"Well, Rhex is going to be in hypersleep for two more days, then he is going to need to be processed for training so I do not see why you could not talk to him in three days." Nadila took a graceful drink from her cup and I gave her a grateful smile. I wasn't the healthiest looking, the separation between Rhex and I was taking its toll. "I will worry about the details, Liviya. You should probably focus on sleeping." She gave me curious look and I gave a tired chuckle.
"I can't sleep. The separation is hard." I looked into her lilac eyes and she gave me a bright smile, waving me off slightly.
"No worries, Liviya. I am sure you will be fine. Ghilesh told me you visited him and I am sorry I could not come to see you sooner. Khos has been all over me constantly about protocols. I think he is just doing it so I cannot spend time with you." She took another drink and I sipped at my water. "Kher is not stepping out of line, is he?" I shook my head. He had been glaring at me constantly but he hadn't tried anything so far. Ani was very careful about staying by my side while I was at the Centre.
"And the schooling? How is that coming along?" Her gaze let me know the change of subject was deliberate. As if it was her way of getting me to focus on something that wasn't almost terrifying.
"It's alright. Mr. Dahgme is difficult but with Ani's help I'm actually learning about things. I feel kind of bad, she has to translate all of her notes into English for me." I set my glass down on the café table in front of me. Nadila had taken me to the same café she had taken me before.
"She is an intelligent girl. I bet she finds it oddly fun." There was a slight smirk on her face and I smiled at her. Ani had said it was good practice and that before long I would grasp the language well enough to read it.
"She has mentioned that." I took a bite of my sandwich and Nadila seemed to watch me carefully. The sandwich was good but my stomach always tried to rebel against food, no matter what it was.
"Are you sure you are alright, Liviya?" Her tone was soft and I took another drink of my water.
"I can't sleep, I'm tired all the time, I keep getting random chest pains, and I have no appetite but I am okay." I gave her a small smile as I set the glass back down on the table. "I know it will all be okay when Rhex gets back. It's only temporary." I watched as she gave a small nod.
"I wish I could get the phone call sooner for you, Liv. I really wish I could." She reached across the table and grasped my hand and I gave it a slight squeeze. It was nice that she cared. It was nice that Ani cared, having people care about me in a sea of others who didn't was nice to experience.
"It's alright, Nadila. You have done so much for me already." I let her hand go and picked up the sandwich once more, forcing myself to eat it.
"Liv!" Ani's voice made me turn around and she waved her arms wildly. It made me smile as she came over.
"This must be Ani'tah." Nadila smiled brightly and stood up before holding out her hand. "It is a pleasure to meet you." I watched as Ani shook it quickly before grabbing my shoulder.
"Do you mind if I steal her? I have today's lessons translated." She smiled and I watched as Nadila nodded.
"By all means, learning is important." Nadila stood up and I did as well and she surprised me by pulling me into a tight hug. "You will be okay." She let me go with a smile and I gave her a small wave as Ani grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the café.
~~~~~~
"So, in the star year 85,437, the Kengans declared war on the Orrians?" I looked at Ani in confusion and she frowned slightly.
"No, in the star year 85,437, the Kengans attacked the Orrians without declaring war. Which caused the Orrians to retaliate. No one formally declared war until star year 85, 500. Which was sixty-three years after the attacks started." She tapped on a paragraph further down on my notebook.
I looked at the translated text with confusion before I read what she meant. "Ohhhhh." I read the passage and scratched my forehead. "That makes no sense." I looked up at her as she threw her hands out.
"I know. It's ridiculous. Who waits that long to declare war? They were fighting for sixty-three star years! It was just like someone stopped and was like. 'Oh yah, we should probably declare war.' It was like an afterthought." She frowned and rolled her eyes slightly. "Nothing they did back then made any sense. The war is still going on and it's been like fourteen hundred star years." I smiled at her and couldn't help but laugh. She had a point, the declaration of war after fighting for so long seemed a bit trivial and out of place. I winced as a sharp pain speared my chest, I resisted the urge to rub at the pain. After a few seconds it faded as I knew it would.
"So how are you doing?" She set her notebook down and I smirked.
"I hope when Rhex wakes up that he gets this just as bad as me." At my words Ani started laughing. I watched as she fell backwards onto the couch, grabbing her stomach. I couldn't help but chuckle at the display.
"That will make his training so hard!" She managed to speak between her fits of laughter before wiping her eyes. "I can just imagine this large Orrian soldier sitting there because his chest hurts because he misses his mate. The image is just so oddly hilarious." I had to admit it was slightly funny but at the same time it made my chest ache. I didn't want him to experience the same things as I did especially considering I could take the pain away. It wasn't right that he would be hurting and I was the only thing that could take the pain away but I couldn't. I just hoped he felt that way about me.
I let out a sigh before looking down at my notebook. Ani had left some words in Orrian, she said it would help me grasp the language easier. I didn't disagree with her, I knew the Orrian words for Kengans and star years. The pronunciation was more difficult. Orrians spoke low in the back of their throat, a task I had yet to manage. Silence fell between us as I continued to read about the Kengan-Orrian war. I was lucky they didn't really do tests.
"I do not like this, Liv. You look so tired and sick all the time. I know it is because of the separation but looking at you, I feel terrible." Ani's voice was soft and I looked at her with a shrug.
"It's not your fault. Fate had us separated for a time." I watched as she scowled darkly. I liked Ani but she liked to take things personally. I didn't like how she felt bad for Rhex's deployment. It was if she was blaming herself for everything other Orrians did to me.
"No. Rhex should have been let out of training as soon as you two were bonded." She made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat. "It is a sad state of affairs when they would allow the separation between mates. It is stupid, Liv." Her silver eyes were almost down cast and I shrugged again.
"I can't argue with that, Ani, but it isn't your fault." I reached over the table and grabbed her hand. "You're my friend. I know you are feeling guilty for the entirety of the Orrian race but please don't. They are responsible for their own actions." I let her hand go before setting down the notebook. We had been at it for close to three hours and my brain hurt. I was tired but that was nothing new.
"I say we stop for the day. I do not think my brain can handle any more information." I rubbed at my face and she chuckled before nodding.
"I agree with you there. I would ask you if you wanted to do something but then I remembered this ship is boring and there is nothing to do." She smirked and I rolled my eyes at her statement. Ani made mention of how boring the ship was at least a hundred times per day. I was positive she was trying to tell me she wanted to go to Earth but wasn't sure how to approach the subject.
"You know, I could ask Nadila if we could go to the surface on one of our spare days. I could take you to the old ruins behind my house." I watched as her face brightened significantly. I had guessed right.
"That would be awesome. The surface looks so cool. I've never been down there and it would help with my studies to visit some of the old ruins." Her expression almost looked dreamy and I tried my best to make my expression even.
"It's going to be even more awesome when you realize that if we go to the surface, you get to meet my parents." I watched as her eyes went wide with a bright smile on her face.
"That sounds even better! I heard that your dad is a genetic scientist!" She looked so happy that I couldn't help but laugh. I didn't know what I would do if I didn't have Ani. Her emotions were always so positive that it made you feel better just by being near her. It actually helped with the separation.
Another sharp pain jolted my nerves and I winced. "Stupid separation." I muttered it before standing up and moving to the kitchen. Ani had showed me how most of the kitchen worked. The bubble on the counter was actually a dishwasher and because there was no sink, the cooler in one of the cupboards filled glasses with water. I wasn't sure how they did but you put the cup in and after a few moments it was filled with water. "Must be magic." I placed a cup into the cooler and closed the door, waiting a few brief moments before taking the cup out.
"Boo!" The sudden shout by my ear caused me to practically throw the cup away as I clutched as my chest. I scrambled away and Ani burst into laughter. She gripped the edge of the counter with her hand, as if she couldn't stand without it.
"Fucking Christ, Ani! Don't ever do that again!" I took several deep breaths in trying to calm the harsh pounding of my heart. She had nearly given me a heart attack. I watched as she was practically on the floor, tears streamed down her face and her other hand clutched her stomach.
"Your face! You should have seen your face." She sounded like she could barely breathe and I crossed my arms over my chest, trying not to smile
"You made me spill water everywhere. I was going to drink it but now it's all over the kitchen." I tapped my foot as I waited for her laughing fit to be done but every time she looked at me it just seemed to renew her laughter. "Ani, please stop." The longer she laughed the harder it was for me not to smile at her. It was funny. I didn't like being frightened but the more I thought about it the funnier it became.
I watched as she wiped her eyes, random bursts of giggles erupted from her and she clutched her stomach with both arms. "My tummy hurts. It hurts so bad right now." She winced but another bout of giggles erupted from her.
"That's God's way of punishing you." I fought hard against the smile that wanted to cross my face at yet another one of my dad's strange phrases.
Ani looked confused, her silver eyes narrowing slightly as she tilted her head. "Who is God?" She looked so confused I couldn't help but chuckle and soon the chuckles turned into full-blown laughter. After holding all of it in it just decided to escape.
"I don't know." I shook my head, trying to stop the laughter that escaped but I failed miserably. Another sharp pain lanced my chest and I felt tears in my eyes and to my horror the laughter turned to sobs. I pressed my hand to my mouth trying to stop the sobs from escaping but it didn't help.
I hadn't cried at all since the day Rhex had left and it had been as if Ani had been keeping the feelings at bay but now it was like a tidal wave of sorrow had slammed into me. I closed my eyes, the tears burning fiery trails down my cheeks as I gave into the bone wracking sobs. I slid down the counter and sat on the floor. I felt thin arms wrap around me and I leaned into Ani's embrace.
"It is okay. Let it out, Liv. Let it all out." Her words felt almost empty. Everything was empty without Rhex. My heart felt heavy in my chest like it was a burden to carry without him. Breathing without him was damn near impossible and all of the feelings I had, terrified me. I wasn't prepared for how much he would mean to me. How much I needed him to survive. I wasn't prepared for any of it and now that I was feeling the effects I realized just how terrified I was of all of it.
"I'm scared." I managed to get the words out between sobs and Ani shushed me before pressing my face into her neck.
"I know, Liv. This is scary." She stroked my hair gently as I clung onto her, the tears seemed endless and I let out the emotions I had been avoiding. The fear, the terror, the pain, the hurt, the anger. They all came out in a torrent of tears that I wasn't even sure I wanted to stop. It felt good to cry and I hated that it did at the same time. Tears were a weakness, they showed a vulnerability that I knew people would exploit but at the same time they seemed to be a release for the emotions I was unwilling to show the world.
"I miss him so much and it scares me." The sobs had lost their intensity but the shuddering breaths continued. I was scared because he meant so much to me and I had never been so connected to someone that intensely before.
"The first of many loves will never be easy for its intensity is that of a thousand fiery suns." Her voice was low and soothing and she smoothed her hand over my hair again. "Two beings caught in a raging inferno of the Source's creation. One cannot survive without the other and the other cannot survive without the one. Their love will be the spark that creates the beacons for those lost in the darkness. Their love will ignite the passions that have been faded for a millennia and it shall draw the lost ones from the darkness." Her voice trailed off before she sniffled slightly. I clutched her tightly, trying to bring her the comfort she was giving me.
"Without the first of many loves their souls are darkened, awaiting for the other half that will never come. Banished to the darkness as they had forsaken the light they wait without hope for the first of many to call them back home." She let out a sigh. "The first of many loves will never be easy for the winds of change blow harshly and the darkness will fight back against its fiery light." The words were almost chilling and I pulled back from her embrace, wiping at the tears.
"It is okay to be scared, Liv. Having a passion that burns like a thousand suns for a single person seems terrifying." She gave me a look and I pushed her shoulder gently. "But embrace the fear because Rhex would never let you burn." She pressed her forehead to mine, clasping the back of my neck gently.
"He would never let you burn." Ani's voice brought me so much comfort it was like I had been wrapped in a warm blanket. She was right, Rhex would never leave me to burn from the intensity of our bond. He would be standing right beside me holding my hand.