The party was in full swing when Peter and Wade entered, through the door this time.
"Peter, finally! —" Tony began, when his eyes fell on Wade.
"Hey everyone. This is Wade Wilson, my boyfriend." Peter said it proudly with a blinding smile and Wade promptly swooned against him.
"You're literally the hottest thing in the world," he cooed, as Peter grabbed him around the waist and held him up effortlessly.
"What the fucking Christ is Deadpool doing here? And what the hell is he wearing?? " Tony growled to Steve. "I had hoped we would never see him again." He turned to look at Steve, expecting sympathy. "Steve?"
"It's good to see Peter smile like that again." Steve's reply was fond.
"Judas," Tony hissed. Bucky eyed him darkly from Steve's other side.
Steve just smiled, looking at happy and glowing Peter.
Wade's eyes flitted around the room from one disapproving face to another. "This is like Scarlett O'Hara going to Melanie's birthday party in that scandalous red dress after she was seen hugging wet Ashley," he stage whispered to Peter.
"Who?"
"Oh. My. God. You've never seen Gone with the wind?? Fucking Ashley," Wade muttered inexplicably. "Shit or get off the pot. And you, my adorable arachnid boyfriend, we're definitely going on a romcom bender. Again. But now, come on, the lions are hungry. Lift up your skirts, breathe through your tits and let's face the music."
Peter snorted. "I'm not the one wearing a dress, Wade. You are."
"I know! I was talking to myself," Wade said and lifted his skirts, held his head high and followed Peter.
When Wade had heard they were going to a party, he had insisted they stop at one of his safe houses on the way. Peter had swung them there, following Wade's instructions, elated to have his solid weight curled around his back again.
"What is this place?" Peter had asked, looking around the mostly bare apartment.
"Just a place I own. I needed somewhere to stash extra stuff. Now, change, doll face. I need to see what I'm working with," Wade had ordered.
Rather than strip, Peter had just pulled on his party wear over his Spider-Man suit. The spandex was really comfortable and he never knew when he'd need his superhero alter ego.
To Peter's mortification, Tony had not only told him he was paying for Peter's party wear, but he had taken Peter shopping personally. Peter had absolutely refused a full suit, so they had eventually settled on a well cut pair of grey slacks and a deep red silk shirt. Tony had also bought him a slim black leather belt and a pair of grey and black shoes which Tony had called 'Oxfords' and which had cost more than Peter's monthly rent in his old apartment.
"Like two scoops of ice cream," Wade had cooed when Peter had obediently twirled around.
Peter had waited in the bare living room, trying to read the blood splatters on the wall like a Rorschach's test, while Wade changed so that he could make a grand entrance. Then Wade had walked in and Peter's jaw had dropped. Wade was wearing a stunning ruffly evening dress, a delicate white and green off the shoulders design that showcased Wade's strong leather clad shoulders. Wade was of course wearing his full Deadpool suit under the dress and the red and black clashed magnificently with the green of the dress.
"Oh my god..." Peter had whispered, taking in the splendor. "You look... you look really good," he had said, and Wade had preened, turning partly around and looking at Peter coyly over his shoulder before turning back around.
"You are looking so scrumptious in that," Wade had said and wiggled his finger over Peter, "so I had to dress up, too."
"Wade... How on earth is it going to look when I swing us into the Tower?" Peter had asked dubiously, imagining Wade's dress billowing in the wind as they swung form building to building.
"Never fret, my pet! I can just teleport us into the Tower!"
"You can what?"
Wade had shimmied aside the wide green satin sash he was wearing around his waist and pointed at the slim belt underneath. Peter had thought it was just another tool belt accessory when Wade had clipped it on over his suit earlier. He must have put it over the dress when he was changing just now, for easy access.
"This, my arachnid bae, is a teleportation belt. Let me show you." Before Peter had been able to more than squeak, Wade had grabbed his hand and they had both blipped out of existence. They had rematerialized just outside the door to Tony Stark's penthouse in the Avengers Tower.
Peter had groaned and grabbed his knees, his head down. "That was the worst... Never again, Wade."
"It feels a bit weird, sure," Wade had said, eyeing Peter.
"I'll take you wherever you want to go, Wade. I don't like that thing. Where did you even get it?"
Wade had looked cagey. "Ah, that is a story for another time. Let's party!"
Following his own advice to Peter, Wade now lifted the hem of his skirts gracefully and swanned from guest to guest after Peter. He was practically giddy, leaking joy and good will at everyone, despite the other guests' at best chilly politeness.
Pepper was a rare exception. She leaned in to kiss Peter's cheek. "Happy birthday, Peter. And welcome Wade. Peter has told me a lot about you."
"Thank you," Wade said, curtsied deeply and kissed her hand.
"Oh, you," Pepper said and went pink.
Seeing Pepper made Tony even more morose. She had dumped Tony a few months back, claiming that Tony was neglecting her over his work at the lab and that Bruce saw more of Tony than she did. Tony had promised he would change, but Pepper knew him too well. Besides, everyone knew it was just the final straw. The break up had been long in the making.
Tony sulked in a corner, watching Peter make his round around the room.
Bucky exchanged a glance with Black Widow who nodded at him grimly. They knew an assassin when they saw one. And both had read Wade's file. Their gazes followed Wade around the room as Peter went around, accepting birthday wishes and introducing Wade to everybody, even though many had met him before.
The two finally found their way to Tony and Steve.
It had taken Peter some time to shake the guilt over what he had seen the night Wade left when he had looked in on Steve and Bucky's window. It had made Peter even more guilty when Steve had taken it upon himself to be a big brother figure to Peter. He had sent Peter text messages if he didn't see or hear from Peter for a few days.
"Dear Peter, it's Steve. Have you eaten today? I sent you Bucky's lasagna by drone, just in case. Best regards, Steve Rogers."
"Dear Peter, it's Steve. Tony told me about your friend Harry. Do you want to talk? I can come over if you want company. Best regards, Steve Rogers."
"Dear Peter, it's Steve. We are having a movie night at the Tower. Please come. You can choose the movie. Best regards, Steve Rogers."
Peter found Steve's oddly formal messages equal parts endearing and frustrating. "You know I can see the texts are from you on my phone, right? You don't have introduce yourself—"
"It would be rude not to," Steve had said stubbornly. Apparently a 1930s upbringing was hard to shake.
Peter hadn't fully gotten over his guilt until a few months later when the rest of the Avengers had returned to the Tower from dinner which Steve and Bucky had opted out of and walked into the common room only to find Bucky bouncing on Steve's cock on the couch. Tony had exploded. The next time Peter went to the Tower there was a new couch in the common room. Steve and Bucky had been unrepentant and apparently impervious to embarrassment. "We lost 70 years, we're not wasting another minute," was all Steve had said.
"Mr Stark, mr Rogers—"
"For the hundredth time, Peter, please call me Steve."
"Yes, sir. Steve, sir. This is Wade, my boyfriend."
"So you said," Tony muttered darkly.
"Good to have you back. I trust you will take good care of Peter, son," Steve said bracingly and slapped Wade's shoulder.
"Yes, Daddy," Wade purred.
Peter gasped, Steve looked horrified and Bucky nearly coughed up a lung, laughing so hard. When he recovered from his coughing fit, Bucky eyed Wade. "At least you keep things interesting."
"I try my best," Wade said modestly.
Before it had a chance to get even more awkward, Black Widow appeared as if by magic. "I'm just going to steal Peter for a moment," she said and dragged a spooked Peter away, leaving Wade to face Tony and Bucky alone.
Tony wasted no time. "I know why you left, Wilson. Don't think that changes anything."
"I know I don't deserve Peter--" Wade started.
"That's right you don't. He's a good kid and you're bad news. I didn't buy that good guy act you were selling him before you left for a minute. You're a danger to Peter and everyone else around you. Peter's far too good for the likes of you." Tony's voice was caustic.
"Tony..." Steve started.
"It's not an act, Tin Can. I know Peter could do much better than me. But for some reason he wants me. And as long as that's the case, I am sticking to him like a wart. Peter's the best thing that happened to me. He's sunshine and puppies and rainbows, and he's good and pure and heroic and has the best ass in the galaxy, and I am grateful for every single second I get to spend with him."
"You're so embarrassing," Tony groaned, momentarily distracted from his deep mistrust of Wade by all the gushing.
"You think love is embarrassing? What is wrong with you?" Wade's honestly appalled voice made Tony flinch.
Cap and Bucky looked at each other. "I can't believe it, but I'm with Wilson on this one," Bucky muttered.
"Love is the best thing there is. Always. Why should anyone feel ashamed to admit it? And Peter is perfect." Wade lapsed into gushing about Peter until all Tony could do was walk away.
Tony retreated into a corner with Bruce, launching into a petulant rant of all his grievances with Wade. "Fucking Wade Wilson."
"I'm sure you're right, Tony, but it is a party..." Bruce said cajolingly.
"So, you and Deadpool," Natasha said when she found a quiet corner for the two, looking at Peter like she always did, like she could see right through him.
"Uh, yeah," Peter squeaked. Even though Peter had fought alongside the Avengers for over two years now, he was still rather terrified of her.
"You know Tony doesn't like him. And you know what he is. He's dangerous."
"He's not!" Peter exclaimed. "Not to me. And not to anyone else either. Unless they're trying to kill innocent people."
Natasha cocked her head, watching Peter's outburst with a cool detachment. "It takes more for a relationship to work than your partner to not be dangerous."
"What are you saying?" Peter asked, confused.
"I'm asking what you see in him," Natasha clarified.
"I... he... he makes me laugh," Peter said, shocked into an honest reply. "He makes me pancakes, and he talks, like all the time, he talks to me and with the voices in his head. It's... nice. I can just sit next to him and not have to talk if I don't feel like it."
"That helps with your grief over Gwen," Natasha observed.
"Uh, yeah... I guess?" Peter said, his eyes wandering to Wade, even now twirling his hooped skirts in front of unimpressed Sam. "And he's so hot he makes my brain melt," he blurted out, then clapped his hands over his mouth.
"I see," Natasha just said and walked away, picking up a bottle of Russian vodka on her way and curling up next to Hawkeye on one of the plushy couches. Like usual, the archery expert kept to the edges of the party. "All the better to keep an eye on everyone," Peter had once heard him say. Why, Peter had never had the courage to ask.
Wade and Peter reunited with relief after their separate confrontations, Peter still rattled at the surprisingly deep revelations Natasha had prompted from him.
They headed to the buffet table at one end of the room, Wade loaded up a plate with all the best things on the table and lead Peter to the new couch. He pushed Peter onto it and sat in his lap, fiddling with his skirts primly until they cascaded over their legs perfectly. Wade pulled up the plate and touched the edge of his mask. Then he froze. He'd never taken his mask off when he was with Avengers.
"Wade, you can do whatever you're comfortable with," Peter said, guessing why Wade was hesitating. "I would like to kiss you though," he said, his face flushing adorably.
"Well, I will never say no to that," Wade said and pulled up the bottom half of his mask. Peter smiled and kissed him enthusiastically. When they were both humming happily, they turned their eyes to the massive amount of food Wade had managed to pile on the plate.
"You're too skinny, babe. Didn't I tell you to eat when I left?" Wade admonished. "I'm going to fatten you up. That bubble butt needs a more solid frame to support it."
"I just didn't always have time--- mmmmphh!"
They sat on the sofa, feeding each other between kisses, ignoring the disapproving looks they were attracting from some of the other guests.
Wade was just holding the last morsel in his fingers, debating whether to eat it himself or feed it to Peter, when lightning flashed outside and seconds later Thor flew in through the open doors to the balcony which surrounded the whole top floor of the tower.
"Now that's an entrance," Wade sighed with envy.
This was the first time Wade actually met Thor. Thor had taken Hulk with him on the rainbow bridge after the scarehare incident, and then all that had happened with Peter and Wade had left town.
Wade pulled his mask back down, pushed the last morsel in Peter's direction and jumped up from Peter's lap. He made a beeline to Thor and cuddled up to Thor's pecs, batting his non existent eyelashes at the God of Thunder who looked bemused. "Hey, pretty boy. Haven't seen you since we killed all those scarehares. Did you miss me?"
"AS FLATTERED OF YOUR INTEREST THOUGH I AM, I DO NOT WANT TO MAKE AN ENEMY OF FRIEND PETER. HE IS SMALL BUT MIGHTY—"
"Hi Thor," Peter said resignedly. He'd set the now empty plate on a side table and walked over.
"You told Thor about me?" Wade was beside himself with joy, beaming at Peter.
Steve introduced them. "Thor, this is Wade Wilson, goes by Deadpool. And this is of course Thor, our occasional Asgardian."
"GREETINGS, WADE SON OF WIL. OH! I HAVE MET YOUR BROTHER." Thor brightened at the thought and plucked Wade's hand off his god-tier ass.
"Brother?" Wade asked, unfazed by the rejection.
"SAM, SON OF WIL."
Steve snorted and Wade's eyes lit up.
"He's no brother of mine," Sam yelled from across the room. Thor's voice carried.
"Who are you to argue with a god, bro?" Wade fired back. "Give your long lost brother a hug!" Wade cooed and headed for Sam, who dodged Wade's hug attempt, muttering curses.
Wade snickered and made his way back to Peter, who was looking unamused.
"It was mere scientific interest, baby boy. I've never copped a feel with a god," Wade said hastily. He leaned in and whispered, "Yours is better. Definitely juicier. Fits perfectly in my hands." His eyes drift to worship Thor again. "He is so big though. And strong. I bet he could hold me down and fuck me until I begged for mercy."
"Wade!"
"As Thor is my witness, I will never grab his ass again," Wade swore, making Pepper, passing by, laugh in her drink. Peter just looked puzzled. "I swear, Gone With the Wind. We're watching it as soon as possible."
Thor had come bearing gifts. He took out a bottle of something that made Bucky's eyes light up.
"Is that the good stuff?"
"NOW IS YOUR CHANCE AT IMPROVING YOUR PERFORMANCE," Thor promised. He looked around and spotted Banner. "FRIEND BANNER. MIGHT HULK JOIN THE PARTY FOR A MOMENT? HE AND I HAD GOOD TIMES IN ASGARD —
"No," Tony said sternly, "no Hulk. I just redecorated this place. The last thing we need is a drunk Hulk wrecking it again."
Thor looked disappointed. "ANOTHER TIME THEN. COME FRIEND BUCHANAN JAMES, LET US DRINK."
The Asgardian liquor, whatever it was, was potent. Later, no one remembered whose idea it was to have a talent show.
"Oooh, me! Pick me!" Wade cried, his hand in the air, when the idea was floated.
"No," Steve said a little desperately. "Natasha, why don't you get us started?"
It took some persuading and some more of the liquor, but Natasha finally walked to the stage. Natasha ended up singing a Russian song which sounded really melancholy, but made Clint and Bucky howl with laughter. When asked, all of them refused to answer.
Next up was Tony, who gave Wade a dirty look. Peter was sure he was going to to recite limericks, his party trick. Tony could make them on the spot, each one filthier than the one before. Peter burrowed into Wade's side. Somehow hearing Tony make up naughty verses made him really uncomfortable.
"There was a stabby fellow named Bucky
Who really had gotten very lucky.
When he scored a hero
His shame dropped to zero
And he made the living room couch all yucky."
As Tony's limericks went, that wasn't too bad. But apparently the Asgardian drink went to Tony's head and his good manners out the window, as his limericks became more pointed until they became not-so-thinly veiled jabs at Wade.
"There was a hunk of a man named Steve
Who was really far too naive.
When he accepted the merc,
Who was a massive jerk,
He was asking to be deceived."
"Tony..." Steve started, but Tony just pressed on.
"There was a shady merc named Wade
Who put on a pretty charade.
When he came to a party
Looking all tarty,
He was asking to be spayed."
When he showed no signs of stopping, Banner dragged him off stage and pushed him into a corner, shoving another drink in his hand.
"Awww..." Wade said. "I think Tin Man is warming to me. He's already writing poetry about me." Peter looked at him fondly. Wade really was undaunted in face of opposition. He snuggled into Wade's lap, too happy to care about Tony's bitterness.
Then Clint took the stage with his bow. Natasha threw fruit loops into the air and Clint fired an arrow through each one, despite Pepper's repeated "That's really dangerous when you're drunk!"
For his party trick, Bucky asked Friday to put on 'You Can Leave Your Hat On' by Tom Jones, his voice slurring a little.
"Bucky..." Steve said, but Bucky just blew him a kiss.
When the music started Bucky began to gyrate slowly in place, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, watching Steve with heavy lidded eyes the whole time. When the shirt came off and Bucky started with the pants, swaying where he stood, Steve jumped up and dragged Bucky off the stage. Bucky staggered and honest to god giggled.
"Goodnight! It was fun!" Steve called out brightly and threw Bucky over his shoulder, heading toward the staircase leading to the living quarters.
"Are you gonna spank me, Daddy?" Bucky asked and tapped the glorious Cap ass his face was dangling a mere inches away from and Steve walked into a wall. Wade cackled with glee.
"Interesting," Bucky purred, his two hands now rolling the meat of Steve's ass like it was dough to be rolled.
"Buck, no," Steve moaned and walked faster.
"Daddy, yes," Bucky insisted and started slapping the ass gently just to see it jiggle, clearly having the time of his life.
"See what I have to put up with?" Tony complained to Bruce.
Peter had avoided the treacherous brew so far, but now took a cup and gulped it down. He did not need a reminder of that night, no, he did not.
"Careful baby boy," Wade said. "You're such a lightweight."
"I can do it," Peter insisted. His face brightened when Banner got on the stage and started to sign a duet with Natasha, something slow and romantic that made Tony look like he'd swallowed a bucket of vinegar. "Let's dance!"
Wade went to the spare bit of floor in front of the bit by the wall they had nominated as the stage and took a dance pose. Peter was having none of that. He jumped into Wade's arms and wound his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck.
"That brew hit you fast," Wade murmured as he cradled Peter in his arms.
"Did not," Peter protested and his smile turned soppy. "Love you," he mumbled and kissed Wade quite likely not even noticing that Wade was wearing his mask down again. "Love you lots."
Wade felt lighter than air. "Love you too, baby boy," he murmured and whirled slowly to the tune of the music.
"Good," Peter said and his head thunked on Wade's shoulder and soon he was fast asleep. Wade whirled slowly in place, even when the music stopped and Thor took the stage to recite something that sounded decidedly Shakespearean. Well, most of what Thor said did.
The other guests were pointedly ignoring the big ball gown wearing elephant in the room, and the nicely dressed limpet stuck on him.
Later Peter had no recollection how he got home, but he woke in his own bed, clad in Wade's sweater and a pair of boxers, spread-eagled on top of Wade and drooling into his slightly sweaty neck. "Wha—?"
"You know, that was a hell of a party," Wade said, smiling fondly.
"It went better than I thought it would," Peter conceded. Well, at least the parts he remembered. "What time is it?"
"5 am."
Peter groaned. "I wanted to go on a patrol with you. I've missed that so much."
"Tomorrow night, angel," Wade promised. "Now sleep."
"Yeah, after the dinner with Aunt May. I promised we'd both go," Peter murmured, his eyes falling shut already, warm and comfy under the thick duvet he vaguely noticed on top of him, cuddled against the furnace that was his hot boyfriend.
"Dinner with your Aunt May?" Wade squeaked. "Peter...." he began, only to notice that Peter had already fallen asleep, a beautiful smile on his lips.
Peter loved his Aunt dearly. There was no way she would approve of Wade. Wade clutched Peter tighter in near terror.
---
A/N:
This is the dress Wade is wearing (well, a copy of it. Actually, you never know with Wade):
Source of the above photo: http://t2online.com/lifestyle/gone-with-the-wind-s-vivien-leigh-s-clothes-up-for-auction/cid/13428
Main image source: https://twitter.com/Hystu1/status/984823623893635072
This isn't what they're wearing to the party, but that's the attitude.