A/N: hey everyone! Just wanted to push out another quick update for you all !
Don't forget to follow my social media where I'll be giving update info, answering questions and having a little fun with spoilers and plot points
https://twitter.com/scarwattpad
@scarwattpad
Elena's Twitter account is now caught up to the baby honey storyline ! So now it's going to be used as her social media account ! Her updates will give you some insight into what will be in the next chapters, her thoughts and feelings, and she's open to interaction so go give it a follow for a bit of fun !!
https://twitter.com/elenarosegraham
@elenarosegraham
Love you all!
Stay safe and I hope you enjoy the update !!
"Charlie your mum says you eat porridge for breakfast everyday, you're having porridge" Harry tells the 3 year old sitting at the dining table beside me. She's completely refusing to eat it, and it's so adorable. She has this bossy feisty little attitude that I'm kind of obsessed with, but I think I've found some ways to keep her behaving.
"Don't want" Charlie says grumpily, folding her arms across her chest. Harry sighs and shakes his head in the kitchen, cleaning up from cooking with one hand while balancing a sleeping Theo in the other.
"Goodness, I hope Santa didn't hear that" I say under my breath before I take a sip of my apple juice.
"Santa?" Charlie squeals, looking up at me. I can see Harry smirking out of the corner of my eyes.
"Well you know how Santa is always watching us, all I'm saying is that I hope he didn't hear all that grumbling along with you not thanking uncle Harry for making your breakfast. Look, he put strawberries on top and everything. It looks delicious" I tell her in a quiet tone, gesturing to the bowl in front of her. Charlie stares at me for half a beat more before picking up the little spoon beside the bowl.
"Sowee unkie" Charlie calls out before taking a big mouthful of porridge.
"That's alright Charlie" Harry replies, I turn my head to look at him as he grins widely and mouths 'HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?' to me. I shrug my shoulders and grin, watching him as he lovingly and carefully readjusts his hold on Theo.
"It's yummy isn't it?" I ask her after she's taken multiple bites. Charlie's spoon pauses in mid air and she flashes a toothy grin up at me, nodding her head enthusiastically. I reach my hand in and pick up one of the small slices of strawberry and pop it into my mouth, causing her to squeal in delight before she picks up one of her own and starts to suck on it. I'm about to go for another when my phone on the table in front of me starts to wildly vibrate.
"Who da?" Charlie asks, recognising a ringing phone. I pick it up and check the caller I.D.
"It's my friend Heather!" I tell her with a smile before I answer the call. "Hello my friend" I greet her warmly. I can hear a soft sigh and the noise of traffic around her before she speaks.
"Hey babes, sorry I know you and Harry are babysitting but can I vent for like two minutes?" She asks, her voice singed with desperation. I look down at Charlie who's back to busying herself with the porridge and tuck some of her loose blonde curls behind her ear and out of the line of fire.
"Of course, go for it" I tell her.
"Okay so I have a sonogram today and I told Brad about it two weeks ago because he said that he felt bad about not being super present and so he promised me he would make it. Anyway the last few days I've been texting to remind him and sort out of we're going together or hanging out after and I've gotten no response. Literally nothing. He's fucking ghosted me. I'm the mother of his child and he's ghosting me? Like what the hell! I've done everything to get in touch with him; I've called, texted, emailed, I've done everything but march up to his front fucking door. He said he wanted to be here, why the fuck is he doing this?" Heather rants, barely taking a breath. Charlie shows me her half empty bowl and I give her a thumbs up before I reply to Heather.
"Wow that's a lot. What was your last interaction like? Did you guys have a fight or a disagreement?" I inquire. I know what Heather can be like when she's in a fight with someone, she burns the whole thing down to the ground without really even noticing it. It's possible she told Brad to never speak to her again and he's doing a good job at listening to her.
"It was nice actually. It was like a week ago and he was really nice, he was supportive and wanted to be more involved with the whole pregnancy side. We even went clothes shopping." Heather's tone has become light hearted.
"Clothes for you or the baby?" I ask. I don't know why it matters but I feel like it does.
"Both" She answers, I can almost hear the smile in her voice. She may be pregnant, but Heather will try to only wear designer if she has anything to do with it.
"Did you guys do it?" I switch my questioning, putting slight emphasis on the last word in the sentence. Harry, who has been dutifully ignoring the conversation so far, has suddenly lifted his head and appears to be completely invested. There's silence on the other end of the phone.
"Heather your silence is concerning" I say with a small smirk.
"Fine we did, but we didn't plan to. Besides it's not like we can make things much worse I'm already knocked up" She tells me with a regretful sigh.
"Except now he's ghosting you" I remind her.
"Shit you're right, think the two are related?" She asks quietly.
"I'm thinking so" I say as Charlie polished off her bowl of porridge. I pick up a nearby face cloth and gently wipe down her face, she's managed to get a fair amount of it to stick to her forehead
"But it shouldn't be like that!" Heather exclaims.
"I 100% agree with you, but what do you really expect from him the mans kind of really good at lying" I say, choosing my words carefully on account of the small ears in the room.
"I guess you're right. I just don't know where we go from here" She says with a sigh, the sound of traffic disappearing from her end of the call.
"Well do you have someone there with you for your appointment?" I ask. She shouldn't have to do that alone, I'm sure if I really hustled I could get dressed and get down there in time.
"My mums here so it's okay. We're actually going in to the appointment now so I'll call you later. Thanks hon, love you" She tells me. I'm not sure if I helped, but at least she got some of that anger out before she has her appointment.
"Love you babes, talk to you later" I say goodbye to her before I end the call and place my phone back on the table.
"She alright?" Harry asks as he helps Charlie climb down off of her seat, watching as she toddles over to the couch.
"Brad drama, shall we get ourselves ready for the day?" I ask him, standing up from my chair and smiling at Theo, who's eyes are barely open but the corner of his mouth pulls up at either end grinning back at me.
"Sure, and it's your turn" Harry grins widely and passes Theo to me, the second he's in my arms I smell it, how did Harry hold him for that long without doing something about it?
"I don't think it is my turn..." I start to say before Harry walks away. He laughs and pick up Charlie from the couch, who squeals in delight.
"Too late!" He calls back at he whisks Charlie up the stairs, Charlie's laugh bouncing off the walls and echoing throughout the apartment. Cheeky bastard.
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It takes a lot of time to get kids ready, I never even realised how much of a hassle it would be. The second we thought we were ready to walk out the door we suddenly remembered something we needed to do or grab. Eventually we do make it out the door and into the car, where John helps us attach the car seats and before we know it we're at the aquarium. Gemma said Charlie was going through a 'fish phase' where she loves watching movies or nature shows about the ocean, so I figured this might be something she'd enjoy. I was right.
"Lena look!!" Charlie calls out to me, even though I'm standing right beside her. Her little fingers excitedly pointing at a large stingray that's swimming by.
"Wow Charlie that's pretty cool" I tell her. Before Gemma left she gave me this wrap thing that ties around my shoulders and waist and holds Theo against my chest. It's super handy because now I have two hands again, but I'm terrified that I've attached it properly and that he'll all of a sudden just fall out the bottom of it.
"He's secure" Harry tells me quietly, putting a hand on my shoulder as the other one holds Charlie's. She's refused to let go of his hand since we got here, I think she's as scared of getting lost as we are of losing her. I nod my head and lean it on his shoulder, staring into the large tank in front of us.
"It seems like she's having fun" I gesture down to Charlie, who is open mouthed and gaping at all of the marine life passing by the glass in front of her.
"She really is. I should take some photos for Gem" Harry replies, taking his phone out of his pocket and leaving my side, taking a few of her before squatting down and telling her to smile at the camera. She's a very good model, releasing Harry's hand and putting one hand on her hip and grinning at the phone.
"Elena get in here" Harry tells me, before Charlie's hands wrap around one of mine and try to tug me closer to the glass. I go with a small giggle, squatting down beside Charlie and smiling towards Harry, trying to angle my body in a way that also gets Theo's sleeping little face in the picture.
"Look Lena!" Charlie is back to looking in the tank, pointing out a large cluster of fish that have just quickly swum by.
"Yes very cool Charlie" I tell her. I've found that most of looking after kids Charlie's age is just listening to them as they tell you or show you stuff. I could see the fish already, but Charlie wanted to make sure I realllyyyy saw them.
"Should we go to the next tank?" Harry leans down to ask Charlie, one of his hands on the stroller we brought with us. Charlie doesn't like sitting in it very much, but she's a lot heavier to carry than Theo is so if she does get tired it's good to have, plus it holds all of the stuff we brought with us.
"I like dis one" Charlie says with a small pout. Harry smiles at her and nods his head.
"There are different fish in the next one, and they all want to see you" Harry tells her with a small grin. We've both kind of figured out how to get Charlie to not be so stubborn, and for the most part it's working. Charlie walks calmly over to Harry and reaches her hand up to him. He takes it and pushes the stroller in the other hand, leading us both through a tunnel and into the next room.
Theo starts to wake up as we venture further into the aquarium, and not wanting him to miss out I lift him out of his carrier and hold him on my hip, pointing around at the fish in the tanks. I know he's barely four months old and he won't remember any of it but I will, and I like to think that he's having a good time with the colours and the movement of it all.
I work hard to focus my attention here, not to think about the projects or essays I could be working on or study I feel that I should be doing. I'm here with my love and these two amazing little kids, we're exploring and having fun, everything will be alright. It's these moments of serene peace that get me through whatever else is going on. And there are a thousand things I could be worried about right now; my mum and what life will be like for her out of the facility, when I'll next have a panic attack, Heather and her baby, my school projects. But I look up ahead and see Harry lifting Charlie up so that she can see a shark swimming past her at eye level, and watch him laugh as she squeals with delight when it turns it's head towards her, and I feel at peace.
"Well look who decided to wake up" Harry says to Theo with a wide grin, brushing his finger over Theo's cheek as he rests his head on my shoulder. "Finally buying the family pass is worth it" He adds cheekily before we move forward into the next area.
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A soft sound from the alarm I set on my phone wakes me up from a dead sleep. I lean over to quickly shut it off so that it doesn't wake up Harry and crawl out of bed to the kitchen downstairs. It's time for Theo's 3am feed, poor Gemma's brain must be fried from having to do this every night for god knows how long. How long does this phase even last?
Luckily, Gemma's given me precise instructions on how the bottle warmer works and exactly how much milk he needs. I can hear Harry chuckle every-time I've taken out the notes this weekend, but I've also seen him like over my shoulder to read them himself from time to time. He can be such a stereotypical man sometimes, refusing to read the instructions before assembling the flat pack furniture or insisting on not asking for directions when he's clearly lost. I have to admit I do find it kind of charming, and I know that he appreciates how seriously I've been taking this whole thing.
Bottle of warm milk in hand, I quietly creep back up the stairs and before reaching Theo's room, I tuck my head in and check on Charlie. So far she's stayed in her own bed tonight and she's fast asleep, I presume it's because she had such an exhaustive day. When we got back from the aquarium, we had a bit of lunch and then Charlie and I did some painting. We lay out sheets on the wooden floors and Harry gave us old shirts of his to wear as aprons. Between us, Charlie and I made quite a bit of art. We each painted a picture of Harry as he sat and watched a football match between telling us we 'made better doors than windows' when our heads moved in the way of the screen. Next we painted a picture of one another, mine really was just a lot of vibrant colours splashed together but I do appreciate that this was her artistic direction. And finally we painted something we loved; Charlie painted some animals; a fish, a puppy, a unicorn and a butterfly. While I spent a bit more time on mine and painted my mum the last time I went to Highcliffe, sat in an armchair in the sun with a basket of knitting beside her.
Moving further down the hallway into Theo's room, I find that he's already awake, silently amusing himself as though he's patiently awaiting my arrival. Suddenly I feel like a waitress again, as I apologise for the wait and lift him up and out of the folding travel cot Gemma and Michael brought and settle in a chair beside the bed and start to feed him.
For some reason I wish the chair was a rocking chair, only because most of the images I've seen of women feeding babies in movies or TV they all seem to rock back and forth while they do it. I guess it's to pass the time, and I especially regret not bringing my phone with me as Theo is kind of a slow eater and we have a whole bottle to go.
"There you are" I look up to see a disheveled and sleepy looking Harry, leaning against the door frame in a pair of sweatpants, his hair ruffled and askew.
"Nightly feed" I reply quietly as Theo drinks from the bottle absentmindedly. Harry nods his head and rubs his eye slightly.
"You should've woken me I would have done it" He says with a soft yawn. As if I could wake him, he looks so peaceful and serene when he's asleep. I shrug my shoulders.
"It's no problem, doesn't take too long" I reply, trying to make him feel better about me doing it. All up it probably takes around 45 minutes to feed him and then get him settled again, and I know that because that's about how long it took last night when I got up to do it.
"Well I woke up and you weren't there, for a second I was worried you'd gone on another nightly walk without telling me" He says quietly as he walks into the bedroom and sits down on the edge of the bed opposite me. He was really concerned when I tried to go for a walk in the middle of a panic attack. I can now see with hindsight how stupid that idea really was, and I'm grateful that he didn't let me go out there alone.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd wake up. And I wouldn't do that again" I say gently, tipping my head slightly to the side as he nods his head, keeping a close eye on the floor. This whole panic attack thing is new to both of us, but hopefully I'll be able to get a hold of it somehow and we will both be able to relax.
"Good" He says with a nod, before a look of awe and wonder suddenly washes over his face as he stares at Theo cradled up in my arms.
"What?" I ask him with a small smile.
"Just a nice sight" He says with a sheepish grin.
"Me with a baby?" I say, to which he gives me a small nod and a slight shrug. "Is it making your ovaries hurt? Does your womb feel empty?" I ask jokingly. He lets out a slight and quiet chuckle before rubbing his nose slightly.
"All I'm saying is that it's a nice sight" He says, a small smirk directed at me now pulling at his lips. It has been a weirdly nice dynamic this weekend, us solely in charge of these two young kids. It's hard not to think about what it would be like if they were our kids, what our kids would be like, could it really be this wonderful?
"Don't get any ideas Styles" I say with a grin. It may have been a nice weekend, but I'm not yet 21 and I still have a lot I want to do and see before I do that whole motherhood thing.
"Oh I'm not, we're not quite there yet. All I'm saying is that when we do eventually get there, you're going to be pretty amazing at it" He tells me adoringly, leaning forward slightly and rubbing his thumb over Theo's small hand. It's these kind of moments, these quiet moments of loving words and meaningful comments that make me feel so loved. It's never been about the grand gestures or endless gifts, it's about the acknowledgement of love and care that we have for one another that means the most.
"You will too" I tell him with a grin, the slightly darkened room aiding in shielding my blushing cheeks. I swear I can see a bit of colour rise on Harry's cheeks too, he must be able to see that he's been amazing with the kids this weekend, he's always so great with them. He's firm but fair, he knows how to say no, and he knows how to have fun with them. And the best part, he actually wants to get involved with them, sure he needs a little bit of prompting sometimes but after that he's incredibly focused and hands on. I have to say it's kind of comforting that we've done so well, if this weekend had ended in disaster it would have given me serious doubts about our capabilities.
"You know you don't have to stay up with me you can go back to sleep" I say with a small giggle.
"Thank god I'm exhausted" He replies as he stands to his feet, walking over to the seat that I'm in and leaning down to give me a soft kiss on the forehead. "Love you"
"Love you too" I reply as he turns back towards the door and heads back down the hallway, leaving Theo and I to finish the bottle.
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Regrettably the weekend with the kids ends, and it's back to the usual mundane routine of endless lectures and long nights of study. Harry has been incredible throughout, always making sure I don't spend too long agonising over papers or staying up too late working on assignments. I haven't had anymore panic attacks and I'm feeling more in control this week than I did last week.
I arrive at our regular spot on one of the picnic tables outside of the library for this weeks team meeting. We agreed that while meeting in the library was good, we would be able to talk louder and more productively outside and at the same time soak up as much sunshine as we could until the summertime was truly over. Gina, Matt and Jess were already sitting down and getting set up.
"Toby text me, he's a few minutes late" Gina informs me as I reach the table and greet everyone with a quiet hello. Matt moves his backpack off of the bench beside him and I slide into the seat and start to take out my laptop.
"Did anybody understand anything that Professor Greenly was saying in that last lecture?" Matt asks as I lay take out my work book and open my laptop.
"Only because I read the course resources" I tell him with a small shrug. They always recommend you do the readings before you go to the class or you will definitely be lost, not sure why he's not figuring that out.
"Well I could barely keep awake" He says with a small laugh. Jess, who's been notably quiet since I sat down has suddenly sat up straighter and leaned slightly forward.
"Before we get stuck into anything, Elena you have to tell us everything about that guy who picked you up the other day!" Jess says excitedly, blinking up at me. Her tone kind of confuses me, as does her statement. I barely know her, why does she need to know everything about my boyfriend?
"That was Harry, my boyfriend" I say with a shrug and take a drink out of my water bottle.
"Well he's a little more than that right? He's like one of the richest men in the United Kingdom!" Jess blurts out happily. Gina raises an eyebrow at her before turning to me.
"For real?" She asks. I sigh a little and nod. It's a simple fact that could be googled, can't exactly lie.
"Yeah, he owns the Arcadia Hotels" I reply nonchalantly, begging for Toby to turn up and end this conversation exactly where it is.
"Wow, how did he get that gig?" Matt asks, suddenly semi interested in this conversation.
"What do you mean? He started them" I respond.
"How did you even meet someone like that? Surely not through Tinder" Jess laughs at her own joke. She's angling for something, trying to make me look bad maybe?
"We met at his hotel actually. I went in and got a drink at the bar, he approached me, the rest is history" I rehearse the line I've been committing to memory since the day I met him. I do wish it was actually how we met, but technically it's partly true. We met at the bar in his hotel, I did have a drink there, and the rest certainly is history.
"That's really cool" Gina says with an approving smile before turning to a page in the text book she seems to have bookmarked.
"But isn't he like a lot older than you?" Jess asks, her eyes squinting slightly in the sunlight.
"Why does it matter?" I ask instead of answering her question. Again, it's a fact that can be googled. I'm now a semi-known person in the public world of the London social scene. Reported somehow figured out my full name, my age and where I go to school, I'm just glad they haven't dug too deep into my family, though I know someday that will probably change. She seems taken aback by my answer.
"I'm just saying, an age gap like that must be difficult" She says with a coy shrug. I'm not having any of this bullshit.
"No you asked if he was older you didn't say anything about how difficult an age gap would be" I correct her. "Why do you care?" I ask again. She seems thrown off, her face paling slightly. Matt and Gina are watching us like a tennis match across the table, watching as we hit words back and forth between us.
"I'm just pointing out that your lifestyle now is certainly not one of a university student. I mean most of your clothes are designer, you go to galas in fancy dresses and have all the latest devices" She gestures to the objects in front of me and the clothes on my body. I'm beginning to get angry now, but I press it down deep into my stomach.
"And your point is what exactly?" I ask as calmly as I can. She takes a small breath before responding.
"Do you have a job? Or does he pay for your new fancy lifestyle?" She asks with a small smirk on her lips. Whatever answer I give her I'm just proving her point, even with a job there's no way I could afford any of what I have with it.
"I don't really see how that's any of your business" I respond instead, raising an eyebrow at her. The smirk that grows on her face really bothers me, like somehow we were playing a game and she's just won.
"I guess it's not my business, just trying to get to know you better" She replies with a cunning smile that could be mistaken for sincerity had I been deaf.
"We don't need to do that, we just need to be able to work together. And I'm fine to do that unless you have any further comments on my personal life that you'd like to get off your chest?" I reply, mirroring her smile back to her and putting on my most fake polite voice I have.
"No I'm done" She says with a shrug and reaches forward for her water bottle.
"Yes you are" I respond quietly. A few moments later, a panting Toby finally approaches the table.
"Sorry gang! Parking was a nightmare, had to circle about eight times to find a spot. Did you start already?" He announced as he settles in beside Jess, seemingly oblivious to the hanging tension around the table. I'm sure someone will enlighten him when we finish up.
The anger that I've repressed about her words and accusations bubbles inside of me for the rest of the day. Like who the hell just says shit like that in front of other people, or at all? I'm so mad that I barely even register the staff greeting me as I enter the foyer of the hotel. I'm glad I didn't drive and insisted on taking the bus, I don't know if I could have been trusted behind the wheel of a car with the anger that I'm feeling right now.
The elevator doors finally open and I shrug the bag off my shoulders, walk with determination into the kitchen where I can hear noise.
"You will not believe what this bitch said to me today!" I exclaim as soon as I enter the kitchen, looking up to see a bewildered Harry in the middle of dicing some onions. I suddenly remember that I don't live with Heather anymore and that I don't really ever rant in front of Harry.
"Sorry, I forget I don't live with Heather anymore and that that's not how I'm supposed to enter a room. Hi" I say after taking a deep breath. Harry chuckles and shakes his head, abandoning the chopping board and wiping his hands on a dish towel. He lifts up both of his hands to brush my errant hair behind my ears and press and soft kiss against my forehead. My anger begins to slowly dissipate, that bitch knows nothing about what this man has done for my life.
"No I like it, tell me what this bitch said to you, I'll get you a wine" He answers with a soft smirk, turning to reach up into one of the top cabinets and take out a wine glass.
"Okay so that girl Jess that you met the other day, she was making all kinds of comments about our relationship today" I begin to tell him the story as I pull myself up to sit on the kitchen counter beside his chopping board.
"She made a massive deal about it in front of everyone it was completely insane. I felt like I was in some sort of fucking parallel universe where we all just throw common curtesy and human decency out the bloody window" I continue before he pours me a glass of red wine and hands it to me, leaning against the counter right beside me.
"Made a massive deal how?" He asks, his eyebrows knitting together with concern, still trying to gauge what sort of reaction he should be having.
"Just making comments about how you're so much older and so much richer than I am. She openly asked me if you paid for my 'new lifestyle' " I grumble as I take a large sip of the wine. I suppose I can't be so outwardly mad about that, it's the truth, but our relationship isn't contingent on that fact like she implied it was.
"How did everyone else react?" He asks, probably perplexed about how to react to the last half. I know neither of us are technically 'proud' of how we met but if I had to do it over I'd do it again.
"They just sat there, no-one knew what to say or do. I'm sure she said what they were all thinking" I reply angrily. They all probably were just too polite to straight up ask, but perhaps they've talked about it before behind my back. Is this what I'm going to be subjected to now?
"Aren't you all pretty much strangers?" Harry asks.
"Basically! Which is why it was so weird. I'm pretty sure she just did it to make me look bad in front of Matt" I say before I take another sip of wine. Harry's knife stops mid chop.
"Why would that matter?" He asks, turning his head to look up at me.
"It's clear that she likes him, and I don't think he cares for her that much" I say with a shrug.
"So you think she said all of that to get him to look at her and not at you?" Harry's asks, reaching for his beer.
"Yeah I guess. I can't think of another reason why she would want to diminish me like that in front of everyone" I tell him after I take another sip of wine.
"So is he looking at you like that?" Harry completely abandons the chopping board in front of him, turning his body to completely engage me in conversation.
"What?" I ask slightly perplexed.
"Matt the Twat, is he showing an interest in you?" He throws in some kind of nickname that makes me openly laugh. Of course Harry would do that, any guy that shows up in my life is automatically some kind of asshole or twat.
"You gave him a nickname?" I ask with a small giggle. He doesn't seem to think it's funny, not reacting when I brush my fingers slightly through his hair.
"When the shoe fits. Now answer my question" He states firmly. I get the feeling like he's getting angry with me, like Matt has been flirting with me and I've just been allowing it to happen.
"Baby come on" I tell him, placing a hand on his shoulder and giving it a gentle rub. "If he were flirting with me I would have shut it down. I'm just saying that it's obvious to everyone in the group, including Jess, that Matt isn't as into her as she is into him. She might see me as competition. That's all" I slide my hand up and into his hair again, watching as his eyes slowly close as I play with the curls.
"I don't want to deal with another Luke or Ryan" He says with a slight huff.
"And we're not. You don't have a thing to worry about." I tell him, leaning forward to press a small peck to his lips. I can sometimes forget how jealous he can be, and completely without reason. I came in here angry about what Jess had said, and at the mere mention of a mans name he drove us completely off course with our conversation.
"Good. Sorry. Now what did you do about this whole thing?" He says quietly, placing a hand on my thigh.
"I defended myself obviously, and our relationship, by telling her that our relationship isn't any of her business" I tell him as he gives my thigh a brief but gentle squeeze.
"Sounds like it's going to be pretty awkward to work with her now" Harry mutters as he returns to the stove, using a long wooden spoon to stir the contents of it. Every second since I first entered the room to find him here making me dinner, my anger has begun to fall away and a feeling of serenity and comfort has slowly started to replace it.
"She should feel awkward, I'm not going to. I couldn't care less about what she thinks of our relationship, if she has a problem and wants to keep harping on about it then good luck to her because she's not going to break me" I reply sternly, picking up my wine glass once more. Harry turns back to me with a wide grin on his lips.
"That's my girl" He says proudly. I bite my bottom lip softly and tilt my head to the side.
"You like when I throw the hammer down?" I ask with a small smirk, reaching my hand out to him. He abandons the stove and walks over to me, standing in between my legs and placing his hands on my hips.
"You know I do" He replies with a smouldering smirk that stirs me up inside. I press my lips against his, sliding my hands up into his hair. My lips part, and his tongue flickers against mine as one of his hands cups my bum, drawing me flush against his chest. I know where this is leading, and I'm worried about a fire hazard.
"You're cooking" I mumble against his lips as his other hand softly squeezes my hip. Abruptly his lips slip from mine and he walks over to the other bench and switches off the stovetop and the oven before quickly returning to me, trailing rough kisses down my neck.
"We'll eat later" He replies gruffly into my neck as his arms wrap around my waist and lift me up off the counter. It takes me by surprise, and I laugh as I wrap my legs around his torso and my arms around his neck, tilting my head to the side to give him better access to my neck.
I'm laid out on the couch a few seconds later before I feel Harry's hands push up my stomach and against my chest, removing my shirt. I sit up slightly and help completely remove the material as Harry stands and unbuckles his jeans, quickly pushing them down to the ground before whipping off his own shirt.
"Feeling a little needy?" I smirk as I lift myself slightly off the couch and slip my skirt down my legs before Harry climbs back on top of me, reattaching his lips to my neck.
"I'm always fucking needy for you" He replies as I slide my hands into his hair. I know he's probably going to leave hickeys all up the side of my neck, and I may have been mad about that before but now I understand it. He wants to mark me, claim me as his own, show the world and whatever nosy people try to get in between us that we belong to each other. That's why he likes how I scratch my nails down his back, I leave my mark on him in the same kind of way.
"I am too" I say breathlessly as Harry begins to rock his hips against mine, the only barrier between us being our underwear.
"When do you get needy for me baby?" He says in a sort of demanding way before his lips travel down across my chest. I lock my ankles around his legs and apply a slight bit of pressure to bring his body closer against mine.
"Sometimes when I'm in class my mind wanders, and it always goes to you" I quietly admit with a small moan as he pushes the cup of my bra down and runs his tongue along my nipple.
"And where does your mind take you?" His voice is low and sultry, and I become more desperate for him by the second as his hips begin to roll torturously slowly.
"Us in one of the bathroom of the university, or behind a stack of books in the library" I admit with a wild blush. Harry's eyes finally lift up to mine, and I can see the twinkle in his eyes again.
"I'm impressed, if I had known this when I showed up the other day..." His words trail off as my arms reach up behind my back and unclasp my bra, tossing it to the other side of the room.
"You would have?" I ask him with pure delight, no one wants to feel unsupported in their sexual desires.
"Fuck yes, might have to plan another visit" He replies before his fingers abruptly push past the lining of my underwear and rub my clit roughly with two fingers.
"Tomorrow too soon?" I moan out my answer, feeling myself getting carried away with his hand and his mouth as he continues to pepper kisses across my chest and stomach.
"Your wish is my command bub" He states, his lips trailing back up my body, taking my lower earlobe in between his teeth and tugging it gently. I slide my hand down in between us and cup him through his boxers, feeling how his hard length is being restricted by the fabric of his boxers.
"What makes you needy for me?" I ask as I attempt a slightly sultry voice. Couple with the movements of my hand it seems to work, as Harry lets out a throaty groan.
"All the fucking time, doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing. When you play with my hair, when you play with yours, when you laugh, when you get dressed, when you look at me. I'm constantly in a state of needing you" He tells me with a moan as I hastily push his boxers down his hips, unable to resist the teasing any longer. His lips crash against mine as he pushes my underwear to the side, roughly pressing himself quickly into me. It's hard and fast and rough, and I fucking love it.
"Oh god" I let out a moan against his lips as he slides himself all the way in, wrapping my legs around his waist and anchoring myself against him. He sets up a hard and fast rhythm, pulling himself almost all the way out before quickly pushing completely back into me.
"Fuck you feel so good, you always feel so good" He groans against my lips as I take his bottom lip between my teeth and tug at it.
"And I'm all yours" I moan sweetly as I rake my nails up his back in response to his increased rhythm. The pleasure already begins to quickly build, pushing all thoughts of the rest of the world far far away.
"You're all mine, and I'm all yours" He responds with a low groan, his hand beginning to roughly rub the spot just above where our two bodies connect. His words swim around my head and provide their own kind of euphoria, this love of mine proclaiming that he is mine just as much as I am his, what in this world could possibly be better?
"Fuck Harry I'm so close" I moan out loudly, tipping my chin up to the ceiling and closing my eyes, surrendering myself almost completely to the feeling of it all. The heat of his skin against mine, the building sensation, the remnants of his lips across my neck and chest, his fingers rubbing the most sensitive point.
"Open your eyes, cum for me" Harry's voice demands close to my face. I open my eyes to watch Harry above me, his eyes burning into mine becomes my undoing , as I reach my peak and explode completely around him. My grip around his waist and neck tighten significantly as though I'm afraid of falling through the floor. Our lips clash together once more and before long, Harry stills within me and reaches his own point of euphoria, cursing and calling out my name before he collapses down onto my chest.
We lay there for some time, my hand brushing through his now slightly damp curls as we both wait to regain our breath.
"Feeling better?" Harry asks after a minute, lifting his head up to show me his smouldering smirk.
"Much better" I confirm, pressing a kiss to his lips once more, far more delicate than what we've just done but just as equally butterfly inducing.
———————————————————————-
"How're you feeling about all of this?" Harry asks as we finally get onto the motorway. Having taken the day off of work and me not having any classes today, Harry and I are currently driving up to Highcliffe for the night.
Our first stop is straight to pick up mum and take her to see some open homes for her to move into after she's released in a few weeks. The facility is letting us take her out for a few hours so we will presumably also get some lunch and then we'll have to take her back. From there I have a few spots in mind to take Harry out to see before a dinner at a small pub that my mum used to work at part time.
"I'm feeling a lot; excitement, nervousness, a lot of different emotions" I reply honestly as I slouch back into the passenger seat. One of Harry's hands rests on my thigh and I hold onto it with both of mine, tracing my fingertips around the curve of his rings really calms me down, reminds me I'm not alone.
"Are you going to mention to her about your medication?" He asks quietly, his head flickering between watching my reaction and the road ahead of us.
"I honestly don't know. I don't want her to think that it's something that she's done so that then she feels horrible and ruins what should be a wonderful day for her. But at the same time I know she'll ask about how my therapy is going and if I don't tell her that my therapist has given me medication then I'm lying to her." I reply quickly and with a heavy sigh. I'm caught between a rock and a hard place, there doesn't seem to be any sort of conclusion where everything works out fine. But I have to remember what Dr Lawrence said, I can't control how people act or feel.
"Do you think I should tell her?" I ask him after he doesn't respond. I turn my head to watch him as he bites his lip, one of his finger tips drumming against the steering wheel.
"I think maybe she could be a good source for you. You said you're conflicted about how you feel being given the medication, maybe some input from your mum would help you with all of that. But it's completely up to you, whatever you want to do you know I'm with you" He replies simply. He is right, I know mum has been on some kind of anti-anxiety medication in combination with some other things that help with her condition so maybe she could make me feel better about being prescribed it. But what if it goes the other way and she's upset that I have it and doesn't want me to take it, would that affect the way I feel about it?
"That was quite a diplomatic answer" I say with a small smile. Giving me some advice while also standing firmly by my side, once upon a time he would have been a good politician.
"It's the truth, I'm always behind you" He replies with a slight chuckle in his voice.
"Are you nervous?" I ask him, changing subjects ever so slightly. His forehead creases slightly at my question.
"What would I be nervous about?" He asks.
"You've never been to the facility before, or spent a lengthy extended time with my mum before" I tell him. It's not exactly his fault. I should have taken him up to see my mum long ago.
"That's not exactly true, I did sit with her for some one on one time at your birthday last year" He answers.
"Group setting" I smile over at him. "It's okay to be a little apprehensive on your first visit to a mental health facility" I assure him, rubbing the back of his hand. I remember vividly the first time I went to see my mum, it's not a time that I enjoy reflecting on.
"I suppose I have never been in that kind of environment before." He admits with a small shrug.
"And you have certainly dressed to impress" I say with a grin as I play with the sleeve of his bright yellow jumper. This comes after a conversation my mum had with Harry on the phone a few days ago, about how she never sees Harry wearing any colour. Harry took this as a funny but formal challenge, and went out to buy the brightest coloured sweater he could find.
"Your mother wanted colour, she's getting colour" He replies with a grin, looking down at his sweater. Even I've had to adjust my outfit for the day. Harry got a little carried away with all the hickeys he gave me the other night, so I had to ensure that I wore a turtle neck to travel up to see mum. The last thing I think my mum should see is my neck covered in bites and bruises, even if I personally am somewhat found of them. And if my tattoo wasn't enough, I also found a small necklace with an 'H' to layer around my neck, just because it makes me smile.
"And how do you feel in such bright clothing?" I ask cheekily. I have to say that I love it when Harry wears something I wouldn't normally see him in. I love his suits but seeing him in bright colours or shorts just makes me giddy for some reason. One day I'll talk him around to letting me paint his nails, he has such perfect nail beds for it.
"I don't hate it, but I do miss being invisible" He answers with a faux pout.
"You've never been invisible, have you seen your beautiful face?" I ask as I lift my hand up and poke my finger into his dimple, he laughs and leans his head away slightly.
"I am an attractive man I can't deny that" He says, giving my thigh a soft squeeze.