(Noah's POV)
Watching Caroline come out of that room with tears streaming down her face had to be the most relieving sight I'd seen in a long time. It's been weeks since we escaped and she's been trying to kill us. Now, she looked, broken, yet at ease. It never felt more comforting until I felt her in my arms again, willingly hugging me. I don't know how Danielle did it, and I probably won't ever know, but I don't care. As long as she's here with us then that's all that matters.
We just finished dinner and Kristine finished catching Danielle and Caroline up to date about everything we've learned and what she's told us. At first, the girls were skeptical, like us, but once they listened, they accepted it. I think that is all we can do right now. We can't fight her because we barely know how to use our powers and she's much stronger than us, but she seems genuine and her story adds up, so I'm taking my chances if that means I can have food and shelter.
Now we're all sitting on the couch in the living room while a show plays in the background. Madelyn was sitting on the edge of the couch as she told a story. Caroline was a little standoffish. She was popping us some popcorn and finding us some candy that Kristine had offered to us. I think she's a little timid and feels guilty about what she did so she thinks we are going to be weird around her. It's taking everything in me not to scream that we love her and forgive her for what she did, but if I did that then she would just be even more insecure.
"Okay, here's the popcorn," Caroline said, coming over to us and plopping on the couch next to me. I smiled and took a giant handful as more people scooted closer and grabbed some too.
"Alright, everyone..." Kristine said, coming over to us. We all looked up at her and she smiled sweetly. "I'm going to go to bed. I just wanted to remind you all, especially Danielle and Caroline, to try not to use your powers much tonight. Your body needs to rest after how much power you both exerted today."
"Okay," Danielle said, smiling up at Kristine.
"And remember, tomorrow morning we have another training lesson." I glanced at Tyler and noticed he had a small frown on his lips and an annoyed glare. "Help yourselves to anything in the fridge. Goodnight."
"Goodnight!"
"Night!"
"See ya!"
"Goodnight, Kristine."
"Bye." We all said as she walked off to her bedroom. The door shut and we all went back to our murmurs.
"Do we ever get a day off?" Ethan asked, making us look over at him.
"Yeah, on Monday," Madelyn answered. Confusion immediately spread in my mind. I haven't been in touch with time in a while, other than this morning when I went on a run with Madelyn.
"Uh... what day..." Danielle started, sitting up from Ethan's arm. She was genuinely confused. "Is it?"
"It's Saturday," Jason answered, looking worried and confused. I looked around at everyone, seeing them trying to figure out how many days we'd missed. "Are you guys okay?"
"How long have we been on the island?" Tyler asked. I looked over at Jason and Madelyn, waiting for an answer that I know I don't want to hear.
"A month," Madelyn spoke up. I ran my fingers through my hair and raised my eyebrows, realizing how things have changed since we got on that plane a month ago.
"How long have we been... you know..." Danielle asked, not having to name what she and Caroline went through.
"A few weeks," Jason said again.
I looked over at Caroline and she looked like she was ready to burst into tears at any second. I hated this for her. She looked so embarrassed, and who could blame her? She threatened to kill all of her friends and she said hurtful things. She had a murderous heart and none of us could do anything about it until Danielle was okay. Thankfully Danielle was able to help.
"What do you think is going to happen now?" Madelyn asked, breaking this awkward silence between us. She got up from her seat and walked over to the fireplace, squatting so she was level with it.
"With what?" I asked. She looked at the logs in the fire and held out her palm, allowing a small flame to pop up.
"This." She said ever so vaguely as she held her hand over the logs. Instantly, the fire dropped down, setting all of the logs on fire.
"Well, Casper's going to find us eventually..." Tyler spoke up, making us look at him.
"But he can't come into this town." Danielle quickly corrected. I sat up straighter and tried to listen more closely.
"Oh, come on. Do you think he's not going to come here looking for us?" We know he's right. Casper is going to come looking for us whether we realize it or not and we have to be ready.
"No, I don't think he will. I think he knows his boundaries and if he tries to, he will be the one to lose." Danielle defended, placing her hands on her knees.
"Then you'll be the stupid one he takes." Danielle and I rolled our eyes, annoyed with Tyler's attitude. It's been hard on all of us, but most of us are keeping it together more than Tyler is.
"When he comes..." Madelyn said, standing up and walking over to Tyler. We drew our attention to her and she placed her hand on Tyler's shoulder.
"When?" Jason asked.
"Yes, when. I think Tyler is right. We shouldn't believe that he will follow the laws and stay on his side of the island. So when he comes, we will be ready." Madelyn said, making Tyler smile the slightest bit.
"Do you know how long it could take us to be ready, though? There has to be some intense training." Caroline added timidly.
"All of us were athletes. We know how hard we can push ourselves. We pick things up easily, we can do it." Ethan quickly stated. He sat up and wrapped his arm around Danielle's waist, assuring us that we would be okay.
"All we need to do is learn how to fight. From there, we'll have our athleticism and brains to guide us." I said. Everyone turned their heads to me and I looked up at them.
"Really? That's all we need?" Jason asked, not buying anything we were saying.
"We have to defeat Casper and Rebecca, who have whatever dark magic Kristine was talking about," Tyler added, making me quickly think. He pulled something out of his pocket, and he quickly interrupted my thoughts by lighting a cigarette.
"Come on, Tyler."
"Serious?"
"What the fuck, dude?" We all said at once. He looked around at us, confused.
"What?" He asked, the cigarette resting between his teeth.
"Don't be an ass." Danielle scolded, narrowing her eyes.
He rolled his eyes and continued to try and light it. Suddenly, the cigarette was pulled from his mouth and thrown into the lit fire, causing it to grow for a split second before slowly coming back down to a reasonable height. Confusion spread across his face and we all looked at Danielle.
"Danielle, don't use your powers." Ethan quickly scolded.
"Yeah, you were about to set this whole place on fire," Tyler muttered. She shrugged and looked back at me.
"Continue, Noah." She said, drawing the attention back toward me.
"Right... a-and we have Kristine, who was directly trained under Casper." I counteracted, making some of my friends nod in agreement.
"But how will we know she won't leave us once she sees Casper?" Ethan asked in a more hushed tone so Kristine didn't hear us.
"She wouldn't leave us. Would she?" Madelyn quickly asked, looking around at us for answers. I hate to admit it, but Ethan has a point. People have weaknesses and love is a huge weakness. Kristine has the giant possibility of falling under pressure even after all of the hurt he's caused her.
"She could. I know if I saw Danielle after months without her, I would fall at that moment." Ethan explained. Danielle blushed a little, but she looked down to try and hide it.
"Sweet," Tyler said sarcastically. Ethan rolled his eyes and Danielle looked at us again. "Anyways, if she does that, then we will know her weaknesses."
"She couldn't leave us..." Madelyn said, still stuck on the possibility of Kristine leaving us for a second.
"It's a possibility, Mads." Jason was quick to say. He sounded frustrated and looked annoyed with Tyler and Madelyn. I don't know what happened with them when they were alone, but it doesn't seem like it was good.
"We can't trust people around here, Maddie," I explained. "We have to keep our guard up, no matter how..." I gestured to the amazing apartment we were staying in, "amazing our situation is."
"She's an Aquarius, guys. She's trustworthy." She scoffed. Only Madelyn is obsessed with Zodiac signs, but none of us believe in the traits.
"Why? Because the stars said so?" Tyler mocked.
"Shut up, Tyler." Jason immediately defended her.
She looked at me with a sort of sad and disappointed look. I hated that this was life for us, but even if they did want to trust Kristine, we would be left to make sure they were safe. I don't mind protecting our friends. As guys of the group, that's what we have to do.
But normally it's us protecting them from idiot boys who are hitting on them. Not people with superpowers, trying to get revenge on us. None of this makes sense, but we were given ability and we have no idea how to use any of our gifts.
"Maybe if we find Kaeo, he can help..." Madelyn began. I watched Jason roll his eyes.
"Enough with the Kaeo thing." Jason groaned, making Madelyn roll her eyes too.
"Why are you so hung up on him?" Tyler also added with a narrowed annoyed look.
"He was in the cave too. We have no idea what happened to him." She quickly defended.
"Well, we do know that Casper has no interest in him," Caroline added.
"Unless he was there and we didn't know it." Tyler corrected.
"Either way, Kristine has been looking for him and she hasn't found him. He's probably fine and back to working on his stupid tour." Jason explained. Madelyn rolled her eyes again, annoyed with Jason. I think they need to work out some issues.
"Let's make a deal..." I offered, rubbing my sweaty hands on my legs.
"Okay." Caroline was quick to respond. Everyone looked at me, ready for whatever I was about to say.
"We use this training time to be serious about these powers. Learning how to use them, and not messing around..." I glared at Tyler, which instantly made him roll his eyes and reach for the popcorn in front of him. "On our downtime, we can mess around and practice what we learn. But we don't let our guard down once."
"I agree," Ethan said. Danielle and Caroline nodded in agreement and we looked over at Madelyn. She bit her lip and looked down at the ground.
"Okay..." She answered quietly. I nodded and looked up at Tyler.
"Sure, sounds good." He answered emotionless. We turned to Jason and he had frustration on his face. He looked tired but angry about something. He moved a toothpick around his mouth with his tongue.
"Yeah, whatever." He said, getting up and walking to the refrigerator. I sighed and laid back on the couch, satisfied that I could relax after we just planned everything.
As much as I don't want to trust anyone other than my friends, I will say, it's nice to have a place to stay, eat, and stay safe for a while. It's been a long time since we've all been able to be together and just have a stay-in movie night.
"Why aren't we more concerned with how we can get off the island?" Caroline asked quietly. She didn't want us to think she was back on her murder spree, but she was right. We had to get off this island.
"We need to be alert for Casper." Tyler immediately said in a dark tone.
"But in the meantime, we will find a boat to get us out of here." I quickly cut in.
"We just need to make it to that island with the airport. It was what? Thirty minutes away?" Ethan mentioned, looking at me for confirmation. I nodded and turned to Caroline.
"We should be able to escape and by the time Casper realizes we're off the island, it will be too late. We will be gone. We just have to time it." I continued. She nodded, looking worried. I looked around at everyone else and they had a mix of worried and dark looks.
"Are we gonna watch this... or..." Danielle asked, reaching for the remote to break the awkwardness.
"Put it on," Tyler said, scooting over so Madelyn could sit next to him. Danielle turned up the sound and started the movie over so we could watch it.
"Jason, what are you doing?" Caroline asked, making all of us turn our heads to see him walking up the stairs.
"I'm tired." He shortly answered.
"Come watch this with us." Caroline beckoned. He gripped his water bottle, almost conflicting with himself about whether he should come to sit with us.
"Yeah, come on." Danielle encouraged, patting the seat next to her. He sighed and walked over to the couch, allowing us to smile. It felt nice knowing we were all safe and together. No one was under any sort of chemical that makes them evil. We were laying with each other, watching a classic movie, and eating popcorn. On a creepy island...
"Hey, grab me the bowl," Tyler said to Madelyn, instantly receiving shushes from Danielle, Ethan, and Caroline. Jason and I chuckled while Tyler rolled his eyes and took the bowl from Madelyn.
I think as we watched the movie, we completely forgot about what was happening around us. We were laughing at the funny parts and it was stress-free. It was back to the good old days when we were sitting in Caroline's living room watching a movie. Danielle and Ethan were always cuddled up together. Tyler and Madelyn used to be close, but something was a little different between them. They seemed flirty, but not as much as they used to be. I even saw Tyler glaring at Danielle and Ethan. Normally, Caroline and I were sharing a blanket, but tonight we were just sitting closer than normal. Jason normally passes out within the first fifteen minutes. It's good to see he kept that tradition because he was passed out, snoring and all.
The movie finally finished and by the end, Jason, Danielle, Madelyn, and Ethan were all sleeping. Caroline, Tyler, and I finished the movie, like normal, and thought about how we were going to get everyone upstairs.
"We should just wake them up. There's no way I'm carrying Jason all the way upstairs." Tyler mouthed to me, making Caroline and I chuckle.
"Just carry Madelyn up," Caroline said, standing up and fixing her shirt. I stood up too and we looked over at Tyler, who gestured to Madelyn. She was pressed up against him, sleeping peacefully, but the way she was laying made it nearly impossible for Tyler to pick her up.
"Thanks, guys." He said sarcastically as he carefully maneuvered his hands around the sleeping girl. I walked over to Ethan and slapped his propped-up arm that was holding his head up.
"Ethan, get up," I grumbled, my voice becoming scratchy from the tiredness inside of me. He moved slightly before opening his eyes and rubbing them, looking around like he was lost.
"I'm up." He said, his voice barely audible.
"Jason... come on, bud." Caroline gently spoke to Jason. He flinched a little but squinted as Caroline gently pulled him up and helped him stand to his feet.
"What time is it?" Ethan asked, rubbing his eyes again. I squinted as I looked over at the microwave to look at the time.
"Twelve thirty." I read, making him sigh. I turned Tyler and saw he was able to get free and all he had to do was pick up Madelyn. In that time I took to look at Tyler, Ethan was up and picking up Danielle with ease.
"Mm... I wanna go to bed." Jason mumbled as Caroline guided him to the stairs.
"Yes, yes. Come on." She played along, smiling back at me. I gave a small chuckle, but that chuckle quickly changed into snickering as Jason ran straight into the wall.
"Oh, shit." Tyler laughed, louder than Ethan and me. We quickly shushed him, in fear that he would wake up the girls, but we continued laughing. Jason held up his middle finger as Caroline guided him up the stairs to his room.
We followed the two up the stairs to our bedrooms after I cleaned up the living room a little. Once I got to the top, Ethan was putting Danielle in her room, Tyler was putting Madelyn in her room, and Caroline was just coming out of Jason's room. She looked over at me and I dug my hands into my pockets awkwardly.
"Goodnight, Caroline..." I filled the silence with a small whisper. She smiled a little and walked to her door, gesturing for me to follow her. I looked around, making sure no one was looking, and I followed her into her room.
She shut the door behind us and turned on the lights, quickly dimming them from how bright they were. I looked at her while she walked over to her closet and picked out some pajamas to wear.
"Is there something you need?" I asked, scratching my head from this awkward moment.
"I just want a friend right now." She answered honestly. I gave a small smile and walked over to her bed, sitting down on the edge of it while she walked into her bathroom to change.
"Are you coming on a run with Madelyn and me tomorrow morning?" I asked, playing with my hands until she comes back out.
"Probably not. I would if I went to bed early." She answered, coming out of the bathroom. I looked up at her and noticed her stripped silky pajamas. She looked so pretty right now and she was just in her pajamas.
"Caroline... will you be honest with me for a second?" I asked as she walked in front of me.
"Sure." She answered, brushing her hair with a hairbrush. I hated that I was about to be that guy who asks this question, but I had to make sure she was okay.
"Are you scared of us?" I asked, catching her off guard. Her eyebrows furrowed together and she hesitated while brushing her hair, pondering the question.
"What do you mean?" She asked, knowing fully what I was talking about. I sighed and stood on my feet, creating and few inches of a gap between us.
"I mean, are you scared about what we think about you now that you're back to your 'good, less murderous, form'?" I asked bluntly. She swallowed and looked up at me, not brushing her hair anymore.
"Scared? No. Worried? Yes." I nodded and rubbed my jaw with my index finger.
"Caroline, we're your friends. We know it wasn't you. We forgive you." I tried assuring her, but she rolled her eyes and walked over to her desk.
"You and Danielle may forgive me, but you can't speak for everyone else. I tried to kill every single person in this apartment and I had no remorse. I wanted to kill, Noah." She explained with an intensity I'd never seen from her before.
"You're right. It's wrong, but how were you supposed to know? We know it wasn't you." She sighed and shook her head, not listening to any word I'm saying.
"It was me, Noah. I know what I was thinking, and I wanted revenge for what happened to my brother. I just had the will to do it..." She looked up at me after thinking over her words. "All I know is that they were being standoffish and didn't want anything to do with me. I messed up and I didn't want these stupid powers in the first place." She started to slam things around her desk and there was a small shake in her voice, signaling she was about to cry.
"Hey, hey, you're okay." I instantly walked over to her and placed my hand on her back. She took that opportunity to pull me into a hug. Her hug was tight and I didn't waste time hugging her back.
"I'm sorry, Noah. I didn't mean what I said to you." I placed my hand on the back of her head, wishing I could take her broken pieces and put them back together, but that's something she had to do on her own.
"I know. I forgive you. And so will everyone else." She pulled her head back and I watched as a tear fell down her cheek slowly. "You have to face your problems and bite them in the ass. It's going to suck, but you can't let this weigh on your heart." She blinked and more tears fell down her cheek. I wanted to wipe them off of her cheeks, but she was quick to bury her head into my chest again. I looked down at her fragile body.
"I just don't think they will forgive me." She said into my chest.
"They're your best friends, Caroline. Of course, they will. Do you remember when you broke Ethan's bike and he swore to never talk to you again?" I asked, remembering the exact moment it happened.
Caroline took the bike and tried to ride down the hill at the park, but she crashed into a tree and cut the tire on a branch. When she crashed, the bike fell apart and Ethan was so upset. He said that he hated her and he would never be her friend again. An hour later, she brought him a pizza she made, and he bought her ice cream from the ice cream truck because he felt bad that her knee got scratched up. We were eight.
"Yes..." She chuckled slightly.
"He forgave you when you made him a pizza. I think they'll be easy to convince." I said in slight humor. She chuckled again and adjusted her weight onto her left foot. A comfortable silence fell between us. We were just standing in her room, arms wrapped around each other.
"I just want to go home..." She broke the silence.
"Me too..." I agreed, hugging her tighter. I wanted nothing more than to protect her. I felt horrible for her. We were sucked into this terrible circumstance and we had no idea how to get out of it. "But, we'll get you home."
She looked up at me and I finally got the chance to wipe the tears from under her eyes. She looked at my lips and back up at my eyes. I did the same. Her big blue eyes were staring deep into my eyes. Her swollen pink plump lips were drawing a desire in me to kiss them.
I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to show her how much I cared for her, and this is my chance. If she rejects me, then fine, but I don't want to pass this up. I leaned forward, cupping my hands on her cheeks. She looked up at me, wide-eyed, and slowly started to lean into my lips.
I shut my eyes and after what felt like an eternity of waiting, our lips connected. Her soft lips moved around mine, instantly creating warmth in my body. My heart raced faster than normal and butterflies, for the first time, in my stomach.
This was amazing.
I pulled back a little, reassuring myself that this was indeed what she wanted. When I pulled back, she leaned forward like she was expecting us to kiss longer than we were. I smiled down at her and she opened her eyes. I wish I could sit in here with her, but I know she needed rest. I needed rest and we can figure out what this was between us. I didn't want other people to be suspicious of us, even though I wanted to stay here against my better judgment.
"Goodnight, Caroline," I whispered. She licked her lips and rested back on her heels after being on her tiptoes.
"Goodnight, Noah." She whispered back. I leaned down and gave her a small last peck on the lips before letting go of her cheeks. I slowly backed away from her and walked to her door, feeling a sense of victory over myself.
Not only did I comfort her, but I also kissed the woman I'd liked since seventh grade. I don't know what this means for us, but I can enjoy it for a little while. I walked out of her room, a smile on my lips.
As I shut the door, Tyler was shutting Madelyn's door. We both looked up at each other and once he realized what door I came from, his tired look changed to sadness and indignation. I nodded toward him as a sign of goodnight and walked off to my room.
I just kissed Caroline and it was the best feeling in the world.
We weren't worried about powers, other people, or even the bad things that could happen between us. We were just in the moment and her perfect lips connected with mine. She's so... perfect. That was so perfect.
(Tyler's POV)
Carrying Madelyn up the stairs to her room was weird. I'd carried her before we came onto the island, but it felt like I'd gotten stronger. Watching Caroline and Noah walk with each other was annoying. I feel like since we've been on the island, she's been distancing herself from me. Almost like I don't matter to her anymore. She's been hung on Noah, and he's been drooling over her.
Madelyn is my best friend. I love her just as much as I love Danielle. Maybe I do flirt with her, but I will never like her more than a friend. Not only that but Jason's been in love with her for years. Danielle is someone I've liked before, and she's a very special girl. I didn't want to overstep my boundaries and steal the girl Ethan's been in love with for a long time. But what Rebecca said a little while back terrifies the fuck out of me.
"Two people love one person, yet one person loves another. Like Tyler. He is in love with one of these lucky ladies, yet she can't give a damn about him."
"But if I was still in the group, Ethan and I would be together, Danielle and Tyler would be together, Noah and Caroline would be together, leaving only you and Madelyn."
There's no way that Ethan and Rebecca would be together. I know they had something happen between us, but Ethan's always had a thing for Danielle. And maybe I did too... but she's with Ethan and I can only protect her. Caroline has zero interest in me, and Madelyn... She should be with Jason, but she's not.
I walked into Madelyn's room and placed her gently on the bed, pulling the covers over her body. I watched as she moved a little, making me freeze. I hoped that she would fall right back asleep, but unfortunately, her eyes fluttered open.
"Did you bring me in here or are you just watching over me creepily?" She asked in a raspy voice. I chuckled and shook my head.
"No, I brought you in here." She smiled slightly and I pressed my lips together, not sure what to say. "Have a goodnight..."
"Tyler..." She said, stopping me before I could walk out. "What are we going to do?"
"About what?" I asked, looking back at her. She was now sitting up straight and her hair was fallen on her shoulders.
"We're going to have to fight our old best friend and maybe kill her soon. How are we going to look at her and hurt her?" She asked. I walked over to her and dug my hands into my pocket.
"You girls won't be. You couldn't live with yourself if you hurt her. Caroline wants to hurt her as Rebecca hurt her, but we know that she won't be able to. And Danielle, that's a joke. Danielle doesn't have it in her unless she's at her breaking point..." I explained. She looked up at me like she was trying to understand the point I was getting at. "It may be a little harder for Ethan, but it's going to be easier for us guys to do it."
"Have you already talked to each other about this?" She asked, now understanding what I'm trying to tell her.
"Not all of us, but Noah and I have..." I ran my fingers through my hair, not feeling particularly excited about it either. I mean, this was our fucking best friend, and now there's a chance we're going to leave this island with heavy guilt. If we leave the island that is.
"You're going to kill her?" She swallowed harshly and I sighed, sitting down on the edge of her bed.
"That's going to be our last resort, but if that's the only way to save ourselves... then so be it." She looked at me with wide eyes and I pressed my lips together.
"We're just kids... how did we wind up like this?" She shook her head in utter shock and I shrugged.
"Maybe we weren't meant to be adults with normal lives. Maybe we were supposed to wind up here and die for all of the wrongs we've done." I suggested, looking down at the bed. She sighed and placed her hand on my hand, making me look up at her.
"That's not true. We all need to get out of here and have normal lives. You out of all of us deserve someone to be with... Someone who accepts you... loves you... understands where you come from..." Her voice got lower as she reached the end of her sentence. I looked up at her, wondering if she was referring to herself or any of the other two girls.
"I don't deserve it," I whispered back, not understanding what she was getting at.
"Sure you do..." She was quick to say. She pushed my hair back, making me instantly gain chills at her touch. "You're too busy chasing temporary girls to notice the other people who care for you."
My lips parted as I stared into her big brown eyes. She was talking about herself now. I know she was. Maybe Danielle had small care for me when she wasn't dating Ethan, but she's referring to herself.
"Yeah, well, I do notice the other people who are chasing the people who care for me." She looked into my eyes, a little taken back at my statement. I know I'm pushing her away, but Jason has been in love with her.
She can't like me, I'm too damaged. She doesn't understand the extent of it all. She doesn't see how perfect she and Jason are. He's normal, he's got a good life. He's got things going for him. I don't. She needs someone perfect for her. Along with Danielle and Caroline.
"Jason?" She asked, her eyebrows pulling together. "We've already talked about this. I'm not in love with him."
"Maybe you should be." I was quick to say. She pulled her hands away from my hair and looked at me with confusion.
"He risked all of your lives just to save me. I can't be with someone so selfish that he can't even save his best friends." She was quick to defend. I could tell she was starting to get upset, but I couldn't let her walk around without realizing that she was indeed in love with him too.
I was meant to be by myself. Just like my dad. My mom left him for probably a good reason. No one is going to care for me like Danielle cares for Ethan or Caroline cares for Noah. It's just not in the cards for me. I'm stuck with a stupid life that I can't control. The only thing I can control is my powers.
"Bullshit, Madelyn," I said almost tiredly. She was confused and I licked my lips. "Don't you remember the night we found out we had powers?"
"Yes, but what does that--" She started.
"Ethan did everything he could to protect Danielle, even saving her over you and Caroline. Without Jason, Noah, and I, you and Caroline would be goners. But Ethan... he ran the opposite way with Danielle so he could protect her." I explained. She opened her mouth to speak, but I was quick to speak first. "Noah was the one who was mainly protecting Caroline. Jason was the main person protecting you. I was bouncing between both of you. So yes, he was acting selfishly, but all of us will act selfishly for the people we care about."
"I understand..." She trailed, looking up at me with big sad eyes.
"You can't be mad at him for doing what everyone did." I quickly said.
"Why are you defending him so much?" She asked, her voice starting to rise.
"I'm just saying that you should--"
"I know you'll never choose me, but have you ever thought that I may care about you more than you think? Tyler, I know you're hurting, we all are, but I want to be there for you..." She tried to explain, tears slowly coming to her eyes.
But as the tears brimmed her eyes, I could feel the heat radiating off of her body. Her powers were starting to take over because she was emotional. She wanted me to know that she was here for me, but I can't damage her.
"Maddie, I'm bad for you." I tried to explain.
"No, you just think you are. I know this hurts Jason, that I'm not running after him like he wants me to, but I can't help it when you're the one flirting with me." I watched as her veins had a small fire glow under her skin. I knew she had to calm down.
"Hey, calm down," I said, wanting to stop having this conversation. "I know I'm flirting, okay."
"What makes you think you can flirt with me when you love someone else?" She asked, almost shouting.
"I don't love anyone..." I defended. A tear fell down her cheek and I watched as her eyes became brighter.
"Bullshit, Tyler, I see you!" She started shouting. This was making my heart hurt, but I didn't know. I was getting frustrated. I can't give her the answer that she wants. "What do you feel?"
"I don't know," I answered quietly.
"You don't know? How do you not know?" She asked, her voice lowering, but it was trembling.
Sitting next to her, I could feel the excruciating heat radiating off of her. The room was starting to become hot and I know she was going to explode any second. I had no idea what to do to calm her down, except for one thing. This was the wrong time I know. This is going to hurt us both, I know, but I'm trying to protect her from losing control.
I pushed my lips into hers, trying to use my powers to cool her down. Her plump lips were hot and she placed her hand on my shoulder, about to push me away. My eyes were open and so were hers. I was desperately trying to calm her down.
Soon enough, her eyes shut, allowing me to do the same. I felt her lips slowly cool down as our lips molded together perfectly. I haven't kissed anyone since prom at the after-party, it was weird to be kissing someone. On top of that, it was Madelyn.
Madelyn was the perfect tomboy that would wrestle all of us to the ground if she wanted to. She rarely did her makeup, and rarely did her hair. She always wore dirty overalls and played in the mud or tackle football with us when she was ten. Caroline and Danielle would stick to their things, but Madelyn loved sports. I never pictured her as someone who would be confused about love. She always knew what she wanted and she didn't care much about boyfriends. Now, her lips were on mine and it felt right and wrong.
There were no sparks and fireworks in me, but there were guilt and confusion. My heart was heavy from all sorts of emotions. I don't know what's happening between us. I don't know what's happening between Noah and Caroline right now, but all I do know is that her soft lips were against mine. And her lips weren't the ones I wanted.
She pulled away, leaving a few inches between us. My eyes opened and she looked up at me. Her skin wasn't hot anymore, but her eyes still had tears on her waterline.
"I'm flirting with you because I don't know how I feel... I don't feel very much because it's hard to let people in." I tried to explain to her. She pressed her lips together and nodded slowly.
"Thank you for calming me down, but until you're ready to tell me how you feel, please don't lead me on." She pulled away, looking down at my lips and then back at my eyes. I looked at her, frustrated but sad. This was not how I wanted this to be. I wanted her to be asleep so I could leave without her seeing me. Love fucking sucks, but what is worse is not knowing who you love. I don't know if I believe in love.
I slowly stood up and walked to the door. I don't want to look back at her. I'm not going to look back at her. If I do, then I will feel worse. Out of instinct, I reached the door and slowly turned around. She was turned on her side, her back facing me and I pressed my lips together. I opened the door and walked into the warmly lit hallway, shutting the door behind me. I looked up and noticed Noah was coming out of a room. We made eye contact and I realized what room he was coming out of.
I pressed my lips together harder, trying to hide the fact that I knew what he did in there. He came out with a smile on his face and I can tell something happened between them. He nodded towards me as a sign of goodnight and walked off to his room. I wasn't jealous of them being together. I was jealous that everyone had someone. I wanted someone. I don't know what came over me, but once his door closed, I took that opportunity to walk into Caroline's room. I don't know why I'm in her room. I don't know why I'm not going to my room. I don't know what I'm going to gain from this, but now I'm in here. She looked over at me, confused about why I was in her room, looking the way I did.
"What's up, Tyler?" She asked with a giant grin on her lips.
"Don't do it..." I said, not trying to cause problems.
"Do what?" She asked, pushing the hair behind her ear.
Just leave it, Tyler.
"Are you two..." I tried to form my sentences, but she seemed to understand what I was trying to say. Her smile slowly started to fade and her arms dropped to her sides.
"You saw Noah coming out of my room, didn't you?" She asked, looking a little guilty. I swallowed the lump in my throat and stared at her. I couldn't speak, it felt like my mouth was dry now. "We're not dating. Nothing happened between us..." I felt a rush of relief flood over me, but I was still confused. My skin was burning and I felt some sweat on my temples. I wanted someone. Not Caroline or Madelyn.
"Well, why was he in your room?" She chuckled like I'm being ridiculous. Maybe I was being invasive, but I needed some clarity.
"Tyler, maybe you should go to your room and--"
"Tell me..." I interrupted, making her raise her eyebrow. "Please." I was her best friend. She was my best friend. I needed honesty.
"We were just talking and we..." She hesitated, making my heart start to race. "We, uh, kissed."
My heart dropped as I looked at her. It felt like it was breaking into pieces and I don't know what to do now. I've got Madelyn telling me that she cares for me, but I'm in love with someone else, but it wasn't Caroline. I've got Caroline telling me that she's kissed Noah and I feel like an idiot.
"But it's nothing to be upset about..." She was quick to defend.
"Caroline, I don't understand feelings. You know it's hard for me to let people in, but something in me fucking hurts, and I need you to tell me how you feel about Noah right now..." I said, frustration taking over me.
"It's nothing--"
"Caroline, please. I need to stop chasing everyone. I need to understand what I'm feeling."
There was a part of me that just wanted to hear that she didn't want me, that she wanted Noah. That way I can move on with my life. I can leave her be too. Another part of me can't let anyone go. I like the playful flirting and I thought that's all that was happening between me and Madelyn.
"Tyler, you're not going to understand what you're feeling no matter what my answer. I don't think you know what to feel. You're trying to find a girl too, but something is holding you back." She explained in a delicate voice.
"You," I admitted, but that was a lie. She didn't seem surprised like I pictured her being, instead, she looked at me with a sad look.
"No. It's not me. I don't want to be the one to tell you this..." I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my composure. "I don't think you understand what it feels like to like someone..." My eyebrows pulled together in confusion.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I don't think you know what love is." She said. Her voice was soft and broke into a whisper like she was about to start crying.
I looked at her, utterly shocked. She's right, I don't, but I never thought I'd hear those words. I didn't think they would hurt me like this. I used to not care about love, but hearing it from Caroline physically hurts. I'm fucking hurting and I don't know why or how to fix it. She sighed and placed her hands on her cheeks.
"I didn't want to tell you but I..." She continued to talk, but I couldn't listen.
So instead, I walked up to her while she rambled about why she didn't want to tell me. I had to feel something tonight other than what I'm feeling. I'm done being tossed around and not understanding. I'm done being alone. I cupped her cheeks and pulled her into a kiss. Immediately, I was ignited with an overwhelming sense of lust. I was lusting after her lips on mine and I didn't want them to separate, until she pushed my shoulder, separating our lips.
"What are you doing?" She asked, stepping back. She pushed me away, but let Noah kiss her. She's always telling me to express my emotions, but when I do it's wrong. "Why did you kiss me?"
"Are you fucking kidding? Caroline, I'm trying to feel. I'm trying to know how you feel about me!"
"Well, right now I don't want you to kiss me!" She fired back.
"But you'll let Noah kiss you?" I shouted back. She stood frozen, almost guilty yet angry.
"This is completely different."
"Is it, though? You know what? I got my fucking answer. So much for you always being there for me, right?" I scoffed and stomped toward the door, hating myself at the moment. Why did I come in here? I don't like Caroline like that.
"Tyler, wait!" I flipped her off and opened her bedroom door and slammed it on my way out, hearing something crash on the opposite side of the door.
I sighed, needing to cool down. My skin was burning and I was hot. I felt like I was on fire. I looked up and saw Danielle and Ethan looking at me from Danielle's room. Her eyes looked broken for me and Ethan looked confused. They were listening.
"The fuck you looking at?" I muttered, making Danielle flinch. I stomped off to my room as she ran toward me.
"Tyler--" She said as I reached my door. I ignored her and walked into my room, slamming the door behind me. A picture frame fell off the wall while the other frames rocked back and forth. Seeing the broken glass set me off. I wanted to break everything in my sight. I walked over to the dresser, stopping before I could destroy it.
I saw something I thought I'd lost. It was the glass whale. The one that reminded me of my mother. I picked it up, unsure of how it could've gotten here. There's no way anyone knew I had it unless Rebecca took it out of my pocket. I tossed it on the bed, not wanting to destroy it. It reminded me of my mother, but that's what made me even angrier.
I punched the dresser, the table, and the wall. Anything I could get my hands on, I punched. I broke things and all I could feel was a rage inside of me. I couldn't see clearly or think. I used my powers and shot water at the posters around the room, knocking them down and breaking them.
"Tyler, stop!" I heard Danielle's voice say. I was almost certain I locked the door behind me.
"Enough, man." Ethan's voice quickly followed. I turned and amid rage, I felt two warm soft hands on my cheeks.
I looked down and my blurred vision started to clear as I saw Danielle in front of my face, looking up at me. She had fear in her eyes, but she had a brave face. I was calm just by looking into her green eyes.
"Sit down... you need to calm down..." She begged in desperation. So... I listened. I hate this. I wanna go home.