The next morning, a clear Sunday in March, marked two weeks since Draco had last been high and he woke up with a feeling of confusion and fatigue, but also a little bit of pride.
He hadn't shared with Harry how gruelling it would be to fulfil his request and stay away from drugs when his body craved the high so badly, but he was doing his best. And two weeks was a little milestone for sure.
Draco sat up, ran his hands over his legs in Potter's red sheets, and yawned. It hadn't even been a question the night before as to whether they were sleeping together, it just seemed the most natural thing to do.
Though Draco realised, thinking back, that it might have been the first time they'd gone to bed together when they'd both been sober, and not purely aiming to have sex. He'd slept well at least, so that was one good thing. He wondered if Potter had plans for the day - the boy could be surprisingly good company even when Draco was sober. Not that he'd admit that.
Harry appeared to notice for himself that something was on Malfoy's mind as soon as he woke up and saw him there.
"Withdrawal." Malfoy answered his question before it was even asked. "Detoxing is really hard."
Harry nodded sympathetically. "Want a distraction?" he offered.
Malfoy raised an eyebrow suggestively. "Well, if you're offering..."
"Not like that, you sex pest! I meant breakfast! God, when are you ever not horny?"
"It's rare," Malfoy conceded.
He swung his legs out of bed and dressed quickly alongside Harry, ignoring the stares from the other Gryffindor boys, and then headed down to breakfast.
On the way, however, they were cornered by Blaise, who grabbed Harry with surprising urgency and pulled him aside.
"You go ahead, Draco," he said in a casual tone. "It's Potter I need to talk to..."
***
Harry sat down at the Gryffindor table with Ron and Hermione, dazed and slightly shaken by Blaise's warning. He saw Malfoy stiffen over at the Slytherin table with the realisation that Harry wasn't joining him - was he hurt? Or just irritated?
One glance at Blaise's firmly set lips made it clear he wasn't going to tell Malfoy what they'd just discussed, though, and Harry felt relieved. That was the last thing the other boy needed to hear, when it seemed he was doing so well.
He helped himself to hot food and juice from the centre of the table, batted away his friends' irritable questions about where he'd been the day before, and chewed thoughtfully.
"A good day," Malfoy had said to him yesterday by the lake. "I didn't think I had those any more."
The rawness and vulnerability of that confession made Harry feel like crying, and the sudden memory was enough for him to make up his mind and stride over the prettiest blonde at the Slytherin table.
"How about two good days, Malfoy?" he asked, his voice low but confident.
Malfoy turned to look up at him, something hopeful flickering in his grey eyes, a look that Harry hadn't seen there before. The Slytherins were staring too; it seemed the fascination with the pair of them hadn't faded much over time.
"I get another?" Malfoy asked quietly.
"Yeah," Harry nodded. "Meet me at the Lake when you're done. Usual place."
He liked the thought that they had a usual place, even though they'd only been there once together. Still, it was a place only the two of them knew, a place where only the two of them existed. Their usual place.
***
Malfoy didn't take long to join Harry in the meadow spot by the Lake.
"What are we doing today?" he asked.
Harry was amazed at the transformation in front of him. In the past days since he'd stopped getting high, Malfoy seemed more present and lucid, and far less cruel too. He seemed to accept Harry as, what? A friend, maybe? At the very least, a companion.
After the hell of the past few months, Harry would take the title of "companion" with more than approval.
"I thought maybe you might want a way to get a thrill without scrambling your brain with all the fucking molly you take," Harry said wryly. "Fancy a dip?"
Malfoy blinked at him. "I didn't bring swim stuff. I don't own swim stuff."
Harry smirked. "Neither did I. But it's not exactly like I haven't seen it before, is it?"
Without any further thought, he reached and tore his robes off with wilful abandon, then leapt into the Lake with a loud holler. Malfoy watched on in amazement.
"Gryffindors are the fucking weirdest creatures on earth," he whispered, mesmerised.
"Come in!" Harry gasped, spluttering a little as he bobbed around in the water. "It's lovely and warm!"
"Liar!" Malfoy called back with an eye roll. "It's March, Potter. I can see your bollocks turning blue."
"Don't be such a coward!" Harry laughed. "I should've known you'd wimp out. Come and get your non drug-related thrill. It's good for you!"
"Fuck you, Potter," Malfoy snapped, but he pulled his robes off his shoulders, and let them fall to the grass. Then he kicked off his shoes, unbuckled his belt, wriggled out of his trousers, and off came his shirt, socks, boxers, and finally his rings.
It seemed it was his turn to be unable to say no to the other boy.
Harry whooped ecstatically as the blonde landed in the freezing water beside him with a splash.
"Fuck ME, it's cold!" Malfoy yelled, and they both gasped with laughter, shaking with the shock of the cold.
"Feels good though, doesn't it?" Harry asked breathlessly. "Hope you're glad I suggested it."
Draco was surprised to find that it did feel good, and he was glad.
The blood was roaring through his body, his lungs were heaving in the fresh air, Potter was beside him laughing that gorgeous wide open-mouthed laugh of his, and Draco had never felt more alive. He couldn't believe the luxury of having two good days.
Adrenaline is a hell of a drug, he thought.
***
Harry replayed the conversation he'd had with Blaise that morning as he watched Malfoy in the water.
"How's Draco?" Blaise had begun, straight to the point.
"He's good," Harry had smiled back, and he really meant it. "He's been really great compared to how he was before. He's not been high in two weeks now, so-"
"This is what I feared," Blaise shook his head.
Harry frowned, confused. "This is a bad thing? I just told you, he's happy."
"This is just the momentary good bit before a fall," Blaise said quietly. "Don't get too attached to this version of him, Potter, alright?"
Harry shook his head. "No, he seems genuinely good right now and he's been like this for a while - I was with him all day yesterday, he said we had a good day-"
"That's great, Potter. but he's ill," Blaise sighed. "You have to remember that addiction is a disease. And he can't get really happy naturally any more, not the same way as you or I can. Why do you think he wants to have sex all the time?? Sure, he's a teenage boy, but he's a teenage boy with an ecstasy addiction. He's constantly craving serotonin."
Harry chewed his lip, worried now but trying not to believe the pessimism in the other boy's voice.
"The receptors in Draco's brain are damaged from months of constant serotonin stimulation," Blaise continued, "And it'll take a while, but they will come back. But you know Draco."
Harry nodded. "Yeah- what's your point? If they'll come back, it's just a matter of time, he'll be fine again in what- a couple months?"
"Could be years," Blaise told him firmly. "He could be permanently damaged. But either way even if it's fixable, Draco won't be able to wait that long- you know, long enough for his brain to make the happiness chemicals naturally again. It takes self control, which you know he has in buckets, but it also takes the desire to stop."
"And he doesn't have enough of that," Harry realised slowly, a sinking feeling growing in his stomach.
"Exactly," Blaise sighed. "His brain doesn't work that way. So in the meantime he'll give in and take the ecstasy again, because he can't help it. Because that's what addicts do. It's only a matter of time."
"I do sort of wonder if you're being unfair to him," Harry protested, but Blaise cut him off.
"No, I'm just being realistic," he said, and his time was resigned. Final. "He's done it before, OK? I've seen it. And you should know, it's ... it's always worse on a relapse. He can be quite dramatic."
He raised his hands defensively, as though Harry was about to argue with the statement.
"Look, Potter, I'm just warning you so you know to expect it. Alright?"
"He's strong," Harry insisted. "I believe in him."
"You shouldn't. He's going to hurt you."
***
When Harry woke up that night, it was to the familiar sound of pounding on the Gryffindor dorm door. He hadn't given the latest password to the Slytherins, blindly assuming Malfoy wouldn't need him like that again for a while at least.
But Pansy was there, and she sounded hysterical. And the space beside Harry where Draco had lain was long cold.
"It's Draco," Pansy gasped as soon as Harry opened the door to her. Real terror was ripped across her face. "He's in the fucking Lake!"
And Harry screamed.
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a/n: thank you for reading, please vote and comment, it means a lot to me!🤍
~ paradisedraco