YOU'RE OVERTHINKING ALL OF THIS," Mason says to me while I threw another article of Klarise and that random guy I never even heard of's scandal across my private makeup room on the current film set. That article seemed to be everywhere, just her and Cameron, her and Hao Shan. I had ten minutes before I had to go back to film another scene.
"Do you really think I am?"
Mason picks up the article I had thrown and puts it neatly on top of my vanity. "Yes, you are. You've been in this fame business for a while now, you should know as well as anyone in the circle that this is for publicity."
I crossed my arms across my chest and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked painfully beautiful, hot tears in the corners of my eyes, urging to come out. "Is it really though?"
He doesn't answer me.
"What does Cameron have to say about this?"
I haven't heard from Cameron for a while, he went back to New York where his parents were to deal with all this crap that has happened. I was both happy and furious and heartbroken. Klarise wasn't getting married anymore. But at least when she was with Cameron I knew she didn't feel anything for him, at least that was easy to think when I knew Cameron was with Mason. But now this other guy, as I watched and rewatched—with pain and grudge—the footage of her kissing Hao Shan, I wanted to know what they were. Did she love him? Is she happy with him? Is he that much better than me?
Mason's eyes darted from both me and that article/magazine cover of Klarise and Hao Shan. "He hasn't really contacted me since he went back."
None of us mentioned or talked about it, but it seemed pretty clear that Cameron didn't tell his parents about him and Mason. And even more upsettingly apparent that he wasn't planning on telling them any time soon.
I took the magazine and looked at Klarise hard in the plastic paging face. Mason snatched it away from me before I could embarrassingly kiss her on the page, and this time, he threw it in the trash.
"Enough of all of this, staring at that garbage is going to soon tear both of our lungs out."
I groaned a sigh, my face in my hands. Then I took them off and looked at Mason, tears on the verge of coming out. "Do you think she loves him?"
He comes over to me and places his arms around my shoulders. "I think that you are so much better than her, and I think that everything that has happened has been for a reason. And I think that she's changed you."
I looked at him in the vanity mirror, he was wearing a striped shirt underneath a black blazer that Cameron had gotten him for his birthday; he's been wearing it ever since. About a few days ago, when it was my birthday, Mason made sure to sit both me and Cameron down in our home and make his homemade recipes. But throughout it all, I could barely eat as good as the food was. My head swirled with images of Klarise and that guy, and it was even more awful when I couldn't talk about it because Cameron was there.
Now, I look at both me and him, and suddenly I wasn't seeing someone famous with her also rising agent who was getting requests from other actresses and actors. All I saw was two awfully pathetic teens who think they're old enough to do it all, show it all. I wanted to cry more than ever, and it really made me wonder since when I've turned into such an emotional being. It wasn't me.
I sniffed in the emerging tears, sucking it all in. "Call time is in a few minutes, I should go."
As I stood up, checking my makeup, Mason was looking at me with this concerned look he always had. I think he worried too much about me, but I guess I can see why. I was a mess, maybe even more of a mess now.
I made myself smile at him before leaving the room, but everything just seemed so hard to fake in front of him. "There's probably just a lot of family stuff Cameron has to deal with, I'm sure it's just that. When he's all done, he'll call you."
At this, he slightly smiles. "I really do hope you're right."
FOUR YEARS CAN PASS by in a flash of an eye when you're buried in work. But while at that, the amount of the many things that occur during it does not lessen.
G.W.F. broke up in 2022 when both the Recording Industries or just Hollywood industries in general kept rejecting them. I heard both Kayla Huang and Phoebe Zhao went to college even as old as they already were. Bridget...she, well, I heard she also went back to school, but the rest of it was unclear. Mason mentioned that Mr. Wang had given Bridget a chance to go solo while still representing his company, but she denied the offer. I still had her contact information, but I couldn't bring myself to call or text her.
And also, Mr. Wang's company did not stop going even with G.W.F. broken up. But I wasn't so petty enough to care about him when I was already all over China myself, taking films after films, photoshoots after photoshoots. I wasn't that damsel in distress anymore that needed his saving. Or really anyone's saving, so what need did I have to care about him?
Ascending8—as I predicted—wasn't doing so well after the two years that Descending 99 had aired. And in 2023, producers were making some other reality show that had one hundred and one girls instead of ninety-nine competing with each other. Nathan Ma, who hadn't gotten much famous other than being known as the one I slapped a few years ago was one of the instructors on that show. He looked so pathetic. While another group of girls formed from that reality show to a C-Pop group, Ascending8's influence began to decline. But even though that happened, Klarise was hired to some other company where she was now a professional singer, going on concerts and recording albums and music videos. I listened to all of them.
(Laughs) Cameron and Mason were like two of the sweetest sweethearts, as busy as each of our schedules were, the three of us made sure we got to check in on each other almost everyday. Mason cooked when we got together, Cameron and I would discuss films we're considering to cast in or he would just tell me these random things to make me laugh, and then Mason would come over with fresh-made food, smiling at the sight of the three of us together.
I was famous, I was all over the screen, I had money, and I had what seemed to be a family, I had an enjoyable life. Things were peaceful, I'm not saying there weren't any hate on me, there definitely were, everyone prominent will have people who don't like them, if not, well, you're not really famous. And with the mindset of knowing I'll have the comfort of Mason and Cameron, knowing that I was living, that I was doing good, I managed to not think about Klarise. I stopped trying to email her, trying to talk to her, I simply made all of her-related things into the back of my head when I came to the realization that we were never happening. She was jumping from guy after guy it seemed, C-Pop stars, models, actors, or just guys who weren't even so famous at all. And in order not to see those, I had to simply forget about her. I had Cameron and Mason, my two best friends, yes, Cameron too. I had them, and I had my fame and money, I had my fans, I had the love of people who watched my films, I didn't need her to be happy. I didn't need love like that, or sexual pleasure from someone else when I could give it to myself. So at the time, I guess I was somewhat what you'd call happy.
I would have done anything for Cameron and Mason. And I would still.
Cameron was born to a very traditional and religious family. Meaning there was no way he was going to tell them about him and Mason, it wasn't so soon for that confrontation to happen when Cameron came to us, the guy who never cried—unless it was onscreen—in streaks of tears, well mostly to Mason, and telling him how sorry he was. It was also then that I realized I did not want his life. I don't really know what life I wanted yet, even though I had been finally famous. As much as I had, it just didn't feel for some reason, enough.
It was early 2025, and Cameron was five years older than both me and Mason, at the age of 28, his parents were getting suspicious of his love life. Other than some rumors of him with some girl he had paid some reporters to spread, his love life in the media was quiet. Too quiet that his parents were already readying to set him up for another arranged marriage.
We were in Cameron's large apartment, now not as fancy to my eyes anymore, and he was fidgeting with his thumbs, back and forth I counted as they rounded and rounded. Mason was fidgeting himself too. I sat on the nice sofa, watching them, a little in distress myself.
"I can get another reporter or something, make the rumors go even bigger this time." Cameron suggested. He had just told us about his parents, already bringing up suggestions of good marriage material girls they wanted him to marry.
"They're going to want visual proof." I said to him. And to Mason, knowing that he didn't like that fact. "But I'm pretty sure if you get some girl to bring back home with you, they're going to be a piece of hot glue to get off of your back."
Mason sat down next to Cameron, he seemed to have gained some wrinkles now that he was frowning so hard. "There must be some other way."
Cameron took in Mason's hands, a tired grin on his face. "Of course there is, and don't you forget that I'm an actor after all, Mase."
Mason manages to pull a smile up his own face. The two of them hold each other like it was the end of the world.
They've been hiding it so well, and I think that is because Mason wasn't exactly anyone famous in particular. But soon, I knew, someone was going to start noticing the same black car that parks in the parking lot near Cameron Li's apartment. Soon, someone will hack into the security camera and notice a guy coming in and out of Cameron Li's apartment everyday. Soon, everything will collapse.
I got up and poured myself a drink, some vodka. Mason had trusted me to drink now that I was more stable, and I was. I really was, until now that the sake of all of this might collapse. What would happen when Cameron is going to marry someone? Things would change, and I didn't want that.
Mason, even as he trusted me, shot me a look when I took a sip of my vodka. I raised the cup at him, half smiling. "Hey, I'm twenty-two, don't judge me."
"So what is that project you told me you've been thinking about?" Cameron then asked me, it was an obvious change of subject but I gladly took it.
"Technically I haven't been thinking about it, Mason is making me do it." I glanced at Mason and he rolled his eyes.
"The other projects aren't as good as that one, go ahead and choose one of those if you really want to."
I sat down on the sofa next to Cameron and watched the ice in my drink slowly melt, ignoring Mason. "It's some show called "当她遇到他" (When She Met Him). I think if I do cast in it, I might be busy for a while. It's a lot of episodes so things'll probably take up to a few months."
Cameron was nodding. "Hm, another classic love story probably. Mason, I do agree with Maeve that you should be getting her some more...original scripts."
Mason rolled his eyes again, and it seemed to roll all the way back behind his eyelids. "People all love themselves a good love story, you can't blame me for only being able to get Maeve these roles. Plus, those fans all like to ship her with a bunch of guys she's in films with, it's getting us the money and publicity we need."
"That's it!" I suddenly jumped up, scaring the both of them.
They looked at me, both unblinkingly and waiting. I let the silence hang on just enough to make them lean in like I was some fascinating creature in front of them, about to share my secret.
"Cameron, I know what we could do."
"We?" He looked from himself to Mason.
I nodded. "Yes, we. I can help."
"I think you'll need to elaborate more on that."
"Like Mason said, people all love themselves a good love story. And right now, we could use this show to...to switch things up that can benefit you, well, and me."
Cameron leans his elbows on his lap, his eyebrows creased. Next to him, Mason was looking at me warily. "Maeve, what are you up to?"
"I'm saying that Cameron should take the male lead in the show I'm going to do. I'm saying that Cameron should play opposite of me. I'm saying that we are going to create something people will love. I'm saying that I will 'fake-date' Cameron Li and by then his parents would stop trying to make him marry someone so you two can be together. I'm giving us the perfect plan."
Mason was the first to object. He abruptly went from one spot to another, and he was frowning like that might as well save the situation we were in. "No, I'm not going to let you do that."
Cameron paced next to him, trying to get his lover to sit down. "Mase, I think we should consider this."
Mason shot around, now frowning at Cameron, and then he looked at me. "You two are out of your minds." He walked around some more and then his gaze landed on me again, but this time it was soft. "I can't let you do this for me, Maeve. You know you're..."
He stopped himself before he finished and looked down to the floor. Cameron just looked at us.
Cameron didn't know who I was. Not really at least.
"Yes, I know what I am. So? I'm an actress, and I want to help my two best friends out."
Mason shook his head harder. "That's why I can't let you help me like this. You don't know how things will turn out."
"If Maeve is willing to do this, why not? It's better than all our other choices." Cameron gathered Mason's cheeks in his hands. "Please, Mase, think about it this way, we'll be together without anything interfering us. No one knows that me and Maeve, or even you, have any connections with each other."
I wanted to cry then, seeing them like that. It reminded me of just how lonely I really was. Why was I so willing to help them when the matter was I didn't have what they have? Was what I kept asking myself in those few moments.
After a few minutes of them just murmuring things to each other, Mason turned to look at me. His lips looked like they couldn't cooperate with what his brain was instructing it to say.
"OK." His hand was tight in Cameron's. "Let's do it then."
He and Cameron walked over to me, and both of their large built arms surrounded me like a cushioned wall. A sense of protection washed over me. But really, I was the wall, I was going to use myself to help them. There was this little voice inside my head that kept hissing, dumb, so dumb, can't believe you've grown so weak enough to make such a dumb choice. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb
I made myself smile. And when Mason looked at me over Cameron's shoulder, there was something in his eyes I didn't want to acknowledge. But there it was, and I could almost hear his voice, saying it out loud.
I don't want you to fake someone else anymore than you have to.
Because I hear those words in my own head every single day. But whoever I was or am, there was no more going back to it. That person was buried too deep to be brought up.