Chapter 5 - ~~~~~The Prodigal Son~~~~~~
The Crusader lay down on the straw mat upon the floor.
He had been unnerved by the gorilla. Offering up a prayer to God, he thanked the Almighty that the wench had fallen into the pit.
'I know it was your doing O Lord of the Hosanna'
'My work is in your hands. Give my hands the strength to strangle that gorilla when next we meet. Failing that, please let another heathen fall into the lap of the beast'
He was worn out and fell asleep with exhaustion.
The next morning he felt unburdened. Empowered by his encounter with the mysterious forces of God.
Perhaps it was God's plan to release the beast from I ho's lair?
Was I ho to be converted to the spirit of Christ?
He remembered his father's words
'Get the fuck out of here and don't show your face again until Christ has cleansed your soul'
This was an unusual declaration from a man of the cloth.
What did he mean by this?
Those opening words. Were they a prophecy?
He ran them over again in his mind.
'Get the fuck out of here'. Behold! he thought
I am now somewhere else. Was his father in this with I ho?
He was an unwanted prodigal son.
At times, during his time spent at the dinner table discussing scripture, he had felt close to his father.
His father spoke in mysterious tongues.
Once he had asked him 'Father, blessed father, if I was to behave like the prodigal son, would you kill a fatted calf for me and place me at the head of your table and embrace my return'
'Tommy, his father replied, shut the fuck up and read your Deuteronomy '
Is that what his father was trying to tell him. His answer was to be found in that book?
He read it inside out but it was cryptic and contained no words of love for him that he could decipher.
It would be fair to say that Tommy was slow in getting the message not to bother his dad.
His thoughts were gathering a storm in his brain.
An image came to him as he recalled his beloved mother.
'Mama, you who know the word of God and have studied scripture as though you were a gospel writer, do you love me? As much as you love God.
His mother never even raised her head from the early edition of the 'News of the World'
He tried again.
'Blessed Mother, Am I marred by the mark of Cain. Unwanted and to be banished from your midst?'
'You better fucking believe it! Now shut your mouth and read your Book of Revelations"
Tommy was an eager student. He read it immediately.
Only when he was versed in the Bible would he understand fully the love his parents had for him. He must search for their answer in the word of God.
He wondered about his parents then. Were they still in the local church telling all who searched for salvation that God was on their side.
Even as he thought this, his father said to his mother
'Any sign of that obnoxious little swine'
'No, she replied. Haven't heard or seen sign of him since you threw him out'
'Shall we notify the police? said his father
'Are you out of your mind?, she replied
'After what he wrote in the Bible about Judas? That blasphemous little bastard'
'Of course, my dear! What was I thinking?
Tommy thought then that his parents must be very worried about him. He was sure he had been reported as a missing person.
He would be found and brought home to his parents worried arms.
He would be as the prodigal son was. Tears would flow upon his return.
All this he thought and was disturbed then by a sound.
It came from the closet. It was a muted incomprehensible sound.
It made no sense. Like an animal.
'This it it!' said Tommy
'A test or a sign from God!'
Slowly and cautiously he opened the closet.
There was young Bastardo! His tongue had been cut out and the severed tongue lay nailed to the inside of the door.
Never again would he call I ho 'Father'
Bastardo lay whimpering and the unutterable sound started to grate on the crusader's nerves.
He looked at the ear of Bastardo. It was crumpled and cauliflowered.
Still the whimpering continued. Tommy started to get a headache so he planted a boot into Bastardo's ear and told him to shut up.
Then he closed the door just as Yu Yan walked in with his breakfast.
An interpreter was with her.
'My gracious guest 'Crusader'
'After your morning breakfast, our Lord I ho will greet you in his quarters'
'You have found favour with Lord I ho'
Then he was alone with his breakfast.
'God in heaven! he cried
'You are with your crusader!'
'You truly work in mysterious ways'
He offered his thanks to God and prayed for Bastardo
A whimper came from the closet then
'Shut the fuck up!' roared Tommy
He gave the door an unmerciful boot and Bastardo got the message.
All was quite again.
He savored his food and readied himself to meet I ho.
Bastardo wanted to cry out but feared for his life and the remnants of his only ear.
I ho stretched in his quarters then picked up his Samurai sword.
His attendant had forgotten to bow in his presence.
A severed head flew across the room. All those present immediately bowed for all they were worth
A chant filled the air
'Praise be to Lord I ho! and everyone bowed and kissed the floor
' I hope Lord I ho is a man of God' thought the Crusader
'Perhaps we can break bread together'
Chapter 6 ~~~~ On Guard ~~~~
I ho sat on his throne and looked down on the bowed heads assembled before him. To the great relief of those on their knees, he clapped his hands signaling their dismissal from his presence.
The decapitated head lay on the floor unable to move. It fixed a gory gaze upon I ho.
Yu Yan escorted the Crusader in to the ceremonial quarters and I ho looked upon him.
Tommy noticed the severed head as he approached and instinctively gave it a boot. It's presence had offended him and he thought it was a warning from I ho to intimidate him.
It sailed past the shocked face of I ho and his bodyguard sliced it in two as it did so.
The bodyguard looked to I ho for the permissive death gesture.
I ho held his hand up in refusal and the bodyguard sheathed his bloody sword.
Yu Yan had blanched at this disrespect in the presence of I ho.
Why hadn't she shackled his ankles? I ho gave her a reassuring glance that all was well.
The interpreter was knocking her knees and her guts rumbled for all they were worth.
Tommy looked up with pride his efforts.
'Is this the head John the Baptist? ! Tommy shouted
'What wench has performed the dance macabre for you? he said further
I ho looked to the interpreter. She knew damn well not to give a direct response.
'My Lord I ho! she cried
'The crusader has denounced the enemy at your feet. How dare a severed head lie in your exulted presence. It has offended him that your venerable abode has been stained by its presence in your greatness'
I ho looked to the crusader in amazement
'Tell him he has found further favour with I ho'
The Crusader looked at the interpreter
'If you value your life, you will smile and bow graciously and do not pull a stunt like that again'
'My Lord I ho has power of life or death over you'
Tommy thought it over and bowed with a smile
'Bring him to me!'
All approached with great trepidation except Tommy who was in awe of the spectacle of obedience.
The bodyguard glared at Tommy and had I ho not forbidden it,
would have ran him through with his sword.
'You have pleased me Crusader with your courage'
'You shall honour me by wearing this uniform when next you face my gorilla'
The interpreter translated for all she was worth
'You will wear this uniform as if your life depends upon it when next you battle the gorilla"
There it was a thirteenth century crusader's uniform and sword.
Tommy looked on in disbelief and fell in love with it.
He picked up the sword and gave it a swirl. He caught the bodyguard off guard and loped his ear off.
The bodyguard screamed in shock and pulled his sword.
'No! roared I ho
'The bodyguard put his sword back and looked sorrowfully at his severed ear listening from the bloody ground.
'Why have you done this? demanded I ho
The interpreter's stomach churned and she relayed to Tommy his precarious position.
'Tell My Lord I ho, if I had wanted to I could have killed him. My God has spared him in thanksgiving for his gracious kindness in bestowing me the honour of the Crusaders uniform'
'Tell him further that his bodyguard is inept and needs replacing'
The interpreter responded to I ho word for word and waited.
I ho bowed with respect for the Crusader. Having done so pulled his Samurai sword and severed the bodyguard's head in one swift blow'
It rolled to the feet of Tommy and he gave it an unmerciful boot sending it flying down the hallowed hall of I ho's quarters'
The interpreter passed out
I ho looked at Tommy burst out laughing
Yu Yan laughed for all she was worth
I ho clapped his hands and the meeting was ended
Tommy was brought out to the I ho's gardens of peace and allowed to walk the scenic pathways. Food and wine was prepared for him.
He was an intrigue to I ho.
Some hours later Tommy was brought back to his quarters.
He was tired from the abundance of wine and foot.
He settled down to have a short nap.
A noise came from his closet.
Not again! he thought
'Be on guard' he said to himself
Opening it cautiously he beheld young Bastardo.
He now had only one eye. The handiwork of Yu Yan under I ho's orders.
His eye lay in a glass jar looking at Tommy. A leather eye patch lay beside the jar.
Bastardo looked at Tommy but knew not to whimper. His ear was fearful of another assault
Tommy was perplexed. Who the hell was this?
Why was he sharing Tommy's quarters
Closing the door and ignoring Bastardo he knelt in prayer.
'Lord, high in the heavens! Thank you for this day!'
I ho was in an opium induced state. The gorilla fight was in two days.
It would be a glorious contest and bring I ho further acclaim.