"Where were you?" My mother screamed and her voice echoed throughout our penthouse. I raised my hands to my ears to cover them. My father's fork clanged against his plate.
"At work. Adelle, as you can see, I just got back from work and I'm most definitely not in the mood for your antics tonight!" My dad answered through a scowl, his blue eyes angry and my belly started to feel unsettled.
They were going to fight again. They always fought. It always started with mommy saying something that got daddy angry then he would curse her very badly or say extremely hurtful things to her that would make her cry and then she would hit him equally as badly. Sometimes with her hands, sometimes with random house objects and sometimes with something dangerous like a knife or a pair of scissors.
My father never hit her back. Never that I saw but he said the worst things to her and my mom had the worst temper. She was very violent.
"You are lying! You must really think that I am stupid!" She fired back, coming closer until she stood over the dining table on the other side. Her blonde hair was wild and her black eyes were blood red.
My dad looked up at the ceiling. "By the moon, what did I ever do in my life to deserve such a useless excuse for a mate?" His blue eyes met hers now. "Adelle, you are mentally deranged. If you're not careful, I'll send you to an asylum and you'll never see Rochelle again. Anyway, I think she'll be better off without a mess like you in her life,"
I started to cry, very scared of what was happening before my eyes. Daddy wanted to take away mommy from me. My whole body convulsed.
"You've fucked every female that has legs in this pack but you call me the deranged one?" My mom screamed the words out as she angled the knife from far away at my father. "for ten years, I have been with you and continuously swallowed the humiliation of being your mate as you constantly cheat on me every fucking time you get a chance to but why? Tell me why Jon did you have to fuck my best friend too? Why? Of all the girls in this pack, why her?"
My mother's whole body started to shake and her tone began to change. It went from being angry to sounding like she's about to burst into tears. I kept crying.
"Have I not been a good mate to you? Wife to you? Mother to our daughter?"
"Good?" My father shouted back at her, and stood up suddenly. "Just look at yourself, Adelle. You're crazy. Always on my neck. Why do you even have a knife in your hands?"
"You're not even going to deny cheating on me with my best friend, Jon?"
"What's the point, Adelle? You're nuts. I still curse the day that I laid eyes on you and was bewitched by this bond. I can't stand you. You make me want to hang myself and if the only peace I can get in my life is a few minutes of pleasure that another female who isn't psychotic like you can give me then without a doubt, I'll take it. That's the only way I even get the energy to even deal with you and all your shit. Being married to you has been nothing short of a never-ending hell,"
"So why are you still with me then?" Her scream was muffled through tears and I cried harder begging my parents to stop it but both of them ignored me outrightly. I never stopped crying.
My father pointed directly at me.
"She. Rochelle. My princess, Rochelle is the only reason I didn't divorce you the day after I married you. Sometimes, I wish she didn't exist so I could leave you but she's here and she's my princess and I love her," my mother's eyes found mine in a moment of complete silence. The tears that ran down them were urgent and furious. Her black eyes darkened further, taking on a hue that was reminiscent of a dark never-ending tunnel.
"And yet you stand here and hurt her mother every day,"
Suddenly, my mom marched towards me. Then, I was violently yanked out of my chair and into her arms. I'm screaming and crying but she only holds me against her. I looked at my father through desperate eyes and his lips parted helplessly.
Then, I felt the sharp blade against my neck.
"Adelle, what are you doing?" My father questioned with caution, his hands raised. "Leave Rochelle. This is between the both of us. Don't hurt her,"
"You never wanted me, right? Or Rochelle? Now, I'll send her back to the moon and then kill myself too so you can finally be happy with all your mistresses, so this never-ending hell would finally come to an end,"
***
The Present
I wake up with a start, feeling like I can't breathe as I cling onto my neck. Yet another one of my childhood memories that haunts me. I cough continuously, feeling like something sharp is stuck in my throat.
Despite years passing by since that incident, anytime I dreamt about it, I could swear that I could still feel the sharp blade against my neck. I exhale, reaching for the glass of water next to me. I drank it all.
I needed fresh air. A lot of it.
I stood up, wore my stockings and shoes and darted out of the room. I needed to breathe and if possible shift but no, I was reluctant to shift. I weaved my way through the mansion to the outside, still feeling suffocated despite the night's fresh air. The moon stood in all it's glory beyond the horizon and I cursed it. The reason it's giving me these memories as dreams, is it to punish me because of my sinister ploy to seduce Enzo? Because I don't understand why I'm remembering these things so frequently. It was never this frequent.
I walked in the field, my skirt flowing with the breeze like a free soul. The howls tormented the air but in several ways, they comforted me. No Raven, you aren't that child anymore so calm the fuck down.
To be honest, my parents were just simply mismatched from the start but still, that doesn't mean I want to be woken up in the middle of the night because of their memories. Well, in all honesty, Enzo wanted me to remember my past and I guess he's getting exactly what he wished for.
My parents met at a convention about rocks. That's how I got my name even. Rochelle, my birth name literally means 'little rock' and it was just a play on how my parents met. Creative, I know.
My father, Jon Umber was the heir to his father's architectural empire - Umber Creations. At the time, it was just only starting to get recognition but still, it was promising and grew into a huge business empire. My mom on the other hand was a geophysicist.
They met at some convention about nature and the environment. I don't know. All I really know is that it was about rocks. The minute my parents walked into that room, they smelt each other and knew that they were mates. My father was a casanova and despite my mom being his mate, that didn't stop him because like with every other woman in his past, he seduced my mom into his bed. They had sex that very night and it went really far because he didn't know how to control himself with her and neither did she. Before he knew it, he couldn't control himself and marked her as his.
The rest is history.
They dated, got married officially and after a year, had me. But their marriage was far from happy. My dad had wondering eyes. My father and lust were inseparable. He cheated on my mom constantly. A new mistress every week and it tore my mom apart.
My mother started to drink in order to deal with the fact that her mate was constantly unfaithful. She became really violent when she was drunk. She used to beat my dad. Well, technically, he never fought back because according to him, she was a female but my mom fought with him a lot. This built an even bigger wedge between them. Eventually, they became more co-parents than lovers.
So yes, the moon makes mistakes because if my parents' pairing was not a mistake then I have no idea what the hell was. They are the reason I do not and will not ever believe in the mate bond. They were miserable with each other but yet, that bond manipulated them so badly that they were even more miserable without each other. That's why no matter how many times my mom or dad left each other, they were back home within a week. So many fights about who got to keep me yet both being miserable because they were away from the other.
Toxicity 101 honestly.
They fought every fucking day and I really wished I didn't have to see all that. I wish I didn't have to see the ways my mom physically hurt my dad or hear the despicable words my dad told my mom that even the worst person in existence should never get to hear, least of all a mate.
Unfortunately, we don't get to pick our parents.
And even more unfortunate - we don't get to pick our mates either.
Several wolves ran right by me and I wanted nothing more than to rip off my clothes and shift. It's been so long since I last shifted but the problem is that this pack has so many rules that I'm sure they have one for shifting too. Especially since there's nudity involved.
I pass by the pond that is also governed by rules and I feel like stealing a water lily just to spite the people of this pack - both the rule makers as well as the stupid wolves who all follow these outrageous rules that make zero sense, honestly.
I groan. I can't show my daring side, unfortunately.
Then I see a meadow of sunflowers and I rush towards it. I never saw a sunflower field before and so, I'm very excited. It's so vast and looks endless and I want to explore it. I love the way the sunflowers look like they are reaching upwards to touch the sky. I lift my feet to go in but then I feel some resistance against my arm.
I turn instantly, the assassin in me almost kicking her leg in the air to connect with the face of whoever just held me. It's a scream I hold in my throat when I find Enzo's dark eyes looking at me with all the curiosity in the world. I let my limbs relax and let out a sigh of relief.
My eyes are set against his like a deer in headlights and he looks at me too, the resistance against my arm making sense now.
"You scared me," I tell him, looking down at his hand that's gently holding onto my wrist and then he lets me go.
"You can't go in there," He tells me, taking a step away from me so that there is visible distance between us.
"Don't tell me that it's against the rules too?" I roll my eyes.
"I take it that you're a bit of a rebel," He notes and I gulp, cursing myself for letting my personality come to light. Raven, you are supposed to maintain a docile and innocent persona not come across as daring!
I shake my head. "I just think the rules here are a lot and there seems to be a rule governing everything, some of which doesn't really make any sense if I'm being honest,"
He smiles, his eyes glinting against the backdrop of the gorgeous moonlight. For some reason, the moon seems to shine the brightest in this pack or is it just because in this pack, unlike mine, there aren't a lot of lights to distract you from seeing the moon? Regardless, I do like the difference.
"That, you are sort of right about but this is an old pack and with it, so are its traditions - old," He says, taking his hands behind his back. "But no, going into the sunflower field isn't against the rules. It's just that most of the shifted wolves roam through this field and it's really a huge field so I don't want you to get lost or hurt in case someone thinks you're an intruder and tries to mind link you but you don't respond,"
"Oh!" I exclaim, understanding his intent and then finally, I step away from the field.
Yeah, no way. The last thing I want to happen is to get lost in this pack! The silence would end me.
"Walk with me?" Enzo offers, his head tilting to urge me in a certain direction and I agree, walking alongside him. Again, he makes sure to keep a visible gap between us and I want nothing more than to breach it.
If social distancing was a person, it would definitely be Enzo that's for sure.
I'm sure that his pack has restrictions for males and females walking or standing together, that's why he always maintains a gap between us.
"Shouldn't you be asleep?" I ask, filling the silence between us. "I assume being an Alpha isn't exactly the most laid back job,"
"You're right but being Alpha also comes with a lot of energy for some reason. It's an energy that can only be released by shifting so I tend to do that quite a bit,"
"How often is quite a bit?" I inquire, pushing my hair behind my ears. His hands remain behind his back.
"At least once a day," I try to not react to this, forcing my eye muscles to remain normal. That's a lot of shifting. So basically, he shifts every day. That's insane. I would comment but I'm supposed to have amnesia so I believe that I'm not supposed to remember how often I used to shift. It was never often honestly. I shifted on average three times a month and one of those times was during the mandatory shift on the full moon.
"You haven't shifted in the week you've been in my pack," Enzo notes. "You can't imagine how envious I am of that,"
I smile up at him.
"The fact you haven't shifted in at least a week tells me several things. You either forgot how which I think is quite impossible but oh well or you're not from a Small-sized pack because wolves there are used to shifting a lot,"
Enzo, I think instead of seducing you, I'll end up killing you. What the heck ma! Why are you so analytical? Now, I have to shift often just to throw off your suspicions.
I smile at him despite the daggers in my heart.
He doesn't say anything after that and we only walk, the breeze light and welcoming as we walk past several fields filled with wildflowers and one spring. This pack is so pretty. It seems so natural that it even awakens the need in me to be in my true state - my wolf.
"Alpha, could I ask you a question about your pack?" I ask, as my fingers brush over a really pretty pink rose.
"Sure," Enzo responds and we both stop by the pink rose patch.
"Why is almost everyone here named after a flower?"
Enzo's face lights up instantly. His head falls backwards as he lets out a small laugh and his facial features are nothing short of amused. Then he reaches down to touch a rose.
"Because flowers are considered beautiful and parents want their daughters to be the most beautiful because beauty matters a lot to the females in this pack. I don't know why but it does so they name their daughters after flowers because of how pretty and alive flowers are when they bloom," He tells me and I nod, staring down at the flower patch.
It made alot of sense yet no sense at all. Since I got here, every other girl which I have either met or Tinley has spoken about is named after a flower. Either she's a Willow, a Rose, an Iris, a Daisy or some other flower name. Even Indigo and Fleur are flowers.
"I take it you've met the millions of girls named Rose and Lily in this pack?" He notes, still smiling and his hair jumps when he shakes his head.
I agree with a nod although I haven't met a Lily yet but I've met three girls named Rose. One was Bellarose but oh well, still a Rose. Every girl Tinley tells me about is a flower.
"Why are there so many girls named Rose?" I question, still touching the petals of the pink rose in the patch.
"Because Roses are thought to be the most beautiful flowers," He leans down and with a small struggle, he picks a rose from the patch. "And every mother wants her daughter to reflect the moon's beauty and be equally as beautiful so they name her Rose. I think it's a thoughtful logic,"
He stands up, holding the pink Rose in his hands.
I don't think that I should be judging actually considering my parents named me after a rock! A little rock! Some parents name you after flowers and some after rocks.
"Wouldn't you like to have a name like Rose? If everyone didn't already have it, of course?"
"I would never want to be a Rose or a flower in general, honestly," I state, finally letting go of the rose petal to look at Enzo squarely. Before he could ask why, I answered saying, "flowers wither. What's the point of being the most beautiful when your beauty is bound to fade? When it's destined to wither away and be picked by its very own admirers? Destroyed by them? I don't see the point. Instead of being called a Rose or a Daisy or some Magnolia, I think I'd rather be called the beauty or radiance of that very flower instead of the flower itself because beauty is never forgotten but a withered flower will always be forgotten and eventually, replaced. I never want to be replaced,"
Out of the blue, Enzo takes my hands in his, opening it to place the rose he had picked inside. He closes my palm.
"Aoife. I guess your name will be Aoife then."
~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~
Aoife is pronounced as 'Aye-fa' by the way. And well it means;
What do you think of the name for Raven?
Also what do you think about her parent's situation? Who would you say is the worse parent and why?
Finally, has any of you listened to evermore which was just released? Whatcha think? Favourite song so far?
Thank you all so much for reading❤️❤️❤️. Please remember to vote, comment, share and follow❤️❤️❤️
~Эмма💕✌🏻