Hard to Love (Bucky Barnes fa...

By Hoe4BuckyBarnes

1.5M 32.4K 40.9K

A/N: first few chapters are a bit 'cringy' with spelling errors (I write this on my phone) but if you can get... More

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Authors Note...
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87 (FINALE)

Chapter 7

28.9K 566 486
By Hoe4BuckyBarnes

Updated 3/31/21

Everyone that was currently in the tower now sat at the big table in the commons room. A small packet of paper at each seat. I calmly walk into the room, only getting the attention of Nat and Bucky as I do so

I take a quick glance at Bucky before smiling and sitting next to Nat at the table. Wanda, Vision and Rhodey all appear at the end of the table as holograms since they're either out of the state or country on a mission. With the exception of Thor who's on a completely different planet

"So what's this all about?" I ask Natasha as I pick up the packet. She offers me a shrug, grabbing her own packet

'Rules and regulations' it read in bold letters

The automatic black out shades started to close in the room, blocking out the sun from the floor to ceiling windows. They only closed about three quarters of the way, allowing anything below our knees to still be illuminated. That way we can still see where we're going if one of us moves and so everyone's holograms to show better. Had the shades not been programmed to shut, Wanda, Vision and Rhodey would all be faint electric blue outlines

I furrow my brows in confusion at the title page as Tony's face appeared as a hologram at the center of the table

We already went through the rules months ago, why are we going through them again?

Maybe it's just a refresher? Like how jobs do every six months or something

"Alright folks, let's make this fast. The Mrs doesn't know I'm doing this. I've updated the mandated rules for the team. Tired of getting complaints about things around the compound. Flip through the papers and if you have any questions, ask now." Tony states to the team

"This couldn't wait til you got back?" Clint asks

"Yeah stop working and enjoy your honeymoon man." Rhodey pipes in

Tony tilts his head with a sigh. "I'll go enjoy it once we're done here. Now hurry up, I can only hide for so long."

A couple of us shake our heads tsk-ing the billionaire before turning our focus to the packets in our hands

As I'm flipping through mine I realize it's mostly the same list as last time. If you finish something, replace it. If you break something, notify someone and replace it. Clean up after yourselves. No 'parties' unless Tony is allowed there. Don't leave food out. Don't let food spoil. Stop putting coffee grounds down the drain. Report as often as you can on a mission. Turn in mission reports immediately. I pause as I get to one of the last pages, my heart sinking at the bold black words at the top

'No dating within the team'

"Uh, Tony? What's this about no dating within the team?" I pipe up, earning a few questionable looks from others

I didn't mean to, but the words forced themselves out of me

Natasha and Bruce look at one another before either looking at me or their papers. Both their auras shift to a somber one, raising questions of my own. I'll have to ask Nat if they had something to do with this new rule later

But there's no way, right?

"It's too much of a liability thing kid. You'd only be distracted and if shit hits the fan," he pauses, mulling over exactly what he wants to say. "We don't want things between everyone getting weird in the chance of a bad breakup or if a mission goes south." He turns his head to look in my direction

"Okay but what about Wanda and Vision?" I put the packet down. "You're just gonna split them up? And what about you? You're MARRIED to a team member."

At the mention of their names, both Wanda and Vision peer up from the desk they currently resided

Tony shoots me one of his signature stern dad looks. "They rely on each other. As for me, I was with Ms. Potts well before this team was even together. Why am I explaining myself to you?" He shakes his head as his question was directed mainly towards himself. "Better question, why are you of all people here pushing on this?" He furrows his brow at me, that same stern fatherly look in his hologram eyes

I take a daring glance at Bucky, meeting his gaze for a brief second and I could see the defeat behind those immaculate baby blues of his

Just our luck...

I turn to look back up at Tony who's waiting expectantly for an answer

Think Amelia, think

"Maybe I wanted to take Natasha out. Or maybe Sam." I hide a smirk looking at Nat who's quietly giggling at my remark. Sam gets a playful elbow from Clint and a side glare from Bucky

Awe, someone's already jealous. Cute

"Point is, it's a bad idea and I want everyone to follow the new rules, alright?" Tony glances around the room for confirmation. Everyone nods their heads, still reading through the packet

"Tony if I find out you're doing work I'm breaking that phone!" We faintly hear Pepper in the distance behind Tony. Clint, Rhodey and Natasha all smirk and shake their heads

"Looks like times up boss." Clint calls to the hologram

"Gotta go!" Tony quickly ends the call, leaving us

I grab my packet a little more harshly than expected and head out of the room which earned me a few confused looks but I ignore them

I finally get on amazingly good terms with the one person I've always wanted and then THIS happens?! Are you fucking kidding me?!

I feel my power surge through me, aching to be released. I have this terribly bad habit of using it when I'm angry. But in my opinion it's better to release the beast than let it fester and grow. So far it's worked out for me just fine

But Tony's right. I hate to say it. Dating within the team is an extremely bad idea. One I hadn't even considered. We'd constantly be worried and thinking of the others safety. Distracted. The enemy could use them as leverage. They would cloud our judgement out on the field

And, like Tony said, if a mission goes south I don't know if I'd ever be able to forgive myself if Bucky got hurt or loses his life because of me. I know damn well he'd be a bigger mess if it was the other way around too

There's also the fact that IF him and I were to date and someone ended things, one of us would be heartbroken, resenting the other. The team would divide on who supports who. There'd be petty conflict and unnecessary drama. As much as it kills me inside, I understand Tony's rule and have to follow it

Bye bye any future with Bucky...

The moment I step in my room and close the door, I let out a loud angry groan in frustration, throwing the packet onto my dresser. Things were FINALLY going good for me and Tony just shit all over it

I wonder how Buckys handling it.. surely he's just as upset as I am, right?

"Had I known you'd get so worked up over not being able to take me on a date, I would've asked sooner." Natashas lighthearted voice rings from the other side of my door a few minutes later. I exhale silently as to not draw an further suspicion or concern

"Guess we're both bad at timing things then huh." I try to sound lighthearted like her

In all honesty, if things had played out differently between her and I, I absolutely would go out with her. Only a fool wouldn't. She's absolutely stunning, smart, fierce, not to mention an overall badass as well

"I'd still be down for a free dinner with a friend." She chuckles, lightening my mood

"Who said I'd be paying?" I return with a laugh which we share. She doesn't respond right away so I'm sure she's trying to figure out what's wrong

"You sure you're alright in there? You left in quite the hurry." I can hear the concern in her voice and it pains me to hide things from her but now I really can't tell her the situation

I know if I do she'd probably be sympathetic but she'd also have to tell Tony and then I'd really never get to see Bucky again. We'd be lucky to be in the same room ever again if he knew what was happening. Or Tony would kill him on the spot

"Yeah, sorry. Just really tired and don't feel well." I lie, hoping she believes it

"I've got some meds if you want? Might help." I want to open the door and let her in but I know if I do, she'll read me like a book and I'll end up telling her everything

"I've got some, thank you though." I open my bedside table and rattle an ibuprofen bottle

"If you need anything I'm only a text away, alright?" She speaks in a motherly tone. It tugged at my heartstrings

She cares so much about me and here I am lying and hiding from her

"Thank you Nat, I'll let you know. Promise." I put the bottle away and close the table drawer. After a few minutes I sigh, flopping myself into my massive comforter, wishing it would drown me

Things are about to get a whole other level of interesting around here...

.

Sorry for a shorter chapter folks! Didn't want to continue writing and end up with a mile long chapter.
Again, hope you enjoyed it all the same :)

Oh! While you're here. How would y'all feel if I did a future chapter or two from a third person pov/Buckys pov? Yay? Nay? Lemme know!

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