Warning: R-18.
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Kabanata 27
Thought
"How's work?" bungad ko kay Ico nang makauwi siya sa summer house.
Panghuling gabi ko na 'to rito dahil kailangan ko nang maging hands-on sa birthday party ni Sab simula bukas. Hindi ko pa rin natatanong si Ico tungkol sa kasal namin kasi walang tiyempo kahapon 'tsaka maaga siyang umalis kaninang umaga.
Sigurado akong wala siyang ideya tungkol doon dahil unang-una, masyado siyang abala upang makibalita. Pangalawa, mukhang wala naman siyang pake. I didn't think it'd be a big deal, anyway. Sinabi niya nang mahal niya 'ko! Kahit nga ikasal kami ngayon mismo, ayos lang sa 'kin, e!
"Fine," he said and kissed me on my forehead. Nilapag niya sa center table ng sala ang mga gamit niya bago umupo sa tabi ko. "I revived a person today."
"Ano?"
Niluwagan niya ang necktie niya. "It's not my first time, but it still feels nice to bring someone back to life. I've also been doing research about a certain case. Ipagpapatuloy ko mamaya. I think I'm close to a breakthrough."
Ang productive niya naman! E ako? Ang nagawa ko lang ngayong araw ay ang magbabad sa init at manood ng telebisyon! Kahit nga wala akong maintindihan sa Grey's Anatomy ay pinapanood ko pa rin sa pagbabakasakaling maka-relate ako sa kaniya. 'Yon nga lang, wala pa rin talaga akong maintindihan!
"You sure are busy, huh?" I pouted.
"Not too busy for you."
Nagsalubong ang kilay ko nang makita ang mapaglarong tingin niya sa 'kin. Slowly, he unbuttoned his dress shirt and leaned toward me. Napasandal ako sa hand rest ng sofa. Palapit siya ng palapit kaya napapikit na 'ko. Maghahalikan ba kami? Shit! Dapat pala hinanda ko ang sarili ko!
Ilang segundo akong naghintay sa halik niya ngunit 'di 'yon dumating. I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was his teasing smirk. Hawak niya na ngayon ang remote control ng TV. Pumula ang pisngi ko nang mapagtanto ang nangyari. Right! Kinuha niya lang 'yong remote!
"Ang gago mo."
"What?" patay-malisya niya.
"Buong araw akong naghintay sa 'yo tapos gaganituhin mo lang ako pagdating mo rito?" I faked a scowl to get back at him. Alam kong nag-aalburuto siya sa tuwing nagmamaktol ako. "My exes don't even think of doing this to me, tapos ikaw..."
"Hey..."
He tried to reach for my arm but I averted it from him. "Ewan ko sa 'yo!"
Personally, I don't condone the 'toyo-culture' that some of the girls my age seem to fancy doing. I think it's absurd. But then there's just something about Ico when he's forced out of his domain, when he's uncomfortable... and on edge. Kaya gustong-gusto ko siyang asarin, e. His face was priceless every time.
"Sunny," suyo niya. He encircled his arms around me. Mukha na tuloy akong nakakulong sa hawla ng mga bisig niya. "I was only playing with you. Why did you have to mention your exes? I don't mention mine when I'm upset."
"Because!" Wala akong madugtong kasi ang immature naman talaga no'n.
"Don't do that again. That's unfair. Naglalambing lang naman ako."
"'Di ka marunong maglambing."
He buried his face on the crook of my neck. "You can teach me."
Uminit ang pisngi ko. His hot breath against my neck and his arms around my waist aroused something inside me. Tila may mga paru-parong nagliparan sa loob ng tiyan ko. Before any worldly thoughts could devour me, kinalas ko na ang mga kamay niya sa 'kin. I snatched the remote from him and turned on the TV.
"Let's just watch a movie."
Tumango siya at umayos ng upo. "Okay."
Habang pumipili ako ng movie na panonoorin namin ay umakyat muna siya sa kuwarto niya upang maligo at magpalit ng damit. By the time he came back, I had already regained my lost composure and self-reservation, until I realized he was fucking shirtless, and so the worldly thoughts came back to me again.
Umiwas ako ng tingin nang umupo siya sa tabi ko. His scent lingered in the air. I fidgeted on my place and recited all the prayers I knew in my head. Ilang mura rin ang pinakawalan ko sa isipan ko dahil kanina pa ako tuksong-tuksong pagmasdan ang perpekto niyang katawan. Tuyong-tuyo na ata talaga ako!
"I'll p-play the movie now."
"Uh-huh," he said in a husky voice.
Pumili ako ng isang action movie para 'di na mapunta ang isipan ko sa kung ano-anong bagay habang nanonood kami. Yes, I was used to playing around and making out with different kinds of men, but I have never gone further than second base.
Malandi ako pero 'di pa 'ko ready for mature roles! Though I sometimes imagined doing it with Ico. At biglang parang ready na 'ko! Minus ligtas points na ata ako sa langit nito!
Napatalon ako sa inuupuan ko nang maramdaman ang kamay ni Ico sa braso ko. Nilingon ko siya at nakitang sinusuri niya ang balat ko. My forehead creased. What the fuck is he doing? Papatayin niya ba ako sa antisipasyon?
"You got tanned," he noted and slid his gaze up to me.
Napalunok ako. "A-ah, oo. Nagbibilad ako sa araw kapag, uh, walang gawain dito."
"Don't overdo it, though. You might get skin cancer."
"I won't."
"It looks good on you."
"Thanks."
I was so fucking awkward and I didn't know why. Pilit ko na lang na itinuon ang atensyon ko sa telebisyon upang isantabi ang kamay niyang nakapulupot ulit sa bewang ko. I was doing well until the main character in the movie started hooking up with a girl.
Nanigas ako sa puwesto ko habang pinanonood ang love scene ng bida. 'Di ko alam na ibang action pala ang tinutukoy nila sa action movie na 'to! Behind me, I could feel Ico's slow breathing. It was slower than normal, like he was controlling himself from something. Ramdam ko ang pag-init ng pisngi ko. A shower sex scene was playing in front of our faces!
Kahit nadadala sa nangyayari sa telebisyon ay pinatatag ko lamang ang sarili ko. Nang matapos ang scene na 'yon ay 'tsaka ko lang napagtantong pinipigilan ko pala ang paghinga ko. Wala na 'kong naintindihan sa mga sumunod na scene matapos 'yon. When the movie ended, I couldn't remember anything about it other than the hot, steamy sex scene we just watched!
"Matutulog ka na?" tanong ko sa kaniya.
He lingered his eyes on mine before looking away. "Hindi pa. I need to continue my research. You should sleep, though. Magha-hating-gabi na."
True enough, umakayat na 'ko sa kuwarto ko at siya naman ay tumungo sa kaniya. When I was on my bed and trying to fall asleep, it only occurred more to me that I wasn't in the mood to rest. Aligaga pa rin ang sistema ko sa 'di ko malamang dahilan. It's like the only thing that could stop my high was a cold shower. Or a truck hitting me. The first choice was better.
Dahil tapos na 'kong maligo, naisipan kong mag-midnight swimming na lang. I wore a simple white two-piece bikini before going out of my room. Tumitihin ako dahil ayaw kong magising si Ico kahit nasa may dulong hallway naman ang silid niya. Nang makarating sa swimming pool ay kaagad kong nilusob ang sarili ko roon.
Nanginig ako sa sobrang lamig ng tubig at ng hampas ng hangin sa balat ko. The cold was unbearable at first but the longer I stayed there, the less colder the water and the wind became. After a few minutes of chilling and doing nothing but staring at the starlit nightsky, I decided to start doing laps. Hinihinaan ko ang pagsipa dahil baka maistorbo ko si Ico.
Katatapos ko lang sa panghuli kong lap at aakyat na sana nang makarinig ako ng papalapit na mga yapak. A hand offering a beach towel materialized in front of me.
"You'll get sick," Ico said.
"It's fine."
He scowled. "That's enough swimming. Magpahinga ka na."
A struck of genius came to me as I stared at him, unwet and fixed. Imbes na iakyat ang sarili ko ay hinila ko ang beach towel na hawak niya upang mahulog din siya sa pool. I laughed so hard when he splashed against the water. Natigil lang 'yon nang makita ko ang nanghahamong mga mata niya nang makatayo na siya ng maayos sa tiles ng pool.
"Sunny!" he exclaimed in an irritated yet teasing manner.
"Mama!" I panicked when he swam toward me.
Pakiramdam ko ay parang pating siyang kakagatin ang binti ko kapag nakalapit na. I swam toward the pool's other edge across me. Ang bilis nga lang niyang lumangoy kaya naabutan niya agad ako. He spanned my waist with his hands to still me on my place. Humalakhak ako ng malakas dahil bahagya akong nakikiliti sa hawak niya.
I propped my back against the edge of the pool and stared at him. Nabura ang tira-tirang ngisi sa mukha ko nang mapagtantong seryoso at madilim ang mukha niya. It was as if he was thinking of something deep as he stared at my eyes down to my lips then back to my eyes again.
Suddenly, the coldness of the water around me evaporated at the heat building up inside my chest. My stomach was churning, anticipating... Ikinulong niya 'ko sa braso niya. Unti-unti niyang inilapit ang mukha niya sa 'kin hanggang sa naramdaman ko na ang labi niya sa labi ko.
At first it was soft, mellow, like a music box playing or any tune that's designed to lull you into sleep. Then it became passionate, wanting, searching. Nagsimulang maglakbay ang mga kamay niya pataas. His palm was on my sideboob, caressing it in a shy manner. Until the kiss went deeper, brazen, resembling the kind of kiss that the main characters in the movie we watched shared.
"Ico," I gasped when I had the chance to get some air amidst his kisses.
Electricity had now replaced the blood flowing in my veins. Sinubukan kong ibalik ang sarili ko sa kasalukuyan ngunit tila ba nasa isang panaginip na 'ko. I didn't care about anything else aside from Ico and his tender touch on my over-sensitive skin.
Napasinghap ako nang kalasin niya ang laso ng swimsuit top ko. The flimsy garment fell on the water and I was left with nothing but my two mounds facing him. He kissed me again as his fingers played with my twin peaks. Below me, I could feel something hard poking my abdomen. The thought of him getting turned on by me weakened my knees.
"We should stop," he half-heartedly said while giving my neck shallow kisses. "You're not ready for this."
"It's fine," I assured him. "I can handle."
"Sunny..."
"I want you, Ico. I want this."
Hindi ko alam kung paano kami nakarating sa kuwarto niya, o kung paano namin nahubaran ang isa't-isa. The last thing I remembered was his fingers easing in and out of my flesh. Gusto kong takpan ang mukha ko sa kahihiyan, isang bagay na 'di ko alam na meron ako. Hearing my moans felt surreal. I never thought I could make such lewd, high-pitched sounds.
Nasa itaas ko si Ico na tinitignan ako sa nalalasing niyang mga mata. I wondered if he knew I was a virgin then. With all the rumors about my sexcapades, 'di na malayong isipin niyang may nakauna na sa kaniya. It's not like it mattered, though. He'd know soon enough that he's the only man I surrendered everything to, anyway.
"I love you so much," he whispered tenderly while positioning his shaft at my entrance. "I'm sorry if it took so long for me to say that. But you've always caught my attention, Sunny. Since the moment I saw you, my heart knew you'd mean the world to me."
"I don't need your fucking love reminders, Ico," I breathed out in both annoyance and anticipation. "Ipasok mo na."
Natawa siya. "Alright. Don't say I didn't warn you."
A few inches in and I was already writhing in pain. Fuck. Ang sakit! Kaya pala pinapatagal niya kasi magiging ganito kasakit! Tumulo ang mga luha ko sa hapdi. He kissed my tears away while his hands played with my clit, stroking it and sometimes softly pinching it. His other hand found my left mound and started massaging it while his lips sucked on the other. Napaungol ako.
He started pounding on me in a restricted motion. Nang tumagal ay nawala na ang sakit. My moans left my mouth, now louder and lewder than ever. Nakusot ng mga kamay ko ang bedsheet nang maipasok niya na ng buo ang kaniya sa loob ko. He was careful not to rock me hard, but when I started meeting his reserved thrusts, his patience snapped in an instance.
'Di ko na marekognisa ang sarili kong boses habang naglalabas-masok siya sa loob ko. Kung may kapitbahay siguro kami ay rinig na nila ang mga ungol ko. Ico was grunting and moaning against my ears as his thursts went deeper and harder.
"Turn around," he commanded, and I obliged.
Humigpit ang hawak ko sa headboard ng kama nang magsimula siyang maglabas-masok sa loob ko sa ganoong posisyon. He was holding my tiny waist while precisely taking me from behind. He set a rough, yet gentle pace. Minsan ay dumudulas ang kamay niya pababa at minsan ay napupunta 'yon sa dibdib ko. We were both driven by nothing but desire and desire only.
I shivered a bit when he rolled his hips and pushed even deeper. Shit. Why is he so good at this? Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang ungol ang pinakawalan ko habang mas bumibilis ang pag-unos niya galing sa likod ko. I was so wet. I could even hear the sound coming from the friction caused by our love-making.
"I-i think I'm coming," I told him.
"Ah," he softly groaned.
His thrusts became frantic, as if he was trying to beat a set time or something. Ilang matitinding pag-unos pa bago ko naramdaman ang pagnginig ng tuhod ko. My stomach knotted in heat as he spilled his juices inside me. I helplessly collapsed like a corpse so he needed to catch me by his hand. Pagod kong ipinikit ang mga mata ko nang maramdaman ng likod ko ang lambot ng kama niya.
I was still in trance but I was sane enough to be aware of what I had done. I surrendered my V-card to him. Kapag nalaman 'to ni Minerva, siguradong magagalit siya. Unlike the nature of her business, she never failed to remind me that I should preserve my virginity and only give it to someone I was sure of. 'Yong taong 'di ko pagsisisihan.
As I drifted into sleep, I assured myself that I made the right call. Ico was my person. He was someone I would never regret nor give up on.
Or so I thought.
***
no nut november to this chapter: 👁👄👁