FRIDAY FEBRUARY 14TH, 2020
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ONE YEAR LATER and Caleb hadn't gone anywhere. To say this scared Scarlett would be putting things lightly. She didn't expect that one dinner between them would result in them being here.
The two were at a Valentine's Day party that their friend Nate threw with his wife Melinda. It was a small dignified affair and actually the first Valentine's Day party she went to-willingly.
It made it easier since it was at Henry and Adora's restaurant. She felt more comfortable being there.
Scarlett had an interesting year. She graduated from her university with a Bachelor's degree in Social work and not too soon after, she found a job.
For the first few months, she had to train which meant following a senior social worker around on their cases, but soon enough, she was assigned to a young girl.
Her name was Tiffany and she had run away from home about fifteen times in the last year alone. She was only sixteen.
Previous social workers had tried to help her, but no one seemed to connect with her on a deeper level. Not until Scarlett found out what had been happening at home.
Tiffany's mom had been bringing an array of men through their home and it made the girl uncomfortable. Scarlett empathised with that because she had lived it.
Luckily, Scarlett managed to convince Tiffany to trust her, and the girl quickly became comfortable with sharing her thoughts and fears. A bond had quickly formed and solutions to her family situation began to form.
By no means had it all been fixed. Tiffany would never forget the things she'd witnessed, the things that had been done to her, but Scarlett had promised her that she wouldn't go anywhere, and that gave the young girl hope when she had never had any.
And as crazy as it seemed to make a commitment to someone she had just gotten to know, the words became true as soon as she had spoken them.
As for things with Caleb, they was interesting. To say the least.
After a few months of platonic friendship as they had agreed, they ended up in bed together one night, and that singular occurrence became a haphazard routine.
They didn't go on dates but they were always out alone. They kissed, talked in intimate depths, and trusted each other enough to open up.
But they were not together. Scarlett was clear on that, and Caleb respected her choice.
Caleb didn't push her into anything more than what she was comfortable with. The reason being because, after their conversation a year ago, he understood that she needed time and space to heal for herself.
That didn't mean he didn't want more, because he did. He loved her aura, her charms, her sense of humor, and her ability to cheer him up when he needed it. Everything about Scarlett with him felt so natural, and he knew that if he couldn't be with her any other way, this would be enough.
It had to be.
He was content with her pace, as long as he was with her.
"Is it everything you thought it'd be?" Caleb whispered beside Scarlett who was standing in the corner of the room, sipping on her non-alcoholic 'lovegarita' which was just a margarita with red food dye.
Scarlett pursed her lips removing them from her glass, "It's so...pink and red." This made Caleb laugh as he moved around to stand in front of her.
As he laughed, his eyebrows crinkled and his bottom lip caught in between his teeth. Scarlett could never deny how handsome he was. She enjoyed Caleb's company and for the first time in her life, she could truly say that a man hadn't disappointed her. She had expected it, the disappointment, and that's why she was the way she was.
She wouldn't have been here tonight if she hadn't felt bad about him going alone.
Even if he hadn't told her, she knew he had strong feelings for her. When she had figured it out, she had gone on a sort of breather trip to the beach and ran through everything.
She wanted to let him go. She wanted to tell him that whatever they had going on had to end and she almost had. Scarlett had gotten to her apartment where she knew he was because he had been fixing a shelf for her but when she got there, she caught the last piece of a phone call with his best friend Nate.
"Yea, yea whatever." A chuckle passed his lips as he worked on the extremely complicated shelf. "I have no issue helping her man. I'd help her kick my own ass if she asked."
She couldn't hear the other part of the conversation but she could easily figure out what had been asked based on Caleb's response. "She's worth it man," he pauses "I don't know."
"If only she could see what I see. I just have to hold on. She'll see I'm here for the long haul, she just needs time."
The words he spoke had managed to stir up emotions in her that sent her in thought spirals.
She began thinking about her time spent with Gina before she had passed away and all that she witnessed her mother go through simply because she became dependent on a man.
She even tried to compare Caleb with the likes of her mother's trashy ex-boyfriends, but failed miserably because she knew he wasn't the same.
She just needs time he said.
"It's a Valentine's Day party, Scarlett. Those colors are on theme," he mocked.
"Ha, ha. I'm kinda tired." Their day started earlier than she would've liked but Caleb wanted to get something for Nate, so they went out earlier.
Over the last year, she found herself doing almost everything with him. It was almost unconscious at this point.
"We can leave," he said and put his drink down. "Let's just say bye to everyone, alright?"
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"Alright Jen," Scarlett said, hugging her friend. "I'll see you tomorrow for lunch."
"Alright, tell your boyfriend I said he's welcome to come."
Scarlett rolled her eyes, "He's not my boyfriend, and why? I thought it was our thing."
"Well lately, I never see you without him, so I just thought." A frown finds itself on Scarlett's lips.
"I'm not always with him." She argued.
Jen's brow raise as if she's finally realizing that her friend doesn't see what she sees. "It's not a bad thing, Lettie," she placed her hand on her friend's shoulder "I like him. He's good for you and better yet, he's still here."
He's still here. Those words had not stopped repeating themselves in her head and they had left the party four hours ago. Caleb and Scarlett were at his apartment watching another season of a show they started together. "You ok?" Caleb asked as he noticed the worry lines on her forehead.
"Yes."
"You're not, what's wrong?" He paused the Netflix show and sat up more on the couch before turning to face her.
"Are we always together?"
"What?"
"I just mean- Jen said earlier that she never sees us apart, so it got me thinking, are we always together?"
Caleb thought through it. "I mean we see each almost every day. But we're friends. That's normal."
Scarlett shook her head and stood up, putting space between them. She paced a bit before stopping, "I don't think we're friends anymore."
"You're losing me? What are you talking about?" The panic could be heard rising in Caleb's voice as he felt her distancing herself from him. Not only physically, but emotionally.
"I mean," she sighed "I see you more than I see Jen, Caleb. And we sleep together and we eat together, sleep together, and..." She stopped for a few seconds.
"We're past just being friends who occasionally sleep with each other." Caleb took her hand and brought her back to the bed. He looked at her and gave her a chance to breathe before speaking, "How does that make you feel?"
"Anxious."
He inhaled a deep breath, "You want to stop? We can if that's what you want." The silence that followed that question made his stomach twist.
After what seemed like a millennium, Scarlett responded. "No. And that's what scares me."
"Can I say something?" Scarlett nodded
"I adore you and I hope that doesn't scare you even more. I feel like this year we've known each other has been such a test. But in the best of ways.
"We have this friendship that I'm so thankful for and I've gotten to know you in ways I think you didn't even believe possible." The blonde boy took a pause in his spontaneous rant and breathed out, running his hand through his now disheveled hair. "Will you go on a not-date with me?"
"A what?"
"It's like... A date without all the added pressure because it'll be casual and unlabeled."
He expected her to be still, to be confused, and maybe a little angry because even after a year of their friendship, Scarlett was still uncomfortable with the idea of relationships.
Scarlett was still getting comfortable with being friends with him at the level it was. He didn't want to scare her off because, in his whole life, he'd never met a girl who could so easily astonish him.
He couldn't lose her.
But of all the things he expected from her, he didn't expect her arms to firmly wrap themselves around his neck and her lips to meet his with a kiss so feverish he felt it in his toes.
Without another second wasted, his lips began to move against her own. Kissing back with just as much, if not more, fervor than her own.
Soon, Scarlett pulled away from Caleb but not completely. His lips chased hers for more. Her arms snaked from around his neck and her hands cupped his cheeks.
Her eyes were glossy and her lashes a bit wet. A chuckle of frustration passed her swollen lips. Oh how she hated to cry.
"I'm difficult," was the first thing she said.
"You're no-."
"Let me finish Caleb." Her fiery tone made an appearance and Caleb smiled sheepishly and listened letting her continue. "I'm difficult. I've never been in a relationship and I have enough trust issues to share with a couple of hundred people or so."
"Couple dozen at most." Caleb jokes making her laugh.
"I'm kind of a bitch," she searched his face waiting for him to say something but he didn't. "No, you're not Scarlett, you're sweet." She said sarcastically.
"No, you're not Scar-." His sentence cut off by a kiss from his favorite girl.
"I've never had a guy actively pursue me in the way you did. I always cut them off because of this unrelenting fear of abandonment and heartbreak. The way you chased me was no rush me. Not expect anything from me. You let me, be me without shame.
"But, I think the reason why we're so different is you. You wanted to be my friend first.
"I had conditioned myself for so long to stay away from relationships and commitment because of what I grew up with.
"I've watched the woman in my life let go of who she was for men who knew from the beginning they weren't there for the long haul.
"I've heard the sugar-coated words and I've seen the flowers and chocolates, the expensive gifts, the tickets to tropical destinations but all that would last about a month, maybe two and then-then it would be over and from the time I was ten years old, I was consoling my mother from the brink of the edge.
"It was maybe after my mom's seventh boyfriend, Myles, that I realized I wasn't going to be her. I refused to leave a string of heartbroken messes in my wake. I grew up without a dad because he was busy with his girlfriends, leaving his wife and daughter at home to fend for themselves.
"So I decided that relationships were not for me. I was fine with it because I never saw one that was successful.
"I say all this to say, I guess you were right last year when you said that it takes the right person to change someone's life. To be honest, you weren't the only one to tell me that.
"You changed my life. In ways, I never thought possible. You stuck around, through everything you stuck around. I'm still scared but you make things easier.
"You make life easier.
"I can't promise to be the kind of girl who gets excited about Valentine's Day."
A laugh escaped from Caleb, "You don't ever have to be excited for Valentine's Day-not for me."
"I can't promise to not have moments of doubt," she searched his eyes to see if that scared him. But she found none.
Instead, she kept that same melting smile on his face. "Then I'll be right there to reassure you."
"And if I decide that it's too much, we're too much?"
"Then we'll take break for as long as you need."
"That's not fair to you," Scarlett sighed as her heart clenched. These were the words she wanted to hear. That there was an out for her. Because no matter how willing she was to try things with Caleb, to step into a world she had made the decision not to, she knew that she was too messed up inside to not cower away at some point.
Caleb shakes his head, "Oh," he sighs softly while reaching up with both hands to grip her arms as he rubbed with care. A thing he did to show her that he was there with her. "I don't think you understand how much you mean to me love. Having you in any capacity you allow is better than none.
"In this," his eyes moved between them. "You set the rules. I'm here because I care for you. We won't do anything you're not comfortable with Scarlett. If you decide one day that we are too overwhelming, as much as I wouldn't love that, I'd respect it because I respect you."
His small speech had calmed her racing heart. Could she go into this knowing that one day she may break his heart? She didn't know if she could carry that weight. But she also knew another thing. That she didn't want to stop being with him. Even if there was that underlying fear that her own traumas may come up and shake their foundation.
"I don't want to ruin us."
"You couldn't possibly."
"I don't want to lose you."
"You won't ever lose me."
Looking away for a second, Scarlett let one tear fall down her now reddened cheek. Oh, how scared she was. "I don't want you to hate me for breaking your heart."
"I could never hate you."
"Caleb, I'm going to be bad at this. You're going to realize you want something normal and certain and then you're going to leave me."
"Scarlett, love, you do not have to be anything more that who you are with me."
I'm afraid I would do anything for you, a vulnerable Scarlett said in her head, from her heart. She couldn't believe she had poured her heart out to someone. From that moment in high school, she genuinely never believed this moment would happen.
Caleb cupped Scarlett's cheeks and pressed his lips against hers. This time around, the kiss was a simple one.
"I just think we can happy." He said, still holding her but now his arms were around her firmly. "I know we can."
"Yea?."
"Absolutely."
And for the next few minutes, they shared this moment in comfortable silence. Both of their minds on each other and how they would go on from here. But, they both felt internally settled. At peace with their decision to seek for something more within their friendship.
When they pulled away from their hug, Scarlett's eyes met the digital clock on the wall and she was immediately reminded to a certain moment last year.
FEBRUARY 15TH, 2020 | 12:01 A.M.
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"Let me make you to dinner today?" She asked. Her words almost identical to his one year ago exactly.
A smile adorns Caleb's face, "Ok."