When Patrick woke up the next morning, he was still laying down on the couch. At first, he was wondering why he was there and not in his own bed, until he looked down and smiled. Seeing Wendy still laying on top of him, in his arms as they cuddled. He gently kissed her on the head, to which she smiled and snuggled closer to him. Putting her hands on his chest and nuzzling her face into his neck.
"Goodmorning, beautiful," he whispered in her ears. Wendy moaned and straddled his lap.
"Morning, handsome," she said with half-awake eyes. "You make a surprisingly comfortable bed."
"Is that really a surprise for a boyfriend to help his girlfriend have a goodnight's sleep," Patrick asked with a smirk. She smirked and the two of them locked lips and made out for a moment. Enjoying a moment together in each other's arms. When their lips separated, he patted her leg. "I'll make us some breakfast if you want to use our bathroom to clean yourself up."
"Can't we just stay like this?" Wendy pouted.
"Only if you want to go hungry."
Wendy gave him a playful punch in the shoulder before getting off and heading upstairs. With the biggest smile on his face, Patrick walked over to the kitchen and pulled out everything he'll need to make pancakes. For the first time in what was likely a long time, he was genuinely happy. But he was still troubled by what he and the others went through down in the bunker. But he knew that there was no going back no. They were hot on the trail of the author and they couldn't stop. Once-and if-Soos repairs the computer, they'll be closer to finding the author and unlocking the answers of the town.
"Patrick?" He heard Dipper's voice behind him and looked to see him and Mabel looking at him with confusion. "What're you doing down here? Who's in the shower? Because it ain't Stan."
"Wendy's using the shower," he told them. "Last night she stayed over."
"Aww!" Mabel said with her hands on her cheeks.
"Yeah. By the way, could one of you go out and check the mail?" Patrick said, before flipping some pancakes. Mabel got a big grin on her face before running out of the house. Dipper just shrugged his shoulders and walked over to the living room to wait for breakfast to be ready. After Patrick was finished with the pancakes, Wendy came down, still wearing her usual clothes and waited with Dipper while watching TV. Patrick then came walking in with the pancakes and sat down on the chair with his girlfriend. He threw his arm around her and Wendy snuggled into his side as he started passing out plates with stacks of three to everyone. Dipper ate on the ground, as Wendy opened her mouth for Patrick, who without taking his eyes off the screen, fed her some of the pancakes. Well, almost, some of the syrup got on her face, but she didn't care and licked it up.
Then Stan stepped into the den after smelling the scent of pancakes and saw the two boys and cashier eating together.
"Wendy? What're you doing here? It's your day off," Stan said.
"I'm hanging out with my new boyfriend," Wendy replied, giving Patrick a kiss on the cheek.
Stan's eyes widened a bit. "I see," he said, rubbing the back of his head. "Then I guess I'll have to give you that same lesson about the birds and the..."
"Hard pass, Stan," Patrick said. Especially not after what Mabel told him he talked about.
Suddenly the door burst open and Mabel rushed in giddily with a newspaper in hand. "It's here! She proclaimed with delight. Running into the den and screamed. "Aaah! Oh, it's here! It's here, it's here!"
"What's here, Mabel?" Wendy asked curiously.
"This!" Mabel waved around the rolled-up newspaper she was still holding. "I've been waiting all morning and it's finally here! The Gravity Falls Gossiper accepted my article about summer fashion tips for squirrels. My picture is gonna be in the newspaper! Check it!" She proudly showed everyone a view of the front page newspaper. Everyone looked at it as Stan read out the headline.
"'Pacifica Northwest declares v-neck the look of the season!'" Stan said, looking as confused as others when they read the title. "What am I looking at here?
"Woah, woah, WHAT?!" Upon hearing that, Mabel gasped when she looked at the paper for herself and was truly shocked when she didn't see her article anywhere. Instead, the newspaper read "GREATEST THING OF THE SUMMER!", and showed a portrait of Pacifica Northwest, with the caption "PACIFICA NORTHWEST." Below it was a new article all about the bratty heiress about how great she calmed to be.
"Looks like someone bought their way to the front page," Dipper remarked with disdain for Pacifica.
Wendy scoffed crossly. "Trust me, this isn't the first time," she growled bitterly. "Those Northwests love being in the fucking spotlight."
"Is it legal for a child to wear that much make-up?" Stan asked with a hint of ridicule.
"Ugh, Pacifica!" Mabel growled in frustration and threw down the paper. "She always ruins everything!"
Patrick got up and kneeled down next to his cousin to console her. "Aw, I'm sorry about your article, Mabel! But cheer up! You can always show the article to us. And besides, it's not like anyone's going to see Pacifica's. No one even reads newspapers anymore."
Soos suddenly came into the room with a copy of the newspaper. "Dudes! V-neck season is upon us! Who wants to help me get ahead of the fashion curve? I'm taking it one step further." He then pulled out a pair of scissors and a marker. "With a W-neck." The rest of the people in the room glared at him as he drew a construction line for a "w" and started cutting along the lines. "Must... follow... newspaper..."
"Soos!" Wendy snapped, getting Soos to stop and see that everyone was staring at him. "Not! Help!"
Mabel glumly ran over to the nearby table, furiously pouring herself a glass of orange juice, which she gulps down like a shot of whisky. "Aack! I need something to get my mind off this."
"Looking for a distraction from your horrible life?" Said the TV when it went to a commercial, asking the question that everyone was trying to answer.
Mabel perked up when she heard this. "Why yes!" she said, looking at the TV with interest.
"Victory! Honor! Destiny! Valor! Courage! Mutton!" Announced the commercial announcer boldly with various images. "These old-timey sounding words are alive and well at the Gravity Falls Royal Discount Putt Hutt! *No mutton available at the snack shop*"
"Since when did this town have a mini-golf course?" Patrick asked.
"Hey, Mabel! You love mini-golf!" Dipper exclaimed before pulling out a scrapbook. Patrick, Wendy, and Stan gathered around as he opened the book to a page with a picture of Mabel winning a trophy at a minor league gold competition with the caption "AGE 9". "She's been amazing at it since we were kids!"
Patrick was going to point out that they were still kids but declined the compliment. "You know what, we've had a stressful couple of days. I think we could all enjoy a day of mini-golf and just get our minds off our problems. What do you say, Mabel?"
"Would kicking all our butts at mini-golf cheer you up?" Stan asked with a warm grin.
"Maybe a little..." Mabel said with a slight smile.
"Now we're talking!" Wendy exclaimed with encouragement as she jumped out of the seat. "Let's go, Mabel!"
Dipper jumped to his feet. "Victory!"
"Honor!" Mabel yelled.
"Destiny!" Stan proclaimed.
"Valor!" Patrick jumped in encouragement.
"Courage!" Wendy declared, punching the air.
"Mutton!" Soos finished, as his self-made W-neck flopped down.
"Victory! Honor! Destiny! Valor! Courage! Mutton!" The entire group chanted in union and pumped their fist in the air as they started heading out of the Shack. "Victory! Honor! Destiny! Valor! Courage! Mutton!"
Waddles was left in the house, on the couch, when the doors closed and Soos exclaimed, "And the pig can look after the house!" Waddles oinked.
—
Gravity Falls was always a small town with several small businesses that make up its economy. But it turned out that there were still some businesses that the Pines didn't know about. The Ye Royal Discount Putt Hutt mini-golf course was surprisingly large and elaborate that consisted of the standard 18 holes of normal courses. It was primarily castle-themed, with portcullises and turrets on the outer walls. The entrance was through a large replica tree stump. The golf course was a bit run down, with trash and fallen leaves on the ground, puddles, some graffiti, and uneven turf.
When Patrick, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Wendy, and Soos walk in through the gate, they look around the place in amazement. The business was booming as there were several people playing throughout the course, which consisted of different decorative themes like a pirate ship, the Eiffel tower, a mine, and a large windmill, and a medieval castle in the center of it all.
Mabel took in a deep breath of air and smiled. "Ahh, mini-golf! The sport of mini champions!"
"The grass is fake, but the fun is real!" Dipper said while leaning on his golf club.
"There's something here for everyone!" Patrick added.
Even Robbie was there too, spray painting the word "Weiners" on a wall while laughing. He was then caught by the Mattress King. The very same guy that Mabel hit on near the beginning of summer. He was a light-skinned young man with shaggy brown hair, mustache stubble, and a large red nose. Just as his name suggested, he was always wearing clothing and accessories reminiscent of sixteenth-century England: high boots, puff sleeves, and ruff. He wore a golden crown. He rode up to Robbie in his purple golf cart that had been accessorized with a large crown, plush seats and roof, and wings. Robbie screamed and ran off with the Mattress King yelled at him and powered on his golf cart and attempted to chase Robbie. But the chart was insanely slow and Robbie just gave him the middle finger.
Patrick and Wendy stared for a moment. "Didn't that guy work for that mattress store?" asked the boyfriend.
"He works for anyone that'll let him dress up as a king," Wendy told him. It was now her turn so she stepped up to the court and set her ball. But then she got a little idea and smirked teasingly. "Hey Patrick, could you come over and help me?"
Patrick blushed a little, but smiled and walked over to her from behind until he was standing directly behind his girlfriend. His hands placed on hers as she held on to her club. Together, the two raised the club and hit the ball, sending it up the course and getting the ball ahead of Stan's and Soos's ball.
"Wow, I can't believe that actually that worked!" Wendy said. Patrick kissed her cheek, getting a giggle from the redhead before she gave him a quick kiss. "Thanks, babe."
"Ugh! You two are so cute together, it's sickening," Stan remarked, who was wearing a Hawaiian shirt with his fez, shorts, and slippers.
"Said the guy that walks around in his underwear," Patrick shot back.
Patrick and Wendy stepped back to let Dipper take his first swing of the day. "Focus! Focus!... And, eh..." He swung his club, but missed the golf ball completely. However, this does cause the ball to roll off the right, and drop right into the nearby shallow pond.
Dipper frowned as Mabel walked over to him with a sticker book. "Don't worry, bro! You're still..." opening the book, she peeled out and slapped a dinosaur sticker on his cheek. "'Ext-roar-dinary'!"
"...I'll take what I can get," Dipper said before walking off to let Mabel take her turn.
The twin sister stepped onto the green fake grass with confidence and gripped her club correctly as she positioned herself in front of a golf ball. "Do the hip wiggle, and eh!" With a single swing, Mabel hit the ball and sent it flying through the course. Bouncing off of the obstacles as it passed Stan, Soos, and Wendy's balls without so much as a single snag. Everyone watched in amazement as the ball entered into a dragon's mouth and exited from its tail, hitting Old Man McGucket's nose as the old man was napping on the grass before going into the hole. "Yes!" Mabel cheered in victory.
The others stared at her, clearly impressed. "Holy smokes! Someone in our family actually has talent!" Stan proclaimed with a grin.
"I'm standing right here, you ass!" Patrick snapped with a glare.
"Trust me, you two, you ain't seen nothing yet!" Dipper remarked with a grin, knowing full well that his sister was just getting started. Wendy then pulled out her phone, looked up a song on YouTube, had to wait for an annoying ad from The Art Institutes to skip over it, and then played the song.
And got started she did. After everyone went, Mabel would be the last one to go, and impressed everyone with her golfing skills as she made each and every shot a hole in one. It didn't matter if the hole was in the middle of a small little island or had other balls in the way, she made it all in one shot. This wasn't lost on the people around them, and by the time they had reached the 18th hole, the Dutch windmill, a large crowd of patrons had come together to watch her. Everyone was watching with bated breaths and waiting anxiously as the young girl set herself up for another easy hole-in-one. It was all up to Mabel to concentrate all of her focus on making the perfect shot.
"Guys, this is amazing! If Mabel gets a hole in one here, she'll beat her all-time high score!" Dipper exclaimed as he held up a score sheet. All the points were tallied, and it was up to Mabel to finish strong.
"Go, Mabel!" Wendy cheered.
Mabel was laser-focused as she lined up her putter to the ball. "You can do it, Mabel! Pretend the ball is Pacifica's face!" With that thought in mind, she made her move and hit the golf ball with her club. Sending it cleanly into the tiny hole of the windmill without getting hit by the propellers. The Pines kids rushed over to the exit as the sound of mechanism and machinery could be heard from within. That's when the ball came out of the exit and made its way to the hole. Only very nearly scoring a hole-in-one before missing and rolling into a puddle, where it stopped and stayed.
"Aw, crap!" She shouted in anger, throwing down her club. Seeing her fail to make it in, the crowd dispersed while murmuring to thems and each other. The Pines family then walked over to her and Patrick patted her on the back while Stan picked up the ball out of the water.
"Ah, don't worry about it kid!" Stan said, rubbing the ball on his tank top and then handing it back to her. "The thing's random!"
"Yeah, besides the Bermuda triangle, how mini-golf works is our world's greatest mystery," Soos added wisely. Patrick, Wendy, and Dipper stared at him blankly before turning back to Stan.
"As far as I'm concerned, you're still better than anyone else in Gravity..." The conman was interrupted when a random purple ball suddenly and gracefully rolled into the hole. Scoring a perfect hole-in-one. Everyone gasped in shock, before looking towards the person, only for their shock to turn to disdain when seeing who it was.
"Oh, would you look at that?" said Pacifica Northwest, casually leaning on her putter as her mother and father with her were sending the Pines family sarcastic looks. "I didn't know it was 'hobos golf-free' day!"
"Pacifica!" Mabel growled hotly.
Wendy growled lightly as the Northwest strode over to her boyfriend's family with arrogance. "Well, if it isn't the Pines family!" Pacifica remarked with faux delight as she started pointing at each of them with the exception of Wendy and gave them an insulting man. Starting with pointing at Soos. "Fat," she pointed at Stan. "Old," she pointed at Patrick. "Angst," she pointed at Dipper. "Lame," and finally she pointed at Mabel. "Braces!"
"Soos, would it be wrong to punch a child?" Stan muttered, ready to punch the girl's make-up right off her face.
"What're you doing here, Northwest?" Wendy asked with a glare on her face. "Doesn't your family have their own private golf course?"
Pacifica finally noticed Wendy and when she saw her plaid/flannel shirt, lumberjack hat, and red hair, she smirked mockingly. "Oh, and would you look at that? Even the Corduroys are allowed here. For your information, our private course is going through some renovation. You know, with actual good workers and not some hillbillies."
At first, Wendy's was shocked, before her expression turned dark upon hearing her insult her family like that. "Why, you dirty little...!" She lunged towards the blonde girl before Patrick acted quickly and held her back by her waist. He had never seen Wendy act like this, and was taken aback when she suddenly wanted to attack Pacifica. "Let me at her! I'll fucking chop her head in two!"
He pulled her back and started whispering soothing things in her ear to get her to calm down before turning to the parents. "Are you really going to let your daughter talk to people like that?"
"Why shouldn't we?" asked Preston Northwest. He was a man with short dark brown hair and a dark brown mustache. He has prominent cheekbones, and a large, rectangular nose. "You wouldn't understand, seeing as how you're not rich."
"Why do you just leave us alone," Dipper snapped at Pacifica. "Can't you see that we're trying to play our game here?"
"Yeah, well so are we," Pacifica replied. "And with our money, we could pay for the golf course to take you all out of here, instead."
"Yeah? Well, that money can't buy you skill!" Mabel remarked. "You walked into the game of a mini-golf champion!"
"Ha!" Pacifica scoffed before snapping her fingers. "Sergei!" She commanded as a tall man with a rectangular head with long brown hair, square mustache, small eyes, a square nose, and a cleft chin walked forward. He had a lanky, albeit athletic, build, and wore a red sweatband, red v-neck shirt with yellow stripes on the sleeves, yellow/gold shorts, and black and white tennis shoes with ankle-high white socks. "This is Sergei, my trainer!"
"The Sportylmpics had mini-golf once," Sergei said in a Russian accent. He then pulled open his shirt to show a gold medal hanging around his neck. "I took gold!"
"So if you don't mind moving out of the way of the professionals!" With a sneer and her usual pointed flair, the heiress walked over to a "bonus hole" and, with little effort, struck her golf ball with her club, hitting it right into the volcanic bonus hole. This activated the hole and it erupted. The blast blew everyone's hair back, as Mabel stared at her enemy in disbelief as Pacifica handed her club to Sergei and then took off her glove and passed it over to him too. "Enjoy second place. Give her a hand, folks!"
The crowd that had gathered started clapping in a patronizing way. Mabel, however, didn't pay attention to them as she stared at Pacifica in rage as she turned away and walked back to her parents. The smirk that Pacifica gave her when she finally had enough and snapped. "Oh, yeah? Well... I want a rematch, you... you" Mabel challenged daringly, stopping for a moment to think of an insult, before launching into a barrage of insults. "WALKING ONE-DIMENSIONAL BLEACHED BLONDE VALLEY GIRL STEREOTYPE BITCH!"
The entire crowd and even the Mystery Shack group gasped in absolute total shock from the verbal thrashing. Wendy started cheering for Mabel, loving how her boyfriend's cousin finally did something to put the Northwest girl in her place. As for Pacifica, she was the most surprised and the most enraged. Snapping shut the compact mirror in her hand, she spun around to face Mabel with an expression of fury. "Like, let's do this!" She growled with a pout.
The two girls marched towards each other, putter in hand, and prepared to face off. Above them, the clouds quickly rolled in and covered the sun. Thunder boomed in the sky, and the rain would be coming soon.
They were then interrupted when the Mattress King came driving up in his gaudy golf chart. Hear ye! Hear ye! Honk honk!" He was stopped when he drove into a nearby lamp post. "Ow!" He exclaimed, and repeatedly rammed into the post several times, then backed up and turned to the right and drove around it. "Stop at once! The park is now closed due to weather! The King of Mini-golf has spoken!" He then put the chart in reverse and backed into the post, causing it to topple over on its side with him still in it. "Ahh! The king is down!"
"This isn't over," Pacifica growled, poking her opponent in the chest. "You, me, midnight. We'll see who's best!"
"I'll be here!" Mabel exclaimed with a scowl, just as a bright flash of lightning lit up the sky. That's when the rain started coming down on the course. The Northwests whipped out their umbrellas in perfect unison and walked away. Sergei ran behind them. With no umbrella to protect himself from the rain, but still followed dutifully. Even as she watched the brat leave, Mabel remained firm in her stance.
"I'll be here!" That's when some of her wet hair got stuck in her mouth and she tried spitting out. "Puh! Puh! Hair in my mouth. Puh!"
—
After getting out of the rain, the Pines, Wendy, and Soos all went over to the Hermanos Brothers Diner. It was a Mexican restaurant that was near the mini-golf course. From the outside, it was a small, square building, with a giant sombrero for a roof. The sombrero's baubles act as lights. A neon sign on a pole, reading "Hermanos Brothers" was close by. Inside, the tables have Cholula Hot Sauce bottles, salt and pepper shakers, and napkin dispensers on them. The walls were tiled on the bottom half and have taco sconces. The window has a neon sign that reads "Abierto" which means "open" in Spanish. The restaurant appeared to be run down. The walls and tiles have cracks and the booth cushion was ripped.
Patrick, Wendy, Stan, and the twins were sitting at a table with a window next to it. Mabel was looking absolutely miserable. Head on the table and chin resting on the edge. She opened her mouth and Dipper would feed her nachos. All while staring out the window at the Northwest Manor that appeared to be near across the street from the restaurant.
As she was eating her taco, Wendy couldn't help but giggle when thinking back to when Mabel gave Pacifica that verbal thrashing and called her a bitch. "Mabel, I just want to say that was amazing!" She exclaimed with a big grin. "The way you yelled at that Northwest brat and called her a bitch? Priceless!"
"What does it matter?" Mabel spoke with a depressed pout. "Pacifica's going to beat me at the one thing I'm great at. Might as well scratch mini-golf off my talents list..."
Soos walked back to the table with a tray of tacos. "Aw, don't give up, Mabel," he said to encourage her.
"Yeah! If you beat her at this, she can never rag on you again," Dipper added with a smile. "Imagine it!"
And imagined it she did, as she spaced out and started smiling. Patrick saw this and shook his head with a small smile. "I think we lost contact with her," he said. "But I agree. Someone's got to put Dipper's girlfriend in her place."
"Yeah-Wha, HEY!" Dipper yelled with bright red cheeks while glaring at his cousin.
"What're you talking about?" Wendy asked her boyfriend, raising an eyebrow.
"I'll explain it later," he said with a sly grin before turning back to Mabel as she stood up from her seat and slammed her hands on the table after returning back to her usual enthusiastic self.
"You're right, guys!" She exclaimed with a giant grin and stood upon the table. "I just need to practice a little more before midnight and we'll have this in the bag!"
"Go to the golf course after dark, you say?" Stan interjected with a wry grin, looking genuinely worried and thought about the consequences of their actions. "I don't know, we'd have to break in and- Just kidding, let's break in!"
—
When the rain stopped, Stan drove the car right into the toll gate of the course, crashing through it. He then brought the car to a shrieking halt, and then everyone got out of the car and ran over to the fence of the course. Soos stood by and kept lookout while Patrick would pulled out his crowbar and pull out the nails of one of the boards and remove the panel to let himself, the twins, and Wendy inside.
Mabel handed Stan her sticker book before she, Dipper, and the teenage couple went through the hole. She was going to be the last one to enter when Stan stopped her. "Oh, and hey, Mabel?" Mabel stopped and looked up at her uncle. The old man opened the sticker book and saw a sticker that had a shiny gold trophy on it with the words "U DA BEST" on it. With a smile of support, he pulled the sticker out of the book and placed the sticker on Mabel's sweater. He then gave her a thumbs up. "Knock her dead, kid."
Mabel returned the thumbs-up and went inside after the others.
—
For the next few minutes, Mabel breezed through the first 17 holes with ease. Just as she did earlier in the day. However, just like early that day, when she got to the windmill, she was not able to make that last hole in one. At the windmill, Patrick and Wendy were sitting together, looking like the loving new couple they were, as they watched her practice and Dipper watching the balls come out the other side of the windmill.
Mabel grabbed another golf ball and placed it in front of her, before hitting it into the windmill. And when it came out, it joined the rest of dozens of other balls that didn't make it into the hole. "Darn! Poop heck darn!"
Dipper walked over to the windmill, puzzled how his sister, the best mini golfer that he's ever known, was still missing. "Ugh, I don't get it! What is wrong with this hole?" He stopped when his ears caught the very faint sounds of clanking noises coming from inside the mill. When he put his head to the back panel, he gasped and backed away when hearing a loud thud. "Did you hear that?"
"What?" Patrick asked as he and Wendy quickly got up and walked over with Mabel. "What is it?"
"I think there's something in there," Dipper said. Patrick walked over to the back panel and placed his ear against it. His eyes widened in shock when he heard not only the clanking sounds, but something else.
Voices were coming from inside.
He pulled out his crowbar and laser shotgun, which he tossed to Wendy. She caught it and gripped it tightly as the twins raised their clubs. The three then advanced towards the windmill with caution steps. They exchanged terse nods to Patrick, who nodded back and grabbed the panel. He took a deep breath, and then pulled the back panel off.
What they saw inside was unlike anything they've very seen or were expecting.
The inside of the windmill was an entire, miniaturized folksy Dutch town, but what really left the kids and teenagers was not the village, but the villagers. Small humanoids that had disproportionately heads resembling a golf ball. They were primarily blue, green, yellow, and pink pastel-colored, and they have blonde hair. They wore traditional Dutch garb including wooden clogs. The boys had blond bob cuts and blushing cheeks, and the girls had twin braids.
The golf ball beings merrily moving golf balls along their Dutch-themed landscape, singing and going about their daily lives. But then they stopped when they noticed the two large twins and even larger teenagers and gasped.
The tiny beings screamed in terror. Aptly startled by their discovery, the Pines kids and Wendy screamed frightened cries. The golf ball people screamed again. The humans screamed again, and the twins raised their putters, Patrick raised his crowbar, and Wendy aimed the laser shotgun at them. The beings once again let out collective screams as they huddled together for safety. But when it was their turn, the kids didn't scream and shared looks. Realizing that the tiny things were no threat to them, and it was themselves that were the bigger threat. So, they all lowered their weapons.
Noticing the giant beings lowering their weapons, the golf ball race started to calm themselves. That's when one of the creatures with indigo skin stepped forward anxiously. "We good? We good?" He asked the kids. Still confused with what they were seeing, the four nodded. "All right then! Hi, hello. I'm Franz, and welcome to our home!"
"What is this?:" Dipper asked in awe.
"Have you ever seen anything like this?" Wendy asked her boyfriend, to which he shook his head.
"No, this is the first," he said.
"Are you guys tiny humans, or enormous mini-humans?" Mabel asked with squinting eyes.
Franz laughed before clarifying the confusion. "Neither. We're Lilliputtians! Lilli- Lilliputt... the name makes more sense written down than spoken. And we control the balls! Behold!"
On cue, the side of the windmill opened, revealing an incredibly complex Rube Goldberg-ian convey system. Consisting of levers and pulleys that moved any golf ball that entered into the windmill. And the Lilliputtians demonstrated when one of them pushed a ball into the entrance of the mill. Patrick, the twins, and Wendy watched in awe as Lilliputtians turned cranks, pulling levers, and pushing turnstiles. Operating the machinery with skill, perfect timing, in sync, and doing it with cheerful, bright smiles on all their faces. When the process came to an end, the golf ball rolled out of the windmill and straight into the hole.
"That's incredible!" Mabel exclaimed with an astonished grin.
"And so needlessly complicated!" Patrick bemusingly added.
"Aw shucks," Franz said, gushing proudly. "It's only our life-long passion. Would you like us to elaborate through song?" The Lilliputtians gather and prepare to sing.
"Eh, we're good," Dipper interrupted before they could begin.
The Lilliputtians groaned in disappointment and dispersed, heading back to their various roles and duties in their little town. "So what are you hugelings doing here anyway?"
"Hugelings?" Wendy questioned.
"We kind of have to play this golf tournament against my rival, Pacifica," Mabel explained.
Hearing this, the Lilliputtians gasped and muttered amongst themselves as their cheerful attitude turned sour. "Oh, we know all about rivals," Franz growled with eyes narrowing.
"Put a clog in it, ya windmill-lubbers!" shouted another voice from another part of the golf course. The humans turned towards the direction and saw the 8th hole light up. This hole was in the theme of a pirate ship, and the Lilliputtians of hile were dressed like pirates, wearing eye patches and speaking in pirate jargon. The captain of this crew had a red body, a big red nose with warts, a thick gray beard, bushy gray eyebrows, golden teeth, and a golden hook instead of his left hand. He used a black eye patch over his right eye. The captain wore a dark red jacket with a yellow fringe, a white shirt, black pants, a belt, a pair of leather boots, and a black tricorne hat with a yellow fringe and a white mini golf ball with two bones crossed behind it. "These frilly bottom popinjays are terrible at controllin' the balls!" He declared, drawing his sword. "We are the ball masters, says I!"
He and the other pirate Lilliputtians chanted 'arghs' loudly. But this was interrupted when the Eiffel Tower that was nearby lit up and a French voiced shouted out, "Shut your mouths, you show-boating pirates!" The Lilliputtians of this hole were dressed as stereotypical French men. They are primarily bright pink, red, blue, and green colored with emphasized lips. They have black mustaches and goatees, wear black and white striped turtlenecks with a red ascot, and a beret. "Everyone knows ze Eiffel Tower hole is ze best!"
"Je ne sais quoi. Sacrebleu. Au revoir!" Shouted one of the French Lilliputtians. Subtitled: "I don't actually know French."
"Stay your comments, ye churlish Frenchmen!" shouted yet another voice as the castle hole turned on its lights. The Lilliputtians knights of the castle were all wearing metal medieval armor that covered them from head to toe and helmets with red tassels that covered their faces. It was unknown what colors they are. However, one of them removed his helmet and was revealed to have red skin and had a startling human-shaped head with a prominent square chin, an aquiline nose, narrowed eyes, a black unibrow, and a sparse beard. "None control the balls better than the knights of—" The knight looked down and noticed the graffiti that Robbie had sprayed on the castle wall. "Wiener Castle? Who wrote this?"
Patrick chuckled. "Hehe, Wiener Castle," he repeated.
"We'll settle which hole is best!" Franz exclaimed his challenge to the other holes. "Attack!" Armed with golf pencils, the Dutchmen charged to engage in mortal combat.
"Ooh, I'm shiverin' in me timbers!" The Lilliputtian pirate captain said sarcastically, before pulling out his sword. "Get them!" The Pirates swung off of the ship and ran towards the Dutchmen.
"Long live the mini king!" cried out the Lilliputtian head knight as he and his fellow knights in shining armor rushed down to join in the fighting.
The humans backed away as the Lilliputtian factions collided into fierce and violent miniature combat. But as it turned out, it wasn't as bad as they were expecting it to be. Sure, none of the golf people held back as they punched, kicked, and other blows as their swords were blunt objects and pencils weren't even sharp. But they didn't do much but bruise each other and tear each other's clothes. Some weren't having the best of times. The biggest example was a pirate Lilliputtian swung at a Frenchman, but got his sword stung in the ground and flung himself into the lake. And then one unlucky Dutchman was about to battle a Frenchman when he was picked up by a duck that swallowed him.
It was all so ridiculous that Patrick, Wendy, Dipper, and Mabel started laughing in full amusement by the rather comical fighting being displayed. "This is dumb," Patrick said snickering.
"These guys are a riot!" Dipper laughed.
While Mabel laughed with them, she decided to address the Lilliputtians to stop their battle. "Guys, guys, calm down! Your fighting is inadvertently adorable!" She said, making them break apart.
"Adorable we are, hugeling, but our tale less so," said Franz, badly bruised and battered. His fellow Dutchmen were lying on the ground, looking even worse than him. "Every hole in the park thinks they're superior, from the cowboys in the east to the grimy miners of the south. If only there was some way to decide which side is best, with... maybe... an award, or, like a trophy, I dunno."
That's when a French Lilliputtian ran up to him. "But Franz, look!" The other Lilliputtians looked and gasped to see him pointing to Mabel's sticker.
"The sticker. The sticker could decide!" Franz exclaimed in zeal.
"It does say 'Ze best' on it!" the Frenchman proclaimed.
"Oh boy," Patrick groaned. He knew exactly where this was heading, and was proven right when the Lilliputtian head knight approached them
"Decide for us, hugeling!" The knight demanded, getting down on one knee. "Choose which mini-kingdom to give a sticker to, and end our war!"
The other Lilliputtians cheered in unity at this idea, but this made Mabel frown. She wanted to give the sticker and end their war, but she just didn't know who to give it to. "Uh, I don't know, guys, she admitted. "I'm not sure I wanna get involved in your weird mini-blood feud."
Wendy's eyes widened when Mabel said that as an idea started cooking in her head. "Uh, guys, can I have a word with you," Wendy said, grabbing her boyfriend's hand and leading him and the twins off to a quiet space. "Dudes, just think about it for a moment. This is perfect! These guys control the course! Not only could they help you get perfect scores, Mabel, but they can also..."
"Sabotage every single one of Pacifica's shots! That's brilliant!" Dipper finished excitedly with a satisfied grin. "And all we have to do is tell them we'll give the sticker to whichever group does a better job of helping us win!"
"I don't know, you guys," said Patrick with a hesitant frown. "It just feels like we're just taking advantage of these little guys."
"Oh, come on, Patrick," Wendy reassured. "They hate each other. And by picking one of these factions as the best one, then it'll be like finally ending their little war. After that, maybe they can start getting along.
"I'm kind of with Patrick, you guys," Mabel said, which surprised her cousin as he looked at her. Seeing her just as concerned as he was about the plan. "I wanna beat Pacifica, but doesn't this seem like... cheating?
"Pacifica's rich, Mabel," Dipper dryly pointed out. "She's cheating at life."
Wendy nodded with her arms crossed. "So true."
Mabel mused for a moment. She wanted to take Pacifica down, but she wanted to do it fairly. However, after some convincing from Dipper and Wendy, she and Patrick were on board with the idea. But she was still somewhat anxious about doing this, largely for moral reasons. But she shook off those worries as they came back and stood before the Lilliputtians, who had put their feud on hold. Mabel and Dipper stood on the castle, as the teenagers stood back to watch.
Dipper blew on a tiny trumpet before returning it to a knight. "Thanks, man."
"People of the eighteen holes!" Mabel called out to all of the golf-ball people. "We're going to have a game of mini-golf! And whoever does the best job helping me win, gets the sticker!"
"It'll be us, lass. Not these tulip-munchers!" The Lilliputtian pirate captain gloated, pointing a thumb at Franz.
"I will not be insulted by a man with no depth perception wearing earrings!" Franz yelled angrily.
"Just remember, as long as you're helping me, no fighting," Mabel interjected firmly before the mini people could break out into a fight. The Lilliputtians gave each other side glances and smiles. Making them look very suspicious. A few feet away, Patrick and Wendy were sitting on the bench again. Wendy was confident in the plan going smoothly, but Patrick just had a feeling that would make him want to tell his girlfriend to check back on that in another hour. Not helping that they were all going to regret doing this.
—
About ten minutes later, a shiny car that resembled the pattern of a mid-50's Rolls Royce Silver Wraith pulled into the parking lot of the golf course. It was a black car with a white hardtop and four doors. It had dark wheels with silver hubcaps, a hood ornament in the front, a small trunk, and a gold license plate in the back. The interior had two seats that faced each other, which can seat at least four people.
Pacifica was inside the car, alone on one seat as her parents were together on the opposite seat. Preston was more focused on a magazine and his wife was putting on make-up. They were just finishing up imparting their daughter with a 'pep talk'. "But now remember, Pacifica, winning is everything," he told her.
"Oh, oh, and also looks. Winning and looks," said the trophy wife, Priscilla Northwest, while looking at herself in the mirror. She was a woman that had long light brown hair that seemed to go in every direction. Her nose was just like Pacifica's. She wore pink lipstick and had a slightly aged look on her face. Her face seemed very artificial, with stretched, oversized lips that take up most of the lower half of her face.
And it was all artificial.
"Dad, I've been practicing for, like, a million hours, okay?" Pacifica said in defense of herself. "I've got this. You'll stay and watch, right?"
"Pacifica, darling, we have a party to go to," Preston scoffed in a patronizing way. "We'll just read about your victory in the paper.
Pacifica frowned somewhat. Why was she not surprised? Shrugging off her disappointment, she opened the door and got out of the car. "Sergei!" She called out, snapping her fingers. The trunk of the car opened, revealing her trainer stuffed inside it. Sergei climbed out of the trunk and got the luggage.
Just as they were about to go in, Preston leaned out of the car, holding the handle. "Oh, and whatever happens, just remember one thing," he said calmly at first before his expression turned serious. "You're a Northwest. Don't lose." He then slammed the door and the car drove away.
Pacifica turned on her heel and made her way towards the course with Sergei behind her. Entering into the park through the exit with the utmost confidence. She looked around to see all the lights, with the exception of the exit light, were turned off. There was no sign of Mabel or her family anywhere.
"How much you wanna bet they're no-shows?" She scoffed. Suddenly, a quick succession of floor lights flashed on, leading all the way to reveal Mabel, Dipper, Patrick, and Wendy as they stood already waiting for them at the first hole.
"Looking for someone?" Mabel asked with a knowing smirk, standing on a golf ball hill. Dipper, Patrick, and Wendy stood on either side of it.
"Waiting in the dark, not creepy at all," Pacifica said as she approached her rival. She then looked at the two teenagers and raised an eyebrow. "And what are you two doing here, Corduroy?"
"We're spectators and commentators," Patrick said in his best sports anchorman voice. Wendy giggled with him and gave him a peck on the cheek.
"Whatever," Pacifica deadpanned with an eye-roll. She then smirked at them. "Seriously though, I don't know why you bothered to come. Unless you've got something up your sleeve.
"Oh, I guess you could say we've got a little something, right, right?" Mabel remarked with faux innocence, nudging Dipper with her elbow. Suddenly a Lilliputtian popped out of her sleeve. She quickly shoves it back in with her finger before Pacifica could notice it. The Pines family and Wendy played it off by laughing nervously.
The two then stood in front of the first hole, which was the one that belonged to the cowboys. Sergei stood in front of them to explain the rules. "Eighteen holes. Standard rules. Winner lives in glory, the loser wallows in eternal shame." He then pulled out an Olympic style starter pistol and aimed it up to the air. "On your mark, get set..." He fired a blank shot and yelled, "MINI-GOLF!"
And with that, the game began. First up was the cowboy hole. As Patrick, Wendy, Dipper, and Sergei watched from the sidelines, the Pines also watched their plan in motion. Winning the coin toss, Pacifica was the first to putt and the cowboys blocked her ball by moving a covered wagon. This shocked the heiress and frustrated her. Now it was Mabel's turn to putt. Hitting her ball down the lane, the cowboys raised the grass from secret tunnels to move her ball towards the hole. Stopping only a couple of centimeters from the hole. Then a cowboy popped out of the water tower and shot the ball, and it went in. This caused even more anger for Pacifica, as she marched off to the next hole. Mabel gave a thumbs-up to the cowboys to show her gratitude. The cowboys return the gesture before turning to mock the pirates. This however made the pirates determined to up their game.
As the game continued on, the Lilliputtians continued to alter the game in Mabel's favor. As they got to the 8th hole, the pirate hole, Pacifica looked ready to blow a fuse. Mabel was the first to putt, and the pirates shot her ball out of a cannon into the hole. A perfect hole in one.
"Out of my way!" Pacifica snapped, pushing Mabel aside. She putted, only for the pirates to shoot her ball out the front and landed in her mouth. "Are you serious?!" She yelled, completely appalled and bewildered. The pirates cheered, opened a can of root beer, and raised their flag.
The next hole was for the miners. Their hole was relatively simple in its design on the outside. Just a little tunnel with crystals sticking out of it. Mabel putts, and the ball goes down into the mine.
[End music]
"Ha, ha! Miner hole," Dipper chuckled as he and the teenagers watched Mabel take her shot. "I wonder what cute, silly things are going on down there."
—
The ball rolled down into a chute, falling down into the mines where two miners were waiting for it with a cart. When it landed into it, the two miners prepare to cart it into the mine. However, they were stopped when a prospector Lilliputtian rushed over with arms waving. "Stop! You can't go in there! There's been a gas leak! Anyone who goes in there will DIE!"
The miners look scared and shocked upon hearing the dreadful news. But then they parted as Big Henry approached. A legend among the miners, he was stockier and bigger than the rest of the Lilliputtians. He was blue and had spots of other shades of blue on his neck. His face was stoic and he wore a typical miner's suit without a helmet. He carried a large hammer and had four fingers.
"I'll take it," he said boldly.
"Noooo!" protested a crying, small Lilliputtian girl as she rushed out of the crowd. She had large blue eyes and orange freckles. She was yellow in color with light red-brown hair worn in pigtails. She wore periwinkle ponytail holders and shoes, and pink overalls with a lavender t-shirt. "Don't go, Big Henry!" she begged the giant, hugging him. "We need you!
"Go home, Polly," he instructed her firmly, pushing her gently to the other miners. Big Henry pushed the cart into the mine, leaving the others staring after him. As he passed through the seeping gas, the carbon monoxide started to take its toll on the giant. Poisoning him as he fought forever centimeter along the road. His head throbbed from a dull headache, his body felt weak, and a nauseating feeling made him feel like he was going to vomit. What was he doing? Why was he feeling like this? These were just some questions his brain asked as he became dizzy and confused.
Breathing heavily, he trudged on through the seeping gas.
—
As the Lilliputtian was struggling, Mabel and Pacifica were waiting silently for the ball to reemerge. Pacifica checks her watch. Patrick finally spoke up when he turned to Wendy. "I wonder what's happening down there."
"Who knows," she said.
—
Back in the mine, Big Henry was getting weaker and weaker. Sweating buckets of sweat, Big Henry slapped himself. "Come on, Big Henry. You can do this," he shouted to himself.
So, he finally reached the end of the track. Struggling to stay awake, he pushed the button to send up the ball. As the elevator closed its doors and carried the ball up to the surface, Big Henry finally collapsed beside the track. Gasping for breath. It was over. He's gotten the ball to the end of the tracks. All for his people. In his final moments of life, Henry reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of him and Polly that the young girl drew for him. The first nice thing that anyone's ever done for him. The dying miner's eyes filled with tears, as a small smile was brought to his face. And then, with a groan of satisfaction, he closed his eyes, as his body went limp. Dying peacefully in the mines that he loved so much
While he may be gone, the miner Lilliputtians will carry on his legend by passing down the tails of his amazing contributions. Big Henry lived life underground but would be remembered by all above ground, by those who would listen. He earned his reputation as the best of the best, and in the end, gave the ultimate sacrifice for his people.
—
His death would not be in vain. While Pacifica's ball missed when it came out, Mabel's ball rolled out of the mine and gracefully went into the hole on the other side. "What?!" Pacifica gasped in rage, throwing her club, which Sergei caught with no trouble. "Sergei! Soda! Now!" she yelled, storming off with her trainer behind her.
As soon as they were gone, Mabel lifted the lid of the mine hole. Revealing the anxiously waiting miners. "Okay, guys? That was bedonkulous!" she exclaimed with a big smile.
"Yeah! Talk about building suspense!" Wendy added with a grin. "Way to stick it to that Northwest bitch!"
"I can't actually believe I'm saying this, but good job everyone!" Patrick said, nodding contentedly.
"Hey, little hi-fives everyone, little hi-fives all around!" Dipper offered, lowering his left pointer finger into the mines as each of the workers high-fived their tiny hands with the finger. "Nice one... You did it... You're the man."
"I don't wanna call it out early, but I think the miners might have one of these in their future!" Mabel said with a broad smile, pointing to her trophy sticker. The miners all cheered in celebration and triumph. Big Henry's death was not in vain!
However, there were those that did not celebrate. When they saw the hugelings showing favoritism with the miners, Franz looked at them through a telescope from the windmill. "Are you kidding me?!" he shouted in frustration, throwing down his hat. "After everything we've worked for?!"
"Calm yourself, Franz," said another Dutch Lilliputtian. "There may be another way to win the hugeling's favor. Knock on wood." The two knocked on their clogs before setting their plan into action. They were going to win the competition, no matter what.
—
Meanwhile, Sergei was standing in front of a vending machine, retrieving a Pitt cola from it. He then brought it over to the Northwest daughter, who was waiting for him on the bench. Tapping her heel. "There's something going on, Sergei. I can feel it," she said, venting to her trainer.
"Maybe they have little people who control where the balls go," Sergei said with a shrug.
"Hoo, we gotta get you English lessons," Pacifica added at the wacky idea. "I mean, think about it. I'm globally ranked. It's ridiculous that she's beating me." The heiress scoffed harshly as she opened her can of soda. Completely unaware of a tiny figure darting behind her in the bush. Pacifica took a drink of the soda, before spitting out the pit the drink was known for having. "Ugh, Pitt Cola! I always forget about the pit. Get me a different one, Sergei!"
The trainer turned his back to her and went to the vending machine. Leaving Pacifica all alone. Out from the bush behind her, a tiny hand came out and tapped her shoulder before retreating back into the leaves. Confused, the blonde girl turned slightly to see what it was, only to be grabbed by multiple tiny hands. She could only let out a short scream that was cut off when her kidnappers dragged her body into the hedge.
When Sergei turned around with another can of soda, he noticed the girl was gone. "This is bad."
—
With Pacifica taking her sweat time, the Pines and Wendy tallied up all the scores that were scored in front of the windmill. It was beyond clear that Mabel was going to win with the landslide of scores she's made. All they needed were just a few more holes before they tasted sweet victory.
"I can't wait to see the look on Pacifica's face when we win. I'm thinking it'll be like 'ugh.'" Dipper eagerly made a face to resemble Pacifica. "You know how she does that? 'Ugh.'" He made the face again.
Wendy laughed and playfully punched his shoulder. "Yeah, man! It's about time someone put one of those Northwest bastards in their place," she said, shaking a fist.
That really got Patrick's attention. He's never once in the time that he's been in Gravity Falls seen his girlfriend be vindictive and have a need for revenge. "Wendy, what's your beef with the Northwest family?" Patrick asked with a concerned frown.
Wendy's grin of victory slowly dropped when she heard the question. Turning towards her boyfriend, she saw the concern he had for her. Even Dipper and Mabel were looking at her with puzzled expressions. "It's complicated, Patrick. It's not that I have a beef against them. Well, other than how they think that they're better than everyone, even after it was revealed that they didn't even find the town," she said, a little uncomfortable when it came to explaining the subject, but took a deep breath and told him. He was her boyfriend, and they were her closest friends. They deserved to know. "My family, the Corduroys, kind of have a feud with the Northwests."
"What? Seriously?" Patrick asked, shocked to hear this. He never would have expected that answer. "Are we talking like Hatfields and McCoys feud or something tamer?"
"Like horses and ponies!?" Mabel asked.
The redhead chuckled a little. "No, it was nothing that violent, though there were times where we also came to blows," Wendy told them, rubbing her right arm as she tried to simplify the story, but the truth was that she didn't know how to. The reason was simple. "I'm not sure of the whole story, as the reason for the feud would change over time, but it all started 150 years ago. Our family was in business with the Northwests to construct their big-ass manor. But when the job was done, they tricked us and then killed one of my family's founding members, Archibald Corduroy."
"They actually killed someone?" Dipper looked horrified.
"Well, that's what everyone believed. When they found his body, his ax was deep in his skull," Wendy explained.
Patrick looked down for a moment before looking at Wendy again. "Is that why you wanted Mabel to cheat?"
"What?" Wendy looked slightly taken aback by the question.
"Wendy, think about it. The Northwests used your family for their own benefits, and then just threw you away. It seems to me that you're trying to get back at them, the same way they wronged your family."
"No way! We're just working with the little guys to make Pacifica lose at golf and then give them the sticker." Wendy quickly replied. "Pacifica loses, they get something out of it, and Mabel gets the satisfaction of finally beating her at something."
However, Mabel was somewhat anxious and uncertain. "But, is it bad that I feel good about her feeling bad?"
"Ah, just enjoy your victory, Mabel," Dipper said. "Trust me, Pacifica will be fine."
Suddenly, Pacifica's frightened scream rang through the course. Startling the Pines and Wendy as they all turned to the source. The lights of the windmill turned on, and they saw tightly tied up on the ground like Gulliver's Travels in front of the building by the Dutch Lilliputtians, who stood around her. "What's going on here?! Let me go!?" she yelled. "Let me go, you creeps!"
The Pines kids and Wendy screamed in horror. The Lilliputtian that was inside of Mabel's sleeve peeped out and screamed after them. "What'd I miss?" He then asked. But upon seeing his brothers and sister, he jumped out and ran over to join them. Running past Franz as the Lilliputtian leader approached the kids.
"Welcome kids, welcome!" He cheerfully greeted the kids. "I can tell you're loving this, right, right? No?"
"What the hell, tiny Dutchman!?" "Patrick exclaimed with a glare. "This wasn't part of the deal!"
"What deal?" Pacifica yelled at us.
"Okay, allow me to explain," Franz said in an attempt to appeal to them. "So we saw you were favoring the miners, and we figured, what's better than beating Pacifica?" He blew a raspberry and slapped himself on the forehead as if he'd just come to a realization. "Killing her, right?"
"As if! I'm calling my parents. Where's my phone?" Pacifica exclaimed hotly, trying to break out of her bindings. The sound of giggling brought everyone's attention to some Lilliputtians that have taken the phone and are texting a message that said "U R DUMM!" to one of her friends named Tiffany. "Hey, hey!"
"So how about it, hugeling?" Franz asked, as the kids glared at him. "Who's da best now?"
"Not so fast landlubbers!" the Lilliputtian pirate captain yelled from his ship. The pirates revealed that they had captured Sergei, had him tied up, and standing on the plank over the pond. "If you're going to play dirty, so are we. Now give us the sticker, or he walks the plank!"
"No! Give us ze sticker!" The French Lilliputtians protested.
"The miners! Give it to the miners!" The Miner Lilliputtians chanted, running out of their minds.
Patrick watched all around as all the Lilliputtians factions worked themselves into a heated frenzy. All of them clamoring for the sticker and the honor of being the winner of helping his cousin sabotage Pacifica. He turned to Mabel and exclaimed, "Mabel, this has gone on long enough! You have to stop them!"
"How am I supposed to do that?!" Mabel yelled as growing dread filled her.
"I can't make that decision! Only you can make the choice to stop the fighting!"
Mabel turned back to the factions of the course and saw them getting ready for battle. All the shouting and yelling for her to hand them the sticker was making her feel more anxious and uncomfortable than ever before. As they pressed her on finally making a decision, Mabel cupped her ears before throwing her arms down as she finally snapped.
"STOP TALKING!" She screamed as loud as her lungs could let her.
The Lilliputtians, her family, and Wendy started at her total shock as all the fighting and arguing came to a stop as fast as it had begun. Even the one Dutchman in the duck's beak opened the bird's mouth to peeks out of it.
"You know what? No one gets the sticker!" She told all of them.
"Sacre booo!" One French Lilliputtian shouted, and soon all of the Lilliputtians started booing Mabel. However, she was having none of it.
"No, no. Nuh-uh. No booing- stop, no!" Mabel said, glaring at them. "No one gets the sticker cuz you're all being jerks! I mean, why can't you all just get along?"
There was a beat of silence for a moment before a Dutch Lilliputtian quickly shot her suggestion down. "Because we hate each other!
"That's kind of how rivalries work, lass," said the Lilliputtian pirate captain.
"Well then, maybe... maybe rivalries are dumb," Mabel said, realization hinted in her tone. Tugging on her sweater, she turned her head to look at both Pacifica and Wendy. The two girls stole a glance from each other, knowing that she was also talking about their families' feud. They both looked away, slightly guilty. "Maybe you don't settle them with petty competitions. Maybe the only way to be "da best" is by ending the fighting and working together!"
Mabel ripped off the sticker, crumbled it up, and then shoved it into her mouth before eating it angrily. "Oh, Mabel, I don't think that's very healthy," Patrick said, but then she swallowed it. "Oh, okay."
The Lilliputtians gasped and conversed. Appalled that they had just lost their prize. However as Mabel's words started to sink in, they started to realize something as they mused thoughtfully.
"It's all so clear," said one of the Dutch Lilliputtian.
Franz began, "If we work together..."
"Then we can cut open her belly and get the sticker!" Lilliputtian pirate captain shouted with his sword raised. All the hatred they had for each other was gone, as they all cheered and rushed forward towards the kids, their new target.
"Oh, come on!" Patrick yelled as the other gasped in fear, eyes wide. They backed up to a metal pole as the armies rushed them.
"Uh, you guys aren't appreciating the lesson here!" Mabel said to appeal to them once more. But the war-mongering beings with pencil weapons didn't listen.
As the Lilliputtians left the windmill in the unfolding chaos, one of them accidentally pulled a lever near Pacifica. The ramp under her started slowly moving like a converter belt, and she started being pulled toward the windmill. But then the blades of the windmill started whirring at crazy high speeds. Fast enough to take her head clean off. Seeing the danger she was in, Pacifica started screaming and shrugged even hard to break free of her bonds.
"We gotta get out of here!" Dipper urged, ready to leave with Wendy and Patrick.
"We have to save Pacifica first!" Mabel protested.
"Ok, but do we really have to save her?" Wendy interjected.
"Yes!" Patrick and Mabel snapped as though it was obvious.
"Alright, fine!" Wendy exclaimed, pouting. She then grabbed Mabel's hand and pulled her along. "Come on!"
The two girls rushed over to the lamp post with clubs in hand. Wendy placed her putter in her mouth and had Mabel jump on her back, before taking off her belt and started climbing the lamp post as if it were a tree. Following behind them the swarm of Lilliputtians. She then used it to swing their way along the chain of lights to the windmill. As pencils were thrown at them, Wendy landed on the ground, so Mabel got off, and the two girls rushed to save Pacifica.
Patrick and Dipper were ready to provide backup when they heard the sound of Sergei's frightful cries as he was about to fall off the plank. "Ah, Mister Patrick! Mister Dipper! Нет, нет!"
"Don't freak out, man! The water's shallow!" Patrick exclaimed
"Yeah, there's literally no way to drown!" Dipper added.
But then, of course, the man fell into the pond, face-first. Patrick and Dipper stared at Sergei with disgruntled incredulity as bubbles rose to the surface. "Seriously?" Patrick asked, holding his arms out towards the trainer.
Meanwhile, Wendy was fighting off any Lilliputtian that got too close for comfort as Mabel got to work on untying Pacifica. "Ugh, took you long enough," the blonde rich girl complained as the twin girl started undoing the knot. "And watch the earrings. They're worth more than your house."
Wendy whacked a few Lilliputtians away, slightly panting when she turned back to Mabel. "You know, there's still time to just leave her and save ourselves," she said with a scowl. "I personally think she could use a little off the top."
"Mmm...maybe you're right," Mabel said, taking her hands away from the rope. "Maybe we should just leave her tied up and leave."
"Wait! Please! Untie me! Untie me!" Pacifica begged frantically.
"That's what I thought!" Mabel said and pulled the rope off her. Now free, Pacifica got up just before her hair could start getting cut. But there wasn't a moment to breathe, as Wendy was pushed back by the huge wave of Lilliputtians surrounding them.
"We have you at miniature pencil point! There's no way around us!" The Lilliputtian pirate captain growled with his own mini pencil.
Despite their situation, the three girls exchanged confident smirks. As of right now, they were not enemies. There were no family feuds. It was just them and the will to survive. "You girls ready to putt?" Mabel asked, picking up her putter.
"Way ahead of you," Pacifica said with a smirk. Stomping her foot on the head of the club, she brought the handle up to her hand and grabbed it.
Wendy's expression turned to a serious look as she gripped her putter tightly with both hands. "Game on."
The three girls charged towards the Lilliputtians and positioned themselves at the starting place of hole 18. With their backs together, they started whacking and swinging at the mini people. Managing to hit multiple targets at once. Even with the danger, they felt an exhilarating rush as they used whatever skills they have or lack thereof to do something so intense. "You know, you're actually not that terrible, Corduroy," Pacifica called out to Wendy as they continued their swinging. "Especially your swinging."
"Well," Wendy said with a smirk. Hitting more of the Lilliputtians. "If there's one thing my family can do, is swing-"
"Will you two shut up and putt!" Mabel shouted, too caught up in the moment for the two girls from feuding families to give each other such sentiments. They continued hitting the Lilliputtians all over the course, thinning out the massive horde of them as they got them out of the way. Sending them flying into holes or crashing into some of the mini structures
By the time the last one was whacked away, Patrick, Dipper, and Sergei show up driving the golf course's golf cart. "Come with us if you want to get the hell out of here and live!" Patrick exclaimed urgently. Mabel, Wendy, and Pacifica rushed over and climbed aboard.
Spotting more Lilliputtians charging at them, Mabel shouted, "Gun it!"
Patrick floored the gas pedal, and the vehicle bolted as it took off. Everyone else hung on for dear life as the cousin drove through the golf course as fast as the cart would go. He saw the exit and headed towards it. They were about to pass by a medieval gate when the knights cut a string, releasing a pair of swinging axes in front of the gate. Dipper, Mabel, Pacifica, and Wendy screamed when they saw the weapons coming down in front of them, but Patrick hit the gas as hard as he could and they zoomed through. But then they had to go around a loop-de-loop obstacle for one of the holes. Everyone held on as they went inverted and managed to stay on the cart when they came back down.
But just when Patrick went over a curve, Sergei fell right off the back of the cart. "Sergei overboard!" The trainer shouted.
Pacifica and Wendy stared at him for a moment as they zoomed away. "I'll get a new one," the rich girl concluded.
By the time they were in the final stretch for the exit, some of the Lilliputtians came together to start pushing the course's gates closed. "They're shutting us in!" Patrick exclaimed. Suddenly a pencil was repeatedly poking holes through the cart. One of the little bastards must have got on the roof. There was nothing he could do. If they stopped now, then they were going to die. "If anyone's got a plan, do it fast!"
Mabel looked at the roof of the cart as the Lilliputtian continued to stab through the tacky material and then at the gate. That's when she noticed the volcano bonus hole. "I've got one! Just drive towards the volcano!"
Patrick nodded and gunned it for the volcano. Not wasting a beat, the girl quickly climbed onto the roof with her club in hand. When she reached the top, she saw the Lilliputtian that managed to get on glaring at her with his pencil pointed at her face.
"Don't even think about it," Franz threatened coldly. "You call yourself a golfer? Without us, that club is useless in your hands!"
Mabel smirked challengingly and got her club ready. "Oh yeah? What's ten minus six?"
"Ten minu-" Franz stopped for a moment, caught off guard by the question he was just handed. "What- hang on..."
"Four!" Mabel shouted and swung her putter. Hitting Franz hard and sending him flying right into the bonus hole. It glowed, and just when Patrick drove the cart up the ramp and landed on the top of the volcano, the whole thing erupted in all of its lava glory. Giving the cart just the boost it needed to fly over the Lilliputtians and make out of the Gravity Falls Royal Discount Putt Hutt. Patrick skidded the chart to a stop in the parking lot, where it then proceeded to fall apart.
Several pencils pierced through the doors, and then somehow an ax poke through the wooden gate. Cutting the sign on the door in half How they managed to do that will remain a mystery, but the threatening message was clear:
"Stay out, you dumb hugelings!" Franz shouted from the other side. Golf balls were then tossed over the wall.
"What did you say, you motherfuckers?!" Pacifica yelled furiously, getting out of the cart and marching over to the door. All being tied up, almost killed, and had gotten in a cart case, she was outraged that they had the nerves to make demands. "I will sue you, you goddamn little pieces of shit! I will sue you and I will own you!" She punched the door with her fist and panted, having finally gotten it all out of her system.
"Yeesh," Dipper remarked. "I hate to be the sorry sap that ends up as her boyfriend."
"Oh, come now, Dipper," Patrick said with a teasing smile. Patting his cousin on the head. "We both know that's a lie."
Dipper's eyes widened and he shouted without thinking, "STOP TALKING!"
"You four!" Pacifica growled as she marched up to the group, pointing accusingly at Mabel. "I don't know what you did or what's going on, but if you think just because you saved my life I—"
She was interrupted when Mabel handed her a sticker. Pacifica grabbed it and saw it had a cat on it and said "I a-paw-logize" on it. "I'm sorry, Pacifica," Mabel said with a genuine frown of remorse. "We shouldn't have cheated. You totally would have beat me, fair and square."
"I'm sorry too, Mabel," Wendy said, walking to with her own remorseful frown. "Patrick was right, I let some dumb feud that has nothing to do with me or you, Pacifica, motivate me to make you want to cheat. In the end, I let history repeat itself."
Pacifica stared at the Corduroy girl, a little surprised. From what she was told by her parents, the lumberjack family was nothing but unforgiving brutes that were not to be trusted. But here was Wendy, giving a genuine apology. It may not have been directed at her, but it was enough to soften Pacifica's frown. Deciding it wasn't worth getting into a fight, she just stuck on the sticker. "You're just lucky this sticker looks fantastic on me," she said looking away.
Just then, Stan and Soos pull up in the car. Popping open the door, Patrick, Wendy, Dipper, and Mabel got in. However, Mabel hesitated for a moment and looked to see Pacifica standing alone in the parking lot. She then looked to the others. Patrick and Wendy gave her a small supportive smile as to say it was her choice. Dipper, on the other hand, shook his head in disapproval. However, it didn't stop her from calling out to Pacifica, "Hey! Your parents aren't here. Want a ride home?"
"Ugh, please," Pacifica rejected with bitterness. "As if I'd ride in your—" She was quickly interrupted when lightning flashed and thunder was heard in the skies overhead.
—
Stan and Soos were singing the "driving song" as they all drove down the road. Pacifica managed to squeeze into the back with the other kids. Even though Stan's car was far beyond its capacity, they were above to squish between Patrick and Wendy in the backseat. Dipper was still petulant over the fact they actually allowed Pacifica to hitch a ride. Patrick was uncomfortable, and so was Wendy. Mabel was her usual happy self. Pacifica was the most uncomfortable she's ever been in her life. Being tightly pressed between the couples with her hair slightly frazzled. She rested her hand on the seat, before pulling it up in disgust when she touched a wad of sticky smudge.
She shook it off as Mabel exclaimed, "Hey, I found some tacos!" And true to her word, in her hands were five tacos that she pulled out from the back seat. Taking a happy bite from one of them.
"Mabel, are those even still good?" Patrick asked.
"Maybe..." Mabel trailed off.
"Mabel."
"It's from the restaurant."
"Gemme one," he said with his hand doing a 'give me' gesture. Mabel handed one over to Patrick and then Wendy and Dipper. All the while, Pacifica could only stare at them in complete awe, seeming to be unable to comprehend what was happening.
"You're allowed to eat in the car?" She asked.
"Yeah! The car is where secret surprise snacks happen!" Mabel said, smacking her lips, before reaching across Wendy to hand it to Pacifica. "Want one?"
"Oh, I'm not supposed to take handouts."
Wendy shared a snicker when her boyfriend. "Handouts?"
"It's called sharing, Pacifica," Patrick said with a patient smile. "It's when you give someone something out of the goodness in your heart without asking for something in return."
There was a moment of silence for a bit as Pacifica stared at him in a total loss. As if her brain was not able to wrap around the idea of a kind gesture without some kind of reward. "Sha-shaawing?'' She attempted to pronounce the word, but ended up failing.
"Just take it." Mabel handed her the taco.
Pacifica hesitantly took the taco, and just stared down at it for a moment. Muted as she stared at the food in her hand. As she sat there, she realized that she was in another world. A lifestyle that she never thought she's ever really seen up close in her life. One that you could eat in the car food that her parents would have deemed was for "peasants". Even when she was so mean to Mabel in the past, she was still willing to give things to her without thinking of money or favors that could be gained from it. A life where wealth, power, appearance, who you were, and what you did hardly mattered. In it, there was only fun, warmth, acceptance, and freedom. A series of emotions ran across Pacifica's face, and she was almost brought to tears. As alien as it all was for the rich girl, she couldn't deny that it gave her a sense of comfort that the heiress of the Northwest fortune had never felt. Her grip on her taco tightened slightly as she smiled pitifully, and then took a bite.
The ride ended as quickly as it began when they pulled up to the gates of the Northwest Manor. Pacifica got out of the car and started walking towards her house. "Thanks for the ride, or whatever," she said flippantly until she stopped and paused for a moment. "Oh, and Mabel? Um, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I had fun." She genuinely smiled briefly before continuing toward the gates. "And tell your servant I like his W-neck!"
The Pines and Wendy turned to look at Soos. "Yes!" He cheered, fist-pumping the air, before the flap of his W-neck fell down again.
"Mabel, I just want to say that I'm proud of you," Patrick praised his cousin with a smile. "Even though your rivalry almost got us killed, you had the will to end it and even had Pacifica open up a little."
"So are you guys, like, cool now?" Dipper asked Mabel as the four of them watched Pacifica approach her family's gate.
"I think we made some progress," Mabel nodded confidently. "The important thing to remember is that at the end of the day, she's just an ordinary kid like us."
But that was proven to be greatly false when the gates swung open to reveal the Northwest mansion behind it. The manor was a massive structure that was two stories tall and appears to be gigantic on the outside. There is a wall surrounding the entire manor, with a deer statue placed atop each corner. To Patrick, it reminded him of the Overlook Hotel from The Shining. The front yard of the Northwest Manor had water fountains, peacocks, and a statue that resembled Pacifica. Two patches of hedges are cut to spell the letters "N" and "W." Suddenly, there were fireworks in the sky as a giant neon-pink sign that said "CONGRATULATIONS, PACIFICA!" shined on top of the house.
The kids shared in awe for a moment as they pondered if this was what Pacifica got to enjoy every day. "Huh," said Patrick after regaining his wits. "Wasn't sure what else I was expecting."
"I sure wasn't expecting the peacocks," Wendy retorted, feeling a little amount of pride that her family built something so impressive.
"Should have charged her for that taco," Dipper said.
"Agreed!" Mabel responded.
Remember Big Henry!