My name is Goro Akechi, and I have commited a "crime", it's called doing all the coccaine, and many other durg, as well as inhaling my bitch ass grandpa with a large gun, for eating my kit-kat.
My stupid ass MOM, some stupid woman named HJARU, sent me to therapy with a weird looking man (who was VERY hot, especially naked, but we'll get to that, later.)
I have always been a problem child. when I was two, I died, this caused MANY problems. But it was okay, because I was treated at the hospital for my death. My father was a man, a very rich man, like fuckin Jeff Bezos fuckin rich like damn his teeth made out of solid diamonds. It was very scary. I'm glad his scary teeth left me when I was -4, he was like "I am not here" and he was right, because he was not there.
I was a normal child as a child. I jacked off to IRyuji every day. Ryuji, the main star of IRyuji, was my uncle. His name was Ryuji, he was very weird. He looked like if a canary fucking died, and he smelled like iron boiled in my dad's weird teeth. He smelled VERY bad, maybe I had a nosebleed, because he was also VERY hot. Every time I saw him I was like "ho damn. that's Ryuji"
Next, there was my troubling great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfish Yusuke. He really liked fish, and he actually married one, which caused my uncle Philip. But the fish man is a story for another day. Yusuke liked to paint, mostly naked catgirls. It was very weird, because it was the 1400s, and those didn't exist.
During the Cold War, I met my lifelong friends Caroline and Justine. They were very weird, and often spent their time around a very bird looking old fuck who sold tons of fucking cocaine, that he harvested from his dandruff ridden skull.
My uncle Yosuke made plankton burger. He was always my least favortie spongeboob character. Yosuke's skin tasted like fresh Teddie fur. Which was very weird, because he was married to Kanji Tatsumi. Who was also married to Yu Narukami, who was ALSO married to Teddie, who was ALSO married to Dojima.
My family very normial
Lastly, there was my Grandpa. Kunikazu Okumura, he ran a burger spaceship. Don't know why, this story is set in 1922. I lived with my grandpa, until one day...
one day. everything changed
because one day on a day in a place at a time.
grandpa stole my kit kat.
ILLEGAL
IT MAKE BIG AKECHI ANGY
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
It was very philisophical for me. I do enjoy myself some
Existential Akechi.