Chapter 36: Coming Back Down.
"Where is he?" I questioned in a small voice. I sounded like a scared and wounded child who just witnessed something horrible that ripped their innocence away from them.
"I'm right here." My head jerked into the direction of the doorway. My heart was ripped open with glee and anguish while my stomach was sinking into a bottomless pit. I wiped my hair away from my face to see Juice standing there in the doorway with his cut on and arms crossed over his chest. Tears immediately formed in my eyes and I silently prayed for him to just be a ghost. But then he came closer while Chibs backed away. I felt his hand sink into the bed as he sat down beside the bed. I felt his hand rest on mine gingerly. I had to close my eyes to stop seeing the one person I've been dying to see. I jerked my hand away from his and let the tears fall from my eyelashes onto my cheeks. My legs mindlessly swing over the edge of the bed and I adjusted myself so I was sitting directly in front of him. My hands slowly pressed by his vest and onto the black tee shirt that he wore underneath. Slowly my eyes opened and took in the sight of my was dead fiancé. My hands balled up into fists and I started to gently hit them against his chest, with each hit it got harder until I was slapping, smacking, punching him. I wanted him to hurt the same amount as me.
"You asshole! I hate you! I fucking hate you!" I screamed at him, feeling Beau inside of me starting to panic at my distress. Juice tried to grab at my wrists to restrain me from hurting either of us. I wasn't thinking and that's the greatest gift I could've asked for.
"Maria, stop! You're going to hurt the baby!" Juice shouted at me, I could hear the distress in his voice. Juice stood up from the chair and towered over me. He finally got hold of my arms and pulled them together and pinned them against my chest. I let out a whaling sob as he pulled me into his chest. I buried my face into his collar and let out all of the unthoughtful pain that I've gathered the last six months. I was angry but I couldn't be happier.
-JUICE-
Maria asked me to leave the room after she had calmed down. I gave her a nod then left. Maria sat in the bed with tears in her swollen and bloodshot baby blue eyes. Her face was flushed and pale while her eyes were darkly rimmed. She sat at the pillows with her face buries in her hands and her hair shadowing her from me. I couldn't get the image of her out of my head, my stomach curled up into itself.
My heart sank in my chest when I walked into the living room to see my son standing in front of the couch. He was standing; the last time I saw him he could barely sit up on his own. He looked at me with large brown orbs and a toothy grin. I sat down beside him with a shy smile. He inched closer to me; I held my hands out, palms opened wide and facing upward. Daylon's little hands wrapped around my fingers like a bow. His lips curled into a wide smile, showing me his new teeth. One of his hands left mine and extended out his pointer finger at me.
"Da!" He squealed happily, igniting butterflies in my stomach. One little word left me breathless. My stunned face formed a smile. It hurt to smile at him after what I did.
"Maria makes sure the boys know who you are. She doesn't want them to think you didn't love them." Chibs told me from across the room. I didn't take my eyes off Daylon as he was preoccupied by playing with my fingers. As happy as I was to finally be home, my heart shattered in my chest because I was finally seeing the aftermath of the shit storm I started. Maria was broken, my boys are suffering and it was all because I pissed off the wrong people.
"What time is Percy getting here?" I asked after a moment to regain my composure.
"Percy has therapy after School so he won't be home until dinner." Gemma said in a little voice. My chest ached in a trembling breath. It's hard to breathe when you're six feet deep, in a grave you dug not only for yourself but also your entire family.
My attention was drawn to the shaded hallway to see Maria standing there hesitantly. When she and I made eye contact she turned on her heel and went back into the bedroom. Daylon had let go of my hand to go play with his toys. I got up and backtracked to the bedroom. Maria was sitting on the edge of the bed, hands caressing our unborn child.
"Every night I prayed that you were alive, now I wish you were dead." Her words ripped through my flesh easily. I stood in the doorway and nodded with my heart cracking and sinking inside my chest.
"I was finally getting used to you not being here. Now you're back. Why? Why did you leave me when you promised to me that you wouldn't. No matter what happens, you'll always be here to protect us. And if you think for one minute that what you did was protecting us, you deserve to be beaten again." Again her words stabbed me mercilessly. I knew I deserve all the hurtful things she said to me. I deserve it all.
Maria stood up from the bed, her arms cradled our baby as she effortlessly glided over to me. I braced myself to be beaten again, but what happened instead took me by surprise. Maria gently placed one of her hands on my chest, over my heart. She felt it beating through the black tee shirt and closed her eyes with tears dripping down her face. She rubbed her lips together before opening her big blue eyes and looking up at me. Her ocean blue eyes were glassy and filled with emotions I put there.
"I fucking hate you but I never want you to leave me again." She told me with a childish voice. My hands automatically cupped her face, my thumbs stroked the tears away.
"I promise." I whispered then pressed my lips to her forehead.