𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝙿.𝙾.𝚅:
I sat there, on the couch, about to rip my hair out of my scalp.
"Yoora take it easy, you're overthinking again!"
Lexi said as she shook me from behind, "but its so weird! He'll start doubting me, and then loose trust in me and then he'll leave me and then I'll be all alone without anyone to cuddle or talk to or-"
"Yoora!!"
I let out a big fat sigh, there i again, proving my greatest talent. It couldn't be helped.
"Yoora, just introduce him to you brother, he's cool, no?"
"But Lexi!" I whined, "he wants to meet my parents! If you can even call them that, but i haven't talked to them in years!"
I was almost crying by now, it really os a dumb thing to whine about but,
My "family" Is as broken as one could get. I didn't grow up in a house with family funtime, or movie nights and stuff.
I grew up with broken beer bottles, trauma, tears, blood and everything a child should never face. What would he think of me if he meets my family?
The meer thought sent shivers, but what would i tell him? Ugh I hate this.
"Im going for a walk.." I told Lexi and stood up. She let out a worried sigh and nodded.
"Wear something warm, its cold out."
𝙾𝚞𝚝𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎:-
Ah.. Fresh air. Exactly what i needed to get my mind off of everything. The sound of my steps was the only thing heard in the dark, empty park.
Looking back, i probably looked creepy with a black on black fit, walking alone at this time of night but this was much needed
My mind raced as i thought about everything deeper and deeper, what would happen? How would he think of me? What if he looses trust in me? What if everything goes wrong
𝙔𝙤𝙤𝙧𝙖 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥.
I didn't even realised i had started running, i was out of breath.
✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*
make me run, make me run more. Let my feet be ripped apart by wounds. But atleast i can smile when i see you
*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿
.-run, BTS
I sigh again, and throw myself on a nearby bench. My hair was stuck on my forehead, as sweat tippled down my face.
Why am i over reacting? He'll understand, right?
I got my phone out, my finger hovered above Namjoon's contact. I just need to tell him something believable. My... Family- uh- lives Overseas! Yeah! Ill tell him that...
I opened his contact and typed out the message, would calling be better? Ugh yoora shut up!
I continued typing it out, my thumb went nack and forth the backspace button.
There. I just need to send it.
But i couldn't bring myself to. Something felt so wrong, what kind of person am i? Lying to him to escape reality? I really am arrogant.
I realised, i was only thinking about myself. I only thought about how his views would change on me. My mind was on me all along.
I was being selfish.
I felt stupid, and guilty. Is this how much i care about him? Is this who i am?
𝙽𝚘. 𝙸 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚠.
I opened the contact i needed, i hesitated, yes. But i did what was right.
I took a deep, shaky breath as i waited for the caller to pick up.
"Hello?"
"Hey hyung, its been a while, huh?
( y'all stay with me plz ;-;)