January 6th; 2024
4 Days Later
Olivia Swift's Point of View
Dear diary,
I guess it's my wedding day. I feel like this is something I should record in my diary because it's supposedly the biggest day of my life. I don't have cold feet, I'm not second guessing, I'm just scared. I was so overtaken by the fact I needed to plan for the wedding that I somehow forgot I'm getting married. Now that it's all real and coming together, I'm terrified as hell. I want to walk in there with excitement and know what I'm doing is right but maybe I'm second guessing. Okay maybe I am getting cold feet. Maybe if my mom was here I would feel better about this.
It's my wedding day, I get to marry Lucas. The Lucas Boy. He's amazing, god he's amazing. I'm gonna be fine, I don't need my mother. She hasn't been here for years and I've survived. I know I can do this.
Sincerely,
Olivia Swift
I place my journal in the bag I brought with me and set it all aside. Juliet has a cute pink dress and a pink bow on the top of her head. She been having a hard time actually keeping it on her head because she likes to play with it. She's my bridesmaid and my flower girl because I didn't have one. Benjamin wanted to be in the wedding too so he's the ring bearer. I got my entire family in the wedding except my mom. I look in the mirror and everything it perfect, my hair, my makeup, my dress, it's all perfect. The ceremony should be starting any second so I stand up and walk over to my dad.
"You look beautiful sweetheart." He runs his hand down my cheek softly. He stands in a nice tux and a golden necktie.
"I really thought Mom would come. I can't-I can't believe she's not coming." My voice breaks and some tears leak from my eyes.
"I know. I really hoped she would come. I really thought she would come. You got the rest of us though." The organ music begins to play and I sigh while my head is looking down.
"I think it's time to go, Liv." My dad tells me.
"Okay." I nod my head and look at my dress one last time. I hear the door open which draws my dad and I's attention.
"Mom." I say it for the first time in forever. I haven't called her that in for what seems like a lifetime. She stands there in a long navy dress and looks at me with a small grin. I walk up to her immediately and hug her.
"Sorry for being late...I have something for you though." She opens her small hand held purse and pulls out a necklace. She walks behind me and clips it around my neck.
"Your great-grandmother gave this to your grandmother when she got married. My mother always wanted to give it to me when I got married; My dad gave me the necklace since my mother had passed...now I'm giving it to you. Now you have your something blue, something old, and something borrowed." She tells me while slightly crying.
"Thank you."
"And for your something new, that is your baby. I might not supportive this, well, I hate this...but If somethings going to be over my dead body, it'll be me missing your wedding day. I wouldn't miss this day for the world." Her eyes are swelling up and I can tell she's holding back her tears. I kiss her on the cheek and take a couple steps back.
"Okay, now you're ready." She tells me and gives in and begins to cry. I finally feel complete. I'm ready to get married. My dad wraps his arm around mine and we begin to walk down the aisle. Juliet is in front of me, tossing flower petals. I see Lucas on the end, smiling. My mom quickly sits down in a chair in the back. She came. I wanted her to come so badly and she did. I don't know exactly why I wanted her to show up, but she did. I finish walking and stand in front of Lucas. My dad takes my veil and pushes it over my head. Both Lucas and I face the officiate as he begins to speak.
"Have each of you come here today and to declare your love for each other by becoming husband and wife?"
"Yes." Lucas and I say.
"And who gives permission for this woman to be wedded to this man?" The officiant asks. I look at my dad who is looking into the crowd of people. I can tell he's only looking at my mother though.
"Her mother and I do." He then walks down and sits next to my mom. He included Taylor, she's finally giving a form of permission.
The rest of the ceremony seems to go by in a flash. I think I spent more time trying to remember and savor the moment, then actually enjoying it and living in it.
"If anyone has any just cause for why these two shouldn't be together, speak now or forever hold your peace." My first reaction is to look over at Taylor. Maybe she only came here to stop the wedding. She bites down on her lower lip and nods softly. She knows what I'm thinking and she's letting go. She's giving me away.
No one says anything. I imagine there's people who wanted to but no one did.
"You may then kiss the bride."
Lucas places his right hand on my cheek and kisses me softly in front of everyone. It's all electrifying and sweet. I get to be with the one I love for the rest of my life.
• • •
Lucas and I stand up and he wraps his arms around me. We begin to have our first dance as a married couple. I always pictured this day and I always wanted to know what song I would dance to but I knew very quickly what song I wanted to dance to after I met Lucas.
It's a little bit funny, this feelin' inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money, but boy, if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live
If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelin' show
Oh, I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well, a few of the verses, well, they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on
So excuse me forgettin', but these things I do
You see, I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
I know it seems a bit cheesy but Lucas played it for me on the piano. It was the first time he ever played for me and I know he loves rock and roll. We dance together for quite some time as I find all of today slightly stressful and he's my rock. Someone who can hold me and everything else fades away.
"Hey, someone wants to see you I think." Lucas let's go of me and I turn around. She stands there biting her nails. I face her as she looks at me slightly.
"I know things haven't been easy recently with all this wedding and baby stuff. You're trying your best. Thank you for coming mom." I slightly confess this. I know she's been trying. She says nothing and just hugs me.
"I love you so much." Her arms are wrapped around me tightly as she seems to squeeze me to death.
"Hey, be careful. Don't wanna hurt the baby." I say with a giggle.
"I'm gonna sit down. I'm not feeling too well but congrats honey." I'm not sure if that was an excuse or the truth. When she leaves though, my dad walks up to me.
"May I have this dance?" He asks.
"Of course." I smile and look at Lucas.
"I'm gonna go sit down. I'll wait for you." Lucas says. I smile and my dad puts his hand on my shoulder.
"You ready?"
"Yep." I respond. I dance back and forth with him with a large grin on my face.
"Dad, will Mom ever fully support me?" I ask.
"She'll come around. She loves you too much to be angry forever. Believe it or not, deep down she's an amazing person. Emotions will just cloud her judgement."
"I don't know how you've stayed married to her for so long."
"Because even if we don't show it much, we love each other. We could live without one another but it's the last thing we want to do."
"That's so cheesy."
"You know a while ago she used to be such a selfish, complaining, annoying, bitch but she changed for the better. Then she kinda became a bitch again...but I know she can change, I've seen it with my own eyes. That's what's important."
"One more question."
"What is it?"
"Is she actually sick? I'm beginning to think she uses it as an excuse to get out of things and avoid conversation."
"Two days ago she woke up in the middle of the night, coughing. I heard her go to the bathroom so I wouldn't have to hear it. I heard her though, she thought I was asleep and she sounded miserable. You don't fake cough at 3 in the morning."
"What's wrong with her then?"
"I don't know. I asked her about it and she just deflected. She didn't want to get into it and I'm not sure why."
"Does it worry you?"
"I'm a father of three kids and I'm married to your mother. Every day I'm worried about something."
I laugh slightly after hearing that but then the worry strikes me. I know I'm obligated to worry about my mom but I actually become slightly scared and not out of obligation. I feel it deep down and it's the fear that makes your heart race. I just ignore the feeling and push it down. Tonight isn't a day to be worried, it's a day of fun sparks and excitement.
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Author's Note:
I totally 100% didn't cry writing this