After the male collapsed, Sotie immediately ran to Demi's open arms. She had dropped the bow earlier. The pregnant female shook and looked like she would start crying any second.
"Somebody move the body." Demi's calm voice filled the room's silence. "And you," she pointed at one of the kids, "Sit Sotie down, get her a blanket and water." The female was definitely going into shock. Sotie reluctantly let go and leaned on the young female, who started leading her towards the desk.
Demi went back to work on the injured male from before. Voices resumed, and eventually, the chaos and noise came back to the tent. The battle seemed to die down, then suddenly she felt the world around her come alive. Rumbling, cracking, and screaming were only some of the sounds that came from outside. Deep down, Demi knew that it was Eric and his magic, but she never expected it to be this powerful. In her childhood, Demi had seen a fair share of earth-based magics, but Eric's was something else, or at least by the feel of it, it was.
The ground beneath her seemed to quake with anger, and Demi's own magic shot toward the source. Without letting it, her energy flowed out of her, and into Eric. Demi didn't necessarily not want to do it, but she hadn't meant to, at least not consciously. Her subconscious recognized the magic and its user as her other half, even though Demi didn't know it yet.
She kept on working, never stopping for more than a minute. Her legs ached, but her mind was still fully energized, and her magic wanted out of its cage. It wanted to fill the injured, to heal them, to end their pain, but Demi kept it in check. Barely.
By the time the sun had started to set, all of the wounded had been tended to. Some were allowed to go to their own homes or tents, while the rest had to stay for extra care. Demi's hands were covered in blood, and there was no fresh water to clean them off in. Her eyes landed on the bow, still on the ground, and she felt like she was suffocating.
Demi had killed somebody, the realization hit her like a brick. No remorse, guilt, regret, or other negative feelings hit her, because the male was gone. There was nothing she could do about it, and it's not like he hadn't deserved it. But there was a feeling of knowing that blood was on her hands, literally and figuratively, not that it was a relatively new feeling.
And for some reason, this realization came with a reliving of her childhood. Not the Ura period, but before that, when her mother and she lived in a beautiful building on a hill, where the breeze from the ocean was always coming in through the windows that were rarely closed. But despite it's calm and peaceful appearance, it was a living nightmare, an inescapable hell.
"I'll be back in a few minutes." Demi abruptly said to no one in particular. She walked briskly out of the tent, however even in the open space, she felt the presence of death. Lady Death had followed Demi all her life, never nearing her, rather those around her. Death and she were good friends, she did the heavy lifting, while the quiet widow did the rest. But Demi had promised a long time ago that she'd stray from Death's side, that she wouldn't go back no matter what happened. She'd promised her mother all those years ago that she would never again be the weapon and monster that Demi's father had made her into.
But now that promise was broken, and Demi wasn't sure what to think of it. What would her mother think? She might agree that in the situation the male had to die, but how would she feel about the guilt that Demi felt, or rather, didn't feel.
Knowing it would be stupid to go deep into the woods, Demi only strayed to the river. She fell to her knees and scrubbed at her hands furiously. As her thoughts swirled around her mother and past, Demi felt tears come to her eyes. She didn't have the energy to wipe them away, so they stayed there, dropping as they became heavy enough. Like rain falling from clouds.
As if her thoughts summoned it, the scent of rain filled her. Twigs snapped behind her. Demi knew that it was Eric and that if he'd wanted to sneak up on her, he could've easily. But being the gentlemanly male he was, Eric had purposely snapped some twigs, alerting her of his presence. Truthfully, she would've known by his scent alone.
At first, he just stood behind her in silence. Eric's steady presence didn't help calm her this time. It only made Demi think about how he would react to her past. Sobs racked her, and eventually, Eric knelt next to her and put a reassuring hand on Demi's shoulder. Again, it only made her cry harder. It was a bit pathetic, but Demi wasn't in the right mindset to care.
"I heard about what happened in the tent." Eric said. His tone wasn't accusing, but rather soft, "Word spread kind of quickly actually." He let out a breathy laugh. "You didn't do anything wrong, and nobody is going to think that." He paused for a second, probably thinking of what else to say. "And nobody's going to blame you for feeling guilty about it either."
Demi almost laughed at that. The problem wasn't that she felt guilty, it was that she didn't. And honestly, that wasn't even the main problem. Right now, in that moment, Demi was reliving every excruciating second of her past. That was the problem. With that reliving, also came the fear of what she was, how people might hurt her for it, and of course the fear of her father.
Demi's sobs had slowed to silent tears. She hated being afraid, especially when it was about how people would treat her for being a witch. It's not that she was self conscious, Demi didn't give a shit about what people thought of her, it was rather the fear of what people will do to her. In the past she'd been beaten and enslaved because of her blood. Demi knew that Eric would never hurt her, especially for who and what she was, but deep down was the fear he would, that just wouldn't go away.
"I know." Demi finally responded. She'd probably be hailed a hero for killing the male, for saving Sotie. But apparently Eric wasn't done trying to reassure her that everything was fine. But deep down he knew things were anything but fine, and so did Demi.
"The-the first kill," Eric started, his tone soothing, "it's always the hardest." Bull shit, and he knew it. Demi was slightly annoyed that he still thought what happened in the tent was the thing that was truly bothering her. "It'll stay with you, but Demi, you just have to remember why you did it."
And suddenly anger filled her. Demi wasn't exactly sure why, but part of it was that Eric was treating her like a naive child, and in his eyes she was. It pissed her off. "That's bullshit and you know it." Pushing his hand off and standing up, Demi let Eric see the clusterfuck she called a past in her eyes, "Every life you take, or death you cause, stays with you no matter how justified it was. It never gets easier, sure the first one haunts you the most, but every one after that still patronizes you.
"People don't just stop feeling guilt or remorse, they just get better at dealing with it, at hiding it. Every death will stay with you, their faces, their eyes. If not in every waking moment, then in every damn sleeping one. Questions will constantly fill you. Did they deserve to die? Did they have a true reason to do whatever they did? Did they have a family that is now waiting for them? And you know what?! You will never know. You will never know for sure what would've happened if you hadn't killed them.
"You wonder if there was a better way. Because maybe, just maybe, there might've been. It never gets easier, it never goes away. No matter the number of lives you've taken, those horrible feelings stay. Maybe someday, you'll be able to push them aside and move on with your life, but the deaths that you have caused...They will always, always be with you." Demi knew that she wasn't talking about Eric, but rather herself. She'd done things, had been forced to do things, that would haunt her forever, no matter how she tried to justify them.
With her rant over, Demi realized that Eric had stood up, and was a lot closer than necessary. She'd spoken true, and could only hope that he wouldn't know that most of what she said was about herself. Eric's eyes were filled with an emotion that Demi'd only seen once before, from her mother. It was love and affection. And it stirred the same feelings in her, that had been buried deep down for six years, seeing as they were never needed. Until now.
Now, after years of burying her past and emotions, it all came crashing down in an instant. Demi just wanted to lie down and cry at this point, but we all know that wasn't going to happen. "I'm sorry," Eric whispered. He had leaned down close to Demi's ear, his breath tickled her skin, which had just now decided to become incredibly sensitive, and his strong arms wrapped around her back, engulfing Demi in his scent. "You're right, it never gets easier. I'm sorry for lying." He sounded almost pained, like a puppy who just wanted love and attention, "I just wanted to make you feel better."
Gods, she could barely move. Eric was so close, and his breath was on her neck, and Demi couldn't really think properly at the moment. "Do you forgive me?"
"Forgiveness? Well, that isn't something I generally give out, and especially not to just anybody, though I think just this time I can make an exception." She rambled, only slightly louder than Eric's whisper. Demi was trying to lighten the mood, however, he was just so damn close. She pushed him back gently. It was not in an, 'I reject you' manner, but in an, 'I need to breathe, too' manner since Demi felt a little short of breath. Her heart was racing and she could feel her palms get sweaty.
Eric's eyes were still filled with unsaid emotion, but Demi tried to focus on what she needed to tell him. She'd told Eva, promised really, that she'd tell him after the battle. Well, it was after the battle and Demi was beginning to have a panic attack, which explained her earlier symptoms. What if that emotion, that love, was gone after she told him what she was? Would he look at her differently? In truth, Demi didn't want to find out. Ever.
But the truth will set you free, right? Or will it damn you? The question filled her thoughts. It doesn't matter what blood is in Demi's veins, she didn't care. She didn't care what other people thought, never had. Then why was she so afraid of his reaction? Eva hadn't cared, not a bit. So why were the words now stuck in her throat?
"What's wrong?" Eric asked. Demi realized that she'd been staring at her feet, and a layer of sweat could be seen on her forehead. When she still didn't answer or look up, Eric's hand pulled her chin up. Demi stared into his earthly eyes, while Eric stared into her forest green ones. Panic filled her, and he could see it. "Whatever it is, we can fix it. You can tell me anything." Damn him, and his warm, kind, brown eyes, and his soothing voice that made her want to relax and spill every secret she was holding back, and his stupidly kind words, that were reassuring and never the cruel lies and taunts Demi was used to. Damn Eric and everything that she loved about him.
"This isn't really something either of us can fix." She said with a slight laugh. It really wasn't something she wanted to fix anyways, even if she could.
"There's nothing that we can't do or fix."
Demi huffed a laugh again, and before her courage, or rather her lack of a full-on panic attack, could leave her she uttered the truth that would either damn her or set her free.
"I'm a witch."