yeah sure. How is he?" he asked her, referring to Sirius. Lynn had written to him over the holidays, keeping him informed on the events over Christmas.
"He won't talk about it," she replied, glancing at Sirius through the window, who was busy trying to grab the muggle magic tricks Peter was showing him. "How was the full moon?"
"Oh, it was fantastic, thank you for asking," Remus rolled his eyes at her. She wacked him on the arm, making him hiss in pain. "Ow, fine. It was shit without all of you, but I managed. Any mental breakdowns lately, Vixen?"
She glanced around them to make sure no one was listening. "I know you don't like how I'm keeping it a secret," she sighed. "But please stop bringing it up."
"Well, when my friend suddenly collapses in the middle of the hallway because of violent hallucinations, I'm not going to just ignore it," he said sternly. He gestured towards an empty carriage, sliding open the door for her.
"Oh please, it wasn't that violent, and I was completely fine," she waved off, abandoning her trunk on the floor. "And I am grateful you haven't told anybody about the hallu- halloween! I can't wait for Halloween!" She exclaimed when she noticed James had suddenly appeared at the doorway.
"Yeah me too! I heard a rumour they're inviting the Midnight Witches to play on Halloween! It's a bit early to start thinking about your costume though, Lynn," James said cheerfully.
"Remus!" Sirius and Peter both shoved themselves into the carriage. Sirius slung his arm around Remus's shoulders. "How's your furry little problem?"
Remus sighed and shook his head at him. "More furry than usual."
Lynn sat at the window, stretching out her legs with a groan. "Can one of you boys chuck my luggage on the rack? I hate pulling that bloody trunk everywhere."
Sirius flopped down beside her with a grin. "Awww. Is poor Lynnie's legs tired?"
"Are you going to sit with Cathal, Lynn?" Peter asked. Sirius's smile tightened. "We missed you last time."
James gave her a weary look, which thankfully the others didn't notice. She was starting to regret telling James about the whole, 'Cathal is a werewolf hater' situation.
She hadn't spoken to Cathal since their argument in the bookshop. He had sent her a couple of letters over the holidays, but she had been unsure of what to reply with. She didn't dare tell Remus what Cathal had said about werewolves. He was already so stressed because of his OWLs. She already knew he would find some way to blame himself.
"I think I'll stay with you, Petey," she smiled. "You still need to show me those muggle magic tricks you've been talking about."
"Oh!" Peter clapped his hands in excitement. "Okay! So there's one you can do with a coin..."
...
When they arrived at Hogsmeade station, the carriages were waiting for them. Lynn wasn't surprised this time when the skeletal black horses were hooked up in front of them. She watched as they stomped their hooves on the ground restlessly as they waited for the students to fill the carriages.
One turned its head to look at her as Sirius helped lift her trunk into the carriage. Its eyes were fully white, and it seemed to sense that she could see it.
"Lynn?" Sirius questioned her. She jumped and looked up at her friends, who were all seated in the carriage watching her curiously. "Do you still see the horses?"
"Yeah," she said shakily, taking Sirius's outstretched hand to pull her into the carriage. "They keep staring at me."
"Just ignore it," he murmured, gently rubbing his thumb along her knuckles.
He didn't let go of her hand the entire ride to the castle.
...
When the group entered the common room, Lynn's first thought was to find her roommates, who she hadn't seen on the train. Instead she found herself face to face with Cathal, who had apparently been following her up the grand staircase.
"Hi," she said, looking up at him.
He smiled softly at her. "Hi. Can we talk? In private?"
She glanced at the marauders, who were all looking in different directions, pretending not to listen to their conversation.
"Alright. Is anyone in your dorm?" Cathal pointed at all the sixth year boys, who were all sat around a table in the common room. "Right, ok."
She followed him up the stairs to his room, heart racing in her chest as she thought about what she should do. The reasonable thing to do was break up with him right? How on earth do you break up with someone?
He sat on his bed and patted the space beside him. She avoided his searching eyes, instead looking at the Montrose Magpies poster on his wall. She made no move to sit with him.
"Are you still angry with me?" he asked, placing his bag on the ground at his feet.
"Not angry, really" she told him, deciding to sit on Frank's bed opposite to him. If she was going to break up with him she might as well prepare to talk to him. "Just... frustrated, I guess."
He hummed, looking down at the ground. "You've been ignoring my owls."
Lynn's heart panged slightly at how dejected he looked. "I needed time to think."
He looked up at her, his eyes too pretty to look away from, so Lynn stared back.
"I didn't really get why you were so pissed at me that day at Diagon Alley. Honestly it took me a while to notice you were even upset" he told her. "I spoke to Frank about it later on and he made me realise I was being a proper prick."
He reached down to rummage around his bag and brought out a book. He reached out and handed it to her. She took it curiously, turning it around and reading the title.
Hairy Snout, Human Heart
"You read it?" Lynn questioned him.
"I'm only halfway through.," he shrugged, trying to gauge her reaction. "Went on a shopping trip with my ma and spotted it in a book shop. She was a bit confused but she didn't say anything."
"And what do you think so far?" she asked, flicking through the pages. It was strange, talking about a book with Cathal. They normally talked about how annoying classes were and their favourite quidditch teams. Or they made out. Cathal was not a book person.
"I think that I need to be a bit more open to listening," he replied honestly. "That stuff I said that day was just shite I heard my parents say. Frank said they weren't my opinions and he's right."
She handed it back to him, and he tucked it into his bag. "I did a lot of thinking over the holidays too, about how badly I've treated you-"
"Stop, stop," Lynn cut him off quickly, reaching across and grabbing his hand. "You've been lovely to me. Sure, you were being a proper bigot and that's not okay, but you didn't treat me badly."
"Lynn, where do I live?" He asked her seriously.
"What?" Lynn shook her head at him. "What does that have to do with anything-"
"Where do I live?" he said more urgently, leaning forward.
"Uh, Glasgow?" she said, unsure of why he was asking.
"What's my parents' names?"
"Freya and Archie."
"How about my favourite food?" He asked.
"Cathal, what are you doing?"
"Just answer," he smiled slightly at her.
"You always go for the steak pie at dinner," she shrugged. "Spuds, carrots, lots of gravy."
"You need the gravy, hen. It's the best part," he grinned.
"Are you going to tell me why you're asking?" Lynn huffed, starting to feel annoyed by his antics.
"I asked you because I knew you would be able to answer," he said. "But I couldn't answer any of those questions about you."
"Really?" Lynn asked, shocked. She tried to remember if she had ever mentioned where exactly she lived. She knew she never spoke about her parents or her childhood. She avoided those topics on purpose. "I don't think I've ever mentioned it."
"I never asked," Cathal sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You see what I mean? I don't ask you things. I haven't been trying to learn more about you. I mean the most I could tell you is your favourite quidditch team!"
Lynn nodded in agreement. "Okay... you have a point. That's pretty shite of you. If you want to know, live in Limerick, my parents are Eveline and Sean, though I haven't seen my father in ten years 'cause he ran off to America. My favourite food is swiss roll."
He sighed in frustration. "See, the only thing that I knew was that your da lives in America."
He intertwined their fingers. "Look, I really like you, and I'm really sorry for what I said. I'll do better."
Lynn came to his dorm to break up with him. Yet, here he was, grasping her hands, looking at her with those beautiful eyes with 'Hairy Snout, Human Heart,' still in his lap.
"Okay."
She got up from Frank's bed, letting go of Cathal's hands. He looked up at her, worried she would leave. Instead, she sat beside him, crossing her legs. He watched her closely as she sat in thought.
"Can I kiss you?" he asked.
She smiled at his hopeful expression. "No."
"Okay," he said. "Can we cuddle?"
"...fine," she sighed. She opened her arms and he sunk right into her embrace, falling backwards together onto his pillows.
She wasn't sure if she still wanted to break up with him.
...
Lynn had only wanted to go for a walk to clear her mind, when she encountered the weird horses again. In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best idea to wander so deep into the forbidden forest.
She was deep in thought when twigs snapped behind her. She stumbled to face the noise, clumsily pulling out her wand.
"Hello?" Lynn called out. Leaves continued to rustle. Her hand was wrapped tight around her wand, ready to use at a moment's notice.
Instead of a student or a teacher like Lynn had anticipated, a black skeletal horse stepped out into the clearing, blank white eyes staring her down.
It was the same type of creature she had seen pulling the school carriages.
The one no one else could see.
It cautiously approached her, bending its head down to give her a gentle sniff.
"You're not going to eat me, are you?" Lynn hesitantly reached a hand up and patted the horse on its snout. It huffed air in her face, leaning forward into her hand.
"You shouldn' be out here, miss." A deep, bellowing voice interrupted the silence, making both Lynn and the creature squeal in fright. She blindly pointed her wand in the direction it had come from.
"Oi, it's alrigh'! It's only Hagrid! Am 'ere to feed that pretty beast you're pettin'."
"Oh dear Godric! You scared me!" she laughed nervously, lowering her wand. "Wait... you can see them too?" Lynn asked in a hushed voice. If someone else could see them, it either meant she wasn't going completely mad, or someone was just as insane as her.
"Well of course, I can see 'em! I've bloody well raised these beautiful beasts," he replied, throwing another cut of meat into the air. More of the black horses were entering the area, advancing towards Hagrid who had their dinner in his hands. "They're thestrals, if you're wonderin'. Misunderstood creatures, so they are. Like everything else in this world."
"Yeah. I suppose you're right," Lynn watched as a thestral nuzzled its head against Hagrid's arm. "I'm Lynn by the way. Lynn McLaughlin."
"McLaughlin ey?" said Hagrid. "Wouldn't happen to be related to Ruairi McLaughlin, would yeh?"
"Yeah, yeah he's my brother," she informed him with a smile.
"Good man, Ruairi is," he said. "Helps me with the hippogriffs sometimes. Though he can't see the thestrals himself."
"Why can some people see them and others can't?" she asked him, reaching up again to pat the thestral on his snout. It was surprisingly soft.
"Well, tha's why they're so misunderstood. People think they're omens of death, cause only those who've watched someone die can see thestrals."
All the relief she had felt from finding out she hadn't imagined the black winged horses was wiped away instantaneously. She racked through her memory for any time she had watched someone die.
"Does that include animals?" she asked Hagrid. The only thing she could recall watching die is an old hedgehog she'd found behind one of the greenhouses when she was younger.
"No. Only humans."
...
"Is this where you've been all morning?" Sirius asked her, sitting down. "I asked Marlene and she told me to go fuck myself."
"I've just been here for a couple hours," Lynn answered, not looking up from the book she was reading. "I was in the forest."
"The forest?" Sirius frowned, leaning against the bookshelf behind her. "Did you get any breakfast? Or lunch?"
"I brought an apple with me," she shrugged. I'll get some food in a minute."
"Lynn," he tutted at her, she looked up at him, only to notice his eye was blackened.
"What happened to your face?" she gasped, grabbing hold of his chin to take a closer look.
"Ow! Let go!" he whispered harshly. "I may have hit Mulciber. I've got detention for two weeks because of it, but he's got two months. He was saying all this horrible stuff about those muggle kids! I honestly don't even want to repeat it."
"Wait, wait, what muggle kids?" Lynn stared up at him.
"...You haven't read the prophet yet?"
"The prophet? No, I haven't." Sirius's face was, well, serious. Which was very unusual. "Why? What happened?"
"You know Voldemort? The evil wizard who proclaimed himself the Dark Lord?"
"Aye, the one who everyone thinks is responsible for those disappearances last year," she nodded. "What about him?"
"Him and his followers, the Death Eaters. They attacked a muggle school yesterday." Sirius pursed his lips.
Lynn gasped, covering her mouth slightly with her hand. "Merlin. Was anyone hurt?"
Sirius nodded. "Nineteen muggle kids and a teacher. Muggles think it was a freak accident. An explosion of some kind. But it was his followers."
"God, that's horrible," she said. "Mulciber is absolutely disgusting. That creep shouldn't even be allowed in Hogwarts. Merlin, I can't imagine what the parents must be going through."
"Yeah. It's all anyone can talk about. I can't believe you've been here all day." He peered over her shoulder. "Thestrals? Why does that sound familiar?"
"Do you know what they are?" Sirius shook his head. Lynn turned a page backwards, and pointed at the illustration of a thestral.
"Looks like a horse. With wings."
"They pull the school carriages," she said carefully. "I wasn't hallucinating."
Sirius's eyes widened. "That's- that's great! That means you weren't imagining them! Not- not that it would make a difference if you did imagine them, of course. I wouldn't treat you any differently if you did-"
"Yes, yes," Lynn interrupted his fumbling. "But neither you or the others could see them. You know why?"
"Why?"
"Because only those who have seen death can see thestrals. Have you ever seen anyone snuff it, Padfoot?"
She already knew the answer. "No," he said slowly. "Have you?"
She smiled tightly. "No. I haven't."
"So if you haven't seen death... how can you see the thestrals?"
"Do you think I would be spending hours reading about bloody thestrals if I knew?" She dropped her head in her hands with a groan. Sirius patted the top of her head sympathetically, then started running his fingers through her hair.
"Why are you petting me?"
"It always makes me feel better when someone pets me. Do you want me to stop?"
"..."
"Exactly." He continued to run his fingers through her hair. "It's going to be okay," he reassured her. She blushed at how softly he was speaking to her.
She should stop him from running his hands through her hair like that. She was with Cathal, and this was too... intimate.
She let out a sigh as Sirius gave her a light kiss on her forehead, untangling his hand from her hair. Her eyes fluttered open and she gazed up at Sirius who was towering over her.
"What if it's not okay?" she whispered, lip trembling. "What if there's something really wrong with me?"
Sirius crouched so he was face to face with her, and held her hands tightly.
"Then we'll figure it out, okay?"
"What if they put me in St. Mungos," she whispered, holding back tears.
He raised their hands. "That won't happen." Another kiss, this time to her knuckles.
"Sirius," she whispered, giving him a warning look. He ignored her, flipping their hands around. Another kiss, placed gently on her wrist.
"Sirius," she said more firmly, tugging her hands out of his.
He smiled wryly at her. "I know. I'm sorry."
...
Happy Holidays everyone.
It's been a while since I've updated this. I'd like to start working on it again but I'm always so busy to even think about it. But if I do update this again, next chapter will be the reunion between Lynn and Sirius O.O.
Kayla x.