"I owe you an apology." I heard him say and I immediately turned my head around to look at him.
"For what?" I asked, carefully. After all this time, I didn't think I ever heard Vince apologize before. Especially not to me.
For a split second, I glanced down to our hands that were still intertwined before glancing back up. He hadn't bothered to even move his hand but he didn't pull away either.
"For all of this." He voiced, staring ahead. His jaw clenched and I pressed my lips together. "I shouldn't have dragged you into this mess. None of this was supposed to happen but I..."
I held my breath as my heart seemed to have picked up its pace, waiting for his next words.
"I'm sorry."
I tore my eyes away from him and instead, stared at the light layer of snow that had covered the ground. There was a gnawing feeling inside of me but I couldn't tell what it was.
Why did I feel... glad that all of this happened? I was glad that I had gotten kidnapped and got a chance to know Vince. Did that make me a bad person?
"I forgive you." I automatically said, without thinking. I never really did blame him in the first place.
I blew out another puff of air, sinking lower into the seat. Raising my gaze, I stared straight at the building he was staring at, finding nothing interesting about it.
I froze once I felt him squeeze my hand. Suddenly I felt his hand on my chin, urging my head to turn to face his. Before I could protest, his lips met mine, taking me by surprise.
"Vince," I mumbled from behind his lips. He grunted in response, his lips claiming mine as his as he kissed me so gently yet so passionately.
For a second I was unresponsive but then I finally surrendered, kissing him back.
The kiss was like none before, much sweeter, much more... fervid. At the moment, I was vulnerable, willing to bend to his every order and I wasn't sure if I should've been more afraid.
I felt like he could read my every thought, everything I felt for him but held back. My heart ached, unable to voice my feelings. I wanted to tell him. Every fiber of my being was crying for me to tell him but I couldn't. I couldn't make things more complicated than they already were.
Pulling my emotions together, I pushed them to the very back of my head, and instead, I let myself get lost in one of the last moments we would ever have together.
...
After the two of us came back from our walk, we went our separate ways to our rooms. I had tried going to sleep but unfortunately, sleep did not come. I spent most of the night tossing and turning, nervous about my departure. I doubted I was going to get any sleep tonight either.
The sun was already starting to rise, reminding me of my limited time here.
Today was the last day. The last day I would spend here and the last day of the year. Before I had to leave and go back to my dad's.
The whole thing was ridiculous. An actual fucking joke. My dad couldn't hold me at his house. I was an adult and I no longer had to be under his care. After he finally paid off his debt, I would be safer even without bodyguards and there would be no reason for him to be so controlling. Maybe I could finally be independent and be able to live my own life.
I spent the morning cleaning up even more after I had eaten breakfast. I made sure that everything was clean and organized although Vince could've easily had someone else do it for him. It distracted me for a while but then I ended up running out of things to do to keep my mind off of what I had been avoiding all this time.
I had quite literally fallen in love with my kidnapper. Did I have Stockholm syndrome? None of this was supposed to happen but yet it did. What if it happened for a reason? Was it supposed to teach me a lesson of some sort?
I snorted out loud at my absurd thoughts. I never believed in the "everything happens for a reason" bullshit so why was I considering it now?
This whole situation was so unnerving I was sure I was beginning to lose my mind. Was this what love did to people?
My eyes widened at the L word. Fuck.
Why? Out of all people, why Vince?
It was doomed to happen from the very beginning. I had been doomed from the start to catch some sort of feelings. Sex was the highest level of intimacy. One night stands were fine and easily forgotten but what Vince and I had was bound to end like this.
Relationships with no strings attached never lasted because someone would always catch feelings for the other. And that was exactly what happened. There weren't any spoken rules between us but we both knew what the one rule was. It was loud and clear. No emotions, sex only.
What frustrated me more than anything else was how I had let it happen. I had known that I was beginning to care for him but never would I ever think I would fall this deep.
The nagging pain in my chest intensified.
He didn't feel the same. I wasn't enough for him to fight for. I was just a stupid girl, taking up a room in his penthouse and he saw me as nothing more than a bargaining chip. And a sexual release.
I was so achingly hollow and empty inside. I felt numb to everything but the pain.
How utterly foolish and naive could I be? The signs were all there but I chose to be ignorant and ignore them. I was the reason I felt this way and there was no going back. I should have stopped myself once I realized.
I remembered the time in the shower so clearly. My heart clenched, remembering how his eyes had looked at me. Although no words were exchanged, that day he had revealed something to me through his eyes and I didn't know what it was. Did he care for me too?
And that one night during Christmas. What was that look?
It was nothing, Darcy. You're only hurting yourself if you keep overthinking things.
Taking in a shaky, deep breath, I fixed my hair and smoothed out my clothes before walking out of my room. I never did like overthinking things.
Making my way to the balcony doors, I opened them, hoping to get some fresh air in an attempt to get my mind off things. A gust of cold air flew in as I closed the doors behind me.
To my surprise, Vince was already sitting there, drinking a glass of alcohol. An almost empty bottle of liquor sat on the table near him. He lifted his gaze, giving me a brief look before his eyes slowly traveled down my body, shamelessly.
The sundress I was wearing didn't show too much cleavage but it did bring out my curves, which he noticed.
I cleared my throat, drawing his attention away from my body and back to my face.
"Good morning." He muttered, finishing his glass. He started to pour himself another glass. Despite being dressed and freshly shaven, he didn't look as put together as he was usually.
"Good morning," I replied, taking a seat at the table across from him. I didn't think I had ever seen him drink before and I couldn't help but wonder if there was something wrong.
"Is something wrong?" I asked, leaning back into my chair as I watched him take a large swig. Placing the glass back down on the table, he shook his head.
"No, nothings wrong.." He replied calmly, his voice huskier than usual. I narrowed my eyes, realizing that he was tipsy.
"How many of those have you had to drink?" I asked, eyeing the close to empty bottle of whiskey. Vince shrugged, staring out the balcony before rubbing his jaw.
Although he had revealed to me his past, I felt like there was still so much I didn't know. He was still the same mysterious man that I first met back before this all happened. But his mysterious demeanor seemed to pull me towards him even more.
My heart clenched. The universe was mocking me; dangling the one that I wanted but couldn't have right in my face.
But you could have him. The voice in my head mocked. Just admit your feelings.
I scoffed at my thoughts, earning a glance from Vince. Logic and reasoning were the only things that prevented me from making a complete fool out of myself.
Hey Vince, I know you only kidnapped me so you could get your money back but I love you.
Yeah, that was not going to happen. Times had changed since I first got here and so did we. So was I still just a bargaining chip?
"Why is the purpose of our existence?" Vince suddenly asks, cutting me out of my thoughts. He continued to look out to the sky in a faraway gaze and I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to go on. "We work and then we die. Maybe it's because we don't see the bigger picture but is there a reason for our existence?"
Ah, he really was drunk. Or why else would he ask someone a decade younger than him about the meaning of life?
"You're filthy rich, Vince. You could spend everyday partying at one of your nightclubs and still always be more than financially stable. But yet you choose to slave away to your work." I responded, crossing my arms.
His eyebrows narrowed, forming a crease between them. "That's not the point." He let out a sigh, rubbing his temples. "We live and we die. In a century or so, we won't fucking matter. What we do with our lives won't matter because we're gonna be rotting away 6 feet under."
Well, that took a dark turn.
"I know that," I said, dryly. I watched his Adam's apple bob as he continued to avoid looking at me.
"What point are you trying to prove?" I sighed.
"There is no point here." He voiced, closing his eyes for a moment. We were silent again.
"You're punishing yourself. That's why you busy yourself with work" I began. "But why? Why do you punish yourself?"
I stared at him, waiting for his response but he remained impassive as he opened his eyes again.
"When we first slept together, I only saw it as a distraction." He suddenly said. I paused, unsure of how to respond. He was sidetracking.
"But the thing is, sex isn't supposed to be a distraction." He was practically slurring his words at this point but they were still distinguishable. "I don't see you as just a distraction, either."
I completely froze in his seat, my eyes widening at his words. I tried to remember when he was ever this open with his emotions but I couldn't because he never was. Or maybe he was drunk and spewing bullshit.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
"I don't know what you are." He turned his head to finally look at me. "I just want-"
The pounding in my chest became louder and heavier as I waited for his next words. Each second seemed to drag into hours.
What was he going to say?
"-more whiskey." He finished, picking up his glass and taking another large gulp.
I let out a sigh, but not one of relief. Why did I feel so... disappointed in his answer? What had I expected? Him to admit that he had feelings for me?
Here he was drunk and he seemed to care about the bottle of whiskey more than the girl living in his place. I didn't blame him.
"You ignored my question," I mentioned. His jaw had clenched and unclenched.
"It was my fault that my father was killed. If I hadn't..." He paused, gritting his teeth. "If I hadn't dated Bella, he would still be alive."
My jaw dropped in both shock in horror. He blamed himself for what had happened. How did I not see that?
"None of this is your fault, Vince. You can't blame yourself for something that you didn't do."
He let out an exasperated sigh.
"I wasn't the one who killed him but I could've easily prevented it. I knew that Bella was a money-grabbing wrench but I didn't think that she would go to such an extreme extent."
He began a slow circular motion on the side of his head, massaging his temple. His jaw clenched once again.
I couldn't even begin to imagine how he felt. All the guilt and yet he held himself responsible for all of it.
"It's not your damn fault!" I snapped, harshly. Was his ex the reason he was like this? I didn't even know her and I was already starting to hate her. "You can't blame yourself for something like this. If you want to blame it on someone, blame it on her."
To my surprise, Vince lowered his head, chuckling lowly while shaking his head.
He turned his head, staring at me straight in the eye. For a long moment, I stared angrily into his eyes as he bore his eyes back into mine. I searched for any hint of emotion, sadness, anger, anything but miserably failed.
"Do you want some?" He suddenly asked, breaking the silence. He held the glass towards me and I stared at it for a long moment.
I scowled at him. What was he doing?
I was about to say no but then I realized I could really use a drink.
"Yeah, I could use a glass," I muttered as I grabbed the glass from his hand, bringing it up to my lips. Taking a large swig, I closed my eyes, enjoying the burning feeling of the strong liquid going down my throat. A tingly feeling spread throughout my body as I handed Vince back the glass.
We sat in silence for the next few minutes, watching out the balcony, enjoying each other's presence.
...
"I already booked you a ticket home. Your flight is at 9 am." My dad spoke from the other line. I hummed in response.
"I'll see you tomorrow then," I replied. He had called to inform me about my transportation home.
"See you tomorrow, Darcy." He said before hanging up. I sighed, placing my phone on the dresser. He always had something better to do.
The sun was starting to go down and it was nearing dark. After Vince finished the bottle of whiskey, he left to bury himself with work back in his office. He had been drunk but not too drunk to the point where he couldn't function.
I walked into the bathroom, beginning to shower.
Stripping out of my robe, I stepped into the shower, wincing at the cool tile floor coming into the contact with my feet. I turned on the shower and stepped into the water, letting it trickle down my body.
Showers always helped calm my nerves. The sensation of the steamy water blurred my thoughts, almost putting me in a trance.
Beginning to wash my body, the heat of the steam soaked into my skin. Cleaning myself was almost like a gratification rather than a necessity. I always had an obsession with cleanliness especially when it came to myself.
I shaved, cleaned, and then dried myself off. I slipped on my robe and walked out of the bathroom.
I glanced around the room one last time to see if everything was back in its place, where it was when I first arrived. I had organized and cleaned everything. Since I had arrived with nothing, it wasn't too much of a pain to clean up after myself.
I couldn't seem to wrap my head around the fact that in a couple of hours, I was leaving. Today was going to be the last night I would spend here. Also, today was the last day of the year.
How convenient.
...
Taking a deep breath, I knocked on Vince's office door for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past two months.
"Come in." I heard his deep voice say. Turning the door handle, I walked in to see his back towards me as he was busy gathering the papers on his desk.
I scanned the room noticing that it was much cleaner than usual. The usual mess he had on his floor and table were all gone.
"Woah." I breathed out, walking into the room. "Did you finally decide to clean everything?"
Vince turned to face me before giving me a strained smile.
"I organized papers and a couple of other things." He responded, gesturing to his now clean desk. I nodded.
"Happy new year," I said, remembering why I had come to his office in the first place.
His expression softened and a genuine smile tugged on his lips. He lowered his gaze to the watch on his arm.
"Not quite. We still have one more minute."
Rolling my eyes, I walked towards him. He watched me, leaning back on his desk. His collar was undone and so were the first few buttons.
"Do you want a New Year's kiss?" He asked, sarcasm hinting in his tone as I approached him.
I snorted, reaching my hand up behind his neck. Cocking my head to the side, my gaze fell to his lips before meeting his eyes once again.
Pfft. A New Years Kiss sounded like something straight out of a romance movie. But yet... it was exactly what I wanted right now.
Without even answering his question, I stood up on my toes to mash my lips with his. My other hand moved to also wrap around his neck. His arms wrapped around my waist, bringing us closer together. My hands moved to tangle inside his hair, gripping onto him.
What was it about kissing him? Every nerve, every fiber was electrified as our lips met.
Maybe this sounded even cheesier than the New Years Kiss but it felt like fireworks were going off. It felt like it was right out of a movie, so cliche and... romantic. The kiss wasn't like the ones before. This time it was slower and gentler. What did it all mean?
I could feel it. All of it. All of the emotions I felt for him and they were crying out, begging me to tell him. But I couldn't.
It wasn't just because of my pride. If it was only my pride that was holding me back, I would've given it up. The universe seemed to want to keep us apart. We didn't fit together. I was young and hardly had my life planned out while he did. I couldn't let someone like him hold me back.
And my dad. He would never approve of me and Vince.
He paused for a moment before he started to pull away. My breathing had become uneven and so had my heartbeat. He just had that effect.
"Are you ready to leave tomorrow?" He asked, his voice low.
And there it was again. The painful ache inside my chest. I had tried to ignore it during the past couple of days, trying to convince myself that I was happy to finally leave but now with him standing right in front of me, the ache seemed to be intensified.
Was I ready to leave? Maybe not but I wasn't going to tell him that.
"Ready as ever." I laughed nervously, faking my enthusiasm.
Throughout the whole time I was here I had let myself fall for him, knowing that there was no real chance for us. Once I left tomorrow, there was no coming back. I knew that these last few hours were probably going to be the last time I ever saw him.
Vince chuckled lowly along with me.
"Despite the whole situation, I enjoyed your company these past months." He smiled faintly. My heart pounded against my chest at his words.
Don't read into it, Darcy. He means he only enjoyed having sex with you, nothing more.
"So have I," I muttered the words.
I had enjoyed his company far too much. It was all my fault that I was the one hurt right now. I wanted to confess everything I felt to him but what good was that going to do? Even if he did feel the same, I wouldn't be able to stay.
I felt angry, not at Vince but at everything else. My dad, the world, but mostly myself.
I didn't have the guts to reveal how I felt towards him especially when I knew that he was going to turn me down and say he felt nothing. What we had was just a fling, nothing more. Except I had caught feelings whereas he hadn't.
Why did it hurt so fucking much?
I was never the emotional one, especially when it came to relationships. In fact, I could hardly even stay interested in a guy longer than a week but Vince was different.
What was it about him that was so appealing? Everything about him was just so fascinating and so compelling. I could never get bored of him even when I got to the point where I knew everything about him.
But of course, I couldn't have him.
"Darcy?"
I snapped out of my daze, looking back at Vince.
"Yeah?"
He was watching me through his hooded eyes. His hand brushed against my cheek before they tucked the loose strands of my hair behind my ear.
I could feel the literal butterflies in my stomach. Every little thing he did made me fall deeper and deeper for him. I had ignored my emotions for too long and they were now all crashing down on me.
He was silent for another moment as if he was studying me, trying to figure out what I was thinking. His jaw clenched a little.
What did he want to say?
"You're an intriguing young woman full of potential. Don't let your dad get in the way of that."
I smiled softly at the compliment.
"Of course," I said, pressing my lips together.
The next moments were silent but it wasn't awkward. It was almost calming as we enjoyed each other's presence.
Maybe this was a good thing. He didn't have time for me. Despite living in his house for the past two months, he spent more time in his office than he did with me. He needed to focus on work and I was only a distraction.
Tonight was the last night I was going to spend here. Last night I could spend time with Vince.
I wasn't sure what came over me but all I knew was how badly I wanted him. I couldn't leave without having him one last time. I knew I was being selfish but he was all I ever wanted. The only thing I needed at the moment.
My arms wrapped around his neck, harshly bringing his lips back down into mines. My body relaxed as his soft lips met mine. He responded to me with the same force, devouring my lips. Embracing each other in each other's lust I almost lost myself. Letting a low moan escape as he bit down into my bottom lip, my hands moved to Vince's shirt.
Fumbling with the buttons, I managed to unbutton his shirt and rip it off. Running my hands down his body, his lips left mine to kiss my neck.
A whimper came from me as he harshly sucked at the sensitive part of my neck. My hips pressed against his with need. They began a small motion, rubbing against his hard bulge as my hands clung onto his broad shoulders.
His hands tore off the t-shirt I had on before moving to unclasp my bra. Trembling under his touch, his hands ran down my naked body.
My hand reached out and sought his cock beneath his pants, squeezing his painfully hard erection.
"Jesus Christ, Darcy." He hissed out, letting out a sharp breath.
He moved back up to press a firm kiss against my lips. I moaned into his mouth, my hands flying up and tangling my fingers into his hair. His soft dark hair.
I was going to remember this. Every single bit of this and all the moments before.
How sweet and wonderful his lips felt against mine. Or how he would groan out my name in that sexy voice of his. Or how good he could make me feel like no one before him. All of it would be embedded in my brain.
I was crazy for a man who felt nothing towards me. And I couldn't even get myself to admit it.
One last time, I told myself. I just needed him one last time before it all ended.
...
I don't think I could ever be like Darcy.