I wake up in a cold sweat, again, rubbing the droplets off my forehead as I let out a yawn and rip the duvet off. Draco stirs but quickly falls back into sleep, his knees lifting up to his chest.
I shuffle quietly to the window, perching on the sill and staring out over the front of the Manor. There's a light flurry happening, my brain suddenly recalling how long I've been stuck in these four walls.
Months of worrying was eating away at my sleep schedule, my body not relaxing for more than 5 minutes at a time. I can't get my mind off Athena and my mother, the two of them appearing in my dreams during the rare occasion I can sleep.
What were they doing right now? How are they handling all of this? Are they safe?
I let out a sigh, my breath fanning in condensation on the wall as I draw a small heart and watch as it fades away.
I peak down at my fingers, an identical ring on each hand. I fumble around with the one on my left, the portkey straight to my mom.
I could leave, I could run away right now, travel to my mom and take us somewhere where no one would ever find us again.
But is that the life I want, being on the run for the rest of eternity? Looking over my shoulder at every corner to make sure no one was following me, and losing Draco in the process.
And then what was the point of all this suffering? If I left now, everything I've done with Draco before this will be nonexistent.
I would bet my life on the fact that Draco and I are the only ones working against the Dark Lord. And without me, I doubt Draco would have the guts to really go through with our plans.
I shake all the thoughts of my head, begging for a moment of silence in my mind. Luckily, I hear Draco breath deeply, patting the empty space next to him.
"What are you doing?" He asks groggily.
I shrug, "Just thinking..."
He chuckles, "You need to stop doing that so early in the morning."
I smile lightly, "What can I say, I'm a morning person."
He rolls his eyes half heartedly and lays on his other side, his back muscles defined in the early light. For a moment, everything feels normal and I sense myself relaxing, but as quickly as the feeling comes, it goes.
Draco's breath becomes even and heavy again as I stand up and grab my cardigan off one of his chairs. I wrap it around me and shuffle down stairs to the kitchen.
The house is quiet, an eerie stiffness to the air as I round the corridor. I'm startled by Narcissa, her light grey eyes peaking out from under her salt and pepper hair.
We both take in a deep breath, "Oh Everett dear, you scared the daylights out of me! What are you doing up so early?"
"I haven't been getting much sleep lately..." I shrug, composing myself.
She nods understandingly, "...Would you like some tea? I can make it 'plain' for you, the way you like."
I smile, "Sure, I would love some."
I wrap the knit closer around me and take a seat at one of the island chairs. We're both silent as she reaches for the familiar lavender chamomile and two ornate China cups and saucers.
Finally, a slow wail begins in the kettle, Narcissa quick to take it off the heat and pour it into our mugs.
"Green or black?" She ask nonchalantly, showing me my options.
I tilt my head to the side, "I'm sorry?"
"Green cup or black cup, dear?" She says with a giggle.
I nod, "Oh right, um... Black I guess."
She nods sweetly, handing me my tea bag and a spoon.
"Black was my maiden name, you know?" She says turning back the stove top.
I take a small sip, the water burning my tongue. "Really? I had no idea, what a nice last name."
"It was nice, but I love Malfoy just as much." She opens a cupboard just to the left of the glasses, a large array of brightly colored boxes stacked neatly inside. She grabs a red pouch peels off the top, dumping it into her cup.
"My very favorite blend," She smiles, dunking her bag of leaves into the steaming water. "I always add a little de-stressing potion to mine. Helps to keep me sane. Would you like some?"
I shake my head, "No thank you, the chamomile does the trick for me."
Her mug smells like Christmas, a cinnamon and clove scent filling my nose as she stirs in her sugar and cream.
"So, was your mother's maiden name Bingham?" She asks, shuffling awkwardly to the seat next to me.
"No," I say, staring into my steeping water. "She picked a new last name when I was born."
She nods, understandingly. "I would have done the same thing, it's a safer option..."
We sit in uncomfortable silence as I wait for my tea to cool down, my body begging me to curl back into Draco's bed and finally rest.
"You've been quiet recently," Narcissa continues, adamant to keep the conversation alive. "Is everything okay with you and Draco"
"Yeah," I nod, warming my fingers up around the cup. "Just taking everything in, you know, adjusting."
I watch as her facade falls slightly, her gaze drifting off to just behind me as if to make sure no one was listening.
"Everett," She begins, but stops to search for the words. "I know what you probably think of me, and honestly, I don't blame you for assuming that. But I need you to know,"
She grabs my hand lovingly,
"You and I... We're on the same team."
I pull away, her previous actions from the past months flooding my mind as I understand what she means.
"No," I whisper. "No we're not."
"Everett please-"
I stand, my feet hitting the cold floor. "How can you say that, after everything you've done? How do you expect me to believe we're working toward the same goal? Draco and I have been risking our lives everyday to make sure-"
She reaches for me again, this time grabbing my forearm and pulling me into her. Her grip is tight but I'm not scared, her eyes are sad and brimmed with tears not wild or angry.
We stand like this for a moment: her energy motherly and stoic and me like a child caught with something they shouldn't be playing with.
"You have no idea what I've done to keep not only Draco, but you safe. I can promise you, no matter how it may look, I am with you." She says through gritted teeth.
I nod, "I'll believe it when I see it."
She lets go of me, her fingers imprinted on my skin. "Don't you see it all now! All these things I've done have kept you and Draco breathing! I don't want the blood of the innocent on my hands anymore than you do."
"It's too late for that! And what 'amazing acts of kindness' have you done to keep us safe? Telling the dark lord about my mother!" I scoff, tears falling onto the apples of my cheeks. "How did that help us at all! It put my life and my mother's life in danger!"
"What are you talking about, Everett?!" She yells back, grabbing me by the shoulders. "He already knew where she was! I never told him about your mother, I never needed to..."
My body goes rigid in her arms, "Wh- what?"
"She gave him the ring to put in Borgin and Burke's! I thought you knew!" She states, the room going black around me.
I shake my head, "No... No that's impossible, when I saw her, she- She was angry I was a Death Eater."
Narcissa scoffs, "Well none of us parents want our children to follow in our footsteps."
"But you said..." My mind replays the day I came through the vanishing cabinet. "You told me to lie to the Dark Lord about my mother."
"No dear," She says, stepping forward and cupping my cheek. "I was trying to tell you to keep your cards close to your chest around him, if you knew anything about the wand."
My feet move me backwards until I slam into a wall, my throat heaving as the twist in my gut is unraveled. This was my missing piece, this was the section of the puzzle I couldn't complete.
All at once it clicks into place.
My mother was a Death Eater.
****