𓆈
"MARY MARY! GET UP! CODE RED!"
my eyes suddenly opened as i shot up, immediately wincing as my vision was flooded by brightness.
damn who turned the sun on?
"whaT HUH WHAT, WHAT'S CODE RED??" i yelled with my eyes shut tight.
"MY PARENTS JUST LEFT A VOICEMAIL SAYING THEY'RE GONNA BE HERE IN AN HOUR, W-WE GOTTA GET CLEANING LIKE, YESTERDAY" rodrick freaked.
i stood up from my spot and took in our surroundings.
dear lord this place is Fucked.
"WAIT WHERE ARE THE KIDS??" i asked worried.
mom will kill me if some shit happens to joey. i mean i also genuinely care too. i guess.
"ROWLEY WENT HOME AND GREG AND JOEY ARE CLEANING THE KITCHEN, C'MON I'LL DO THE LIVING ROOM WHILE YOU GET THE BACKYARD"
a wave of relief came over me as i nodded frantically and ran to the backyard while grabbing both sides of my head in pain.
i need a fucking aspirin.
opening the back door, i halted for a second as i spectated the scene.
cups. clothes. bottles. pot remnants. empty chip bags. loose cash. anything, you name it. it was all here for me to clean up.
is it that hard to clean up after yourself? damn.
i quickly ran back inside to grab a couple of trash bags and a broom from the kitchen, almost literally running into joey in the process.
"are you guys okay??" i asked to the boys while grabbing everything i needed.
big shoutout to susan for having a never ending amount of cleaning supplies.
"YUP" they yelled simultaneously.
god everything was so sticky in here. i cringed as greg's shoe made a squelching sound when he accidentally stepped over a soda spill.
"anybody hurt or Inebriated from last night?" i pushed, emphasizing the inebriated part. i'll slice a bitch if i find out someone gave these kids drugs or alcohol.
"NOPE" they yelled back, both helping each other take down a literal leaning tower of pizza slices on top of the counter.
symbolism.
that's kind of beautiful actually.
shaking my head to snap out of it, i ran back out to the backyard to do what i needed to do.
"IS EVERYTHING GOOD??" rodrick loudly asked to everyone in the house while sprinkling a couple of pretzel pieces on the carpet, something about the living room looking a little 'too good'.
"uhhh i think so, maybe check the kitchen one more time since the boys were the ones to clean it" i suggested in the nicest way possible.
"good call" he pointed at me agreeing, already heading in its way.
my eyes bulged out of my head as he turned to pass by the guest bathroom.
oh my god.
rodrick caught sight of it too as he slowly backed up and yelled in disbelief at the door. the words 'rodrick rules' were massively painted dead center on it and i covered my mouth in shock while walking slowly up to it.
he's dead fucking meat.
"i'll give a nice speech at your funeral..." i muttered, not one shred of humor coming out of me.
"fuck me..." he groaned, throwing his head up as my neck immediately twisted to look at him with wide eyes.
i could feel all the little mj's in my head currently running around and panicking up in their office like that one episode of spongebob.
bless my dear mind.
pushing the dirty thoughts to the back of my head, i straightened myself up as the two boys' gasped, running up to us and seeing what the problem was.
"m-maybe you can paint over it!" greg optimistically suggested.
"i don't know how to make paint!" rodrick defended with his arms thrown up, causing me to look at him incredulously.
the shit that comes out of his mouth sometimes...
"oh! i got it!" greg said as it looked like a lightbulb went off in his head.
"are you sur-"
"yes! there's a spare door in the basement!"
no one said anything as we all just looked at rodrick knowingly. not a hint of guilt came out of him as he shrugged with a proud smile on his face.
i gotta give it to him. he may be a bully, but at least he's a proud one.
"uh okay so......." he started frustrated while looking down at his stupid black watch that actually looked really good on him for whatever reason.
"if my parents called at 10:54 and it's 10:59 right now, that means they'll be here in 17 minutes-"
"5 minutes" i corrected with my head down.
"-5 miNUTES...i totally meant that...wait-oh? OH. OH GOD. FUCK UH OKAY YOU TWO GO HOME RIGHT NOW CAUSE WE WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE ANYONE OVER AND WE'LL GET THE DOOR" he panicked as he put his hands on my shoulders for reassurance, most likely for himself.
"oh okay gotchu gotchu" i nodded as joey and i dashed for the front door and out to the lawn.
a bike stuck in one of the bushes caught my eye and i immediately ran up to it, pulling it out as fast as i could and dropping it directly in front of the driveway, hoping it'll buy rodrick and greg some time if they need it.
i quickly pulled the house key out from under our doormat and unlocked the door, quickly pushing joey in as i glanced to my left and saw susan and frank's minivan pulling up into the neighborhood.
after swiftly shutting the door behind me, joey and i simultaneously hunched over with our hands on our knees to catch a breath.
way too much energy has been exerted out of me in just a one hour span, especially at this damn time of the day.
"what...happened...?" mom asked joey and i suspiciously as she walked down the stairs, rivi in suit.
"we had to run away from a big dog"
"a horse chased after us"
i snapped my head in joey's direction with wide eyes.
absolute dumbassery.
"no you idiot it was a great dane..." i tried to improvise, silently hinting him to go along with it.
"oh... heheh... it looked like a horse to me"
"doggy!" rivi cutely yelled from the steps with raised arms.
"yea those dogs are ginormous huh? glad you kids are safe though. breakfast?" mom chuckled at us convinced.
"good god yes" joey deadpanned, immediately following her into the kitchen.
once they disappeared from my sight, i let out the biggest sigh as i slammed the back of my head on the front door while rivi made grabby hands at me.
crazy how this is the first time i actually get to think to myself for more than 3 seconds today.
i really hope rodrick and greg are in the clear.
rodrick.
rod-oh god. OH GOD.
I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM. AND I TOLD EVERYONE.
did i tell him too??? oh my fucking god. i didn't. i couldn't have. right??? RIGHT???
in a state of panic, i pulled out my phone and texted dana.
dana
BTICH
gud morning lover girl ;-)))))
ohfmhfuck
PLS TELL ME I DIDNT TELL HIM
i wish u did 😔
oh thank baby jesus
oh my gof the amount of relief tht
jus caressed my bodyrn
or did u.... 0.0
pls dont fuck w me
pls
im fuckinf behging u
i cant do this rn i Will cru
cry
lol then beg
o shit wait lmao actly chris jus
told me he heard u tell him
I LEGIT HAV TESRS EOLLING DOWN
MY FACW DONT DO THJS
ehehehe
i kid i kid u didnt tell him
i think i should kill u
but okok thts gud
am happy
but u did tell amanda rite b4 she
left the party,,,, hence y she,,,, left
r u fuckinh kodding me
im crin again
i kid again
eheheh
pls dont evr talk 2 me evr again
bae no
r u hungover
yes mf
wbu
no bae
k fuck u then whore
stay mad hoe
"janeyyYyYYy pick me up!" rivi whined with her arms still up.
"shit my bad homie" i said as i quickly put my phone away in my pocket and picked her up, heading towards the kitchen.
mom was getting the stove heated up until out of nowhere, she stopped in her tracks and stared down at us, making me immediately put down rivi.
"why are you guys still in your clothes from last night? joey i understand because... boys... but mary jane you still have your makeup on?"
my mouth opened as nothing came out and i looked over at joey who was equally as stuck.
"we all just knocked out like a light last night!we all played an intense game of um... twister and uh... watched a movie and just... that. it was totally a laugh when we all woke up you should've been... there..." i intricately told, my smile slowly falling as i realized i was rambling too much.
i quickly put it back on to not look as suspicious.
joey looked at me with his mouth hung open in disbelief.
"what the hell was that??" he mouthed to me with his arms in defeat behind mom.
i subtly widened my eyes glaringly at him before mom opened her mouth to speak again.
"sounds like... fun..." she slowly nodded while giving me a judgy side eye and going back to what she was doing.
i let out a breath i didn't even know i was holding and pursed my lips at joey, sticking my middle finger up at him.
"i'm gonna shower before breakfast" i announced, walking out.
when i was in the clear, i ran up the stairs and into my room, quickly closing the door and stripping off my top and skirt. i jumped onto my bed face down and grabbed the nearest pillow to smash my face into.
"aaaAAaAHHHHHH"
fuck! FUCK! i'm in fucking love with him! i don't even fully remember how i felt last night when i realized this, but sober me at the moment is fucking stressed.
but at the same time i feel almost overwhelmingly happy?
"aaAaaAAAAHHHHH"
my one second of joy was ending as the image of amanda and rodrick making out last night popped up in my head, and not only does it make me want to scream, but now i feel like i have heartburn.
"aAAaaAHHHHH"
let's calm down for a second mary. let's retrace our steps so we can make sure nothing Too bad happened last night, like me taking off my top or something.
ok so got ready with dana, michael cera booze uncle, joint, dancing with rodrick, wanting to kiss him, crisis, uhhh some shit, the party going completely silent for a hot minute for whatever reason, some other shit, dancing, probably checked out rodrick, spilled the beans to the gang, yada yada, went outside i think-OH. OH GOD. I MADE OUT WITH TATE.
how did i forget about that???
honestly whatever.
what else? talked to rodrick in his room i think, did a conga line with rowley leading it???, ben throwing up, then chris throwing up, amanda almost taking off her shirt and me throwing a plastic bottle at her from the staircase because there were damn kids in the same house, a lot more stupid shit, and i guess knocking out.
not bad not bad at all.
getting out of my bed, i squeezed my eyes shut as another surge of pain ran through my skull.
never drinking and smoking ever again.
just kidding.
𝟽:𝟹𝟺 𝙿𝙼
roddy rich
come over :^)
guessin ur in the clear
cant catch me slipping 8-)
but come over fr
no
jk b there in 5
minutes?
no seconds
.....
i cant tell if ur being sarcastic or
not :/
oh nvm
"hey roddy" i smiled as i walked past him inside.
my hands were quickly becoming sweaty, but at least it wasn't anything too obvious to expose how fucking nerved out i was feeling right now.
just remember.
he's your best friend first.
that you happen to be in love with. it's fine it's cool.
fuck no it's not.
"what'd you want me to come over for?" i asked as he led me up the stairs and towards his room.
"uh can i not hang out with my best friend???" he sassed, looking back at me with a stupid expression.
"no"
"leave then bitch"
"okay"
"waitnoiwaskiddingpleasestay" he quickly said, grabbing onto my hand with both of his to drag me into his room fully.
my face immediately became hot and i was currently feeling grateful he was faced the other way so he couldn't see my sad attempt at trying to hide my stupid fucking smile.
stop stop.
"so... you make it official yet with amanda?" i casually asked while flopping my butt onto his bed.
sometimes i get scared that whenever i lay or sit down on rodrick or ben's beds i'm gonna accidentally touch something i don't want to touch.
when i realized i still haven't gotten a response, i looked over at him to see he was only standing and staring at me all dazed off.
i couldn't help but feel shy from his gaze.
"you look scary stop" i laughed, throwing one of his discarded shirts at him.
"am i ever gonna lose you?" he suddenly asked, catching me off guard with the serious tone in his voice.
"what? no never, you're irreplaceable to me" i casually said from the bottom of my heart. if i ever lost rodrick in any way i wouldn't know what to do with myself, not to say i'm dependent on him or anything, he's just someone important to me. extremely.
"softie"
"okay bitch you're the one who asked"
"softie"
"how bout you huh? does our friendship mean anything to you?" i challenged back teasingly, but still genuinely curious.
"i gotta think about that"
"bitch-"
"I'M KIDDING i'm kidding don't get your panties in a twist, you're very important to me so i'd rather not lose you" he said with a shy shrug, obviously trying not to sound as soft but still as sincere as he can.
a smile formed on my face and i pressed my cheek against against my shoulder flattered.
way to tug on my heartstrings you dick.
"awwww..." i gushed.
"stop..." he breathily chuckled, grabbing the shirt i just threw at him and throwing it back at my face.
i fake gagged as i tossed it across the room in disgust.
"for the love of god do your damn laundry"
"do it for me i'm lazy"
"oh???"
"WAIT I DIDN-"
"YOU SEXIST BITCH"
"NO I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT"
rodrick continued to panic as he grabbed my shoulders and shook me, begging me to stop taunting him.
"you never answered my question though" i brought up again.
he tends to avoid talking about amanda... like a lot.
"what question"
"oh my god" i muttered to myself. "did you and amanda make it official yet?" i reiterated, smiling supportively to make him feel more comfortable. and by him i mean me.
"oh uh actually yea we did" he sheepishly said, quickly scratching the back of his neck.
i felt my heart sink as my smile fell for a second too before i put it back on, not wanting to seem unhappy for him.
disappointed? who said i was disappointed? i'm not disappointed. not at all.
"well shit congratulations lover boy" i said in the least disheartened way i physically could.
i really just set myself up right there.
"what about you and tate?" he questioned, obviously not at all interested in anything that has to do with him.
nothing came out of me as i couldn't help but only focus on the way he was twirling the drumstick in his hand. his fingers moved around it so gently yet so seamlessly and despite it being impressive as hell, it was also kind of a turn on.
lol.
"mary"
"what"
"you and tate?"
"what about us?"
"are you guys dating or some shit?" he asked, not even bothering to hide his disapproval about the concept.
"why? is it gonna bother you if i say we are?" i teased.
"just answer the question"
"mm i don't think i will"
he raised his eyebrows in surprise at my stubbornness.
"oh really now?" he challenged, stepping closer to me.
two can play at this game mf.
"mhm" i mumbled while standing up to match him, making the space between us exponentially smaller as i craned my neck to look up at him.
"guess i'll just get it out of you then"
oh?
"the Fuck you mean yo-aAH" i was about to question until rodrick dropped his drumstick and quickly slid his hands to my sides, tackling me onto the bed while tickling my waist.
"RODRICK YOU SHITHEAD GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME YOU KNOW I CAN'T H-HANDLE TICKLES"
"ANSWER THE QUESTION"
"NO"
"FINE" he yelled while tickling me 10x harder.
do i submit and tell him i'm not dating tate or do i continue to build up the suspense and go for violence?
i choose violence.
"S-STOP BEF..FORE I FU-uUCK..ING
SWIi-ING BiTCh" i threatened in between scream-laughs.
he only continued to laugh at me and out of straight desperation, my hands started to flail violently at different parts of his body.
"oW..OW"
"STOP"
"NO"
without even thinking, my legs started to flail too as my knee jerked up, which was coincidentally directly
underneath his-
"FUCK MY BALLS" rodrick yelled as he completely collapsed on top of me.
oh my.
he groaned as he buried his face into my shoulder, and all of a sudden my body felt like it was on fire as the space between us literally became nonexistent. just his body on top of mine. you know. so casual.
"c'mon babyboy get off of me"
"i cant right now gimme a sec"
"it's been a sec"
"marYy-"
"OH MY GOD EW EW OH GOD"
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT"
"THEY'RE DOING IT"
rodrick immediately pushed himself off of me and frantically stepped towards the three boys standing near the stairs with his hands out as they all backed up in disgust.
"IT IT WASN'T LIKE THAT SHE JUST HIT MY NUTS AND-
"OH GOD"
"JESUS"
they all started to run back down the steps screaming as rodrick turned to look at me with his arms up in defeat.
"SO"
"so?"
"so are you gonna tell me if you and tate are dating because right now i'm thinking you guys are and it's honestly making me wanna barf"
there's something about him not wanting me to date tate that makes me feel..... special? idk.
"no sir we are not dating"
"good bitch"
"...why does it bother you so much that i was possibly dating tate?"
"cause i'm in love with you"
"hm?"
𓆈
a bitch made playlists :] i made them in a way where it's mj and rodrick's own personal playlists n wht theyre listening 2 rn !!!!!
mj's:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3jbrHh151IcL2S5H7qxVsE?si=4I15l-OzQ4yKuK-Gh1RcMQ
rodrick's:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7HF8EVj9IpYXobEj63sQo1?si=jfv5YPsyRBeTrj_s6qNvfw
UPDATE: uhhhh my dumbass didnt realize the links werent gonna work ,,,,,,, but my spotify @ is 2ugly2cry :{ they should b there ! ! !