She didn’t bother questioning if he was awake, she already knew he would be so she hesitantly crept towards the door and lifted her hand to knock but just before she did she paused. Instead she used her enhanced speed to quickly enter his room without knocking. Before Klaus could even form words she was in front of his bed staring blankly at the wall silently.
“Hayley what are you doing here” Klaus questioned as he jumped up from his bed. He was quickly in front of her eyeing her curiously. She didn’t respond, it almost looked like she was in a daze again like she was the night before after he compelled her. “Hayley answer me.” She still didn’t’ utter a word, she only stared and played with the ends of her hair. She was starting to concern him again so he needed to do something to snap her back to reality. With his voice slightly raised her grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her. “Hayley! Hayley what is that you are doing her?” It was enough to pull her back and she finally spoke up, at first whispering incoherent lines about dinner and crying and Hope being hungry. As he listened to her and watched her he softened, realizing that she had to be in need of something if she sought him out while in this state. Hayley was a complete mess and if he didn’t know any better he would say she was on the verge of a complete mental breakdown. He sighed as he felt his eyes burn from the tears welling up. “Hayley” he said softly which caused her to stop her rambling and look up at him. He rubbed her shoulders to relax her and looked her deep in the eyes. “Please love you are frightening me. I need you to pull yourself together and tell me what it is that you need from me, just tell me it doesn’t matter what it is. I just need you to communicate that to me. Can you do that?” It was almost like talking to a child and that unnerved him because Hayley is usually so strong, even when she’s weak she’s strong.
Hayley stared back at him and slowly nodded her head yes. She took a few deep breaths and was finally able to compose coherent sentences. “I…I…I’m going crazy Klaus…”
“No you aren’t sweetheart, you’re not going crazy.”
“No I am” she said meekly. “I was sitting at the table with Elijah trying to pretend to be okay when I…I’m not, I want to feed Hope I think she’s hungry, my baby…she…she needs me.” Hayley buried her hands in her face and started to sob. “She needs me and I need to get to her but I can’t get to her, I have no idea where she is and I can’t take this anymore, Klaus I…I think it’s making me go crazy. I don’t even remember how I got here, It’s all so foggy and dark and I…I can feel myself loosing it.”
“I happen to believe that everyone’s felt just a little bit crazy at some point in their lifetime, that doesn’t mean you’re going crazy love just-“
“NO! YOU’RE NOT LISTENING TO ME! ” She screamed.
“Hayley calm down, please”
She pulled her rage in and tossed her hand up in the air as she walked a way from Klaus. She paced back and forth in his room, once again reaching that place she was in previously while in her room. “Don’t you see, this is what I’m talking about…why did I get so angry at you? Why am I so angry right now? One minute I think I feel fine, the next all I want to do is cry because I swear that I can physically feel our daughter, then the next minute I find my self just filled with this rage, with this anger that I can’t control. I’m loosing control.” She anxiously continued pacing and ranting, pausing only to periodically steady her breathing.
Klaus just stood silently and watched her carefully. He was unsure about how to exactly handle Hayley. On one hand he wanted to offer her words of comfort, to try to get through to her and stop her madness but on the other he thought that maybe she needed to work through it instead of just soothing it. He thought about all the times he wished he had someone, anyone, who may have understood him even slightly that he could vent to, that he could be completely unhinged in front of. Unfortunately for him he never did, which meant most of his madness was relegated to his mind, gradually stifling him and time went on. Hayley didn’t have to suffer that same fate though; he could be that person for Hayley, which is why he simply waited, no matter how unsettling it was. He waited for whatever it was she revealed to him no matter how bad or heartbreaking it might be. He was starting to feel like sometimes he overestimated the little wolf’s strength. She was indeed a strong woman, but even the strongest creatures become weak under the right amount of pressure and that’s what was happening to Hayley before his very eyes, which only strengthened his resolve to actually be there for her.
“I’m being tormented and I want it to stop but I…I hate what I always feel like I have to do to make it go away…at dinner with Elijah, we argued and the whole time I just had this urge to just...I just needed to get away, I need to get away, I have to…I have to, no I want to…” She stopped pacing and curled up into herself, nervously rubbing the back of her neck. “I can taste the sweetness of if in my mouth right now, I crave it and…and…”
She was starting to drift off again so Klaus finally decided to approach in hope that he could get her to focus again to finish telling him what she needed. He slowly inched closer to where she was standing and firmly placed his hand on her shoulder.
“Hayley look at me”
Her eyes darted up and met his. She stood there and gazed at his ocean like eyes. They were hypnotizing and the longer she got lost in them the more she sensed her thoughts gathering. Finally after a few seconds she began talking again.
“And…if I don’t do something right now then I’m really going to go Insane. I can’t control it, it’s drowning me and I need an escape, that’s why I came here…”
“What kind of escape love? What are you talking about?”
“You said you felt the same urges I felt remember, like you needed to kill someone, like you wanted to drain someone of every ounce of life they hold. I know you’ve done it before. I’ve done it before…but then it was blind rage and hunger that made me do it, now it’s…I’m not hungry or angry, I just, I feel lost and like the only way I can find who I am is to be who I’ve been made to be. I need to just surrender to it. It’s what I need to do…I have to do it or else…Klaus I’m going to loose my mind…you have to help me”
Klaus was at a lost for words momentarily. He was unsure of what she was asking him to do. Did she want someone to go on a killing spree with her? Did she want him to stop her? Did she want him to tell her to embrace her vampirism? Or maybe she wanted him to share in this with her so that she didn’t feel like the only monster living in this house afterwards. Most of his reasons lead back to her thinking that he was some monster who would enable her behavior, which offended him but he didn’t tell her that. “So that’s what you need me for? To go out and kill? Is that what you want from me?”
Hayley put her head down almost as if she was ashamed to admit it and shook her head yes. Her response however agitated Klaus. He tensed up and quickly removed his hand from her shoulder and put more space between them.
“So this is why you’ve come here instead of seeking out my noble brother like you would have before. He wouldn’t possibly agree to such a thing but I, the notorious monster would of course. I admit that I have expertise in that sort of thing, I guess it would make sense that you would defer to me when you want to give into your more darker desires.”
His voice was flat and emotionless and he refused to make eye contact with her, which told Hayley that he was not pleased by her request. She didn’t feel guilty but she didn’t mean to wound him in that manner. “No Klaus that’s not it at all, that’s not why I sought you out…”
Klaus rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Then why are you here Hayley? Why are you in my quarters and not someone else’s or your own?”
“I…I’m here because you’re the only one who can help me fight these demons that are trying to control me.”
“I think you put a little too much faith in me love, I can barely even fight my own if you haven’t noticed.”
“That’s exactly why I know it’s you, that you’re the only one because here you are…you’re still standing here and you might not have it all together but you haven’t lost it after all these years. You should be certifiably insane by now but you aren’t. No one can understand what it’s like to fight this fight but you, not Elijah, not anyone. You can pull me back when I go to far, you can let me fall without rescuing me before I’ve fallen just far enough, you can stand in the corner with me and get us both out before we’re trapped…” She started to cry again. “I already feel trapped and I don’t think I can find my way out before I loose it but you can, you’ve done it before because you’re here.”
He felt guilty for getting upset with her while she was this broken. He didn’t want to react that way but he couldn’t help the sting he felt in his heart when he thought she thought the worse of him. Still hearing her reasoning made him sad but it also sent a surge of confidence to his fragile psyche. He felt sad because Hayley must be really low to think him strong enough to fight period, let alone for both of them, but he got a surge of confidence because he was who she really wanted to lean on and trust during her most fragile time and she had absolute faith in his ability to survive even the bleakest of circumstances and that wasn’t something he was used to getting from someone. He slowly walked closer to her and grabbed her by the hand. She was trembling and staring at him almost as if she was afraid of his touch and his closeness. He didn’t let that deter him however as he closed the distance between then even more and placed his palm on top of her hand. “Are you sure this is what you want? Once you truly embrace this there’s no turning back. It will not be easy and you will do things that most will find reprehensible, at least until you learn how to truly control it. If the answer is yes then I will do as you have asked, if the answer is no I will pretend this never happened. So what’s it gonna be Hayley?”
Hayley looked down at her hand tucked between Klaus’s two hands. His touch had made her stop trembling and his voice assured her that this was truly what she needed to do to save herself. She finally looked up at him and with a single tear falling down her cheek she whispered yes.
*
They spotted a girl walking along the backs of the Mississippi. She was alone and seemingly enjoying her late night stroll. Klaus had decided it was best if they left the city, not wanting to draw unwanted attention to themselves, so instead he took Hayley to a city about and hour west of New Orleans called Baton Rouge. The bank of the river that ran near downtown Baton Rouge used to be one of his favorite places to escape to when the city got to over bearing for him. It was relaxed and not too busy, especially not at this time of night. It was also pretty convenient for him since whenever he impulsively fed on someone the river was at his disposal to use for cleaning up his mess. This place was perfect for what they were up to.
Hayley had been pretty mute the entire drive there, choosing to only stare out of the window at the lights of the passing cars. It was for the best since he wasn’t much for words anyway and sometimes the thought of engaging in certain types of conversations with Hayley scared the hell out of him. She silently followed his every command as he lead her through the city to their current location. Hayley eyed the girl carefully, watching her every movement. She was envious of the girl and her carefree nature. She didn’t seem to have a care in the world. There was nothing weighing her down threatening to crush her. She breathed in the night air as if she and this world were mutual friends. If only she could be fortunate enough to be that free, that loved by her surroundings. The sound of Klaus’s accent interrupted her moment of envy. “Well what are you waiting for love, I can tell you want to, have at it that’s why we are here.”
She turned to look at him and for a moment he thought he saw some hesitation in her eyes. “Do you think I’m a monster Hayley?”
The reasoning behind his question was lost on her but she answered despite her confusion. “No, I’ve never thought you were a monster. A dick? Sure. Slightly psychotic? Definitely. A monster? No.”
“Only slightly psychotic? That might be the best compliment anyone has ever paid me.” He let out a light laugh, which actually brought a small smile to Hayley’s face. That might have been the first smile she’d cracked in months. Leave it to Klaus to be humorous even when she’s coming undone.
“Well I’m glad to hear that, since you aren’t a monster either, so go.” He said, motioning towards the unsuspecting girl still strolling along the river bank. “Savor the sweetness and warmth of her blood on your lips. Enjoy the feeling of knowing that as you drink life leaves their body never to return again. It’s part of who you are now.” Hayley take a step to go but before she could move Klaus grabbed her arm. “But remember…it’s only a part, this isn’t all you are.” With that he let her go and Hayley sped off. She approached the girl from behind, pulling her by her hair and quickly sinking her fangs into her carotid artery. She made quick work of the girl, not wasting anytime and before she knew it the girl’s limp body was slipping from her grip and falling to the ground lifeless. Klaus sped over once he saw Hayley was done. When he finally reaches her side he finds her with glowing eyes and blood dripping from the corner of her mouth.
“Are you okay love?”
“Yeah” Hayley said smiling. “I feel…it’s like a high. I felt such a rush just now, especially when I watched her fall to the ground.”
“I always fancied the approach as the best part. There’s something almost euphoric about holding that power over an unsuspecting person. It makes you feel like a God amongst men.”
Klaus’s little revelation about feeling like a God when he fed didn’t surprise Hayley in the least. For someone like Klaus that kind of control is like a drug used to numb the feeling of not having real control over the things surrounding them. Surprisingly it made her want him to indulge in his high as she did. “How about we do the next one together?”
Klaus lifted his eyebrows in surprise at her suggestion. Most women he encountered would have found his little revelation disgusting but not Hayley. Still he wasn’t sure if that was the best idea, after all this night was about her, not him. “I don’t know love, I’m more of a solo act.”
“Come on Klaus. I know you want a taste as well. It would be a shame if you only got to watch someone else experience this high while denying yourself your own. I know you want to I can see it in your eyes.”
“You make a good argument and I’m almost tempted—“
“I still thought about her you know. Hope. I thought I wouldn’t think about her as I did it, like it would make the pain go away but it didn’t…. but strangely I’m not upset about it. I still thought about her, that pain…It’s still there but I don’t feel like It’s on the verge of consuming me right now…I need to keep that feeling Klaus and whether you want to admit it or not I think you need that feeling right now too.”
She always did know how to read him like a book. Even when he was completely composed and she completely undone she could still sense even the smallest crack in his armor and it frustrated him yet relieved him all at the same time. “Fine but just this once and after this I’m done, don’t ask me again.”
“Do I pick or do you want to?” She asked.
“I’ll do the picking. Since it’s the two of us we’ll need someone substantially larger in size than your last victim.”
He scanned the bank of the river and spotted what appeared to be a couple enjoying a date. Klaus imagined him to be a businessman and he imagined the lady to be his wife who worked as an interior decorator part time. Fantasizing about his kill before hand isn’t something he usually did but tonight some twisted part of him needed them to be the perfect couple worthy of his envy, so that killing them would be more satisfying. “I’ve found the perfect match for us, however this one might require a little acting.”
“Acting?”
Klaus saw the couple getting closer so they had to turn on the act quickly. “Just follow my lead.” He grabbed Hayley by her hand and gently kissed the back of it. He let her hand linger on his lips for a few moments before lowering it and interlocking her fingers with his. Hayley didn’t question it. He smiled at her and told her to walk. Once they reached the couple Klaus did all the talking. He let them pass them up first before finally getting their attention.
“Excuse me Miss!”
The couple stopped walking and turned around. “Yes, how can we help you?” They replied.
“Forgive me for interrupting your evening but my girlfriend here fancies your necklace. Do you mind if I ask where you got it from?”
The couple eyed Klaus and Hayley suspiciously. Hayley noticed and decided to kick up the act just a little bit. “We’re terribly sorry to intrude,” she said as she interlocked one arm with Klaus’s and dragged her hand up the same arm. “It’s just such a beautiful Necklace.”
“You know how ladies can be lad, they see something they like and they just have to have it, I don’t know how we put up with them.” That elicited a chuckle from the man. “You make a good point. It was an anniversary gift, bought it at the Saks on Canal Street in New Orleans.”
“Thank you, I’ll be sure to visit there next time I’m in the French Quarter.”
Klaus reached out and gave the man a firm handshake while wishing him a nice evening. He then turned his attentions to the lady. “Have a nice evening ma’am” He said as he reached out to shake the lady’s hand. Once he had it in his palm he placed his hand on top of hers and looked into her eyes. “Go sit down over there and wait, don’t scream, don’t move, just sit.” He compelled her to the shock of her husband. The guy started to protest once he saw his wife absentmindedly walk away from him but before he could even get a word out both Klaus and Hayley had latched onto both sides of his neck. He fell to his knees as both their weights bore down on him. They looked at each other as they went down to the ground along with the man. The experience was thrilling as they started into each other’s glowing eyes while drinking the warm blood. Klaus was the first to break the eye contact as he removed his fangs from the man’s neck and bite into his wrist while Hayley chose to continue her assault on his neck. After a few minutes the man was completely drained. They both stood up panting for air as they let the high sink in. It was unlike anything Klaus had ever experienced before. He had fed on the same person before several times with Rebekah but there was something different about what he had done with Hayley. There was something so satisfying about sharing that with someone you were so in sync with.
They both turned their attention to the woman sitting a few feet away then looked at each other. As if reading each other’s mind they both sped to her choosing again to both sink their fangs into her neck until blood no longer coursed through her veins. They both plopped down on the ground next to the woman’s body and just stared out at the river completely satisfied.
“I thought you said only once.” She teased.
“Well I have been known to change my mind on a whim” he quipped. Hayley smirked hearing those familiar words again.
“You were right you know, about it not making the pain go away…” He said. “It never does actually, at least not for good. Even when you feel like it’s gone for a second it just comes roaring back like it was never gone in the first place.”
“So I’ll never not feel these things when I do this?” She questioned.
“On the contrary love, sometimes this is when you will feel the most.” There was a brief moment of silence as Hayley took in Klaus’s words. She brought her knees close to her chest and rested her chin on her knees as she breathed in the night air. In a way she was relieved since she didn’t actually think that she wanted to ever live a life where she couldn’t feel, not even temporarily, even if feeling things threatened to drive her insane.
“You we’re right about the other part to…I thought about her as well, I’m thinking about her now actually, but I don’t feel like it’s going to consume me right now either, I don’t think I could say something like that a few hours ago.”
Hayley slowly stood up as another person caught her eye. “I need more…”
“Go right ahead love, do whatever you feel you need to do to regain your sanity. Regardless of how long it takes, I’ll be right here waiting”
Hayley glanced at Klaus over her shoulder then looked up at the moon peaking out from behind the clouds. “I know you will,” she said, right before she sped off to let her madness claim more victims.