I pulled her close and crashed my lips onto hers, letting her invade my mouth and my personal space. My heart pounded excruciatingly loudly, I was sure it was playing out in stereo around the room but feeling the magnetic pull of her lips and the electricity running through us as we interlinked our tongues made everything a little bit calmer.
We made our way to the bed, not breaking the delicious contact between us except for when she fell down onto the mattress and I didn't follow her.
What if you're no good at this and disappoint her?
Have you ever given a girl an orgasm before?
You've been with so many girls, she'll expect some level of expertise.
"You know... I've never done this before, right?" I warned her. I suddenly felt embarrassed.
She lay before me, completely naked and waiting and I choose this moment to doubt my performance. She nodded her head thinking I meant the full on intimacy.
"No, I mean ... it's not just about the lack of clothes, it's about, like, proper sex. I've never done it in a bed, I've never done it lying down, I've never been interested in the girl I've been doing it with." I stuttered out nervously.
"We'll learn together." She said calmly.
I looked down at her body one last time before I fully committed to joining her in the bed. She was hidden under a thin white sheet but I knew what was waiting for me underneath.
Don't freak out Liam. Don't freak out.
"This is the closest I will have ever got with anyone ... I just don't wanna freak out."
I just wanted her to know everything. I wanted her to be sure she wanted to do this with me. I could potentially mess up her first time. I might not be any good. I might run away halfway through. I might not enjoy it.
"You can back out at anytime." She reassured.
I looked down at the bed, the scariest place in the word at the moment and I've been in my fair share of scary places. I needed to take my time with this, ease into it gently.
"No I want to do it, but can we just lie together for a while?" She pulled back the sheet and patted the bed gently for me to get inside.
I climbed in the bed beside her trying to settle my racing heart.
You are more than ready.
It's not the same as him.
You want to do this.
You trust her.
You love her.
It will be okay.
She leaned over really slowly so I could watch her hands approach me and then caressed my cheek and planted a soft kiss to my lips. This girl, she is so patient with me and caring, she's all I ever want.
I reciprocated the kiss, keeping her glued to my lips in the most passionate way. It was slow and needing as we rubbed up against each other intimately. She tasted like safety, comfort and home. I let my hands travel under the sheets, feeling the smoothness of her skin up the length of her stomach and halting my hands on the sweet bulge of her breast.
I couldn't shake the feeling that I was doing something wrong, what if she didn't really want it?
My lower body convulsed as my desire for her grew more and more intense and without breaking our kiss I moved my body to be resting just above hers. Touching her was easier than being touched by her. So I plucked up enough courage to let my hand wander down her body, exploring every inch of her until I found the sweet spot between her legs.
She teased my lip between her teeth and it radiated electrical currents all the way to my dick, I couldn't stop a sexual moan echo out from the back of my throat. My fingers circled her slowly, applying a decent amount of pressure to the small pink button that made her back arch and her toes curl.
I thought she was beautiful before but right now she was a Goddess. Her eyelids were closed over letting the delicate flutter of her eyelashes rest on the natural blush of her cheeks. Her eyebrows screwed up with the pleasure of my fingers and bit down on her lip to stifle her increased breathing.
I left feather soft kisses down the length of her neck and her body tensed deliciously under my fingers with each one. She was so reactive to what I was I doing, clearly enjoying it. She arched her back higher and brushed her chest with mine. I let a gasp escape from my lips, not expecting her touch but I pushed through my doubts and concentrated on how gorgeous she looked right now completely consumed in the pleasure I was giving her.
She grabbed my hips and then slowly moved her hands up my skin letting me feel a trail of her warmth as she moved. My whole body froze, suddenly aware of nothing else besides her hands touching me.
She's touching me.
Stay calm.
Connect us now, distract yourself from her hands.
I dropped my body down, feeling every inch of her nakedness touching me and although I was the one on top I felt like there was a heavy weight suffocating me down, making me unable to move or breath. Locked onto her with no escape.
Ignore it Liam, you can do this.
You want to do this.
I hoisted her leg up giving me open access to her innocence and through my fear I asked her if she was ready. When she nodded head I lined myself up, closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
This is it.
The moment that could break me and yet here I am, willingly giving that power over to her. Any minute I would push into her and our two bodies would become one. She would take everything, know me completely inside and out. When I opened my eyes I was ready, she looked up at me expectedly with her beautiful jade green eyes and something about the look on her face made me know I was safe, loved and ready.
So I started easing myself in slowly, feeling her warmth cling around my walls with every inch that brought our bodies closer. I eased out of her just as slow, not wanting to cause her any pain but there was nothing but unadulterated fulfilment on her face so I picked up the pace.
Her hands traveled my body, feeling the dips and curves of my back. I gave it to her, everything I've hidden away from the world. She felt how much I wanted this intimacy, how I've craved it my whole life. How I've longed to feel love from anyone but never did. How I desired for someone to care about me, for someone to touch me, for someone to protect me.
And as her insides gripped me tighter my fear evaporated, leaving me nothing but extreme pleasure as our two bodies connected perfectly like we were made for one another. I felt her contract around me, grabbing me and not wanting me to let go as climbed through her climax.
And I followed closely behind her, releasing myself and letting her take it all. Vanquishing all of the demons that clouded my head as we rode out our high together.
I pulled out of her and lay beside her, feeling a rush of emotions that I couldn't contain. Tears rolled down my face silently.
"Oh my god Liam, are you crying?" Her eyes were wide and alarmed.
"Shh... It's just because I'm happy." She searched my face and visibly relaxed when she believed my honesty. "How embarrassing is it to cry after sex? I've needed that my entire life, that closeness that intimacy and I've never had it until now. I've never felt happiness like that. It overwhelmed me and i couldn't stop the tears falling.
I pulled her closer to lie down on my chest. "It was intense." She muttered.
"I still have a long way to go I'm not going to be cured from one intimate encounter but for the first time in forever I feel like I'm going to be okay and that's because of you liv. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, I want you to be my girlfriend."
"I already was." She said mischievously.
I laughed, she laughed.
And in that moment I knew I was going to be okay because I had Olivia by my side and she would always be my blanket of safety to pull me out of the darkness whenever I needed her.
The End.