You are what you see in the mirror, not what you think other people see in your reflection.
"Thank you," said Yunho. Mingi's words were certainly an inspiration, but it would take time to use the advice in action.
Mingi grinned, his heart swelling with pride. The little quarrel with San was worth seeing Yunho happy.
"Sometimes I think that it's such a miracle that I met you." Yunho sounded shy, but this time he stared into Mingi's eyes boldly.
It was Mingi who broke the eye contact. He looked away from the gray shadows that crossed Yunho's face as the sky dimmed and he faced the cityscape again, with an unusual serenity in his heart.
"Maybe it was." He replied, noticing that the excitement he had when he was inside the kitchen with Yunho had faded into nothingness.
Yunho noticed the monotone and frowned slightly. "You sound tired."
"I am." There was another voice in Mingi's head that echoed his thoughts in a less elegant and more demanding way. I want to go home.
The morose tone worried Yunho. "Are you okay?"
Mingi held his head. It was starting to throb. He wondered if it was the medications. He usually would've taken them by now.
He tried to force in a smile, but that only seemed to worsen the pain. Squeezing his eyes, he turned his head away to shake it off. When that didn't work, he started to pace the porch, the slippers clumping against the wood flooring.
"Does your head hurt?" Worry was evident in Yunho's voice. Following Mingi with small, hesitant steps, he tightened one palm around the mirror and reached out his free hand to touch Mingi's shoulder.
The contact sent a thousand tiny sparkles down Mingi's arm. Then they rebounded and rushed up to his head, intensifying the headache into agonizing pain. Mingi shrugged his shoulder vigorously and spun around, the world tilting unsteadily as he did so.
Obscenities slipped out of his mouth. "Don't touch me," he said, a little too aggressively.
With concern filling up his body, Yunho began to feel the cold, like the edges of the mirror, digging into his skin. "What's wrong? Should I call an ambulance?"
Mingi stopped when he reached the end of the porch, but he didn't turn around. He gripped the top of the banister, his ears ringing with Yunho's urgent voice. The darkness had settled in completely, and as he caught a glimpse of the scenery again he felt the sky and the shadows constricting around him, squeezing everything out of him and leaving only one thing behind.
"Let's go in first. It's freezing," said Yunho, nearly shouting in desperation when he saw Mingi's trembling shoulders. "I'll pour you a cup of warm wate-"
Stop it. "Shut up!" Mingi's shout echoed in the open expanse of land outside.
Yunho jerked in surprise and stepped back, a chill spreading through his body when he saw the twisted expression on Mingi's face.
How dare you. "Stop being nice. I know who you really are," said Mingi, his voice deep and low. "What you really want."
The menacing glare in Mingi's eyes pinned Yunho in place. He shrunk under the intense gaze. Fear and confusion clouded his brain. "What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?"
Ridiculous. "You...I can't believe it took you so long to realize." Mingi's tight voice was filled with unreleased fury.
There was no time for Yunho to understand the situation. He widened his eyes as Mingi ran towards him and grabbed a handful of his sweater. Shock overcame his body and he dropped the mirror, a loud clang resounding as the metal rim struck the floorboards.
His immediate stress response kicked in, sending his nerves on overdrive and his brain on full alert. Yunho's attempts to pry away Mingi's hands were futile, but the adrenaline flushed the fear out of his system for a moment, letting disbelief and anger take its place.
"Why are you being like this?!" Yunho shouted, "Just tell me if you're in pain! You're being unreasonable!" He pushed down the hurt that was starting to well up in his heart. There was no way these were Mingi's genuine thoughts.
Mingi continued to glower at Yunho. "I'm not letting you go this time. You're going to pay for what you did."
And that was it. The last bit of adrenaline fueled his brain. Yunho widened his eyes, the memories flooding in and clicking into place. His thoughts were so loud, he didn't even hear the banging coming from inside his house.
"I know you're not being yourself. It was the same last time when we ate dinner, right? And the other time when you called the bank phone support," said Yunho quietly. He searched Mingi's face for any semblance of recognition or understanding, but there was none, and he suddenly felt heavy with dread.
I'm sick and tired of this. "Stop with your bullsh*t already. You know what you did. You're just a heartless monster who doesn't care about other people's feelings." Mingi released one of his hands and raised it above his head.
Yunho froze in place, his insecurities coming back to him in waves as he registered Mingi's words. He remembered what he said before and started to wonder if he did do something wrong, reminding him of all the times he felt helpless behind his desk in the office whenever he talked to an upset client.
Mingi's gaze was starting to burn him, but he forced himself to maintain eye contact because he longed to see the soft eyes - the ones he could stare comfortably and deeply into - again. He decided that Mingi didn't mean what he said.
For once, he chose not to listen to the hurtful words.
"I don't know what's going on, but I'm not going to forget what you told me the past few days." Remembering the conversations he had with Mingi brought tears to Yunho's eyes. "You helped me a lot, even when it was something simple like telling me I'm nice." He bit his lip, forcing himself to be understanding. Mingi just needed help.
Without warning, Mingi's raised hand came flying down towards Yunho's cheeks. In one last desperate attempt, Yunho's body tried to break him free of the grip. As he struggled, a mysterious figure flashed across his vision.
"Mingi!" The unexpected visitor shouted. He blocked the hit for Yunho and tore Mingi's hands away from Yunho. "I should've known!"
Stumbling to regain balance, Yunho took a good look at the intruder and realized it was Mingi's flatmate.
"San?" Mingi asked. He looked around, disorientated. "What are you doing here?" He thrashed his arms around when he noticed San's firm hold on him.
Yunho looked back and forth between the two, the adrenaline leaving his system and reducing his brain into a muddled mess of a state. "How did you get in?"
San stood between Mingi and Yunho. "I'm sorry about Mingi," he said, ignoring Yunho's question.
Wrapping his arms around himself, Yunho asked, "Do you know what's going on with him?"
San's eyes darted everywhere. "He's...he's supposed to take some medications."
"For what?" Yunho's tone was accusatory. He refrained from looking at Mingi because he was afraid he would see a complete stranger.
That question got San's attention. He looked at Yunho again, his eyes slightly widened. He stuttered for a long time, and by the time he found the right words, Mingi had lost his patience.
Hard footsteps resounded in the air as Mingi stormed back inside the living room and towards the door.
Yunho followed, almost instinctively. He stepped indoors and grabbed Mingi's wrist. The warmth of the house went unnoticed. "Are you going to leave again?" He could taste the bitterness as he recalled what happened last time in the restaurant. "I left last time so I don't blame you, but this time I'm giving you a chance to stay and explain what's going on."
There was no hesitation. Mingi flung off Yunho's hand nonchalantly and continued his path towards the door.
San hurried quickly behind Mingi and pushed him out the front door the first chance he got. Then he turned around and bowed a few times. "I'm so sorry. It's better if you don't know. Trust me."
"Why would I trust you? I barely know you. This is none of your business anyway," said Yunho, with a lack of conviction. His heart felt empty and hollow.
"You don't understand. There's something neither of you knows, and it's better if it stays that way. Mingi is getting emotional because of your relationship, and that's bad."
Yunho's chest tightened with agitation at San's patronizing tone and sympathetic look. "Just get out."
San didn't need further persuading. He opened the door and disappeared from Yunho's sight.
After a long moment of just standing on his rug, Yunho turned around slowly and trudged back to the porch to pick up the mirror. He opened it and was instantly assailed by a mixture of frustration, distress, and weariness.
There was a small crack on the mirror, and it went straight across his right eye.
He slammed it shut, overcome with a sudden urge to throw it across the banister and into the trees lining the back of his house. And then he looked down, saw his name on the cover of the mirror, and tucked it into his pants pocket instead.
-
Yunho's starting to notice something wrong with Mingi...