forty-seven
"Ten minutes until showtime, people! I need everyone to take their places. It's a big crowd out there tonight so let's make them proud," address Professor Thornton as he paces back and forth behind the curtain.
I'd taken a moment before Professor decided to give us an elaborate speech to peek behind the curtains and get a look at the crowd and as he said, the theater was jammed packed with people. Throughout my brief minute of scanning, I hadn't spotted my brother—though Taylor made it her mission to be seated front and center snuggled into Leonardo's side.
There was no doubt that her being there was refreshing, but aside from that, my conscience ate at me. I knew that I couldn't hold off the conversation I needed to have with Wyatt, no less than her. The thought alone caused somersaults to erupt in my belly because I wasn't ready to lose two relationships in one evening. Once I pulled myself from the curtain, I noticed Wyatt had made his way over to me. His face was neutral, apart from the clear nerves, but other than that, he didn't look distressed or like he was ready to expose some huge suspected secret around campus. That was a plus.
"You've got this, baby, and once we're all done, we can take care of the elephant in the room." He turns his attention in Trevor's direction and although it's a split second, my eyes lock with Trevor's before he noticed Wyatt by my side and aimlessly roamed to members of the cast as he continued with his speech that sounded of nothing more than disordered background noise. Wyatt plants a delicate kiss on my lips and then he takes his starting position.
"Alright, people. This is the moment we've spent preparing for. Don't forget that there will be important people in the crowd so now is the time to put on your best act," Professor announces to us. He pulls his headset from around his neck onto his ear and pulls the curtains back just enough to slip out onto the stage.
There's a brief moment of silence amongst us as Trevor recites the prologue to the crowd and just before he finishes the last line, everyone begins wishing each other good luck, and then the curtains open for act one. The only good thing about the horrible predicament I'd been in was that at least it would make the scenes more emotional, considering I did have something I wish I could desperately keep a secret or else I'd be ridiculed by my peers as well. Perhaps this unconventional mishap would benefit me in front of the agents in the crowd.
Wyatt, Philip, and a few others stand perched on an overhead platform, gleaming down at me as I make my way across the stage, clutching my fake baby, Pearl in my arms. Following close behind me is a small crowd of people speaking obscenities behind my back about my alleged abominable sin. I step onto a wooden podium and look toward the balcony at the people meant to punish Hester for her crimes. The scene is brief and concludes once the scarlet letter A has been placed onto my dress. Nothing we hadn't rehearsed about a million times before, although this time, it felt definite—not something re-enacted for the enjoyment of others.
I recall my very first attempt at this exact scene when Wyatt and I had first practiced it. I wasn't as emotional as I'd been tonight. Tonight, this scene felt uncomfortably tangible.
"I will not name that man!"
It's a madhouse behind the curtains as everyone races around to set up the next scene before the curtains were due to be opened again. Trevor made it clear that with as many people as we had on set, It should take no longer than five minutes to have the next set completed, which we were all able to abide by with time to spare. Our next few scenes progress blissfully and while we perused through our sets, I managed to get a peak of the crowd again and noticed my brother finally decided to show face, along with a few unexpected guests. Lorelei and Trinity sit beside him.
Immediately my mind raced to my father. If she weren't there with him, he was alone. Not only that but if she had finally decided not to be there with him, did it mean she'd given up hope as my brother had and how I was slowly beginning to?
This was the last thing I needed.
We're given a twenty-minute intermission once we've performed more than half of the play, but instead of making my way out to converse with Taylor or my brother and his guests, I stay behind the curtain, searching for Wyatt though it was as if he'd vanished from the face of the earth. I intended to completely avoid my professor, yet I seemingly couldn't stay out of his sight. As I walked toward the dressing room, he'd been making his way from the opposite direction toward me. I intended to smile at him and continue my search for Wyatt, but once we've approached one another, his hand grasps hold of my wrist and he pulls me into the empty dressing room, and toward a stall in the back.
"You should consider making this your major. This and writing of course. You're a natural on the stage. I couldn't keep my eyes off of you," he says, caressing the silhouette of my body.
It's impossible to suppress the current that courses through me every time his skin touches mine, but I knew this time had to be different because his fate lay in my ability to convince Wyatt against going to the dean and against pursuing the allegations against him. Not only that, but it would've been a good time as any to develop a shred of self-control when it came to being in the same room as him.
"Thank you, Professor. I should be making my way back though. My dad's girlfriend and her daughter made a surprise visit to see me perform. They're waiting for me and most likely have news about my dad."
It's me that unintentionally plants a peck on his lips before I turn to leave the dressing room. I've almost made it out unscathed when his voice comes to life, encouraging me to give him at least a few minutes of my time.
"We're okay, right?" he asks, brows furrowed with worry—planting me in place.
Is there a proper way of answering that question? Especially when we weren't okay. Not even in the slightest bit. I'd been cheating on my boyfriend and having sex with my teacher who was hours away from possibly being terminated because of our actions. I want to tell him yes—to pretend that everything was okay, but they weren't, and lying wouldn't make the issue go away any quicker than the truth would. Although we were the only ones in the dressing room stall and we still had a little over fifteen minutes left of intermission, our location was compromising because had anyone stumbled inside, they'd hear our every word.
His hand is cold once I lock our fingers together and pull us toward the dressing room office. It wasn't much better than being in the dressing room considering it had a large sheet of glass overlooking the entire space, but at least we could go inside and shut the door for an ounce of privacy.
By the time the door has latched shut and I'm able to get a good look at Trevor's face again, It's apparent he knows something is off now. I instruct him to take a seat on the bench against the wall before removing my hand from his to pace the floor. My heart was beating over a hundred times a minute it felt like. Granted we hadn't taken all the right precautionary measures to avoid this predicament, but that didn't make the reality of it any less terrifying. As absurd as it may have sounded, I cared for Trevor. Maybe enough to wholeheartedly say I was in love with him, but who were we kidding?
"It was Wyatt we heard earlier," I spit, trying to take down what little saliva I had remaining in my mouth. Before I've even had a chance to continue, he's already on his feet again, pacing the floor just as I had. "He saw us together and assumed that you were taking advantage of me. He's intent on going to the Dean's. He said he's already sent him an email and he wants to go to his office to see if he was there to tell him in person. I don't know what to do."
"You did at least tell him I wasn't taking advantage of you though, right?" I know I don't have to say much because my silence says all that my words couldn't. I hadn't corrected him on that fact because I assumed doing so was worse, because then I'd have to own up to our illicit relationship, but hearing the words come from Trevor's mouth instead of Wyatt's made the situation seem even more detrimental. "So you're telling me he thinks that we were doing what we were doing without your consent?"
All I can manage is a nod. Fuck. What the hell was I thinking? Of course, the plan was to make that clear to Wyatt, but how could I when I'd stooped to the lowest level of trust? Cheating on someone who genuinely cared about me and made sure to tell me not only verbally but with his actions. My stomach is in knots once again and pacing the floor only adds to the syncopation of my breathing and the thumping in my chest so I take a seat on the bench, never once breaking eye contact with him.
All the judgment I'd put on Meghan about her infidelity when low and behold, I wasn't exempt from it myself. Humiliation was the least of my emotions. Trevor had to understand my reasoning for not acting immediately. Admitting my and Trevor's endeavors were reciprocal would only amplify Wyatt's desire to go to the dean. Or at least that is what I assumed and taking that chance was a risk in itself. There was no way out of this without some kind of repercussions.
"We should be heading back," He says, making his way toward the exit.
He doesn't even attempt to look back in my direction before he slips from the dressing room and down the corridor. If things weren't ruined before, they were now. I give myself three minutes after Trevor left to make my way out and down the corridor to the auditorium as well. My brother, Trinity, and Lorelei remained in the same spot I'd left them in, scanning the crowd of people in search of me. Lorelei catches the first glance at me. She gives me a big smile, then waves me over in their direction.
Judging by the look on her face, leaving my dad behind seemed to show in her features the closer I approached her. Up close her, eyes were bloodshot and puffy like she'd spent hours on hours crying and wiping tears away. Trinity shockingly looked amused to see me, so much so that I caught the subtle tug of her lips that formed a small smile. My brother couldn't have been the least bit unamused as his eyes aimlessly roamed the theater. It was apparent I hadn't been the one he was searching for.
"You did great up there," Lorelei chimes, breaking me from my stare at my brother. "Don't tell anyone, but I went against the rules and recorded a few of your parts. I know your father would have loved to see how talented you are on stage."
Even hours away from the dread of the hospital room, my dad was still a prevalent thing in her mind, and I couldn't help the joy it brought me knowing he truly had someone looking out for him. We talk a tad longer and she fills me in on more of what the doctors had told her. His care team was still very optimistic about his recovery, but the fact that he hadn't made any more progress in consciousness made them worry, but not enough to abandon hope. Lorelei tells me there's no reason to get worked up about it though. Not when she had spent tons of money getting multiple opinions from well-credited physicians herself.
"What made you decide to come here? It couldn't have been just to watch me perform. Dreycott is a long way from here."
"It was Trinity that encouraged me," she says, nudging Trinity playfully in her side. "Watching you perform was something I wanted to witness regardless. I didn't even know you were interested in performing until your brother told me about it. I bought tickets for the show that night. Not too long ago, I can remember myself on stage. Nonetheless, Trinity said my staying at the hospital was starting to get the better of me. I couldn't deny that she was right, so we're going to stay for a couple of days to recuperate. We've got a hotel in the city."
To my surprise, a wave of relief wept over me at her words. As much time I spent denying a relationship with her, my brother managed to build a connection enough to call and let her know of our well-being. What sense would it make to avoid a relationship with someone who wanted to be involved with our lives, especially when our dad wasn't around to witness it? I want to thank Christian—oddly enough because he didn't have to bring her here for me. I want to thank Trinity for her persuasion—because I know it must've been hard confronting her mother about her stays in the hospital, but the words don't come out. To either of them. Instead, I flash her a similar smile and she gives me a nod in return. Chris—preoccupied with scanning the room to take notice of our cordial conversation—excuses himself once he spots Meghan a few aisles over. She waits until Chris has left to probe questions about who Meghan was to him. All I say is that she's his on-and-off-again girlfriend. If he wanted to let Lorelei in on his business—that was his prerogative.
Before I've even realized it, the lights in the theater begin to dim and the crowd begins to disperse into their seats. After saying my goodbyes, I head back towards the stage and behind the curtain to which I see many of my cast mates changing their clothes for the next scene, but the person I'd genuinely wanted to see was nowhere in sight. There isn't much to the costume change that takes me less than five minutes to swap into before taking my place on the stage.
Everyone else eventually starts making their way to their spots as we prepare to continue the play, but it isn't much later that a disgruntled noise from behind the stage steals the attention of all our cast mates.
"Everyone take your places, I'll see what the hold up is," I say, coming up short on my scan of people who aren't in their designated places—Wyatt and Trevor. I knew being a stage director had extra responsibilities, but I expected Trevor to be the one to deal with them. The back area is only a minute's walk from the stage and the closer I get, the disgruntled noise I'd heard moments ago matriculate into scuffling and obscenities coming from voices that seemed all too familiar. My brother and Trevor are face to face with fists balled tightly and anger clearly on the verge of taking them both over. Once I've finally made it close enough to catch their attention, I notice Wyatt standing off to the side with a devious grin on his lips, though he's the least of my concern.
"Wyatt, go take your place on stage. You were due back two minutes ago," luckily he doesn't object, or take any time trying to challenge my requests, but he does wipe the interest off his face before leaving the three of us. "What the hell are you two doing? Chris, are you serious? The opening night of my play and you decide to pull this shit? I knew I should've never invited you."
My words seem to not faze him because his stance refuses to falter. He doesn't even take the initiative to give me the pleasure of eye contact. Instead, his stare only hardens on Trevor—who was no less to blame than my brother. He was supposed to be the adult. If not that then at least the bigger person. Why was it that nothing could go as it was meant to? Instead of waiting for them to decide to grow up and act as men, I pry them apart at arm's length, standing firmly in the middle. Only this time, I'd been focused on Trevor.
"Do I need to remind you about the importance of this play? Here I am wasting my time babysitting you two idiots while agents wait in the crowd for this play to continue."
"Tell me it's not true, Alex," Chris huffs. His anger became more prevalent as the seconds ticked away. "Tell me this grown-ass man did not put his hands on you?" This was why disclosing the events of our indiscretions was detrimental. For this very reason. And yet, I'm stunned speechless. Christian speculating something was going on between me and Trevor was one thing, but him being fully aware that he and I had sex was different; terrifying. My brother could get angry. I knew as well as anyone, but this wasn't anger. This was rage, pure rage and nothing I'd thought to say seemed sufficient enough to diffuse the tension.
"First of all, that's none of your business. Secondly, why are you doing this here? Now? We can discuss this afterward. Please."