I searched every head in the yard. Xiao Shun Zi... I kept muttering his name. Could it be him? I went to his chamber one day and saw him burning incense and offering food to Herald Lee's altar. He cried as he told me that his Si-Fu died under his hand. I could never imagine Ice Face could be so ruthless to order the closest subordinate of Herald Lee to murder him. Xiao Shun Zi... Now he had to pay the price for telling me the truth.
No. It couldn't be him. He was a useful tool to Ice Face now and he swore his loyalty to the emperor as the latter had saved his brother from imprisonment because of thievery. Plus, Ice Face needed him to spy among the princes. My eyes kept scanning the heads. I saw several female servants puking on the floor, and kneeling in front of the enormous cauldron was Xiao Shun Zi. I felt slightly relieved but a thought crossed my mind. I had a premonition that whoever in that cauldron must be someone close to me. My heart froze all of a sudden as if the Goddess of Snow was blowing her breaths directing to it.
"Who is it? Who is it?" I roared at a guard who was assigned by Ice Face to look after me.
"Please, Sister Ruo Xi, have mercy. I will die without a tomb if the emperor knows that you have witnessed this." He knelt on the floor and sobbed harder. "Please, go back."
He refused to tell me and I began to run amok. I tried to dash to the cauldron but the guard clutched on my feet, hampering me to maneuver one step further.
Tears gurgled out of my eyes as I stuttered, "Who is it? Please tell me."
"It... It is Yu Tan..." He wailed.
As if proving his words were correct, the cauldron's lid opened up, showing Yu Tan's charred face. I hollered. The sky above me spun and I fainted. When I opened my eyes, I saw Ice Face wiping away the sweat on my forehead. I yowled and pushed him away.
"Don't touch me! Go away! I hate you, you are a cold-blooded killer."
"There was a reason why I did that. I can explain everything to you when you recover. But now, you must take care of yourself and our offspring." I glared at him and he continued, "The Imperial Doctor checked your pulse just now. You are pregnant."
He laid me down in my bed and tried to wipe my tears but I pushed him away. "I hate you! I hate you!" I screamed. I must've gone insane. I screamed and screamed until I blacked out.
When I opened my eyes again, I saw Qiao Hui bending over me.
"Go away! Go. You can't stay here. This is not a place for a human."
"Second Miss, I am Qiao Hui. The emperor asked me to care for you from today onwards."
"I knew he sent you here. That's why I ask you to leave. This is a dangerous place."
"Please, Second Miss, take care of yourself." She sobbed. "I served your sister since I was a child. For me, she was like my elder sister and you my younger sister. I am here now. You can share with me every anguish in your heart. Let me face the predicaments with you."
We wept and hugged each other. Part of me was worried about Qiao Hui's safety, but part of me felt extremely relieved as I had a companion whom I could fully trust now. The next day, Xiao Shun Zi visited me. I knew he had something to give me, so I sent the maidservants away.
"How was Yu Tan that day?"
"It was a quick death. I am certain that she experienced the least pain."
I nodded. "I'm exhausted. Bring me to my bed."
"Yes, sister." As he helped me up, he slipped a letter into my hand.
I dismissed him afterward and unfolded the letter that was written in blood. Yu Tan told me that she was illiterate but now she could even write in rhyme and told me to ensure the safety of her family. How many secrets was she hiding from me? She used to tell me that when she was a child, she was roaming around the street begging for food and a man from the palace had given him a wool cloak and some coins.
She said she must reciprocate his good deed, and she felt happy when she was selected to be a maidservant in the palace. Was this the reason why she didn't want to leave the Forbidden City? Who could that someone be? What crime had she committed that had caused her to offer her life as a price? Silly girl... Yu Tan... Tears streamed on my face again when I had another visitor. It was Die Hard Thirteen. I rolled the letter and hid it in my sleeve.
As usual, he advised me to take care of my health.
"My heart is at extreme pain now," I said. "Can you teach me how to cease the suffering?"
"Perhaps only truth will make you feel better. But it might make you feel more terrible too."
"Tell me."
"Yu Tan is Ninth Brother's spy. She always revealed Fourth Brother's plans to him. She had even caused a dispute between Fourth Brother and his son, by teaching his son to tell his father that we should actually share the kingdom among ourselves, not rule it alone. Fourth Brother had warned her and attempted to release her out of the palace, but she refused."
I kept my thought to myself. So, Yu Tan's saviour was the Ninth Prince. She was sandwiched between the princes as she became their messenger. I believed that she didn't feel any better. I refrained my tears from falling when I said, "No matter what she did, she didn't deserve death."
Die Hard Thirteen tried to defend Ice Face but I told him that I was exhausted and I wanted to rest. I hugged my feet to my chest when I was alone. Why was his hatred so deep? So deep that it began to transform him into a monster. I could never talk at my whim and fancy now in front of him. I had to measure the weight of cause and result for each word I uttered to him. We could never lead our lives like how the couples outside of the Forbidden City did. Now, the only thing I wish for was a daughter, a daughter whom I could educate to be a woman of etiquette. I didn't want a son who would need to rival against his brothers to obtain the Dragon Seat.
Feeling suffocated by my thoughts, I asked Qiao Hui to stroll with me in the garden.
When we were resting in a pagoda, Gorolo Ming Hui approached us.
Qiao Hui said with furrowed brows; her ears kind of pricked up like an animal that had sensed danger. "Second Miss, I can send her away if you do not want to speak to her."
"It is fine. She helped me in persuading the Eighth Bei'Le to write the Divorce Letter to Ruo Lan. I still owe her a favour." Though I knew she did that for her own benefit.
Qiao Hui left us. I bowed to Gorolo Ming Hui and greeted her but she derided me.
"I did not dare to accept your salutation. Though you are still a servant, your position is much higher above me now. You are the emperor's favourite woman now."
I gritted my teeth. "What's the matter that has brought you here?"
"The Eighth Bei'Le and the other princes and I are living in ominous fear now. Even the tempo of how we breathe could be the reason for our death. We can see the knives of the executors hanging above us and we have to guess hopelessly when they would fall down and guillotine our heads. Actually, now I will feel more relieved if the knife falls down earlier, but I feel unfair."
She stepped closer, nailing me with a vicious glare. "I feel unfair because you used to be the woman of the Eighth Bei'Le. I despised you so much because he treated you well. Despite his love for you, you walked out from the Eighth Bei'Le's residence. It is unfair that you get to enjoy all the luxuries and we have to undergo ominous torment. We used to fight for the throne because someone had given us hope. That someone had cautioned the Eighth Bei'Le to beware of the current emperor and had mentioned a list of names of the ambassadors whom we should get rid of. Because of that someone's words, we fought but now we gained nothing but terror."
That someone? My heart burned. My brain became a sea with turbulent waves. She was talking about... me. I recalled telling the Eighth Bei'Le this information when I decided to end our romantic relationship, but that was before I knitted a romance relationship with Ice Face. It wouldn't be counted as a betrayal. But the important point wasn't how I judged the situation. Would Ice Face take this as treachery? I shivered.
What did Wicked Witch actually want from me now by reminding me about my blunt words?
Wicked Witch took a step forward, savouring my fear. "If we endure a hundred percent of pain, we must make sure that you will experience at least half of it."
My breaths became rapid. I tried to push her away for threatening me but my feet wavered. I fell on the floor; my stomach began to suffer a stinging pain. My baby...
Wicked Witch sneered and walked away, leaving me alone in my torment.
Edited by YvonneKindle