"Liv." Just hearing his voice was enough to make me feel better. I let out a shuddering breath, holding the phone to my ear tightly. The roughness of his tone still sent goosebumps across my flesh, as if the hundreds of light years that separated us were nothing more than a foot of space. I missed him and just being allowed to hear his voice was enough to ease that ache slightly. It had been a week and I missed him more than I had ever thought was possible.
"Rhex." My voice was a faint croak. It had been a long week without him. The Learning Centre had only done so much and while Ani was great for keeping some of the feelings away, she couldn't do it all. I had missed him and his presence and while the intensity of it scared me, the feeling of abject loneliness almost tempered the fear. He was my soulmate and I knew I would have to grow used to the intensity of the feelings I had for him.
"How are you?" His voice slid over me making me shudder. I curled up in the chair, pulling my knees up to my chest. I was thankful for the translator as I spoke to him. I wanted to close my eyes and just curl up with the sound of his voice rolling over me. It was so calming and peaceful.
"I've been better." I gave a small, almost raspy chuckle. I had only felt worse as he moved further and further away from me. I had stabilized somewhat yesterday, the symptoms hadn't gotten any worse, which I was thankful for. I assumed he made it to his training base.
"I know. Me too." He let out a heavy sigh and I could almost feel the weight of it pressing down on me. There was a faint moment of silence as I shifted, resting my chin on my knees and curling up a bit further in my chair. I wanted to urge him to keep talking but I didn't know how. Words felt strange in my mouth, how could I have pleasant conversation with him when I missed him to the point where I wanted to cry?
"I miss you." They were the only words that could roll off my tongue and I said it quietly and I felt almost a bit embarrassed at the admission. He was my mate but I wasn't fully aware of what that had meant for my emotions. Everything was different with him, stronger and more potent.
"I miss you too." He gave a small cough and I could hear people chattering in the background. There was a loud bark of laughter and I hoped that he had someone to help him out through the separation like I did. "What is your favourite colour?" The question caught me off guard and I couldn't help how I smiled at it.
"Light green." It had used to be ruby red but Rhex had changed that. He was changing a lot about me but I was finding I didn't particularly mind. I just hoped that I was changing him as well. It was selfish of me but I wanted him to think of something and be reminded of me.
"That does not have something to do with my eyes, does it?" There was a faint note of teasing to his voice and I felt my cheeks flush bright red. I glanced around and Ani was moving around the room as if not paying attention but I knew her. Her ears were wide open.
"Maybe." I said it quietly so she wouldn't hear but she whirled around.
"Look at you! Your face is all red!" Ani sidled closer to me and I waved her off, trying to hide my embarrassment. Ani would never let me live it down. She was a pest but she was for a reason. I appreciated her for doing what she did.
"Go away." I shoved at her playfully, wanting her to leave me alone for a moment. She was stuck to me like a barnacle, not that I minded. She was a very good friend. It felt nice to have a friend so close. I wanted Ami'la to be with me as well but she was busy with her work. I was happy that Ani was with me though, I wouldn't have switched her with anyone else out there in the universe.
"Who is that?" Rhex sounded curious and I gave a small chuckle as Ani pouted, her bottom lip sticking out. I stuck my tongue out at her in faint teasing.
"Ani. She's a new friend." I watched as Ani fluttered her eyelashes and pressed her hands to her chest as if I had said something touching. I smiled at her slightly, holding the phone tighter to my ear.
"Did you meet her at the Learning Centre?" Rhex sounded hesitant and I nodded despite the fact he couldn't see. I wondered if he knew what dangers were lurking for me while I learned about his culture.
"Yah. She helps me with my work." I was getting better, I knew a few more words of Orrian but it was slow going. Ani told me I was improving greatly and I knew all the thanks went to her for it. She was a patient teacher, a very patient one who dealt with me bursting into tears over my homework assignments because the feeling of missing Rhex became unbearable.
"That is good. You need allies." His voice was gruff but I could hear the notes of relief in his voice. He was relieved that I had someone else in my corner, that I would have someone here to protect me when he couldn't possibly reach me.
"Her face is red!" Ani said it loudly near the phone and I jumped. I hadn't seen her move closer. I gave a small groan as I shoved at her again, wanting her to move away before my face flushed even more with embarrassment.
"Go away!" I hissed it at her and I could hear Rhex chuckling. It was a rough and relaxed sound that had me relaxing as well.
"She is keeping you occupied?" There was a faint teasing note in his voice that had me scrunching my face up at Ani. She made a face at me in return before twirling around the room as if she were a ballet dancer.
"Yes." I watched her for a moment, she certainly kept me occupied with numerous things. There wasn't a day she didn't have me doing something to keep my mind occupied.
"She has my thanks." He said it with a note of serious respect and I knew Ani had made an ally with my mate. He respected her for what she was doing for me, for keeping me occupied when he was gone.
"You are welcome!" Ani stuck her head over my shoulder and I glared at her even as Rhex gave a bark of laughter.
"You're a pest." I shoved at her again and she slowly rolled down to the floor, moving in slow motion and making drawn out noises. She was making it seem as though my shove had a serious effect on her as she gave a long groan and pretended to die on the carpet.
"She seems happy." Rhex seemed amused and I grinned as I stuck my tongue out at her as her eyes cracked open.
"She's an obnoxiously happy individual." I made a face at her and she propped her head up on her hand with a rather shit eating grin on her face.
"Does that... does it help?" Rhex said it carefully and despite him not elaborating I knew what he was asking and I wondered if he had found someone to help him with how he was feeling. If I didn't have Ani I didn't know what I would do or how I would feel.
"It keeps it at bay for the most part." There were still moments when it got too much and I almost broke down but she helped keep most of it away from me. I was glad for it as well.
"For the most part?" He sounded uneasy and I let out a heavy sigh.
"I'm not going to lie, Rhex. This is hard. Really hard for me at times." There was no explanation for how it felt without him, as if half of my soul was gone. Like I was missing something important, like I had an important limb or organ taken from me but I wasn't sure what it was, I was just aware that it was gone.
"Fifteen weeks left, Liviya. That is all." There was a faint strain to his tone and I closed my eyes. Fifteen weeks might has well have been a lifetime away.
"That's a long time." It was too long to be away from the man who was my husband, the man who the Source had deemed was my one and true partner. The only one that would ever be for me. If I lost him I would lose the other half of who I was, it was how the soulmate system was.
"I know." He let out a heavy sigh and a small silence fell between us. Ani sat up and nudged at my knee with her foot, gesturing me to continue the conversation.
"How is training going?" It was all I could think of to say to keep the conversation going. I needed to know as much as I could about him.
"We have not done much. Just went through the itinerary and I will be busy." That was good. I felt relief that he would have something to take his attention off of things. I just hoped he would be busy enough that he wouldn't be able to dwell.
"That's good." It was because it pained me to think he would be feeling as I did when I could fix it. I didn't like the thought just as I knew he didn't.
"How are things in the Learning Centre? Are you learning much?" At that I gave a small grimace. People still hated me and Kher was probably still trying to plot my death.
I shook the thoughts away. "I'm learning a lot about the war with the Kengans and the general history. I know a few words of Orrian now." I was almost excited at the prospect of showing him how much I was learning about his culture.
"Really? Just give me a second." There was the sound of rustling as if the phone was set down before he came back. "Okay, I have my translator out. Show me?" I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted to show him that I wasn't as different or as stupid as everyone thought I was.
"Star year is seh'lan ahske." I stumbled over the foreign words slightly and Rhex chuckled.
"Good! But it is sEH'lan Ahske. But it was good. You are doing very very well." His praise meant the world to me. There was a difference between Ani telling me I did good and having Rhex do it. There was more of a warmth, of a pride to it.
"Hello is ahl'enhe." That one I knew I had spot on and Rhex gave a noise of satisfaction that had me beaming.
"That was perfect." His voice was low and filled with pride and I wiggled in my seat happily. I was happy he thought I was doing well. I wanted to learn as much as I could about his language to actually talk to him without the translators.
"Kengan is Slegranadeh." At that my mood fell slightly. "It's really close to slegrnd." Ani winced at the use of the word and Rhex inhaled sharply.
"Do not use that term, Liviya." His words were harsh and I lowered my gaze to the floor. It was what I was called, a half-breed but they called me a name similar to the one they spat out about their longest standing enemy. It spoke of my place in their society. I wasn't wanted and because of my blood, because of my humanity, I never would be.
"Why? It just illustrates how your culture views me. I am similar to your most hated enemy." I glanced at Ani and she reached out and squeezed my leg, her eyes speaking an apology she had no business giving me. It wasn't her fault or her burden. She shouldn't have had to feel the need to apologize to me on behalf of her culture.
"I cannot understand you. Give me a moment." The rustling was back and Rhex said something guttural to someone in the background before he must have picked the phone back up. "You aren't to use that word, Liviya. Do not let that tarnish who you are." There was a serious reprimand to his tone and I shrugged. I was used to the word, nearly everyone spat it at me when I walked by.
"That is how everyone sees me. I am so close to an enemy-"
"No. You are not that name, Liviya. They call you it but you are Liviya Mary DharSon, you are my mate and my wife. You are more than they could imagine! Do not let that name destroy who you are as a person. You are more than your blood." There was a tense silence before he let out a breath. "Besides that name is inaccurate, you are more than a half-breed. More like two thirds-breed." At his words my mouth dropped open.
"Did you... did you just make a joke?" A wide smile crossed his face before he gave a small strained chuckle.
"Yes." At the rather sheepishly said word I burst out laughing. Ani tilted her head at me and I held my mouth over the phone receiver, trying to stifle my laughter.
"He just made a joke, a very funny inside one." I managed to get it out through chuckles and peals of laughter and Ani slowly nodded, giving me a look that had me laughing harder. I could hear Rhex laughing along with me and I felt a pang in my chest that had the laughter tapering off. "I miss you. So much." Tears burned at my eyes as the words escaped and I pressed my hand to my forehead, fighting back the urge to cry. My dad had told me it would be painful but I didn't expect it would be this bad. I just wanted Rhex to be with me. I ached for it.
"The moon and the stars shined in your eyes the day I took you to the observatory. You looked like you should have been with them because you lit up like nothing I had ever seen before." There was a firm note of longing to his tone that made my breath hitch in my chest.
"Why are you telling me that?" I blinked back the tears but was forced to wipe my eyes to get them to disappear.
"Because I know that when I get back, it will not be the stars that make you light up. It will be me." His voice was rough and I felt my chin quiver from the need to cry. Tears once again flooded my eyes. "I hold onto that with everything that I am." His voice was rougher and he gave a small cough as if to clear a lump from his throat.
"Why does this have to be so messed up?" My words were a whisper and he made a sound in the back of his throat.
"Fifteen weeks. That is all I will ever ask of you, Liv." Fifteen weeks was too much but I had no other options. I had to go through it. I had to listen to his voice and know that he couldn't touch me, couldn't hold me and it hurt. It made everything ache even worse.
"You keep busy." I choked the words out. I couldn't keep it together for any longer and I didn't want him hear me cry.
"Liv..." He gave a heavy sigh. "There are no words to describe how much it aches without you by my side. I never knew how much a soul could ache before I left you." He said it low and I pinched my lips together to keep the sobs at bay as my vision blurred with tears that burned my cheeks. "I need to go but I will call again next week. Remember that I miss you with everything that I am." The line went dead and I sniffled as my chest tightened. I set the phone back in its cradle and closed my eyes. Ani shushed me gently as my shoulders shook from the sobs I stifled behind my hand.
"It will be okay. It will be fine. We will get you through this." She climbed onto the chair with me, wrapping her arms around me tightly, tucking me under her chin. The action reminded me of my mother and I let out a shuddering sob before I clung to her tightly.
Ani was all the comfort I had in this moment. I was alone in the world without her by my side. I was taken from my home and stuck in a sea of what I now knew was hate and I didn't know if I had the strength to keep swimming or if I would simply drown under it all.
"I am here for you and it will be okay." Her words were said with conviction and I held to her tightly. I knew she would be there for me but I also knew it wouldn't be okay until I was wrapped in Rhex's arms. Nothing would make it okay other than that.