Aiden's p.o.v.
It has been days since I have left my apartmemt. I can be so glad that I got to call in sick at the bakery at a payphone closeby and Jonathan understood. Since that phonecall, I haven't left my apartment again, living from canned food and having waves of depression hit me whenever I tried to get my act together and leave the bed.
I am just too tired, too sad and I don't even know why exactly. Everything was going fine until that incident at the club. I'm also afraid to leave the apartment because now, I no longer have the protection of my scent blocking liquid to help me be invisible to werewolves. If I catch the eye of an alpha or even a beta then that's it for me. They will force me with them and do things to me and then I'll never get the chance to see daylight again. Either they kill me after they're done or, the more likely outcome, they will keep me to do all the chores in their pack. I can't live like that again, it hurts so much to think about my days in the pack house. The thought alone brings tears to my eyes.
My body is cold constantly because it is close to December and I don't have any blankets to keep me warm, only the old clothes I found and my work uniform. And I can't make that one dirty and smelly so I always have to wear all of the old jumpers and pants at once if I don't want to freeze at night.
But I know that sooner or later, I'm going to have to go out and find or buy myself some kind of blanket. Great. Here goes the money for my food next week. But I can't risk hypothermia. I couldn't afford any treatment or medicine, so it is either warmth or food. I've gone weeks without food before, I can do it again.
Jax hasn't had the strength to talk to me these last days, probably being as distressed as I am from being hurt by our mate. When I think about it, I'm not even sure if it was our mate. It could have just been the smell of a gorgeous alpha, who I mistook for being my mate, when it was just the powerful smell emitting from him, mixed with the smell of my human mate.
But the strange thing is that I always got so afraid by the smell of alphas but this one was different... It was somewhat comforting. For what felt like a millisecond I felt comfort in it until he struck me.
Well there is no way of telling if he was or wasn't my second mate because there is no way I will ever see them again. I smile sadly. Second mate,ha. You little fool. I say to myself.
I have to get a grip. This is my fate and so, I have to accept it. It is time to move forward and not make a digrace of myself before the moon goddess. She has given my parents a child, a child who they wanted the best for and because of that, I have to strive to be the best I can. To make them and the moon goddess proud. I have to get up and go to work, to find another job that will replace the one at the club and then, I will do my best to keep it. Things will get better, Jax, I promise.
~1 week later~
I am still not fully healed yet. My eye and nose still look horrible. I trace my slow healing back to the malnutrition and depression of my wolf. I have put plasters on the wounds on my arms from the broken glass but they seem to have gotten infected somehow because I hadn't noticed a small piece of glass still stuck inside one of them so they aren't healing either. I have managed to get it out though.
My shift at the bakery will end in half an hour and then, I will make my way out to buy myself a blanket. I can not sleep another night like I did, curled up in a ball, shaking for hours as the coldness broke into my room through little cracks on the sides of my window without mercy. I feel like I'm gonna be seriously ill in a few days if I can't find warmth. The dumpsters didn't have anything useful in them, so I have to sacrifice the money I had reserved for food for a few days. But it will be fine. I'll be fine.
I'm just starting to clean up after I have just put the last badge of bread in the oven. I wipe the counter, sweep the floor, wash up, take off my work clothes and wash my face and hands. I let my hands stay under the water a little bit more than neccessary because it has been ages since I've felt warm water.
Jonathan is standing at the front, talking to a nice old lady, a regular costumer here. I smile and greet her as she does the same. "Jonathan? I just finished the last badge, I'll be heading off now, alright?", I say quietly as soon as he has finished talking.
"Yes, Aiden, good work. See you tomorrow.", he says, waving at me.
As the yellow door closes behind me, I am hit by the ice cold winter air. I can see my own breath as I tuck my arms close to my sides, careful not to reopen the wounds on my right arm. I start walking, embracing the cold. I'm headed towards a store I found a few days ago when I walked past the big house. It must be a truly large chain.
It takes about twenty minutes to reach it and that is all it takes for my teeth to start chattering. The automatic door opens, as costumers flow in and out. One man bumps into me and I almost lose my balance. I look behind me and he just continues to walk, slinging an arm around what seems to be his girlfriend's waist.
I turn towards the entrance and make my way inside. Ohhh, the warmth in here is blissful. I reach for the inside of my jacket and feel my wallet in there. Good.
I'm hit with all kinds of different prizes, and things, things that I never knew anyone would need. There are so many options and selections that it's making my head spin but I have to concentrate on finding the thing I came here for.
When I find the blankets, I'm again hit with diversity in prize, colour and material. I long for something fluffy and warm, I always used to dream of having something like that when I was in the pack house. But I have to find the cheapest thing here to save every bit of money I can. In the corner, there are some dark grey ones, they look rough and scratchy but those are the cheapest ones so I'm getting one of them.
I take one out and drag my hand along the material, a sad expression on my face as it's not nearly as fluffy as I had hoped for.
Know your place.
I hear in the back of my mind again. Alpha's right, I should stop complaining and accept the cards I'm dealt with. This will keep me warmer than before so that's a win.
With new found determination, I stand up again and start walking towards the cash register.
In the corner of my eye, I spot different types of beds with nice covers on them. They look so comfortable, I could just throw myself into them and lie there for ages. I slow down. It couldn't hurt to just look at them.
These beds seem so unreal, so beautiful. I don't remember ever sleeping so elevated. Well that's because it isn't meant for your rank, Omega. I hear the voice of alpha say in my head.
I stop at one particular bed with red and soft covers. It is one that is meant for two people from what I see and it is very pretty. I kneel down before the bed and make sure that there isn't anyone here to see. There are very few people around right now the closest ones being a couple in the other corner of the big room, admiring a magnificently crafted bedside table.
It takes much courage but eventually, I raise my hand. It's shaking. This is rude of me, I shouldn't touch what is not meant for my rank. But I'm not in the pack anymore, I can do this now. Alpha isn't here anymore.
My hand is inches away from the covers as I hesitantly put my hand on the beautiful material and drag it along the soft fabric, not roughly, but just enough so I can feel it. It is such a heavenly feeling and it means so much to me... it feels holy to touch something so soft. I let out a shaky breath that I didn't realize I was holding and a small smile makes its way to my face. I continue the motion, now softly gripping the material. Comforting.
I snap out of it when I am starteled by the loud voice of a young man talking to somebody. I retract my hand and take the grey blanket I had put to the side. I stand up and look around the corner of the big wardrobe that was standing next to the bed, covering me from the view of other people coming.
"It's not my fault you just decided to rip the sheets in half. Seriously you need to get your anger under control sometimes." The voice says sarcastically. I smile as I hear several hearty male laughs following that comment. They sound really nice.
I look around the corner to see four men in the distance, one of them has thrown his upper body on one of the beds, doing dramatic pose, as the three gorgeous men stand around him, two of them smiling and the third one with a slight frown.
Then I take a closer look at the man on the bed. He's young with brown hair and.... oh no. Oh no no no. This can't be him right?
As I realize that it is in fact the boy who kissed me a few nights back in the middle of the club, fear strikes through me. If that's him then one of these men by his side must be the alpha that punched me. If they see me here, who knows what they might do to me, if they think I'm not leaving them alone?
I panic, scrambling to my feet and making my way out, making as little noise as possible, still hearing the men laughing and talking. The giant wardrobe comes to my advantage, as it blocks me from the view of the alphas. I make it to the cash register in a haste, turning around every two or three seconds to make sure they haven't followed me. I pay for the blanket and run out of there, terrified.
I run for a good five minutes, the ice cold air destroying my lungs, until I reach the bakery. I run inside. Jonathan greets me with a surprised expression as I barge into the door, the bell chiming. "Hello Sir, I-I forgot something" is all I can make out before I go to the back, out of breath. My lungs feel like they are being pinched by a thousand needles, after the temperature shock they just recieved. It is hard to breathe.
I think that I wasn't followed but it is better to lead them here then to my apartment. Goddess, please don't let them kill me. I wasn't trying to follow them, I just wanted to be warm.
I lock myself in the bathroom so no one can hear or see me. My breathing is irratic, I can't look straight. My vision begins to blurr as I clutch my chest... and then everything turns black.
~5 minutes later~
I am woken up by Jonathan knocking on the door. "You alright Aiden? Is everything okay?" I hear him say in his calming old mans voice. I heave myself off the floor as I realize, the right side of my forehead is bleeding a little. I must have banged my head somewhere when I fell.
"Y-yeah I'm alright, thanks." I try to sound as if nothing has happened.
"Alright, if you say so... I'll be locking up over lunchtime. You've got your key right?" he says not convinced by my answer but deciding not to question me further.
"Yes, I do. I'll lock up." I say still a bit out of breath.
"Okay kid, see you. Take care" with that, Jonathan walks away and out the door of the bakery.
I sigh. Great! Now, I've got a headache on top of all this.
But right now, I should be safe in here for a bit. The door's locked and hopefully, they didn't see me come in here. Hopefully, they didn't follow me at all...
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A/n: 2222 words, how about that:)
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