For the next week or so, Cas kept a close eye on Grace and her kittens, watching them all grow stronger.
Grace recovered quickly, and could be seen jumping in and out of the cat house between eating, drinking, and using the litter box.
When Cas deemed her ready, he decided to introduce Hoagie to her. He brought the dog up to the entrance of the cat house and let him sniff, but held tightly onto his collar.
Grace hesitated, but she poked her nose out and sniffed Hoagie back. They both stood stock still, then Grace abruptly butted her head against Hoagie's nose. Hoagie pricked his ears up in surprise, then wagged his tail. Grace pulled her head back into the cat house, but Cas wouldn't let Hoagie follow her in, and pulled him back.
'Good boy,' Cas murmured, rubbing the top of Hoagie's head. He then stood up and went about his daily routine until Dean came home.
'I think she's been around dogs before,' Cas told Dean. 'She's taken to Hoagie already.'
Dean smiled. 'Good. How are they all doing?'
'They're doing great. Some of them have opened their eyes.'
'And what does Tessa think of them?'
'She loves them. She's going to adopt one.'
'Is she really?'
'She likes the smallest one. He's grey, and she wants to call him Reaper.'
Dean snorted. 'That's... kinda weird.'
'Tessa is a little strange, but it suits her.'
'I'm glad you like her,' Dean said, kissing Cas softly. 'Have you decided which one's ours yet?'
Cas kissed him back. 'I'll show you.' He pulled Dean by the hand into the living room, and sat him down in front of the cat house. He reached into it, and let Grace sniff his hand, then carefully picked up one of the kittens. 'Here.' He placed the tiny kitten with fluffy black fur and white paws in Dean's hands.
'Wow, it's like a tiny little bean,' Dean said, holding the kitten in the palm of his hand. 'Is it okay to hold him like this?'
'Yes, it's very important they get used to human contact around this age, otherwise they start to go feral,' Cas told him.
'Huh.' Dean watched the kitten wobble in his hands, not yet having found his feet.
'I like the white tip on his tail,' Cas smiled.
Just then, Grace chirped inside the cat house.
'She's getting agitated, we should put him back.' Cas gently lifted him out of Dean's hand and back into the cat house, letting Grace sniff his hand once more. He sat back, and Dean put an arm around him.
'What are we gonna call him?'
'I thought about naming after my brother.'
Dean nodded thoughtfully. 'Little Gabe? I like it.'
Cas rested his head against Dean's shoulder, breathing him in. A tingle ran through him. 'Dean...'
'Yeah?'
'Remember what you said? About how I do whatever I want to you?' he murmured into Dean's neck.
Dean smirked, eyes twinkling. 'What did you have in mind?'
Cas smiled, then in one smooth movement, pushed Dean to the floor and held him there, between his knees.
'Right here, in front of the babies?' Dean teased.
'What do they know, they're babies?' He kissed Dean forcefully, feeling the stubble beneath his fingers, and Dean's hands squeezing his thighs. He tugged at Dean's shirt, but before they could do anything else, the door opened.
'Ew, come on, guys.'
Dean sighed and let his head drop to the floor. 'What do you want, Sam?' Dean grumbled, glaring up at him through the archway.
'Jess wanted to meet the kittens, she wants to adopt one. What are you doing?'
Dean gave him an incredulous look. 'What do you think?'
'But it's the middle of the day.'
'What's your point?'
Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. 'Whatever. Are you going to get up?'
Cas was still sitting on Dean, resting his hands on Dean's chest.
Dean flushed slightly. 'Not right now, Sam.'
Sam was confused for a moment, before comprehension dawned on him. 'Gross.'
Dean sighed again. 'Why do people keep walking unannounced into our house, and complaining when we're not decent?'
'Whatever, I'm going to get Mary, you better be up when they come in.' Sam stormed back out of the room, and they both burst into laughter.
Cas pressed his face into Dean's chest. 'You ready?' he asked.
'Yeah, I'm good,' Dean laughed.
Cas stood up and pulled Dean to his feet, clasping his hand tightly.
Dean stumbled slightly, and shook his head. 'Whoa, stood up too fast,' he laughed.
Cas kissed him once more, lingering until Sam came back with Jess and Mary.
Mary immediately reached out and shouted for Cas, so Jess handed her over.
'What do you think she likes about my voice so much?' Cas asked, swaying with her on his hip.
'It has this kinda deep quality. You can feel it in your chest. It's nice,' Dean explained.
Cas beamed at him, and made him turn redder than he already was. 'You want to see the kittens?' Cas said to Mary. 'I think your mom does.'
'Yes!' Jess said enthusiastically.
'This way.'
Cas led them to the cat house and gently put Mary down, before showing Jess the remaining kittens. She chose a tabby one, and named her Smooch.
The five of them sat at the table with coffee, chatting amicably.
'I take it things are going well, then?' Jess laughed.
'Not if people keep interrupting us,' Dean grinned, rubbing Cas's leg under the table.
'Should we take that as our cue to leave?' Sam said, gathering Mary up.
'If you'd called first, you could have stayed longer, but we got some stuff to take care of.'
'That's too much information, Dean.'
'Stop being weird and asking, and I'll stop being weird and telling you.'
Sam rolled his eyes, but the three of them left, so Cas and Dean could finish what they started.
Cas became more confident as the kittens did. The strength returned to his right hand, and with Tessa's help, he was more stable than he had ever been.
Tessa took to doing the groceries for him, ignoring Dean's protests. 'I'm here to help you and take away some of the strain, and I've decided that doing the groceries will help you both,' she argued.
She helped Cas keep track of his routine, and kept him moving, making sure he was taking the right pills at the right time, and helping him with his exercises. She even helped keep the house clean while Cas was out at the gym.
Dean slowly worked his way through the expensive cars at the shop, taking care to make sure each part was running smoothly.
Cas found him home early one afternoon, after he sent Tessa home. 'Did you finish work already?' Cas asked happily.
Then the smell of whiskey hit his nose, and his heart stopped.
Dean was leaning against the counter, staring down at a glass, the open bottle behind him.
Cas stared in shock, then threw himself forward. He slapped the glass out of Dean's hand, smashing it on the floor, and poured the bottle down the sink.
Dean blinked and bent over slightly, holding his chest and letting out the breath he had been holding. 'Thanks,' he said, breathing heavily.
'What happened?' Cas asked, gingerly stepping over the shards of glass to get to him. 'Did you buy this?'
Dean shook his head. 'It was a gift. Client gave it to me. I finished working on his favourite car today.'
'Come on, come and sit down,' Cas said, leading Dean by the arm.
'The glass...'
'I'll get it. I left Hoagie outside, he's fine. Come on.'
He sat Dean down at the table, and held both of his hands.
'I don't know...' Dean mumbled. 'It was like I was on autopilot. I just poured it into the glass before I even knew what I was doing.'
'But you didn't...?'
'No, I didn't. I stopped myself before... but I couldn't - I couldn't put it down...'
Cas lifted Dean's chin with a finger. 'You didn't do it,' he said firmly.
'But I could have.'
'But you didn't.' Cas kissed his hands. 'You did so well. I'm proud of you.'
Dean snorted. 'You're proud of me?'
'I am.'
Dean sighed, and hung his head. He looked so tired. 'Who made you so damn sweet?' he murmured.
Cas lifted his head back up and kissed him. 'I think you did.'
'There you go again.'
'I seem to recall someone saying something about the stick I used to have up my ass,' Cas smiled. 'Good thing you removed it.'
'Yeah, I charmed it right out of you.' He smiled weakly, but rested his head on the table.
Cas bit his lip, trying to think of something to cheer Dean up. 'I thought of something,' he said.
'Oh?'
'A good thing about my accident.'
Dean raised an eyebrow. 'Really?'
'We talk more now. We're honest,' Cas told him. 'We both had things we hid from one another before. We don't do that now.'
Dean finally laughed. 'Is that it?'
'Don't laugh, it's true.'
'Yeah, it is.'
'It's good to look for a silver lining.'
'I'm not arguing.'
Cas sat back slightly, eyeing Dean up. 'I want you to take me on a date.'
Dean blinked in surprise. 'What?'
'I'd ask you, but I don't know where anything is, and I can't drive.'
Dean chuckled. 'That's one way to ask.'
'I'm not asking. I want you to ask.'
Dean smiled again, the sparkle returning to his eyes. 'All right,' he said, drawing himself up and taking a breath. 'Castiel, will you go on a date with me?'
Cas shivered at Dean using his whole name. 'I would love to.'
Dean grinned and finally kissed him back. 'How do you do it?'
'Do what?'
'How do you make me feel so much better?'
'I'm very distracting.'
'You're very beautiful.'
Cas hugged Dean tightly. 'I'm glad I could help. I'll go clean up the glass.' He stood up. 'And you should let the dog in before he wags his tail right off,' he said, gesturing at Hoagie staring at them through the French doors.
Cas carefully swept up the glass and mopped the floor, listening to Dean talking to Hoagie in the other room, and smiled to himself. 'I feel much more like myself lately,' he said loudly, so that Dean could hear him.
'I can tell,' he called back.
Cas tipped the glass into the trash, following it with the bottle. He moved to grab a mop, and was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to throw up. He stumbled over to the sink, but missed.
'Cas?' Dean called.
Cas couldn't say anything back, he just lay down on the ground and blacked out.
He came around briefly, to Dean gently wiping his face with a cloth.
'That was a close one,' Dean murmured. 'Sorry, I was distracting Hoagie.'
Cas groaned, and tried to sit up, not getting very far until Dean pulled him into his shoulder. He then fell asleep again, nestled against Dean on the kitchen floor.
When he finally woke up, it was getting dark, shadows deepening across the kitchen floor. Dean had adjusted them, so that they were resting against the kitchen cabinets.
'This is my favourite way to wake up,' Cas mumbled, cuddling closer to Dean.
'Mm.' Dean scrunched his face, rubbing his chest.
'Does it hurt?' Cas asked, placing his own hand on Dean.
'It's just a little tight,' Dean said. 'Nothing I can't handle.'
'It'll pass.'
'My own damn fault for forgetting my pills again.'
'You're worse than me,' Cas chuckled. 'We should get pizza tonight.'
'Oh yeah, you got a craving?' Dean laughed, ruffling Cas's hair.
'I want you to rest,' Cas said softly, looking up at him. 'You're exhausted.'
'I'm fine,' Dean insisted.
'You're not. So we're going to get pizza, we're going to eat it in our chairs, and we're going to watch crappy movies, all right?'
'Sounds good to me.'
Cas moved until he was kneeling in front of Dean. 'I want you to rest more,' he said seriously. 'Tessa takes care of me well enough. You need to stop worrying, you'll make yourself sick.'
'I'm already sick, that's what the pills are for,' Dean joked.
'Dean.'
'All right, all right,' Dean said, kissing Cas's forehead. 'Pizza and movies it is.'
'Good.'
But Dean didn't move, and Cas watched the emotion crash over him, shushing him, holding his head and helping him breathe through his panic.
'I know it's hard,' Cas whispered, squeezing Dean's hand. 'You can do it.'
Dean rubbed his face and took a few more steadying breaths. 'Man, that sucked,' he sniffed, wiping his eyes.
'You need to go back to your therapist.'
'Probably.'
Cas stood up, wobbling slightly, and wrote a note on his whiteboard, to remind them to book Dean an appointment.
'Thanks.'
Cas lifted Dean to his feet, kissing him, hoping to empart warmth and comfort. He took Dean's arms circling his waist to mean it was working.
Dean rested his head in the crook of Cas's neck, then started revolving them on the spot, humming quietly, until he felt better and ordered the pizza.
That weekend, Cas made Dean find things to do that would help him relax. He settled on cleaning the car, and broke out all of his high end products.
'She's getting special treatment today,' Dean grinned.
'Are you sure about this? You work on cars all week,' Cas frowned, putting a hat on Dean's head to shade him from the sun.
'I do what people tell me to do to their cars. Baby's all mine.'
Cas shrugged, squinting at the car. 'Something's different.'
'Tinted the back windows,' Dean told him.
'Why? I thought you would hate to modify her like that.'
'I did it after your last surgery. The sun was hurting your head, so I thought it would help, if I had to throw you in the back seat again.'
Cas beamed at him, and he rolled his eyes.
'Don't get too excited, it peels off.'
'It's sweet of you anyway.'
Dean snorted, and continued cleaning out the car. He opened the trunk and Cas helped him pull out all of his emergency supplies. Dean was tucking them away safely in the garage, when Cas reached for something silvery.
Cas grabbed it, and pulled out an intricately engraved gun. It was surprisingly light. He turned it over in his hands, examining the patterns, and the mother-of-pearl grip. 'Why do you have a gun?'
'Whoa, whoa, gimme that,' Dean said, gingerly taking it from Cas's hands.
'Why do you have it?'
'It was my dad's.' Dean put it away with the other things from the trunk.
'Do you know how to shoot it?' Cas asked curiously.
'Of course.'
Cas raised an eyebrow. 'I find that very attractive.'
'You don't say,' Dean grinned.
The last thing Dean took out of the trunk was Cas's coat, still blood-stained. He held it for a moment, then put it with everything else, so that he could vacuum inside the trunk.
Cas watched him, imagining him shooting the gun with great interest.
'Stop looking at me like that,' Dean said, blushing.
'I'll look at you how I like.'
'Look at me later, I gotta wax the car. She's not finished 'til she's all pretty.'
Cas groaned dramatically, but decided to test out the tinted windows, and climbed into the backseat of the car.
He was always relaxed in Dean's car, but the darkened windows made the backseat cosy. He lay back, and watched Dean work his way from the front of the car and down the sides, admiring the care he took over it. He rolled down one of the windows and poked his head out.
'What are you doing?' Dean laughed.
'Watching.'
'Why?'
Cas shrugged.
'Move over, I gotta get this.'
Cas pulled his head back in the window, so that Dean could reach part of the roof over his head.
Dean reached his arms up, and as he did so, his shirt lifted, exposing a strip of skin. Cas stared at it for a moment, before grabbing Dean's waist and kissing.
'Hey, that tickles,' Dean laughed, squirming under Cas's grip.
Cas was only more insistent with his kissing along Dean's stomach.
'Come on, man, I gotta finish this,' Dean complained, though didn't move away from Cas.
'I didn't say you had to stop,' said Cas, slowly unbuckling Dean's belt.
Dean laughed nervously. 'You want me to - while you-?'
'Exactly.'
Dean pulled out of Cas's grasp, and bent over to look Cas in the face. 'When did you turn into such a horndog?'
'Since I went over a year without even knowing what I was missing,' Cas said, covering Dean's mouth with his own before he could say anything else. He kept kissing, moving his tongue in ways he knew Dean liked, running his fingers along Dean's jawline, and gently nibbling Dean's bottom lip, until Dean moaned softly. Then Cas pushed him back out of the window. 'You'd better get back up there,' he said. 'The car's not gonna wax itself.'
'Cas...'
'Save your breath, you'll need it in a minute.'
Dean laughed again, and went back to waxing, while Cas unbuttoned his jeans.
It wasn't long before Dean was leaning heavily against the car, breathing hard, and Cas was putting his belt back on for him.
Cas then climbed out of the car, using the door that Dean wasn't leaning against, and walked around to look at his blazing cheeks. 'You all right?' he asked.
'Yeah, just a little light-headed,' Dean puffed. 'Wow.'
Cas chuckled, patting Dean's shoulder. 'Lemonade?'
'Sure.'
When Cas came back with their drinks, the redness in Dean's face had lessened, and his breathing returned to normal.
Dean gulped down almost half of his glass and grinned at Cas.'How about you? You need anything taking care of?'
'I'm fine for now,' Cas smirked. 'You should finish the car.'
'Right.'
Dean finished waxing and polishing the car, then finally tucked everything back into the trunk, organising it nicely.
Later that day, Cas snuck back into the trunk and took out his coat while Dean wasn't looking.
During the week, while Dean was back at work, Cas had Tessa take him to the dry-cleaners, and he waited excitedly to see if they were able to remove the stains.
The man that brought it back to him smiled and handed it over. 'Good as new,' he said proudly.
'Really?' Cas said, holding it to his chest.
'Yep, got all the blood out for you. Must have been some accident.'
'Yes, it must have been. Thank you for cleaning it.'
'You're welcome.'
Tessa drove him home again, and he fidgeted impatiently.
'Do you think he'll be surprised?' he asked Tessa.
'I'm sure he will be,' she said warmly.
He sent her home a few minutes early that afternoon, so he could get dressed. He considered asking Jody for her help, but he decided that he wanted to do it himself, and see what he could remember.
He laid the coat out on the bed, and carefully went through the clothes in the wardrobe. Dean had never bothered to separate them, so Cas couldn't quite be sure of which were his.
He carefully chose a shirt, a soft blue sweater, and comfortable black pants. As he was putting them on, a blue tie caught his eye, so he grabbed that as well. He took it all out into the hallway, to check himself in the full-length mirror hanging on the wall. It looked almost right, as he threw the coat around his shoulders, and tied his tie. He squinted at himself, something still missing. His eyes travelled up to his hair, and he realised what it was. Most of the time, he would comb his hair flat, so that it wouldn't get tangled if he had a seizure, but he remembered seeing it more ruffled in some photos of himself. He ran his fingers through it, until he thought it was sufficiently fluffy, and he was combing his beard just as Dean came through the door.
Dean froze and stared at him.
'What do you think?' Cas asked nervously. 'I had it cleaned.'
Dean didn't say anything at all.
'This is how I would dress, right? I think I remembered it.'
Dean's face was inscrutable, as his eyes roved over Cas.
'I can - I can take it off-'
'Don't you dare,' Dean said in a low voice, striding over to him.
'You like it?'
Dean pushed him up against the wall by way of an answer, kissing him fiercely. 'I was going to take you out tonight,' he mumbled into Cas's neck, 'but you look too damn good in that to wait.'
Cas spun him around, and pushed him towards their bedroom. 'Get on the bed,' he commanded, and Dean grinned.
'You remembered how to do the voice,' he said.
'Did I say you could talk? Get on the bed.'
Dean did as he was told, and Cas stood over him, then hesitated.
'Keep going, you got it,' Dean encouraged.
'I'm not sure...'
'Do you want to stop?'
'Did I do this often?' Cas asked.
'Not often, but...'
'And you like it?'
Dean bit his lip. 'I really do.'
'All right.' Cas drew himself up to his full height again and quirked an eyebrow. 'Take off your clothes.'
Dean grinned again. 'Whatever you say.'
Cas was even more determined to remember what had happened on the beach, and why he kept painting it, when he saw how happy even such a small thing as his coat made Dean. He decided that he and Hoagie had had enough practice, and took him out into the village, now that the both of them were comfortable with him riding in the basket on the bicycle.
Even still, Cas was careful. There were sharper corners to round, and he hadn't yet been able to test Hoagie's seizure training from where he was sitting, though he hoped he wouldn't have to.
Tessa added it to their schedule, so she could do their grocery shopping, while Cas and Hoagie cycled around the village.
Cas became more confident with it, and he wore his coat more often, just for the way Dean's eyes lit up when he saw it. He finally managed to get Dean to relax more, and he was preparing himself for the cycle out to the beach. Everything was going well, until he came home one afternoon, to find a man sitting at the dining room table, munching on a large bag of Doritos.