· 。ﾟ☆: *.☽
▎ 𝑭 𝑨 𝑹 𝑭 𝑹 𝑶 𝑴 𝑵 𝑶 𝑹 𝑴 𝑨 𝑳 ▎
𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 ━━ LETTING GO.
࿔·ﾟ*ೃ࿐ ࿔* 🎸🥁🎤🎶
the greatest step towards a life of
𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆 is learning to let go
･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.
ASHLEY felt her heart pounding hard in her chest.
She didn't know what to say as Reggie winced again, rubbing the space on his chest that had just flashed with a bright light and had sent him flying off the piano bench. What had done that to him? How long had that been happening?
"Are you okay?" Ashley's voice was shaking and she didn't know why - Reggie was already dead, he couldn't die a second time, right? "That looked like it hurt."
"I'm alright." Reggie held onto the wall to lift himself from the ground, struggling. "Come and sit down with me and I'll explain everything, I promise."
Ashley wanted to refuse. She didn't like this. There was something about the way Reggie had spoken to her, something off about how gentle he was being. It was a different kind of gentle like he knew he was about to make a mistake.
Ashley hoped her gut feeling was wrong for once.
When the two of them had sat down on the studio's sofa, it was a long while before anybody spoke. Ashley wasn't going to speak first, she was going to let Reggie do it. There was an uncomfortable feeling bobbing in her throat anyway and she felt as if she might cry if she opened her mouth to speak to him.
"Remember a few weeks ago when Alex came and told us we had unfinished business and that's why we came back as ghosts?" Ashley hated how he seemed to be struggling to talk to her like he was trying to hold off information. Ashley nodded, remembering. That was the day they had told Flynn everything about the boys, the day Julie and the Phantoms had officially banded together.
That day felt like a million years ago.
"We figured out what it is."
Ashley felt a jolt in her chest, remembering the other information Alex had told them - the news that if the boys completed their unfinished business, they would cross over to where ghosts crossed over to. They would leave.
Ashley tried not to show her pain on her face.
"Okay, what is it?" She looked up to meet Reggie's eyes.
"We have to play the show we never got to play."
"The Orpheum?" Ashley remembered Alex telling her about the night they had died in more detail, how they had been two hours away from playing the biggest show of their lives and it had all come crumbling down because of a hotdog. "That does make sense. You were all together when that was supposed to happen."
Before Reggie could speak again, he was hit with another jolt of blinding pain.
"Again?" Ashley reached out to touch him but backed off when she realised her hand would go right through him if she tried. She always seemed to forget about that negative of the boy. "Reggie, why does this keep happening to you?"
"It's happening to all of us." He coughed, rubbing his chest again as he winced with the movement. He was in so much pain. "We don't have a lot of time, Ash."
"What are these jolt things anyways?" Ashley hated seeing Reggie in so much pain. He was a ghost, she wasn't used to seeing pain hit him because how was that possible? He was dead, he shouldn't be able to feel pain.
"We did something stupid, Ash." Reggie's voice was choked as he spoke as if he was trying not to cry but Ashley put it off to him still being in pain. "The night we missed the dance, we met this ghost and he put a curse on us."
Ashley's stomach dropped.
"A curse?" She breathed out the words. "What kind of curse?"
"If we don't do what he says, these jolts will destroy us."
Ashley shuffled as close to him as she could without touching him.
"What does he want?" She swallowed down the uncomfortable lump in her throat. "You have to do what he says, Reg, all of you. What does this ghost want?"
"He wants us to be in his house band for eternity." Reggie was refusing to meet Ashley's eyes as he spoke and she hated it. "But if we can figure out a way to play the Orpheum then we can avoid all of that eternity stuff and actually cross over."
Ashley hated those words. 'Cross over'. That meant to leave.
"And when you cross over-" Ashley paused- "that means you'll go to heaven?"
"I think that's what we're looking to, yeah." Reggie finally looked up to meet Ashley's gaze and the blonde wished he hadn't. It was full of apology, full of misery. He knew what he was about to do and Ashley hated that she knew it too.
"So I lose you no matter what." Ashley hadn't wanted to say the words, but there was no denying that this was where the conversation was heading, where Reggie had intended to take it. "No matter whether you cross over, join this freaky ghosts band or get destroyed by these jolts, I'm going to lose you."
"Ashley-" Reggie reached as if to touch her but she backed away.
"How long have you known?" Ashley's voice was quiet as she mulled over the information she had just had piled on her. "How long have you known that you guys were going to leave? How long have you known I would lose you forever?"
"Only a day or two." Reggie could see his mistake.
"So you've been lying to me. Again."
Reggie hated the pain he could hear in her voice.
"I just told you that I'm in love with you and you're going to leave." Ashley was trying not to raise her voice at him but this news couldn't have come on a worse day. After arguing with her father and arguing with Luca, this was possibly the last straw before she well and truly snapped. "I can't believe you let me confess that kind of stuff to you and now you're telling me this. You're leaving."
"Ashley, I confessed too." Reggie reached out for her again but Ashley stood from the sofa this time, not wanting him to reach out to her. If he even tried, she knew she would cry. "I have never cared about anybody as much as I've cared about you but we're out of options, Ash. There is nothing we can do."
Ashley sucked in a breath, her heart pounding.
"All my life, all I ever wanted was to know you guys." She wasn't looking at Reggie as she spoke, the floor of the studio so much more interesting. "I went through so much loss before I was even born, a big brother and two potential best friends. I lost everything before I knew what everything was. And then you guys came back, filled that hole inside of me, and now you're leaving again.
"Julie has lost too much. First her mom, then music and now you guys too? I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe you guys are doing this to us."
"Ashley-" Reggie had stood from the sofa now too but was interrupted by the sound of whooshing as Ashley's big brother appeared in the room. He looked bummed but his eyes brightened when he saw his sister - it didn't last long though, for his expression fell once more when he saw the tears on her face.
"Ash, what's wrong?" Alex took a tentative step closer to his sister but she continued to back away towards the door, hands trembling. She tried to imagine Julie holding onto them, squeezing her hands as she usually did to try and calm the trembling but Ashley's mind was too fogged up to think too much,
"Alex, don't." Ashley's voice was shaking. "Just don't, alright?"
Alex's face fell and when he looked towards Reggie for some reassurance or at least something to tell him what was going on right now, all he saw was the bassist with tears in his eyes and heartbreak in his expression.
Alex had left for half an hour and the whole world was falling apart.
"You're leaving us." Ashley didn't know whether she was talking to the boys or herself now. "We're going to be alone again. I'm going to be alone again."
It hit Alex then what Ashley was so upset about. Reggie must've told her.
"Ashley, listen-" Alex stepped towards his sister but she waved her hands around to stop him and he was caught off guard. She shook her head a few times, eyes squeezed shut. He hadn't seen her this upset in a while and it hurt.
"Don't, Alex. Please." A sob tore up her throat as she said his name and from where he was standing by the sofa, Reggie felt the noise tear through him like a chainsaw. "I can't- I can't deal with this right now. I just- I need to-"
Ashley could feel her heart beating quick and erratically in her chest, breathing struggled and tight as she swung the studio doors open. She was surprised to see Luke standing on the threshold, eyes trained towards the house and he looked as if he wanted to cry - he must've told Julie what Reggie had told her.
She didn't miss the flash of bright concern which crossed his expression when he saw her but rather than saying something on it, the blonde shuffled right past him, brushing his shoulder with his when she passed, going right through him.
Ashley heard her name being called as she jogged up to the house but she didn't know who was calling it. All the voices were merged together, creating a melancholy tune with the pounding of her heart in her ears.
When the blonde reached Julie's bedroom, the sight she was met with brought back memories that Ashley would so much rather squash than relive - Julie curled up tight against the headrest of her bed, tears on her face as she confirmed Ashley's thinking that she had just been told the exact same news she had.
Ashley remembered all the times she had curled up on Julie's bed with her within the past year as the girl sobbed into her arms after losing her mother. The first few months of Julie's grief had been the worst for Ashley, she had hated seeing her best friend in so much emotional pain, and here they both were, back in the same position, this time, both of them grieving for the same people.
Ashley had no hesitance whatsoever as she climbed up onto the bed beside Julie and without a second thought, wrapped her arms around her best friend when the young girl collapsed in on her. Ashley, who hadn't noticed she had been crying until she had been leaving the studio, let her tears fall freely now as the two best friends held each other through the pain as best they could.
There was nothing quite like the feeling of losing the ones you loved.
"They're gonna leave us, Ash Attack. We're gonna lose them."
"I know, Jules." Ashley let out a breath. "I know. This sucks."
The two of them remained in silence after that, the only sound being the soft teary sounds of sniffles from either party. Ashley didn't know how long later it was before there were footsteps on the stairs and Flynn knocked on the door.
Julie must've sent her 911 text.
"Hey, I got your text." Ashley had been right.
"Don't come too close." Both Ashley and Julie sat up from their curled positions by the headboard but Julie didn't move from where she was attached to Ashley's side as she spoke up, leaning on her, and the blonde didn't want her to. If she was going to lose the boys, she was going to hold onto Julie as tightly as she could so she didn't lose her too. "Anyone we seem to care about disappears."
"You guys can't get rid of me. I'm like the crazy glue of best friends."
Ashley couldn't deny how very right Flynn was.
"I just don't get it." Ashley's voice came out choked and she cleared her throat, trying to rid her voice of the crying session her and Julie had just had. "Right when things in our lives start to get good. Greats friends, great band, greats guys. A bright future in the music business. And then it's all going away."
"I seriously don't know why this is happening to you guys." Flynn smiled sympathetically at her two best friends as she knelt down towards the suitcase where Julie kept all of her mom's old things. "But I'm sorry."
"You don't have to do that."
"I know, but I get to check out all your moms cool stuff." Flynn turned to smile at Julie as she started folding up jumpers and tidying around the suitcase.
There was a moments pause until Flynn let out a surprised gasp.
"Woah..." the girl sounded shocked. "Did you guys know this was in here?"
Flynn turned around with a t-shirt in her hand. When Ashley read the design on the front of it, adorned with silver gems like Julie's mom had added her own sparkle, Ashley felt her heart leap to her throat and she almost choked on the air.
It was a Sunset Curve t-shirt.
"What the heck?" Julie straightened up.
"How do you think she got it?"
"I- I don't know, but the guys said they didn't know my mom." Ashley was staying particularly silent as she gave her backpack a sideways glance from where it was sitting at the end of Julie's bed, on the floor. She had stuffed the t-shirt into it to carry around with her and she was going to tell Julie and Flynn about finding it eventually, but she didn't know how to. "Why would they lie?"
"Maybe they didn't." Flynn stood from the ground like she was having a sudden revelation. "Maybe she knew them. She could be a fan!"
"I mean, Sunset Curve was playing the Hollywood club scene around then."
"Oh my gosh." Flynn's eyes widened some. "What if you were right? What if the guys are connected to your mom? You know, through music or something."
Julie gave Flynn a puzzled look.
"Think about it." The girl shook the Sunset Curve t-shirt. "They were the ones who made you wanna play music again. Maybe she knew they could help you."
"So, you mean to tell me that my mom is somewhere out there planning all this?" Julie gave Ashley a sideways look, noticing her silence and didn't miss how the girl looked pale. She wondered what she was thinking about. "If she wanted me to play music again, why wouldn't she just tell me herself?"
"Maybe she can't." Flynn raised her eyebrows, shaking the t-shirt again. "Maybe she has to do it another way. Through signs. You've been through these clothes how many times and haven't found this t-shirt? Why now?"
"I don't mean to break this up or anything, but-" Ashley reached for her backpack, pulling it onto her lap- "there's something I need to show you."
Julie noticed her voice was trembling.
"Last night, I told my parents about how much I knew about Sunset Curve." Ashley unzipped her bag as she was talking. "It didn't go well, just saying. I went into the attic to be with Alex's stuff like I always do when something bad happens in my life and you will never guess what I found amongst his old t-shirts."
Ashley gripped the white Sunset Curve t-shirt she had found at the bottom of one of Alex's boxes of clothes and pulled it out, opening it up to show her friends the design. She heard Flynn let out an audible gasp and almost chuckled.
"I have been through those boxes of Alex's old things a million times before now and never found this." Ashley looked down at the t-shirt in her hands. "I thought maybe Alex at first because that seemed like the obvious option but-"
"My mom could be helping you too." Julie finished Ashley's sentence.
"Oh my god, it makes sense!" Flynn had had a lightbulb moment. "Julie, when did Ashley come into our lives? And not the first day exactly, I mean properly, when we became a trio. When we started to get super, duper close."
"I mean-" Julie paused to think about it before her eyes widened, realising what Flynn meant- "oh my god. Ashley came to us just before my mom died."
"Exactly." Flynn was gesturing excitedly. "The world knew you were going to need someone. Your mom knew you would need someone. Maybe your mom knew who Ashley was somehow. You would've had me but Ashley understands you more musically than I ever could, on a level that I will never understand."
"You're trying to tell me that Julie's mom sent me?" Ashley raised her eyebrows. "That she knew Julie would need someone and she sent me? Because she knew I was Alex's little sister? And now she's helping me too?"
"Because you're connected to each other!" Flynn seemed to have it figured out, but Ashley was confused. "You two helped each other through your grief."
Julie and Ashley looked to one another and Julie's eyes were soft. There had always been something about Julie and Ashley's friendship that was different from the one they both shared with Flynn, everybody they knew had always told them so. Of course, they loved Flynn too much to even describe but Ashley and Julie had always been closer in a way that was hard to understand.
And what was it that Ashley's mom had said the night before? That it was fate that her and Julie had met after her mom was a fan of Sunset Curve in the 90's. Julie's mom had forever been telling Ashley that her and Julie were meant to be friends, that there was so many things they had in common, so many ways they were connected, that she was surprised they weren't biologically sisters.
She was always telling her that, like she knew something.
Maybe Flynn was right? Maybe they were universally connected?
"It's not over!" Flynn was grinning.
Julie gave Flynn another puzzled look.
"Look," Flynn's facial expression softened, "you guys are gonna lose them no matter what. You were always going to. And it sucks. But they helped bring you both back to life. Now it's your turn to help them. They have to cross over.
"Let them go."
Ashley hated to admit it, but it had been something she had been thinking about since that afternoon in the studio with Alex. Ever since he had mentioned about them having unfinished business, she had been wondering what it was and how they were going to achieve it, no matter how little she actually wanted them to cross over. She wanted to be selfish and ask the boys to stay forever.
She knew it couldn't last forever, though. Having Alex, having Luke, having Reggie. It wasn't going to be forever and since the beginning, Ashley had known that deep inside. She just hadn't wanted to admit it. The thought of losing three of the most important people in her life was one thought she didn't want to have but she had known the whole time that it was a temporary thing.
They had to cross over. She had to let them go.
Julie gave Ashley a look, a look which asked her, "Are you sure about this?" and Ashley nodded. If they were going to do this, they were going to do it together. Like everything they did, they did it together. No going back. No regrets.
Leaving Flynn in Julie's room, the two of them, hand-in-hand, made their way down to the studio where they were met with a scene that was just as forlorn as the one that had been happening in Julie's bedroom ten minutes before.
The boys were gathered in a clump in the centre of the room, slumped around as if they had no energy whatsoever. She could hear Reggie plucking his guitar strings. Ashley watched as Reggie's eyes lifted to meet hers when they entered the studio but she hated the apology and guilt in them so she shook her head, not wanting him to look at her like that anymore. He looked away once more.
Julie huffed out a sigh.
"Snap out of it!" Julie clapped her hands once and Ashley coughed out a chuckle as Alex jumped out of his skin and fell off the sofa, falling between the chair and the coffee table, his drumsticks rolling away across the studio floor.
"Jeez, I think you broke Alex." Ashley hated how far away Reggie sounded.
"Can you do that again?" Ashley leaned in to whisper the words to Julie and the girl laughed, the first genuine laugh she had heard from her in a while.
Luke lifted Alex back onto the sofa by his bag.
"Do you guys wanna cross over or what?" Ashley couldn't believe she was agreeing to help but in the end, she would so much rather the boys be somewhere safe and away from anymore harm than destroyed or stuck in a freaky ghosts band for eternity. At the sound of her determined voice, Reggie's eyes brightened.
"Get it together! God, you guys are worse than me on a Monday morning."
Julie chuckled at that comment.
"They're never gonna let us play the Orpheum." Luke met their eyes.
"We're nobody."
"We're less than nobody. We have no bodies."
Ashley threw her hands into the air, huffing. They were so difficult.
"Someone once told me that you don't ask for permission. You book gigs by doing." Julie was looking at Luke as she spoke and Ashley remembered when he had told her that - the evening they visited her in her bedroom for the first time after they had convinced Julie to perform for Miss. Harrison to get her back into the music program. Everything that had happened felt like a thousand years ago.
"That was me." Reggie was grinning a little.
"No, it wasn't." Everyone in the room looked at Reggie as he frowned slightly, curling himself into the corner of the chair he was in. Ashley hid a chuckle.
He was so cute.
"This isn't over." Ashley looked between the three of them still feeling determined. "We were brought together for a reason: to help each other."
"Yeah, but like Luke said-" Alex finally looked up to meet his little sisters gaze and was surprised to see the determination fluttering through her expression. It was a stark difference to what she had looked like ten minutes ago, not wanting him to touch her- "people don't just play the Orpheum because they want to."
"People don't. But ghosts do."