SEPTEMBER
I looked at the seat and realized I would have to sit squished between the two of them.
Brandon's hands were gripping the wheel tightly, his knuckles were almost white. I crawled in and sat up straight in the middle seat, trying to leave space between Brandon and I's bodies. But when Amy sat down, she pushed me into Brandon's body so she could fit without feeling smushed. I fell almost on his lap and my hands both fell on his thigh. "Sorry." I quickly let out in a shy voice.
I was never that shy, but being this close to Brandon made me blush. I was annoyed, and mad, but I was still shy.
I pressed down on his thigh to let myself up and sat squeezed in between the two. My whole body was pressed against Brandon's. Our thighs were touching directly against each other and he moved his leg so that our shins were touching too. I blushed harder when he pulled his right arm to rest by his side while pulling out of the parking lot, he brought it up so it laid behind me on the seat. His body was hot, and I felt tingles wherever we touched. I stared straight out the window the whole car ride.
I could feel his eyes on me, my cheeks, my body, whenever he looked off the rode. My heart was beating out of my chest and my stomach was filled with butterflies. I stopped breathing and sat completely still when I felt fingers touching a piece of my hair. At first I thought it was an accident, but a second later he ran his hand down the back of my head and rubbed some strands between his fingers, feeling it's softness.
I inhaled shakily, feeling his hand creep under my hair and rub his knuckles against my neck. His hand was rough and it felt good. It made me feel good. My body pressed against his, with thigh pressing into mine, while his hand rubbed against the back of my neck and played with my hair made me feel hot. I slowly looked at him and his eyes were already on me. His face was mad, but his eyes, they were dark and hiding something.
Why was he doing this? I thought he hated me.
He looked away when Amy turned on the radio and starting tapping her feet along to the song, oblivious to what he was doing to me. "Are you alright Blue? Your cheeks are red. It is a little hot in here." Amy pointed out. Right when she spoke, Brandon wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and squeezed lightly, telling me not to say the wrong thing. "I'm fine." I smiled at her. He stroked the side of my neck with his thumb and continued driving.
When we reached my house, he took his hand away like nothing happened. Amy opened the door and stepped out of the car. After I had gotten out, she went back in and started playing on her phone. I looked at Brandon through the window glass, and he was staring at me. My heart sunk realizing he wouldn't get out of the car.
I knew my face showed my disappointment, and I turned around and reached down under the mat for the key. As I was turning the lock, I heard a car door slam. My heart sped up as I heard heavy footsteps on the sidewalk. My hands shakily tried to pull the key out of the door but it wouldn't budge. Brandon then stood right behind me, his presence looming over me and casting a huge malicious shadow on the door. I jumped as his hands landed on my shoulders and the key finally came out of the door.
He pushed me inside and closed the door behind him. It was dark inside the house, and he roughly turned me around to face him. He menacingly leaned down and put his face in front of mine. "Are you trying to piss me off?" He asked angrily. "W-What?" I whispered confused. I was scared. I knew Brandon wouldn't hurt me, but what was he doing? "Don't act dumb." He slid his hands from my shoulders downwards and help my upper arms in a tight grip, it didn't hurt, it felt like fireworks on my skin where ever he touched.
"Brandon I-I don't know what you're talking about-." He got even more mad, I could see it in his eyes. They were as black as the night sky. "Don't fucking lie Blue." He interrupted me. "You stare at me with your little puppy dog eyes and walk around in your little outfits and expect me not to look and have these thoughts about you." He was almost yelling.
He looked so mad. I could only just stare at him, my brain couldn't function. Puppy dog eyes? Outfits? Was he saying he was attracted to me, I can't think properly with him being this close.
"Answer me." He demanded. I could just frantically shake my head, "I don't know! W-What are you saying!?" I could only respond. He furiously scoffed, he grabbed my cheeks with one hand and squished them together to get me to stop talking. "What do you want huh? Attention? You want me to stare at you and think about your body? Because that's what I've been fucking doing. God! I can't stop thinking about you." He fumed.
"Brandon I-" I tried to speak but my lips were squished. He stepped closer to me, I could feel his breath on my face. He smelled like cigarettes and beer, the good kind, not the disgusting kind. The kind that smelled like the woods and a warm fire. "All I do is think about you. You're a fucking brat. All you do is whine and and stare at me like you know what I'm thinking." He said meanly. He laughed darkly, "You probably want me to kiss you. Answer me. Have you even been kissed before?" He jerked my face towards his and brought my mouth closer to his own. All I could do was stare, oh God was he going to kiss me? I felt like I was about to pass out. I hadn't been kissed before.
I wanted him to so badly.
I started to nod, but he jerked my face again with his hand. "God you probably want me to do more than just kiss you. Huh? Is that what you want?"
Oh my god. I could not believe this was happening.
I did have a crush on him. I couldn't hate him. He was mean and his mouth was foul and rude, but as he continued speaking, it just made me feel hotter.
"You make me so fucking mad." He grit out before pulling my lips to his. I immediately closed my eyes, the sensation making me feel like I was in a dream. He slowly caressed his lips against mine before grabbing the back of my neck and jerked my body against his roughly. I held on to the sides of his shirt while he sucked my tongue into his mouth.
I didn't know what to do. I've never been kissed like this before. I timidly ran my tongue against his and kissed back slowly. He moaned roughly and picked me up with his hands under my armpits. He held me like this for a second, my body smashed against his while we were french kissing and my feet dangling above the ground. Brandon's hand under my arms quickly went under me and picked me up so I had my legs wrapped around his waist.
He was so tall, and I felt scared being that high. He squeezed my ass roughly and smacked it. I gasped and pulled away, a string of saliva formed in the space between our lips. I felt like I was falling when he turned around suddenly so I quickly grabbed his shoulders and wrapped my hands around his neck. I looked at him and he pulled my face back against his. We kissed sloppily, his tongue caressing mine, his hands rubbing my thighs.
I didn't know what to do, but I wanted him to feel how I was feeling. I slowly began rubbing his back and neck and he seemed to like it. He wrapped his arms around my back and squeezed me as hard as he could to his body. When we pulled apart, his cheeks were red as mine and his eyes were just as furious. "You're just a little girl." He spoke while staring into my eyes. I ran my tongue over his wet lips and went to kiss him again. He met my lips with his own angry kiss and took his hands off my ass to my thighs.
He pushed my legs down gently and I slid down his body. It was sensual and dirty. I could feel his chest slide against my breasts and I felt something hard against my stomach. He grabbed my neck and squeezed it so I looked up at him. "Is that what you wanted?" He asked condescendingly.
I didn't know what was the right response, so I nodded. I felt like I was high, maybe just off his touch. He moaned pressed me against his body again with his hand on my neck. He kissed my lips hard and wetly. His hand slid down my neck and touched my breasts through my sweater. He groaned and brought both hands to squeeze them. It felt good, and I couldn't do anything but leave my hands to my side. He brought his mouth down and kissed my neck. He licked and sucked and it turned me on.
If that is what being "turned on" felt like.
His hands slowly grabbed the hem of my sweater and pulled it up my stomach. I wanted him to take it off, but he just left it above my breasts. He squeezed them with both of his hands and rubbed them erotically. The kisses on my neck got harder with every touch he made to my body. I've never felt anything like this before. He hooked his finger in the middle of my bra and was about to drag it down but a car horn sounded outside, and we both jumped.
He stepped back and looked at me. I must have been a mess. My hair had to be every where. My sweater was pulled up over my breasts, my cheeks were red and my lips were wet. "Fuck." Was all Brandon said angrily before grabbing my face and squishing my cheeks together to kiss my lips again. "Get my number from your Dad's phone Blue." It was a demand. I nodded and smiled at him. He stared at my face, like he always did and with one last glance he left. The door slammed behind him as I was left alone in the dark house.
Did that actually just happen? I pulled my sweater down and I ran to my room. My heart seemed to beat even faster if that was possible. I threw myself on my bed and remembered how good his lips felt, and his hands all over my body. He didn't hate me at all. I had gotten it all wrong.