"God, you better love me because that was terrifying!"
With a huff, I sit down next to Abraxas.
"What was?"
Sighing heavily, I lean my head on his shoulder lazily, his long hair against my cheek.
"Riddle again..."
"If you don't like him, then why are you trying to be his friend?"
"Because we made a deal," I state, looking up at him, not minding the few stares we were getting. "It's not going to be too much longer until I'm officially free from his slimy grasp, though."
Abraxas lets out a soft chuckle before gently shoving my head off of his shoulder.
"Slimy? Of all the words you could use, you choose that?" Another laugh flows out of Abraxas. "He is supposed to be the greatest wizard in the school."
"Yeah, right," Laughing along with Abraxas, I shake my head slightly. With just our light banter, I already feel better. Pulling out the worst impression I could have ever made of Riddle, I make a strange face slightly resembling his fake charm. "Oh, look at me! The handsome a brilliant wizard! I stare at myself in the mirror and brood to myself in the hallways. Woah is me, for I have no real friends!"
Upon Abraxas hearing my mimicking slander, he bursts out into louder laughs, causing many eyes to turn to us.
Abraxas opens his mouth to speak but suddenly gets interrupted by Professor Merrythought speaking up.
"Alright everybody, time to get started then!"
Looking around the room, I zone out slightly as I realize that Riddle still hasn't arrived.
Finally dismissed from our third period, Abraxas and I stand up from our seats. Students pool in the hallways, flowing out from their classrooms. After making sure we have all of our belongings, we leave as well.
"Imagine this," Abraxas starts as we wander towards the Great Hall for lunch. "Riddle, but he's been pranked with the toe-nail growing hex."
"Ew! Abraxas! That's gross on anybody. You saw what that looked like!"
Throwing a soft punch at Abraxas' arm, we both laugh.
"That's why it's funny! He'd hate it and everyone would laugh!"
Just as Abraxas and I reach for some mouth watering food from the table a voice sounds from behind us. Chills running down my spine, I attempt to compose myself quickly and unnoticeably.
"(L/N)."
Upon hearing the fearful sound, I turn around, Abraxas following suit, and look up at the partially shadowed figure.
"Riddle."
Abraxas coldly states, standing up with disgust. Following suit, I stand up, instinctively standing more behind than beside him. Until now Riddle had at least been on better behaviour with me, trying to be kind and charming. It was as though he wished for nothing more than to fool me and keep me under his spell. Although I can clearly hear the two boys speaking with each other with an audible distaste for the other, they seem like nothing but static to my ears. I need to say something! Anything! I have to fix this, it's getting out of hand. With how loud my brain was, panic coursing through my veins, it was hard to focus on any single thought. I can't just let Abraxas speak for me like this. It's fairly obvious to those closest to the heat that with every word that exits Abraxas's lips Riddle lost more of his calm composure.
"I need you for a moment."
He speaks, voice sweet like candy yet dripping with venom.
"She's busy, can't you see that?"
"Busy or not," He starts, a struggle to remain calm in his burning brown eyes as we all feel the eyes upon us. "I dearly need her help right now."
Abraxas laughs with salt in his tone. "Like hell you do," Abraxas states sharply before snatching my hand and pulling me out of the Great Hall, "Let's go."
Struggling for a moment to pull my hand from his grip I come to a full stop, swiftly turning towards the murderous stare behind us. Palms beginning to sweat slightly, I grapple in search for words. God! Please just say SOMETHING! Finding difficulty in figuring out how to speak again, my lips leave me dry. An almost deafening silence fills the hall. Although the small circle we are in has become perplexed and fixated on the situation at hand, most of the other students continue to talk freely amongst themselves. Nobody dared to raise their voice, to risk alerting any professors, or worse, the Headmaster, of the situation. Somehow remembering some words from the English lexicon, I spoke out a rough sentence, my dry throat causing my voice to be a tad hoarse.
"Maybe later, Riddle, I'm terribly sorry," I begin, attempting to form some kind of smile on my face, "Unless it is crucial I promised I would help Abraxas with some of his classes. I can come find you later if that's alright?"
Goosebumps swarm my body as my mind becomes more aware of the situation. Nothing seemed off at first, but now, having broken out of the frozen shell I had frozen into, I've become nearly hyper aware of just how many eyes were upon us.
Riddle peels his eyes from Abraxas and stares intensely back towards me, his eyes meeting mine, burning, lingering. Heart pounding against my ribcage, I fear it may burst out or halt, unexplainably.
"Isn't Malfoy one of the top students in his classes? What could you possibly help him with?"
As his words leave his cherry blossom lips, a small amount of fear leaves as the insult hits my ears. A bit annoyed now my mind conflicts with itself. Seriously, dude? Ouch...
"You forget that I am also one of the top students of my class, Riddle," shifting my feet uncomfortably, I purse my lips before parting my lips to speak.
"M-"
Just as I get the first sound from the first word of my sentence, Abraxas pipes up a tad quicker.
"Top of the classes or not there are still things one can improve on," Nearly the very second that Abraxas opens his mouth to speak Riddle's lip twitches upwards faintly, "(Y/N) happens to have a brilliant perspective-"
All sounds cut out, a war trapped in our eyes, our souls, Riddles eyes never leave mine, mine never leave his. The world nearly freezes around us. Knowing fully well it would be impossible to understand, to know what Riddle is truly thinking, the most I can do it attempt to close my book's pages. Each second that passes closes my lungs as though a boe constrictor were wrapping itself around my throat. I can feel my body go still, only the tiniest rhythm of vibrations from my hand with each pulse of anxiety. Such a warm colour. His eyes, a warming, brewing, calming brown. The brown you associate with warmth and kindness. The shade that reminds you of chocolate frogs and a free sprit. So how are they so cold? An icy coolness, a frozen chime. I never really saw it before. No- cogs turning I start, I saw it before, I always see it every time I look into his eyes. No matter where he looks or who he looks at, they always seem so distant. No, I saw, but I did not observe.
A faint memory of a story Mr. Potter had told when I was a child swims into my mind, blocking out everything else.
Bright lights and loud sounds surround the five of us as we step inside from the busy streets. A faint noise calls from the living room that reals us all in. Taking off my tiny yellow shoes and large coat, I rush over to the tele, Albus and his parents not far behind.
"-a big day! Many families are celebrating the twentieth anniversary of the previous Lord Voldemort and-"
Although neither Albus nor I ever mentioned him before, we had always been curious. We've heard the stories from older people at Hogwarts and professors in lessons, but we never asked Mr. or Mrs. Potter.
Glancing questioningly at each other, the two of us nod our heads before looking over to Albus's parents, who now sat comfortably on the couch. After Mr. Potter turns off the TV we speak up curiously, nabbing the opportunity of what is a joyous day.
"Mr. Potter-"
"Dad-"
The both of us begin, the two adults' attentions falling to us.
"Why was Voldemort such a bad guy?" I start, "Yeah, how could someone do those things without feeling super bad about it?"
Mr. Potter's eyebrows furrowed, his lips pursed as silence flooded the air.
"Well, from what we were able to understand, what we found, down to the impossibility for him to feel bad."
"How is it it impossible to feel bad for hurting so many people though?"
"Let me tell you a story, it ought to make a bit more sense after that, yeah?"
Nodding shyly, the two of us step closer and sit on the floor crisscross in front of the couch. Staring up eagerly and confused, I tilt my head slightly, curious.
"Once upon a time there was a witch. A witch so in love with a man that she wished of nothing more but to be with him. Sadly, the man did not love the witch. Over taken by grief and blinded by love the witch made a love potion and secretly got the man to drink it," With another nod I shuffle closer, "Now the witch knew that the love potion would not last forever so she needed to act quick. Thinking of a way that might make the man stay, she believed that bearing his child would save their love. However, once the potion wore off it outraged the man and he abandoned the witch, leaving her to rot with but herself and the child in her belly. Sickly and sad, the witch lived and did her best to save the child of the man she loved. The night the baby was born it rained, a sorrow looming over the tiny house. The witch died after giving birth, leaving the newborn baby crying. Coming to check on the witch the following morning, a woman came by. Hearing the cries of the child, the woman found them and was able to save the child."
"What happened to it? Did she adopt it?"
Mr. Potter's face fell, Mrs. Potter gripping his hand softly. I would not find out for a few years where Mr. Potter had obtained the information. For unbeknownst to me, they allowed him to see into the late Dumbledore's old memories. A telling of the Dark Lord's past that has been unexpected in the memories he was seeing. A forgotten string, a loose end, as though it was a breadcrumb that had dropped on the ground and was forgotten about.
"Unfortunately, no. You see, kids, they put the child into the care of an orphanage that was less than caring. Having no love, no care, no affection, the child grew up to be void of any feelings of warmth."
I've just been hoping that it wasn't completely true, I guess. I've no idea how long we have been staring at each other with the world having disappeared, but my thoughts seem to have cleaned themselves up a bit. For the only thing I can see, the only tell his eyes can give, is how quick the gears in his head are turning.
"(/N)-"
A silent shout seeps through the frozen bubble we had fallen into.
"(Y/N)?"
The voice calls out again. This time, I turn my head to face it, breaking my eye contact with Riddle.
"I said we should get going. You alright?"
Abraxas.
"Oh, yeah, sorry."
Having a clear head, I find myself able to bring a softer smile to my cheeks, a hint of pity I'm not so aware of glinting in my eye. With one last glance into Riddle's eyes, I wave and smile warmly at him and shout a last "goodbye!" and a "see you later, then!" before Abraxas practically pulls me out of the Hall.
A weight has lifted from my shoulders, although I can't quite corner what could have caused it to leave. Riddle is still upset, we left the students in the Hall with a heavy tension, and I still have to face Riddle later tonight. Tonight, huh? I think to myself with a heavy heart. Here's to hoping to not die, I guess.
Such an odd thing to have so much pressure on yourself, to have such an immense weight of responsibility over one man, yet to smile. To not have a piece of extra weight. What am I relieved about, though?
"Why would you agree to meet with him like that?" His disappointed voice croaks out, "The only difference later will be that we won't be worrying about professors or other students."
"About that," looking down towards the notes sprawled out along the table, the silence of the library echoing in my ears, "You shouldn't be there either."
"What?"
The frightening outburst of noise causes me and the few other people there to jump, my head snapping up to look at him. Noticing his volume, Abraxas whispers a hushed "sorry".
"One of the only reasons he got so upset was because you were speaking for me," I begin. "I promised that I would try to be his friend, really try, and what have I done so far?" Abraxas shrugs his shoulders a bit, shuffling in his seat. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I should have been hanging out with him, talking with him, yet here we were joking about him."
"They were just jokes-"
"Jokes that might have hurt if he had heard them," Pausing slightly, I let out a heavy puff of air. I know he would have most likely shrugged it off and not given it a second thought, but I need to make a point. "You wouldn't like it, would you? Thinking about it now is horribly upsetting. We should laugh with him, not at him."
Despite knowing that I'm half blowing steam out of my ass, I stick to my point. I mean, the moral of it is true, right? It's true, though, I feel bad for blowing Riddle off like I did. No matter how shitty, no matter how awful he is, no matter what he does, I can't do that to him. My entire reason for being here is to change what he does. To stop him from doing the same thing. If I'm just going to sit here and crack jokes and ignore him, then why did I abandon everybody in the first place?
Combing through my thoughts, I rise suddenly and swiftly from my seated position.
"Where are you going?"
Abraxas asks, standing up from his seat.
"I'm going back to the common room," I start, staring off towards a clock on the wall to my right, "it's getting late."
Looking back down to the table, I huff silently and swipe up all of my papers and books.
"We got some work done at least."
"Yeah," adds Abraxas, "something."
After we have all of our belongings gathered, we plod our way out of the library and down the long halls. The walk is quiet, neither of us speaking to each other until Abraxas utters to the door and we walk inside.
The room is empty, everybody probably inside of the sleeping quarters or out wandering the halls of Hogwarts somewhere. Silence filling the room till it feels as though I'm suffocating.
"Do you trust me?" I finally ask, voice crackling through the deafening silence. "Because if you do I need you to trust me now."
Abraxas turns to me and sighs to himself, eyebrows furrowed slightly.
"Fine."
He finally speaks up after a few moments.
"Thank you," I state before handing him my things, "then watch these while I go find Riddle."
"What? No, I'm coming with you!"
"I need to see him alone, please."
Sighing heavily as he stares back at me, he stops for a moment before grabbing the books and papers that I'm holding out.
"Trust, right."
"I know you don't like this, but when it comes down to it I owe him this much."
"Of course I don't like it," Abraxas begins, forcing a shaky smile onto his face, "so you better come back without a scratch."
"Yeah, yeah."
Chuckling softly, I utter a "thank you" before turning around and walking back outside the Slytherin common room.
Next up, Riddle.
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My computer is about to die so I'm hoping it won't before I can publish this lol. I wanted this chapter to be double it's length but figured that this was a better place for the chapter to end. Don't worry, I'm already working on the next chapter, it was going to be a part of this one, after all.
Thanks for the sweet message as well, @AvengerWarrior3000, for the little extra push to update. I'm really trying to find time for this story, I have the entire thing already planned out. I promise that I'll do my best to finish it, but if I can't before June/July, then I'll be posting all of my notes into a chapter so that you will all know exactly what is or was to happen. Hopefully, it won't come to that, some very dramatic and exciting scenes wouldn't be the same.
There's a lot to come and much more that I am SUPER excited to write about. I haven't seen any other stories do what I'm planning on doing so it should all be a big surprise!