"The hardest pain about being a parent is watching your child go through something and knowing you can't fix them"
- Unknown
"Drive faster Tumelo."
I don't think I've ever been this nervous in my life before. I could feel my heart beating inside my chest. Through the three months that I've mothered Mihlali she's been sick, but never to the point that she needs to go to the hospital.
I don't know how to feel. I don't know who to blame. I don't even know why I went on this date. It seems like the date ruined everything for me.
I should have just went back to KZN with my child, sat with her in front of the TV and ate some Sweet Chilli Doritos while she had her Butternut puree.
"Please stop overthinking babe, I'm also stressed. I don't like seeing you in this state" Tumelo said as he rubbed my thigh with his free hand.
"Tumelo this is my daughter we're talking about" Tumelo nodded his head and turned down the radio so we could have a proper conversation.
"When Mihlali gets out of hospital, we'll never go anywhere without her. I'm so sorry, I also blame myself"
"It's okay. It's not your fault Tumelo" I said.
My phone rang at that time and I picked it up without checking who it was.
"Hello"
"Ada, you picked up"
I pulled the phone away from my ear to check who it was that was so glad that I picked up the phone. I rolled my eyes when I saw that it was only Langa.
"Oh, it's you"
"I'm at the hospital with Siyanda. Could you please tell your fling to press the gas pedal harder because our daughter needs us" with that he dropped the call. I slammed my head on the seat and Tumelo quickly looked at me.
"Who was that?"
"A fly" I said as soon as we arrived at the hospital. He left me in front of the building while he drove off to look for a parking spot.
I entered the buildings in a hurry and ran to the reception.
"Mihlali Phehlukwayo?" I asked banging my hand on the desk.
A nurse raised a finger whilst she was talking on the phone, giggling. I snatched the phone from her hand. She looked at me with shock plastered on her face.
She then clicked her tongue and typed down her name on the computer. Tumelo came a few seconds later and placed his hand on my shoulder. He gave me a kiss on my cheek.
"Calm down baby, she'll be fine" The nurse gave her directions to her ward and we went there. We found Siyanda and Langa outside the room.
"What's wrong, why are you all outside here? Where's my child and why aren't you with her?"
Langa stood up from the meal seats and walked over to me. He left Siyanda sobbing by herself. I guess Tumelo saw that there was nothing that he could do to calm me down so he took a walk to the small cafe inside the building so he could get me black coffee.
Langa gave me a long hug whilst Tumelo was away. I felt that comfortableness again, that warmth. My safe place.
"You'll be okay. Mihlali is going to be okay. We're her parents. She'll be happy to see us together" he said as he finally let me go and lastly, placed a small kiss on my cheek.
Tumelo came back carrying two cups of coffee in his hands. He gave one to Siyanda and the other cup was for me.
"What did the doctor say?"
"I haven't seen him yet. She's still sleeping that's all I got from Siyanda. I'm just not brave enough to go there" I said placing my hand over my heart. I took a sip of the hot coffee and it burnt my tongue. Memories of the day I met Langa back at the cafe came rushing back.
"You'll be fine Ada wami. You're one of the strongest people I know. Look at how far you've made it, and you're a single mother-'
Langa cleared his tongue besides us and Tumelo rolled his eyes.
The doctor came out of the room a few seconds later.
"Which one of you is Mihlali's family?"
"Me"
"All of us"
The tension in the air got thicker as both Langa and Tumelo gave the doctor two different answers.
"I'm her mother, and yes, all of them are her family"
"Well I'd like her parents to come in specifically, the rest can leave" Tumelo's shoulders slouched in disappointment and so did mine. That did not stop him from coming to me and surprising me with a long kiss. I almost melted in his arms. For a second i forgot where I was until I heard the poor doctor clearing his throat.
Langa and I walked inside the room. It pained me to see Mihlali in this state. I couldn't even cry, I was in pure shock. Her face looked swollen.
"What happened to her?"
"This is nothing bad honestly, your daughter had an allergic reaction. The young woman who brought her in fed her a chicken puree which she's allergic too, hence the swollen face and tongue"
"I don't understand, how can she be allergic to Chicken?" Langa asked.
"Her immune system, mistakenly identified the chicken as a dangerous substance, it created antibodies called immunoglobulin to attack the chicken which is why she's like this" I walked over to Mihlali who was peacefully sleeping. She had a light blanket over her small body. I planted a small kiss on her face.
"Is there any cure for this, Doc?"
"Well I can help with reducing the swelling. I've ran some blood tests to check if she's allergic to anything else or if she has anyphylaxis, if she does, I'll call you in so you can come and collect her EpiPen. I'll elaborate on that further if the blood test comes back positive."
"Thanks a lot Dr?"
"Ndlovu" the man finished off. I shook his hand and watched him write a prescription and sign Mihlali's discharge papers. Langa took Mihlali in his arms with the small blanket wrapped around her and we all went to the car.
"I heard you had an eventful day" Langa said as he strapped a sleepy Mihlali in the car seat. I rolled my eyes and chose to ignore him.
"I also heard you're a single mother?" he said as he slammed the back door and made his way to the driver's seat.
"Oh will you fuckin' stop. If there's something you want to say, just say it and stop beating around the bush like a fucking five year old giving someone clues for a game of Hide The Stick"
"So that's how you feel?" he asked me.I ignored his question and we drove in silence. Adele's beautiful voice could be heard in the stereo and I reached out to turn up the volume but Langa pushed my hand away.
"Can we talk?" he asked me. I don't like this one bit, nothing good ever comes out of talking to Langa. He's such a horrible person. I swear some stupid revelation will come out about how he killed somebody and I swear I'll pull my hair if he tells me something like that. I have enough stress from school already.
"Talk" I said. Langa pulled over at the side of the road and stopped the ignition. I turned back to check if Mihlali was still sleeping and indeed she was.
"What did you see in Tumelo that I don't have?"
"That is not fair at all and you know it. I can't be with someone who's hot and cold. You're the most pettiest human being I know, with Tumelo I don't feel like that. I know that what we have is for sure. He won't turn his back on me"
"I ran a background check on him, and it pains me to say this but he's clean. The guy's good for you and that pains me because I want to be good for you. If I could I would leave all of this behind, start afresh"
I clicked my tongue and reached for the stereo again, meaning that this conversation was over.
"No Ada, we're not done. I don't know how many times I try to stay away from you, there was a point where I even dated your cousin because I wanted you to hate me, maybe that would have been easier but then you don't. You still found it in that beautiful heart of yours to forgive me."
"We're two complete opposites"
"You do Physics and You know the Law of Attraction, unlike poles attract" I laughed at his statement and he took this as an opportunity to place his hand on my cheek and hold up my head,
"I'm bad for you, but you make me want to be a better person. I want you. You and Mihlali are the only family that I have."
I was feeling many things at once, anger, confusion, pain but mostly, lust. I wanted Langa. I could see it in his eyes under the light that was over our heads, that he wanted me just as badly as I wanted him, so I made a move that I might regret the next day.
I leaned in to kiss him and he responded immediately. The next thing I know both our seat belts were undone and I was now sitting on top of him, planting kisses everywhere, his neck, his face, his chest. My hands were also exploring all the parts in his body.
I felt his groin press against my stomach and I slid my hand inside his pants. Just as i was pulling down his zipper, Mihlali startred crying in the backseat.
For the love of God, I even forgot that the child was in the backseat. We both pulled away from our steamy make out session and I opened the passenger door and made my way to the backseat so I could breastfeed Mihlali.
She fell asleep after some time and we were now driving in this awkward silence. As soon as Langa stopped the car in front of the hotel we were staying in, I quickly exited the car and took my baby with me.
He came out of the car behind me.
"No goodbye hug?" He asked.
"I'm carrying the baby" I said moving faster into the building.
"Wait" I turned back and rolled my eyes in the dark even though he couldn't see me" \
"I'll call you?"
I nodded my head and entered the buildings. I didn't check to see if he was still watching. What a long day I had
***
I'm finally done with my exams. YIPEEEEEEEEE. Freedommmmmmm.
I'm not happy with what Ada did, I was starting to like Bra Tumelo. *sigh* but thats life for you. Are you dissapointed witn Ada or vele you were an Lada fan (thats a ship name for Langa + Ada)