Simulation terminated. Real life starts now.
Cobalt blinked twice, standing as still as a rod. He remembered the Transfers didactic story of The One Who’d Gone Over the Ledge at the Grand Canyon. Yes, that was it. The Grand Canyon.
There seemed to be no grave dip of multicolored rocks anywhere in the near vicinity. Still, lesson one for a Return echoed in his mind: In real life things could die.
Because of this, Cobalt found himself unmoving on the corner of what looked like a street. Yes, it was a four way stop, he concluded at the same time that he decided minor movements were safe enough. There were few people out tonight as it was chilly and the air felt heavy and moist around him. He allowed himself to squint and tilt his head at the big pole not two feet to his left. It was giving off a buzzing sound, and at the top, at least twenty feet above Cobalt’s head, electricity seemed to be spurting out the top.
Definitely dangerous, Cobalt thought, and looking around him to the open space of the sidewalk, took a large step back.
“It’s a light pole.” Cobalt jumped at the sound of a feminine voice coming from directly behind him. Cautiously, he turned only to find a young female standing between him and the nearest building.
Seemingly safe, thought Cobalt, and holding out his hand, he spoke, “Hi there,” his voice came out in low frequencies and he took care not to seem shocked at the odd sound of the tilt and cadence of human speech. He had studied it for so long, but the difference between study and practice was still surprising. The Transfers had warned him of this. They were right again.
The female only came up to Cobalt’s shoulder, and she found him very toned for having grown up in the Cybernet, silently scolding for the thought. It wasn’t entirely her fault for The Transfers tell the Department of Simulation Transplants very little when one of their own complets the process to Return to real life. She personally thought it was a shame they referred to it as such. If she was living in the real world, then what were the stores of humans tucked away in the Cybernet doing? …fake lives? Maybe if they weren’t tucked away so neatly out of sight, she thought, her mind running away from her. Maybe if there was another acceptable answer…
“I’m Cobalt,” the tall man spoke, still holding out his hand, his face flipping between confidence and uncertainty.
The female shook her head, “Sorry,” she said smiling and stepping closer, her hand meeting his. “I’m Juniper—you’re representative from the Department of Simulation Transplants and real life mentor,” she spoke, scolding herself again. This time for sounding so business-like. She shook her head, smile widening, “But you can call me June, everybody does.”
Cobalt nodded once, studying June as if she were a very interesting science project. June lifted her eyebrows. Cobalt knew this meant she was nonverbally asking his a question, and felt his face flush as he realized he did not know what the question was, and he began to stammer.
“You, you…. you do this thing with your head right before you speak,” he started. When June appeared confused, Cobalt shook his head, pointing to his face. “This,” he said, doing it again.
June began to laugh, “Sorry, Cobalt, I’m afraid you’re my first mentee.” Pulling her jacket tighter around her, she motioned for him to follow. “It’s just something I do to clear my thoughts. You know—help me concentrate on the conversation, or bring me back around.”
Cobalt followed June down the block, watching her move her hands as she talked. Real life people are so animated, he thought. While he was trying to figure out how to incorporate his hands into his speech, he was stopped suddenly by June’s arm jutting out in front of him.
“Woah, buddy,” she said as Cobalt was about to step off the sidewalk. A car sped by, inches from Cobalt’s outstretched foot. He could feel the breeze come off the car, however, he was unsure that that was what had caused the shiver to race through his bones.
“Definitely dangerous,” Cobalt muttered to himself as he watched the taillights disappear through the intersection.
June chuckled, cutting her eyes towards her odd companion, “Um, well, sometimes.” Looping her arm through his, she walked him across the street. “Lesson number one, Cobalt,” she pointed both ways, “look both ways before crossing the street.”
Cobalt nodded and June led him towards a neon sign, the letters obscure in the foggy air. A smattering of people walked by, one shouldering Cobalt out of the way as he passed. Cobalt’s eyes widened, definitely dangerous he thought, feeling his spin tighten with adrenaline as it launched into flight or flight mode. The man passed, however, with little thought or so much as a nod towards Cobalt, and he felt his body relax. Safe, he thought as a sigh hissed through his nose. For now.
June watched Cobalt from his shoulder, feeling his muscles tense and relax as the man had brushed against him. She knew that all physical contact in the Cybernet was simulated. Still, she worried at the panicked look on Cobalt’s face and how he jumped back to fine so quickly. June gave a what she hoped was reassuring squeeze to Cobalt’s arm, “We’re almost there.”
Cobalt nodded without meeting her eyes. June began to ponder how exactly the Transfers had prepared him to return to real life. She knew transfer applicants went through rigorous psychological and physical testing to even be considered for the program. However, something was off about this man on her arm.
June’s train of thought left her as they approached the pub. The place had been strategically chosen for its atmosphere, cuisine, and that it was an age-appropriate establishment for Cobalt and June. “Here we are,” she said as they came to a stop outside entrance. The words, The Green Bar, were etched into the glass. Cobalt ran his fingers across the writing, reveling in the rough textures, as he pushed the door open. June ducked easily under his arm and shrugged off her coat once inside.
The interior of The Green Bar wasn’t at all green, Cobalt noticed as he followed June inside. She put her coat on the back of her chair, and Cobalt followed suit, running his hands over the slightly sticky wood-grained bar top, and looking around at the bottles on the wall—their amber and clear contents throwing light in all directions as the green shades of the hanging lights swayed slightly overhead. He closed his eyes without a second thought as he breathed in the multitude of scents inside: the tangy scent of alcohol, the hardy scents of an unseen grill, the sizzle of meat as someone pushed food behind the kitchen doors, the sharp smell of cleaner, and the slightly rancid scent of wet garbage coming from somewhere in the back.
Seemingly safe, Cobalt thought, and with a sigh of relief, opened his eyes to find June staring at him over her menu. He raised his eyebrows in question towards her, just as she had done earlier. It must have worked because she shook her head again, “Is it all so,” she searched for a word, “different?” she asked.
Cobalt rolled the question around in his mind for a moment, “Yes and no,” he stated, then, unsatisfied with his answer, continued, “It’s more.”
June nodded as if in understanding. “What would you like?” She asked, gesturing towards the menu.
Cobalt looked down, immediately overwhelmed with all the choices. “Is there a hamburger?” He asked, the new word unfamiliar on his tongue.
“There is,” June said slowly. “Wait,” she slapped down her menu, hitting him on the shoulder. Cobalt jumped in his seat, “you’ve never had a hamburger?”
Cobalt shook his head, “In the Cybernet, we do not deviate from the recommended food choices.”
June rolled her eyes, “Well, I knew that,” she said, “But a hamburger? Everyone’s had a hamburger.”
Cobalt looked around, back straight on his bar stool, “I can assure you, I have not had a hamburger. They are apparently very dangerous to one’s health and well-being.”
“I mean,” June said, tilting her head one way, then the next, “They can be—I mean, if you eat one every day and do a whole lot of other things,” her hands were doing that thing again where they moved in cadence with her speech. “But by itself? A single hamburger definitely won’t kill you.”
Cobalt seemed to consider her words carefully, then nodded. June signaled the bartender and ordered two hamburgers, all the way. Cobalt seemed pleased until she ordered two drafts as well. The bartender returned with two odd shaped glasses—wider at the top than the bottom, perhaps to prevent spilling, Cobalt decided—with a dark amber liquid inside each.
He hesitantly picked up the glass, studying the liquid with its tiny bubbles inside clinging to the sides of the glass before freeing themselves to float up to the others in the thick layer of foam at the top. June opened her mouth to protest, but it was too late; Cobalt upended the glass and swallowed, foam and all. He set down the glass and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his face pinched in disgust. “Ugh” he said, and June couldn’t help but let out a small laugh.
She held up her own glass, “Safe?” she asked.
“Nasty,” Cobalt replied, smacking his lips together. He tilted the glass on edge, “Is this beer?”
June nodded, “It is.” She took a small sip of her own drink, “It’s an acquired taste.”
“Won’t this kill you faster than the burger?” He asked, clearly confused.
“One won’t kill you, Cobalt,” June said, patience evident in her tone.
Cobalt scoffed, “That should be the tag line for real life.”
“What is that?” June asked.
“One won’t kill you,” he said.
“Only when we’re talking about beer and hamburgers, though,” June protested, thanking the bartender as he set platters piled high with fries and a greasy burger in front of them. It looked safe enough to Cobalt, and the smell was very pleasant. June reached for the ketchup and unscrewed the lid, “There are plenty of things that will kill you on the first try.” Only when she sat down the bottle did she realize that might not have been the wisest of statements. Cobalt’s face had turned ashy white around his dark eyes. June sighed, “But there are plenty more that won’t, Cobalt. Those are the ones that you have to focus on. You can’t live your life thinking about the things that will kill you.” She shoved a fry into her mouth and spoke around it, “You’ll drive yourself crazy.”
Cobalt picked up a fry of his own. Mindful of the food and drink of real life after the incidence with the beer, he inspected it carefully with his eyes and his nose. Sensibly safe, he decided, and sticking it in his mouth, he found that the crisp saltiness of the fry was quite enjoyable. He picked up another as he considered June’s words. Finally, “You’ll have to excuse me, Juniper,” he said.
June stopped eating and looked up. “How’s that?” she asked.
Cobalt shifted uncomfortably in his seat, searching for the words. “In the Cybernet, there is no such thing as death. It is a new thing to me, and I am afraid I find it most distressing.”
June picked up her burger and moved her gaze to stare off in front of her, “I’m aware of that much, Cobalt.”
Her face was red, the joy and smiles gone. Cobalt was confused and said as much. When she asked Why, Cobalt explained, “You seem angry. Is death such a bad thing, Juniper?”
June scoffed and shook her head before looking back at Cobalt, “First off, call me June.”
“You said friends call you June.” Cobalt stated.
The tip of June’s mouth tipped in amusement. “Consider me your friend, then,” she said. Cobalt nodded and June went on, “Death is a horrible thing, Cobalt.” She spoke in quieter tones than earlier, more… sincere he concluded. “Now, I’ve never died myself.”
“Obviously,” Cobalt supplied.
“Obviously,” June replied, a small smile on her face. “But I have had people in my life die. No matter how prepared you think you are for it, it hurts. It rips out your insides in a way that you feel like you’ll never get better.”
Cobalt shuddered. “Death is a dangerous experience, then.”
June tilted her head in what Cobalt had decided was her trademark move, considering him as she affirmed his statement. “You know, it is.
“Death hurts people.”
June nodded, “Burns like the devil.”
“Death makes people sad.”
“Like a thief of joy, if you let it.”
“Death is bad,” he said, ticking off some mental list.
June considered him for a moment, “The most horrible thing on earth.”
Cobalt nodded, and shrugged, turning back to his burger. “Death should be eradicated, then.”
June stopped and took a deep breath. Softly, she spoke, “Like in the Cybernet?”
Cobalt nodded. “There is no death in Cybernet.”
June gave a harsh laugh, “Nope, they just unplug you, right? You know that was one of the selling points when Cybernet was put on the table? No death, no dying—a perfectly stable environment where people could live without a carbon footprint, or needing to be really fed? Knocks out two of the Union’s biggest issues in one fell swoop.” Cobalt’s eyes widened as June’s words filled the small space between them.
“It’s existing, Cobalt. Not living. There is a difference.” As June spoke, Cobalt felt his body tense. With each word, his anxiety climbed notch after notch, elevating past the point of no return. His breathing sped up as she continued. “Really,” she said, practiced words falling effortlessly from her tongue, “it’s pretty disgusting if you ask me. Humans locked away all their lives so that everyone else can do whatever the hell they want.” She threw out her hands, and Cobalt had to restrain himself from jumping. Definitely dangerous, his mind warned as her words became more out of control and frantic. “I mean, who ever decided that this was the best option? It just blows my mind….”
Cobalt clenched his fists, Definitely Dangerous—his brain said again, sending shocks of fear-induced adrenaline through his muscles as others turned to see what was happening at the bar. The weight of their eyes and the tone of June’s voice soaked through Cobalt’s skin to combine with the extra stimuli from the incidental details real life had to offer. The mixture slammed him like a brick and his brain screamed, DEFINITELY DANGEROUS as his lungs and legs tightened and his heart sped to tremendous speeds.
No, Cobalt thought, gripping the edge of the bar until his knuckles were white and his sweaty fingers began to slip.
His eyes shot open when he felt an unexpected pressure on his arm, “Cobalt?” It was June, ducking her head to look him in the eyes, eyes that blinked in her petite face framed by disobedient locks of mousy brown hair falling from her ponytail, only to be caught in the layers of her cable knit scarf. Cobalt tilted his head as he noticed she had brown spots dusted across her tiny nose. Freckles, he thought. Freckles are seemingly safe, he thought again, and then, realizing what he said, laughed at the absurdity of it.
June raised her eyebrows in question, and Cobalt took a deep breath and shook his head as he had seen June do to find that it really did help clear his thoughts. He smiled slightly at the realization—real life was full of interesting discoveries.
He turned towards June, and she moved back to her space at the bar. No one was watching him, it had all been in his mind. Maybe his mind was the most potentially dangerous thing in real life. He filed the thought away for later. For now, he had other things to tackle. “You sound pretty passionate about your beliefs,” he said.
Red flushed across June’s cheekbones, and she picked up a fry, dragging it absentmindedly through her ketchup. She shrugged. “Yeah, well, it’s why I joined the Department,” she said, glancing back Cobalt’s way. “To help people who have never really experienced life, live.”
Cobalt nodded in understanding, and in that moment made a decision. A decision that he knew would affect that life Juniper was so desperate for him to actually live. A decision that was bound to have repercussions for years to come. He picked up the burger with both hands, and catching June’s eyes, nodded towards it. “And this is how you do it?” he asked. June stared back at him, unsure of what he was asking. Cobalt pushed the burger in her direction, “Live life? A burger and fries with an,” he wrinkled his nose, “atrocious beer?”
June studied the return for a moment, and let out a laugh. She picked up her own burger with a smile, and said, “It’s as good a place to start as any.”
Cobalt nodded and took a bite of his burger, sighing in pleasure as the warm richness of the bread and patty combined with the tangy pickle and sauce in his mouth. “Mmmm,” he said, opening his eyes again. “Here’s to living dangerously.”
June nodded, taking a bit of her own, “Here, here!”