He softly pressed his lips against mine,
And without a second thought, without even as much as a heartbeat missing — I kiss him back, my hands moved up to his jaws, gently cupping them as deepened the kiss, pulling me inches closer,
This kiss was soft, and I had never held a kiss of this kind before — both Draco and Cedric always kissed me with such force, and hunger but this,
This was sensitive, needing, gentle,
And for some reason — I never wanted it to end,
I sucked in a harsh breath before tugging our lips apart, my eyes flickered up to please his; the peace looking eyes stared through mine before snapping down do watch my swollen, glossy lips,
'' If you don't mind—,'' He smiled, his other hand dropped to my waist, '' If you don't mind, I would love to do that again,''
I tilted my head in a slight nod, pushing myself up on my toes to reach his lips once again, '' I don't mind—,'' I smirked into his parted lips, my hands grasping at his neck,
A warm hand leveled my jaw, kindly stroking it as he towered over me, bending my head back — and just as I stretched back, my eyes peeled open to catch my breath,
I lose it completely,
Someone forced Adrian back from me, making him stumble back in the hallway as he followed; Draco had a rough grip around his friend's throat and without question,
The blonde one slammed Adrian into the stone-covered ground — my eyes pooled as I watched, pushing myself off the wall to stop them,
To stop him,
My steps echoed in pace with their raging breaths, Draco forced a knee down into Adrian's chest, his wand digging into his neck as he lost himself to his temper,
'' Draco, stop—,'' I called out for him, trying to pry him off, but to no use. In this mind, in this state, he's lost,
'' What did I fucking tell you, Pucey?'' He spat, through gritted teeth, dagging more pressure on the knee bored into Adrian's chest, '' I told you to stay the hell away from her, you filthy—,''
'' That's enough, Draco—,'' I tried to warn, '' Please stop, you can't—,''
Before I could speak my mind, I noticed Adrian's hand curling into a fist, knuckles white as he swung it, colliding roughly with Draco's jaw, yet the blonde one didn't budge — not a muscle moved at Adrian's tries, he was too angry, to upset,
Instead, his hand flew to his throat, squeezing his skin coarsely, '' I dare you, Pucey, do it again,''
'' Hit me again, and I'll have a reason to fucking end you,''
My hands sought to push him off as Adrian's eyes rolled back, in need of oxygen, '' Draco, stop this, right—,''
Draco pushed his arm back, causing me to tremble into the wall behind us. My head whirled, the muffled whimpers fleeing my lips caught his attention; he shoved himself off Adrian in a heartbeat as my hooded eyes, tiredly sealed together,
Darkness,
_____
'' Why?'' The voice tore through my senses, '' Why would you do this, Draco?''
'' Why would you do this over a fucking girl?''
My head clouded by the harsh tones arguing back and forth, my eyes heavy as I tried to clock them wide,
'' She's not just a fucking girl. She's—, She's—,'' He trembled, before shoving the door at the person standing in his doorway, '' I don't know what she is, just get the fuck out of here before I throw you out,''
The loud slam of the door forced closed made my body flinch, my spine flew off the mattress as I looked at him, seeing his back bent, his forehead against the wood,
'' Fuck—,'' He frustratingly shouted, his fist heavily collided with the timber, over and over and over again,
I crawled back, my eyes wide in panic as I called out for him, '' Draco—,''
He flung around, eyes broad as his jaw dropped, ''Leiah—,'' He stepped close, kneeling next to the bed, '' It's alright,''
I shook my head, my knees dragged up to my chest, '' Where am I?'' I whispered, trying to grip what had passed, why I was here,
Draco hunched down on the bed, close to me as he wrapped an arm around my struggling self, '' The teachers wanted to bring you to your room, but I—,''
He quieted down, his head rested on mine, '' I didn't—, I couldn't let them,''
'' I needed to make sure that you were safe,'' - and then it hit me, this was his room, the room I only visited once before the first time the blonde one managed to hurt me,
'' So I took you here, to my room,''
My fingers twitched as I peered up at him, his eyes swollen, red, his bottom lip slightly quivering, '' Are you alright, Draco?''
He raised a brow, the arm wrapped around me tensed at my question, '' Am I alright?'' He scoffed, '' You're the one who passed out, and you're asking me if I'm alright?''
He seemed more than surprised, almost bothered that I dared to ask him such a question, but I had to — he had been crying, his pale skin was drained, '' Why have you been—,''
I gasped as I clocked the bruised jaw, my hands dipped to grasp his, noticing the swelled, bloody knuckles, '' No, no, no, Draco—,''
'' Draco, tell me you didn't—,''
'' Tell me you didn't do this,''
The blonde-one stayed hushed, tearing his eyes from mine as guilt climbed his front — his jaws clenched, '' He fucking kissed you—,''
'' I told him to stay away, and what does he do? He kissed you,''
My eyes waved, my hands forced into the sheets as I pushed myself off the mattress, '' Tell me what you did, Draco. Tell me what you did right now,'' I nearly begged him, needing to know what he did to Adrian, to know where he'd left him,
'' He kissed you—,''
'' Yes, he did, he fucking kissed me, Draco, and what am I supposed to do about that now?'' I snapped, my hands rushing through my hair, hauling it back in defeat, '' What do you want me to do? You didn't want me. You told me that this—,'' My fingers gesturing to the both of us,
'' That this would never happen, so what? I can't move on? I can't meet someone without you, completely losing your mind?''
'' He fucking kissed—,''
'' I. don't. care, Draco,''
He stood tall, taking long strides up to me, his hands clenched around my waist as he pulled me in, '' Only I can kiss you—,''
My eyes matched his, my lower lip sucked in between my teeth as I thought of it, what he had done, moments before I kissed Adrian,
His hand,
Placed in hers,
His words, '' I can never be yours,'' Echoed more than loudly,
He didn't want me,
He petted me,
He felt sorry for what he did, but he didn't want me,
He wanted her, and I wanted Adrian,
And by that single thought, that image flashing through my mind — my head didn't spin anymore, my eyes cleared as I backed away, '' I—,''
'' I can't do this,''
Adrenaline pumped through my veins as I shoved past him, '' Where are you—,''
'' Just, don't Draco, don't do this,'' I huffed out, stretching down to pick my books up, '' I'm sorry but I can't—,''
My hand scored cold around the doorknob as I felt a hand, yanking mine away, '' Don't leave,'' His chest hugged my back, his arms snaked around my waist, '' Please, stay here,''
He had such a hold of me, a hold I didn't have over myself,
I didn't want Draco Malfoy — I needed him,
Even if I spent my whole life resenting him,
He always had sought to make my life as miserable as he possibly could by stealing my sweets at the Christmas dinners as kids, storing them in my mother's shoes, and when it was time for us to leave, the chocolate had melted.
My mother was infuriated with me every time because no one would ever believe me when I told them that Draco was the one who did it,
Or the time we got home from spring break, and I had to stay at the Malfoy Manner, he always snatched my belongings when I showered and soaked them wet in the sink, leaving me with nothing to wear when I was ready to go back to the guest room.
He made my life an existing hell until one day, he stopped.
He ceased speaking to me, and we didn't talk for years, avoided each other at the Christmas dinners, did everything imaginable not to have to sit next to each other in class.
I was pleased with that,
Satisfied with the truth of him holding no part in my life anymore, until that night in detention a few months back and now,
Now I can't imagine my life without him,
Yet I hate him for everything he'd done, every heartache he'd caused me, every tear that escaped my bravery because of him, every time he sought forgiveness without apologizing.
I hated him with every bone in my body, with every nerve attached to my skin, yet my skin still craved his, my heart ached for him,
And because of that, I hated myself even more,
I hated myself for finding peace in his violence.
Draco's hands pulled me back, '' You need to rest—,'' He spoke, softly, letting my body sink into his as he leaned against the headboard, '' Is this alright?''
His arms hugged me, his chest fell lightly against my spine, '' It is—,''
Silence,
My head fell against his shoulder as I peered over my shoulder to look at him, to study the boy who brought to much mystery — his eyes closed, his lips pushed into a firm line, '' Stop—,''
My head snapped back, my body froze as he caught me, '' Stop staring at me. It's rude to stare,''
I felt my lips arch at his tells, slightly blushing as his hands sought mine, braiding our fingers together, '' You're not even looking at me, Malfoy,''
The blue eyes flayed open, his face twisted in disgust, making my eyes roll at his childish demeanor, '' Fine—,''
I closed mine, sinking further into his chest, '' Better?''
'' Much better—,''
I couldn't help but feel curious, to ask him why he requested Adrian to stay away — when he was the one who didn't want this,
I sucked a harsh breath in, my lips hesitatingly parted, '' May I ask you something?''
He nodded, his chin rested on the top of my head, '' Why did you tell Adrian to stay away from me?''
Draco's fingers clenched around mine before he pulled away, shoving himself off me, '' Why do you always have to do this?'' He growled,
'' Why do you always have to ruin everything?''
My eyes watered, my breaths hitched as the disbelief washed over me, '' Excuse you?''
'' I'm the one ruining everything?'' I stood tall in front of him, facing him fully as the courage grew within, '' I'm not the one hurting people, Draco. I'm not the one fucking kissing them, dragging them into closets only to tell them that I don't want anything—,''
'' That's you, Draco — that's on you,''
The blonde one looked startled, frozen before me as he slowly shook his head, the corner of his mouth arched, '' I didn't mean to do that, and you know it—,'' He let out, breathing heavily, '' Do you think I want this? That I want to hurt you? Do you really believe that I want it?''
'' Because I fucking don't. I wished I could do everything differently — then I could have another chance with this, but I can't, alright? I did something, and I can't—,''
'' I did something, and I can't have you anywhere near it, do you understand?''
I booted back, hissing at him as I strived to turn around, '' You know what, Draco? This was a mistake. You're more than right. We shouldn't do this,''
He took a step closer, '' I didn't fucking say that—,''
I slammed the door shut, without giving him the curacy to speak,
I was done,
I left him, as I should've done months ago,
_____
The night I left Draco's room, I immediately went to look for Adrian. I felt the need to apologize to him for his blond-haired friend's behavior, and I needed to know what Draco did to him.
I found him in his room, seated on the bed with Blaise holding him company. They explained what Draco had done moments after I passed out — He punched and booted Adrian to the point where he had to be taken to the hospital wing.
But Adrian didn't seem to mind. He kept assuring me that he only thought about me the whole time, wishing that he was the one who could've comforted me following what happened.
I stayed in Adrian's room, placed on his bed with his head on my shoulder, gently stroking the strands of his brown hair, and I could tell he almost fell asleep by that,
And for once,
I didn't think of Draco Malfoy,
______